Posts by quasarpulse

She smiled, her nose twitching slightly. "What do you know about spring?" She purred, amused. This was one strange kit, with strange hobbies knowing when different types of plants grew. She belonged in that overcrowded medicine den with all those other judgemental-gazed animals.

So she had decided. "Wheatley." She said, her tail curling, her small claws tracting into the softer snow. She took the weight off her right paw, the one she'd punched into ice shortly after hearing Chay's big news. It was a bit swollen now, and hurt to step on. As a result, she wasn't running around like she usually did to keep her shapely form up to par.

She wasn't much older than three moons, as far as Quasar was concerned. This was evil, to give someone so young a body they couldn't deal with, and no sense or maturity to understand it. She should have known better, Quasar wanted to say. But how could she? No doubt that asshole Wheatley had taken advantage of the situation or something. But still, Chay had said decided. Decided. How drugged out could she have been?

Her fierce yellow gaze rose and she stared at Chay. "You could have told me first. No need to announce it to the whole camp." Pregnancy was something private, Quasar had kept hers quiet as long as possible, and then only told Nightstar and Benniejet. Of course, she hadn't had much of a family at that point.

Quasar was touched by his kindness, and even more when he took the pain from her paw. She knew that it didn't really go away, it just moved. He would take pain on for her, and she felt her eyes fill at the thought, at the tender nature, at the way he cared despite knowing nothing about her. The lilac tabby gazed into the sockets of the Guy Fawkes mask. "Thank you." She said quietly. "I'll try not to give it so much power next time."

She sighed, letting go of some of her anger. Chay had to keep making life interesting, didn't she? But Chay was right, that was how Chainpaw did things. She shouldn't have expected things to be different. But she still felt betrayed that Chay would just chance her finding out through other channels. What if she hadn't been around? "Chay, having kids is a big deal. You're too young."

"I know what spring's like." Quasar said, despite her two-moon old body. Ah well, there was no point in trying to play the normal game anymore. "How do you know what it's like?" She asked. Soundkit seemed to have gotten over her talking issues, once anything green was involved. Funny. Quasar didn't think she was like that, having a topic that got her going.

The lilac tabby lifted her chin, as if her body were so much bigger and impressive. "I'll help you. You know that, right?" Quasar mewed. However mad she might have been, might even still be, the marbled she-kit was going to be there for Chainpaw, if she had any say in the matter.

"Who's Gliss?" Quasar asked, her ears perking up. Was Soundkit like her, somehow? Folded in with someone else, memories trenching up from beyond? The lilac tabby's heart skipped a beat, excited by the prospect, and yet nervous all the same.

"That's . . ." Unique? Not like her? Quasar blinked back a tear or two. Gah. Emotions. "Strange." Yeah, so she was strange too. Who cared? Seeming like half the clan was a little off. Maybe it was okay to be a little different, if everyone else was too.

The lilac tabby was irritated that Chainpaw was back to smiling again so quickly. She really didn't know how to hold a grudge, did she? Quasar glared at her sister. She was taking this all too lightly, not that there was much she could do for the time being. "You should have known better." She said crossly.

The barb -- or was it a barb? Stuck to her. "You shouldn't even be able to have kits." The lilac tabby meowed, tail twitching irritatedly. Quasar was going to blame this on her sister's older body, with hormones and such that she wasn't ready for yet.

It was a bad situation. Quasarkit sighed. Why couldn't they have just strung up a body the same age, same size, same fur. It would have been better that way. The lilac tabby pressed her head against Chay's larger white pelt. "I just don't want it to end up . . ." She and Chay weren't all that similar, besides having kits when they shouldn't. But it seemed like when she'd had them, it wasn't a huge deal anymore. But maybe that was because there were so many others now, to help. To share the burden. And at least Chay wouldn't forget them. It was too earlier even for an early onset of memory loss.

"I made mistakes before, Chay. And for whatever reason, I'm here again." Quasar couldn't quite explain how she felt about it, about having been close enough to touch, and coming back. Had she fallen from the stars? And if she'd been a leader, which by now she was fairly confident of, that meant she must have died nine times already. Nine deaths. That was a lot for anyone. One could imagine something getting lost in translation. She looked around the camp. "It's been so long. And yet, not much has changed. The world is still a cold place."

Little could have struck her more. Quasar took a deep breath and tried to keep herself from spinning out on Mera. Mera. She had to think of her as Mera, not any other cat. Not Chimeraflame. Her whole body seemed to twitch in her attempt to get herself under control. "Oh." She managed, swallowing. "Well you know competition is pretty fierce. I've met at least one other kit with herbs on the mind." Quasar said, her breathing easing up a bit. She didn't understand the interest in pieces of greenery or wanting to spend time around the coughs. Sick cats made her uncomfortable.

Quasar hung her head, uncommunicative. She could only endure so much memory at a time, and comparison was a tricky thing. She had to keep both in mind at once, and well, the lilac tabby wasn't the master of her mind. She doubted whether she ever would be. Would her past and present ever come sliding together in the future? Hard to say.

A cold place. All the changes, were they good? Or did they just allow for evil on a grander scale? Quasar shifted uncomfortably. It seemed like it would have been difficult or at least unfair to fight Chay again, now that she was older. And pregnant. "When you have them . . . they should be your priority." That had been at least part of her mistake. And yet she'd loved them so much. How was it possible? Chay probably wouldn't have issues with her kits being targeted because of their mother -- no, her and Chay were in more danger of that, and Chay'd already been captured. And Quasar? She liked to think she was too smart for that to happen to her. She'd been captive enough of her life.

Quasar sighed. "Just . . . be there, and you can't screw up too much." Yeah. Unlike her. The lilac tabby frowned, remembering. The absent mother. Her. She was guilty, she deserved to go back, to have to live again. She had failed at life, maybe. Maybe that was the task.

Quasar looked away from her sister. Did she want to go further? Did she want to say more? And how much did she say? The lilac tabby took a breath, and decided. "I wasn't." It felt good to get it off her chest, to apologize to someone for ruining the lives of her kits while putting them in danger at the same time. The marbled she-kit blinked. It wasn't fair, to not be close to her children and yet at the same time endanger their lives simply through their existance and her position.

Quasar stared at the snow, the white, the purity, making her almost sick, making her reel just a little bit. The past was the past. But if the past was really past, then why did it feel so present? She couldn't just start over, it wasn't that simple. She had baggage. Memories. And sometimes they were better, sometimes it meant she knew things, was wise. But sometimes? Most of the time? It just made her miserable. Quasar had a feeling she hadn't been all that happy in her past life.

Quasar froze, though her heart seemed to beat more rapidly, heavy, heartily. "Who told you that?" Se demanded, feeling the blood pumping through veins, roaring in her ears. No, this was not peace. It was a special kind of fear. Quasar hadn't even figured out who she was until recently, and she'd only told her mother, the deputy, and then Chimerakit had been sitting there.