Posts by calebbb

mathias was rather concerned about this date set up.. a good friend of his swore that this guy might be the one though, so he took her word.. at the same time though he could feel his heart beat quickening.

mathias had been out as bi since highschool, but only ever dated one guy. part of him had convinced himself he was just straight, and the guy before was a phase..but he that wasn’t it. he honestly couldn’t even bring himself to think about his ex..alexander. god, even the thought of his name felt like he was punched in the gut.

sighing mathias shoved the thoughts away as he approached the table, the man was wearing rather basic formal clothes. nothing too crazy, just a dress shirt and some alright pants. he wasn’t exactly a snappy dresser, but he wanted to impress this so called perfect guy.

letting out a small breath mathias approached the table, not looking at the man who sat on the other side of the table quite yet; and he spoke as he sat down. “am i late-“ he started before his face dropped. “holy..shit.” was only he could muster now as his wide blue eyes locked onto...his ex.                      

"speech."

benedict smiled as luke nipped his bottom lip then pulled out from the kiss. he tilted his head as luke spoke to him, and he smiled again. the ginger vampire gave him a wink, then leaned into his ear. “and you’re so gorgeous.” he purred quietly and pecked his neck.

benedict made sure to match and then one up everything luke said..for two simple reasons. he could, and it was just sooo easy.

he moved a hand to play with luke’s hair moving his body and leaning back into place. “captivating.” the vampire king murmured as he studied him.

"speech."

mathias was frozen as the man spoke, and broke down. he felt his muscles tensing. “no..lex..” he said softly, the nickname slipped out of his mouth as if no time had passed between them, and he had only realized that he had said it right after it left his mouth. “alex.” he corrected, and shook his head at himself before standing just after alexander had.

it felt like he was standing there for an hour..or two., but no time had passed. he was froze again, not sure what to do. mathias had never expected to see him, after the guy dropped everything and left after graduation. he never seemed to be able to catch him, but did he ever really try?

memories flooded his head like water from a broken dam. jesus christ..he forgot how much it hurt. mathias stared at him, his eyes still widened. he felt like he was in a dream..or a nightmare, depending on how this went,,,

“please..just..don’t go..can’t we talk?”

mathias didn’t even feel anything. his muscles still felt like cement, even if he was standing now. this was a weird feeling.. a numbness? or was it more like something regaining sensation. a part of him that he had blocked off until this very moment.

"speech."

mathias let out a relived sigh when he agreed, but squinted as he spoke more. them? whose them? mathias blinked a few times, and sat down just listening to him talk.

mathias stared at him his eyes clouded with confusion. what in the world was he going on about?

“break up?” he repeated, as if that was the only thing alexander had said. “you..” he felt his muscles tensing and his mouth squeezed shut, as he tried to calm down.

anger began to surge. since when was this his fault? he never told him to leave? “you left.” he finally finished, his voice straining a bit as he spoke lowly.

he studied alex.

“..i was waiting. you left.” he continued and started shaking his head as he pictured that night, his leg starting to bounce.

“i barely seen you after that..i tried talking to you, but you just..you didn’t seem to want to be near me? and then graduation..and..you..”

he stopped. he was rambling. he was rambling, and he was getting louder.

mathias’s face was getting red too, the type of red it got when he didn’t know what to say..and then rambled. not the type of red it got when he was mad,,, but when he didn’t know what to say.

when he felt so many emotions, that he couldn’t just hold onto one. when he couldn’t just say one thing, his words stretched and his face got red.

mathias wasn’t a crier..he didn’t really express things like that, but in this moment if he ever did cry..he definitely would’ve been.                       

"speech."

mathias stared, almost lost in alexander’s words and accusations. he stopped for a moment and looked down. “alex.” he sighed then shook his head as he looked back to him. “are you fucking serious?” that’s it. that’s all he could say to respond.

he didn’t know what else to say, he felt tears burning his eyes but he refused to blink and let them fall, as he lowered his head again.

the man sighed. he hated the way alex said his name right now..so bitterly. it felt like that same punch..

“i didn’t know any of that..i figured you broke you just..you broke your leg falling somehow, i don’t know alex.” he said growing frustrated as he looked back up. “i didn’t hear anything. i don’t even remember the days after that dance.” he admitted and shook his head again, taking a deep breath.

“i’m sorry that happened, but i’m even more sorry that you’d believe i’d have anything to do with it.” mathias admitted, and that’s when it happened. a tear fell on his cheek, it was probably just barely visible but the feeling was horrific for mathias.                       

"speech."

mathias felt angrier and more confused the more alex spoke, but at the mention of a promise ring his eyes softened. he took in a small gulp of air. “i don’t know what to say..my phone was..” he paused trying to remember, a strange expression curling onto his face.

“i didn’t have my phone..i lost it.” he said quietly. it sounded convenient enough to be a lie, but he’d lost it when getting ready with his friends.

“...i heard people talking, but i never listened to anyone...well except you.” he said and shrugged. that was true..mostly. he only ever chose to hear what alex said, but it was hard to not hear everyone else.

“it’s always been easy for me to block things out, and all i remember hearing through those days was static, except for that night.” he said sighing.

“i was excited, but i didn’t see you there. i thought i did something wrong, but andy told me..” he paused. andy was his best friend then. she was the only one who seemed to support him and alexander.

“andy told me that you weren’t coming..i figured you...” he stopped again and sighed heavily, not wanting to admit to what he had thought that night. “never mind.” he muttered and straightened up.

“you hate me right? fuck this.” mathias growled and got up, his hands moment tightly clutching the table cloth he couldn’t bring himself to say it. his muscles clenched as he went to storm off like he would. there were so many rumours at school, some saying he was just in a phase. others saying much worse..                 

"speech."