[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 3px solid #161616; height: 200px; width: 370px; margin-bottom:8px; background: url(https://secure.static.tumblr.c…ic_tumblr_static__640.jpg); background-position: right;][/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0;line-height: 13px; font-size: 8pt; text-align: justify; cursor:url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tum…ig6jktic1riysloo1_100.png), auto; width: 400px;]
[b]⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ kurt cobain.
[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0;line-height: 13px; font-size: 8pt; text-align: justify; cursor:url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tum…ig6jktic1riysloo1_100.png), auto; width: 450px; height:150px;][fancypost borderwidth=0;line-height: 13px; font-size: 8pt; text-align: justify; cursor:url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tum…ig6jktic1riysloo1_100.png), auto; width: 400px; height:150px; overflow: auto;]really, kurt was making himself insane. it was such a frightening cycle how his mind would work. first, something would happen- whenever he did something wrong, such as cheating on her, or something happened out of his control such as his band and him becoming huge- and his depression would play up. then he would go through that process of being os in his head, but then the anger came. he would get so angry and mad at himself, so upset and sick when he thought about who he was. and from then, something would happen to make him suddenly feel better again, especially with how quick his emotions would change, or he wouldnt be able to find anything to make him feel better about himself or feel better in general again, and that was when he would try to kill himself. but in this situation, kurt was stuck. he was stuck in the depressive stage, and he couldnt get out and it was driving him inane. there was nothing that was stopping him from being happy- he had topaz and caspar, which was why he also just couldnt take the road of trying to kill himself, but he was so far gone in this depressive stage right now that he couldnt make himself happy again, he couldnt work things out and make things right like he would have at one stage. instead of trying to get topaz's trust and trying to prove his love again, all he wad doing was standing there and feeling sorry for himself.
he stood there, his skinny, trembling hands covering his face as he sobbed into them for a minute, his crying heavier as soon a she heard caspar cry. his bond with caspar used to be so strong ad beautiful, it was so sad seeing how he was now. he had been such an amazing father, the best he cold ever possibly be. but now.. he was nothing. as she had spoke, he couldn't control himself anymore as he just looked at her, his bright blue eyes absolutely empty of emotions- which was so frightening- tears still streaming down his cheeks. "no!! stop, it's all my fault! it's all my fault topaz! don't f.cking help me! it's all my fault! stop trying to help me! just shut up!" this time he had yelled- something he never, ever did, and he had snapped at her this time, almost meanly. after he had realised how mean and nasty his voice had been, how he had yelled, he just looked at her, almost frightened over himself. [/fancypost][/fancypost]