Posts by Blacklist

[sup][color=white]you bet they are!
woohoo, that's because great minds think a like c;
i can't think of anything off the top of my head, but we can always add something down the road if it comes to mind^^
sure, i can the make thread ^^ i'll probably have it finished tomorrow night though because i've got one other post to finish, if that's alright!

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]i thought i was done. i had let myself believe for the longest time that i didn't need the liquor anymore. the drugs. i didn't need all of those things to feel okay. but i was wrong. especially after the band said their final goodbyes and i found myself lost without a sense of direction. i no longer had any idea what was right or wrong in my life. all i was concerned about was finding that next fix.

the band? we'd all lost contact, no matter how many times we'd sworn up and down that we'd keep in touch. it didn't last and i can't say that i'm not partially to blame. after all, i did nothing to fix the problem. i made no attempt to reach out to them either. my brother. ray. frank. oh, frank. the very thought of the guitarist had my heart constricting painfully in my chest. i'd cared for the other man far more than i had ever been willing to admit. he was my best friend. always had been. always will be.

i guess that's when it started again. when i found myself alone, out of reach of all the people who'd become such a huge part of my life. it all started socially, with a single drink. it couldn't hurt, right? wrong. it was the only thing i had left to hold on to. the only thing that felt familiar and comforting when the absence become too much for me to handle. sadly, i clung onto my old habit and i was refusing to let go.

and right now was no different. bottle in hand and feet propped up against the coffee table like i had no respect for my own belongings. the golden liquor swirled like a hurricane in the bottle as i gave it a lazy whirl before pressing it to my lips and swallowing the bitter liquid. well, it was bitter when i first started drinking. now it was rather warming, sliding down my throat in a rush a heat and settling as the fuzziness began to consume my head.

i missed the band days more than i ever thought was possible. the split was suppose to be for the better and yet here we were. here i was, practically drowning in every last decision i had ever made. part of me wanted it to come rushing back. to be able to stand up on that stage every night and have the crowd signing back to you like it was all they had ever lived for. writing and messing around the studio, without a care in the world. and at the same time, part of me was also terrified of going back. of letting the guys see what i had really become.

hauling myself up from the couch with a bit of effort, i dug the pack of cigarettes from the front pocket of my ebony jeans. setting the bottle down on the table precisely, i rose to my feet and made my way over to the front door. i tried to smoke in the house as little as possible and besides, it was a rather beautiful night as it was. the stars were painted across the sky and the moon shone bright enough to bathe the dark in the gentle glow of its aura. i suddenly found myself yearning for company of another, but not just anyone's company would suffice.

// ugh, this is pretty awful, but i promise my replies will get better!
i didn't really know how to start it without taking some control of your character, so i hope this okay ^^
let me know if anything needs fixed <3

[sup][color=white]Dark Eyed Dreamer :
well, it's kinda of au, but not entirely.
maybe something along the lines of a hunt going terribly wrong and dean ends up getting pretty bad. of course cas is concerned, doing everything in his power to convince him to give up the life of hunter entirely. begrudgingly, he agrees though dean can't leave aspect of his old life behind. in the same respect, cas is also expected to lead somewhat of a normal life and has his own struggles to cope with.
and unfortunately, that's as much as i've got at the moment.

takumi. :
don't hate me, my replies will get better. i promise c;
clicky

ricky-boo :
i know right. its too much adorableness (cause that's a word, y'know c;) to handle
daryl is a badass in his own shy way <3 but, i agree! i think that'll be a wonderful idea.
anything else you wanted to add? and who should make the thread?

oh death. :
of course, that's fine! i don't mind at all ^^
and thank you, i'd really appreciate it if you could make the thread!

Hideki Ryuga :
i'd love to play character b, if that's alright with you <3

❥ıᴛᴀʟʏ :
no worries, it's quite alright! c:
and, yes! you can play the girl, i'm not picky when it comes to that sort of thing.
i think i'd like to give character b a try, if that's alright with you?

[sub][color=white]just as the bell buzzed over head, donnie hawthorne slid through the door, plopping down in his seat just in time that he wouldn't be considered late for class. this was the ebony haired teen's least favorite time of the day, the one where lab experiments meant pairing up with those he wasn't all that familiar with. it wasn't that donnie was an outcast among his classmates, for he could talk to and get along with just about anyone he encountered. the difference was, he didn't exactly have a lot of real friends to partner up with him. regardless, there was no reason for him worry. not when he'd spotted a brand new face the moment he'd stepped foot inside the classroom.

maybe it was impatience or possibly discomfort coming from the new guy. whatever the case, he was going to make it his own personal mission to make blake hartford feel welcome in the school. everyone needed someone they felt that they could come to in times of need, after all. his hazel orbs fluttered to watch the blonde haired boy, watching with a silent curiosity blazing in the depths of his eyes. staring hadn't meant to be his intention, but there was something about the other male that sparked interest in donnie. something that was off and something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

(sorry for the wait! and the quality of the post. it'll get better, i promise! i've just been busy the past few days.)

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]the sweet minty taste of menthol clung to my tongue on every inhale of the cigarette. i watched as the smoke broke the transparent air, clouding and then dissipating in a stream of swirling secondhand smoke. it was quiet, almost apparently so that you could have heard a pin drop from at least a mile away. nights like these were peaceful, but the downside was that they were also lonely. and there was no bigger reminder than being left to wallow in your own thoughts. absently, i ran a hand through the crimson locks that were hanging partially across my face, blowing rather haphazardly as the gentle wind decided to stir things up.

it was then i heard a voice. one that was so familiar, i would have sworn up and down this was some kind of twisted dream. pulling the cigarette away from my mouth, i turned my head in the direction of the sound, startled at the sight that was laid out before me. i would have recognized that man anywhere. frankie. my mouth opened to call out to him, but nothing came out. it was odd, how i'd always relied so heavy on my voice, and yet it was escaping me now. the past suddenly came crashing down over me like a tidal wave, heavy and all at once and then slowly but surely calming down. whether guilt was plaguing my mind or not, i couldn't even tell you. the cigarette fell immediately from between my fingers, striking the ground and spraying sparks before i could snub out the blunt with my heel of my shoe.

if i didn't know any better, frank looked nervous. disappointed to find me this way, maybe? i wasn't exactly sure, but nostalgia was one hell of a kicker. regardless, he was still the same guy i had loved since we'd bolted from the gate together. he looked absolutely stunning in the moonlight, highlighting the ink that decorated and flowed across his body so effortlessly. those strong hands that had balanced a guitar for years, created such a yearning in me. a yearning to feel them snake around me once more in his embrace. i eventually cleared my throat, managing to finally address him.

"and i can't believe you're actually here, frank."

my feet felt cemented to the wooden floor boards of the porch. he was real, i knew that, but i was always terrified of making one wrong move. it was impossible for me to be that drunk, though the thought was constantly nagging at the back of my mind. what if this wasn't real? whatever the case, if this was in fact a dream, than i simply wasn't willing to wake up. carefully i descended the small two step staircase and started towards him with precision. i needed to convince myself once and for all that this wasn't some figment of my imagination coming to life.

"you came." it was probably a silly thing to say. something that was so obvious it didn't need to be clarified. yet i couldn't exactly stop myself from breathing those words, my eyes never once leaving his. so enticing and captivating it was difficult to look away, even if i had wanted to. the tendency to be "touchy-feely" had always been alarmingly pronounced in me. it was that much more prevalent to those i cared a great deal for, but the standard still remained. frank wasn't exactly the same way, though i could only hope he didn't mind as i found myself going in for the embrace.

my arms hooked around his back, holding him for what felt like painfully too short of an encounter. despite myself, i pulled away from the hug just enough to allow myself to make eye contact. don't get me wrong, i was beyond overjoyed to see him, but i still had questions that deserved to be answered. "why are you here?" i pondered aloud, raising an eyebrow in inquiry. out of everyone, frank was the last person i expected to find waiting for me practically on my doorstep.

// you did amazing <3
your post was absolutely wonderful, so hush!

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]holding frank was undeniably perfect, expect for the one small detail of how skinny he felt underneath my grasp. so skinny that concern began to bubble up inside me, threatening to spill out over the edge with every passing second. he'd never been an overly big guy, but i could never recall a moment where he felt like skin simply stretched over bone. it was still my frankie though. still smelled like him, still sounded like him even despite the gruff undertone i could only guess was a result of relapsing on nicotine just as i had done several months ago. and as i drew away, the smell of alcohol radiating off of him had my breath catching in my throat. one look at the smaller male and i instantly knew there was no denying my current state. even without bringing life to words that spoke the truth, frank already knew that i had crumbled beneath the weight of it all.

"okay." i mused softly, my tone hardly reaching that above a whisper. just let me hug you. it surprised me how much i wanted that. how i hadn't even realized that those were some of the words i had needed to hear. there was no hesitation on my part, immediately melting back into the warmth of his embrace. had his hold been a little looser, i felt like i might just collapse, folding in on myself and unable to stand on my own. my hazel orbs slammed shut as felt frank nuzzle into the crook of my head, a shiver running through my spine like a jolt of hot electricity. "i've missed you too. so much, you just have no idea." the words spilled out before i had time to gather my thoughts, too lost with the sensation of it all. the way his breathing felt hot against my bare skin. the feeling of his arms locked behind my neck, like he was afraid i might suddenly disappear. i held him close, holding him snugly against my chest until he was ready to let go. part of me almost didn't want him to ever stop.

and when it was over, my throat felt startlingly tight. like hands were wrapped around my neck, strangling the life right out of me. i blinked, clearing my blurry vision and hoping to high heavens that i wouldn't break for the last time and cry. already feeling as though i was broken glass, shattered and unable to be put back together wasn't exactly helping either. "why don't you come inside, frankie? you didn't come the whole way here to stand around the front yard all night." i didn't exactly wait for a response, taking his hand carefully in my own and leading him towards the front door. light was streaming through the screen door, pooling around the dirty welcome mat that had once been a cream color.

hesitantly, i let go of his hand to pull open the door and hold it open for frank. my gaze simultaneously drifted, settling on the open bottle of whiskey that i had foolishly left sitting on the table. i couldn't exactly deny the fact that i had been drinking, especially when i now lived alone. here's to hoping that alcoholism doesn't become the main topic of our conversation. silently, i followed him inside and closed the door behind me, not moving until i heard the tell tale click. there was so much i wanted to say, but for once, i had no idea how to put it all into words or where to even begin.

// well, you could have fooled me! c;
d'aww thank you love! <3 but i'm no where near as good as your writing skills.

[sup][color=white]i'm so sorry for the late reply everyone!

ricky-boo :
i know right? i didn't even know that it was possible for someone to be that adorable. and it's even worse when they're together! c;
me too! its been a while since i've done a rp like this (so thank you again!)
could you please? i would really appreciate it! i'm trying to catch up since this is my first day off all week. and there's no rush, so please take all the time you need <3
omg omg omg your spoiler! x3 just look at them!! fommy. that is the cutest thing ever, someone hold me

Hideki Ryuga :
yay! thank you so much <3
anything else we need?

❥ıᴛᴀʟʏ :
nope, you're correct!
would you mind making it? i would really appreciate it.

Dark Eyed Dreamer :
awesome!
would you like to make the thread, or shall i?

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]there were no words and it was all i could do to stand there and watch frank down the bitter liquor like it was water. it wasn't even the good kind of whiskey. no, that bottle was the cheapest thing i could get my hands on that would still make me forget my name by the morning. all without uttering a sound, i paced towards the couch and plopped down beside him. i reached for the bottle, the glass cold and smooth beneath my palm. for the first time in a long time, i'd felt sick to the point that alcohol was no longer appealing. "bottoms up." i echoed quietly, though i could feel the anxiety pulsing through my veins with every thud of my heart. pulling the bottle to lips, i took a swig instantaneously regretting the decision as i forced the bitter liquor down and pushed the bottle across the old oak coffee table.

i flinched outwardly at his question, a subconscious gesture that spoke volumes louder than i ever could. almost as though i had just been backhanded, despite the fact that no one had ever laid hands on me in such a way. i wasn't even sure i had an answer to give. not with the way frank had suddenly laid his cards down on the table. how could i ever justify what had happened? i'd been so insistent that some time apart would do us good, that the worst possible thing was looking back and knowing that i had been dead wrong. though to my defense, i never in a million years would have imagined things turning out this way. anger was alive in frank, dancing behind his otherwise stunning hazel eyes like a wild fire. and yet, his tone was tired when he spoke, when i deserved everything but kindness in that moment.

"fuck, frank. we'd all wanted different things. different paths for the band, but no one wanted to speak up. i just... i just wanted everyone to find that little notch where they could really be something. and i was falling apart, didn't you see that? i couldn't put that burden on you, frankie. you don't deserve that. " i stopped, drawing in a rather shaky breath as i desperately tried to collect my thoughts. justifying my decision felt next to impossible, but i needed him to understand. i needed him to see that i wasn't trying to be completely selfish. walking away wasn't something i had wanted to do, it was something i felt i had to do. "i am so sorry, believe me. i never intended for things to turn out this way."

i let out a breath i hadn't realized i'd been holding, slowly lifting my gaze to watch frank. the way he was looking at me now, made me feel so small beneath his stare. i'd wanted to curl up beside him, tell him that things would be okay. that'd we'd fine, like we always were when we were together. that the separation was over and i was never going to let him go again, but at the same time i was fighting the urge to break down. i couldn't put that on frank, especially when i got the feeling he was just as lost as i had felt. much like that old stray dog that travels miles to find his way back home, only to discover that home no longer exists. except that home did exist. it had just been surrounding frank this whole entire time.

"what do you want me to do?" the question was probably rhetorical, though i would have hung onto anything he told me for dear life. it was something i had been asking myself since the band split and i still was as clueless as i had been since day one.

// that sincerely just made my day <3 i love your style so much, i'm jealous. it paints such a perfect picture time every time i read your posts.

[align=center] [img][/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 450px; font-family: sup; font-size: 13px; color: white;][hr][justify][sup]
there was no possible way to prepare for anything like this. it just kind of struck, causing mayhem the very moment the public realized that something was seriously wrong. it starts out as a fever and that's what kills you in the end, not the bite itself. talk about chaos and the world suddenly becoming every man or woman for themselves. it was truly a dog eat dog world now, quite literally. donnie and his brother skipped town immediately, doing their best to stay away from the cities. that's where the most people where and well, quite frankly that meant that's where the most of the walking dead could probably be found. of course, you couldn't avoid it forever. not with how scarce supplies were becoming. food. water. weapons. clothing. shelter. you name it and the boys had gone on more runs than they were even comfortable with. his brother always did have that i'm invincible type of attitude. in the back of his mind, donnie always knew it would be the death of him eventually and hell, sometimes he really hated to be right.

going in that building alone had been a bad idea from the start. it was too late for donnie to say or do anything that might change his brother's mind, though. after all, he wasn't about to let his little brother be the one who was calling the shots. he'd heard the commotion from his lookout position, feeling fear consume his mind. gun shots which were followed swiftly by the sound of muffled screams. he knew he'd ring his neck for going in there despite the circumstances, but donnie just couldn't risk the chance that his kin might still be alive in there. that he might actually be able to save him. honestly, he don't know what he had expected to find. it should have been in the mindset that he should have been prepared for anything, but not that. he was already gone, but those things continued to feed, the remains caught between their filthy rotting teeth. his brother's gun had been thrown by the door, probably knocked from his hand in the tussle, blood glinting on the cold gray metal. sometimes donnie still saw that image when he close his eyes. hear those terrified calls when the silence become deafening. there are just some things in life you can't forget.

[hr][hr]

[sub]he'd been wondering for days, setting up camp for nothing longer than a single night before he'd move on at the first sign of day break. donnie was tired by now, both physically and emotionally drained. he'd been on his own for about a month now, each day becoming that much harder than the next. the woods no longer felt safe, harboring just as much death as the small towns did. and that's how he found himself walking along the blacktopped road, passing cars that had either crashed, were out of fuel, or were far too damaged to even be salvaged. he'd given up on that method of transportation long ago, figuring the only way he was really going to get anywhere was getting off his ass and walking. and it wasn't that donnie became comfortable with the way things had become, but he now knew what to expect. well, for the most part. it was funny how life always found a way to throw you right back through the never ending loop. always a found a way to make you feel so uncertain.

it was then he saw it, the motion blurring at the edge of the wood line. at first it appeared to be nothing, but things were never that simple. as the objects moved closer towards the opening and away from the forest, they started to slowly but surely break off. first one and then the other. the jerky and fevered motions a tell tale sign of the undead. of course, this didn't cause alarm in donnie. evidently, they didn't even realize he was standing there, though his hand was resting on the hilt of his knife that was stationed firmly on his hip just in case. no, their focus was ultimately on something else that donnie couldn't quite make out from this distance. it was probably foolish to keep coming closer, but curiosity was a hell of a thing. he could still hear his brothers gruff voice muttering sarcastically, "didn't anyone ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat?". donnie would typically do nothing more than huff in amusement and mutter beneath his breath how satisfaction always brought the cat back.

the recollection didn't last, not when he'd realized what had exactly caught the walkers' attention. his hazel eyes widened, irises dilating as a man tripped and fell, his weapons thrown from his grasp at the impact. fear immediately began to bubble up inside donnie and his feet were moving far before he had any idea what his big master might be. there were far too many of them to take on with a single blade, but firing shots out into the open crowd would only draw more attention their way. all of this was running through his head like a marathon, but time was running out the closer he got to the stranger. the man wasn't moving, practically cemented to the position he'd managed to turn himself around in. donnie's best guess was shock had its cold grasp on the poor fellow. "get up, come on!" the words left his tongue before he could stop them, his footsteps sounding loud to his own ears as he dashed across the blacktop pavement. the very moment he'd reached jay, he was desperately trying to pull the man to his feet.

[hr]
[sup][ooc] this is a pretty crappy first post, but i promise it will get better <3
sorry again about the wait and thank you for being so patient with me! c:

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]i had known from the very first time i'd ever laid eyes on frank that he was something special. that that man was meant to be a big part of my life. and he was, regardless if he was there physically or not. the smallest thing sent his memory flooding back to me. one of favorites things was reminiscing that night we'd met so unexpected. he'd caught my attention that entire evening, but it took several drinks and pep talks later for me to finally discover the courage to speak to him. i didn't have exactly have a game plan and i found myself rambling about the first thing i had noticed. the beautiful art that scattered his body, though more specifically the word halloween scripted across his knuckles. i'd always found myself fascinated with body art, but the fear of needles kept me from doing it myself. we'd chatted animatedly that night, never straying too far from the other's side. and the rest was history.

shaking my head, i tried to distract myself from the memory. the sudden shift in the couch was enough to pull me from my head, his words echoing and ringing in my ears. frank was right, that was as apparent as words on a page. there was nothing i could say to ever justify the choices i had made and yet he was the one left apologizing to me. "come on, frank. you know me better than that, i can never make things easy on myself." my gaze dropped, feeling the warmth of his touch, no matter how small or simple the gesture may have been. i tried not fidget, resisting the urge to move closer to his comfort. and that's when i saw it, now matter how brief, the way his eyes seemed to trace my lips and drift to my cheeks. he was sizing me up, i was sure, trying to gauge exactly how far gone i already was. or maybe that was just my imagination too.

and just like that it was over, the gentle pressure of his head falling to rest against my shoulder sending my entire body tingling. i leaned my own against his head, taking a mental note of the way he was staring absently at the tampered wallpaper. staring had never been my intention, but i found myself mesmerized by the soft glow that still remained iridescent in his eyes despite the exhaustion that painted his face. i saw the beauty beneath lingering beneath his pain like it had been my own. "i don't know what the right decision is anymore. about anything." i confessed, tone hesitant though steady even though i felt the complete opposite. the very moment i had felt him slump against me, intuition finally sparked to life inside of me. my hands instantaneously wrapped around him, trying to hold him up and keep him from completely caving in on himself. as though i could possibly keep his head floating above water if only for a little while longer.

the bottle was practically mocking me across the table, reminding me again and again of all the wrong decisions i had made along the road. every wrong turn that had run me further into the ground on a daily basis. frank didn't need to say anything else for his simple statement said everything. "even if it was the incorrect choice, there isn't a damn thing i can do about it now." it really did feel that way. i had burned far too bridges to earn the slightest sliver of a second chance. frank was here now, though and if i had a reason to believe that things could really be okay, it rested with him.

// alright, alright <3 we're even.

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]seeing frank so animated, emotions changing across his face like seasons left me hanging onto every word he said. hell, he'd successfully rendered me speechless to the point it was all i could do but sit there. motionless, expressionless aside from the way i was shaking much like a leaf in the breeze. the slightest gust ready to send me tumbling right over that edge and fluttering away until i could find that solid ground once again. he'd weaseled his way out of my embrace, but i couldn't quite take my eyes off the smaller male. there was nothing predatory or defensive in my stare, though a chaotic storm of emotion was causing mayhem to flare and dilate the ever growing darkened iris.

i could still remember, much like it had been yesterday, the first time i stepped out on that stage as the front man of my chemical romance. how'd i'd changed my mind again and again, eventually turning to the bottle to muster up the courage to face the crowd. by that point i had been so strung out on booze and nerves, i'd actually wanted to be there. to face the hypothetical demon of fear and uncertainty that shrouded the dream we'd been chasing. the way the crowd responded to every word that dripped from my tongue, demanding more. so of course i gave it to them the best i could, even if i could only recollect certain bits and pieces from that night. still, after all those years i hadn't known that frankie had been my number one fan since day one. that'd we'd started this journey together and i'd be damned if we didn't finish it that way.

though i wasn't about to interrupt his rant. it wasn't often that frank unloaded in such a manner as this and i couldn't help but wonder how long he'd harbored such strong opinions. he could have put the world on my shoulders and somehow, one way or another, i would have found a way to be his levy. regardless, it seemed as soon as he got started it was over just as quickly as it'd happened. the fire dwindled to a dull roar, nothing but the warm glow of the embers remaining. i wanted to believe him and part of me sincerely did. my blood brother was likely to be only one to offer some kind of resistance, but his facade never lasted long. mikey couldn't stay in a fit of rage for long, despite the fact that he may initially want to lunge across the table at me. and not because he was necessarily angry at my internal struggle, but because i'd kept my lips sealed for so long.

i love you. so, so much.

sucking in a breath, i could feel my anxiety skyrocketing. the sensation was immediately extinguished the moment frank took my hand in his own. his grasp so gentle and holding far more than a promise in such a simple gesture. i willed myself to stop trembling, but nothing appeared to be my remedy. there was too much of a conflicted battle occurring inside my head, batting the idea back and forth until i felt like i actually might drive myself crazy with the thought. "you're my best friend, frankie. i would do absolutely anything and everything for you and you don't even have to ask. i fucking love you more than i thought was possible, but i'm terrified." i'd felt like a caged animal, who was backed up so far in a corner with no way out. no foreseeable way out, anyway. it seemed like both options were setting us up for failure and i didn't know if i could handle such a disappointment on top of everything else.

"there is no one i would rather chase that flame with, but if you keep playing with fire you're eventually going to get burned." i shook my head, giving frank's hand a squeeze as my gaze averted towards the floor as though it was suddenly the most interesting thing. "i want to, believe me i do. i just don't know and it's that uncertainty that has me up in arms. i'm not sure what frightens me more; facing what i've done and going back out there or the possibility that it all crashes and burns." i suddenly found myself searching frank's breathtaking hazel eyes, looking for the answers i wasn't sure that he could give me. "if you can promise me we'll get better, i'll give it a shot." putting emphasis on the we'll was meant to drive my point home. and i wasn't just talking about the band, i was talking about frank and i as a whole and all the self-destructive habits we'd picked up along the way. i wasn't the only one who had turned to everything i should have avoided during our time apart.

"promise me."

// don't apologize, that was perfect! c: i got a little teary eyed reading that post.

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]having a personality like a wildcard was enough to drive anyone up a wall. just as there are two sides to every story, there were two sides to me. that energetic, i don't give a damn attitude and the complete opposite side of the scale that left me an emotional wreck. it made me feel weak and vulnerable, something that i refused to show the world. that's what my stage presence was for after all, dead set on convincing the world that i was fine even though part of me may been crumbling away on the inside. and yet there was frank, who'd been there even before i realized i needed him. he would have taken my secrets to grave, gone to ends of the earth just to so much as see me smile and vice versa. and right here, right now, was no different. i didn't need his words to convince me, every doubt was erased the very moment my eyes met his.

my heart swelled at the sight of his smile, something so bright that it could have rivaled the sun or melted an iceberg. instead, it settled on melting my heart in its place. it was my favorite smile too. the one that started out practically shy before blooming into a direct beam of his happiness that just couldn't be forgotten. and as though that wasn't enough, he was laughing and joking creating a joy in me that i hadn't felt in years. since the band days, to be more specific. i could have listened to him to go on and on all night, even if he found himself rambling about the most obscene topic. seeing frank this way was far better than any drug induced high or raging buzz alcohol could produce. he was all i had ever needed to feel so wanted and cherished in this life. as he snuggled up into into my side, the urge to run my fingers through his hair was too overbearing to ignore. and so i did.

"perhaps you've forgotten, but you couldn't force me into anything even if you tried." tilting my head enough to glance down at him, a smile began to softly etch its way across my face. i was still unsure, but one look at him and i knew that did want this. of course i was terrified and hesitant about getting back there, nothing was going to change that much. still, i would have given anything to get on that stage with frank at least one last time. "i want to be with you and the band. i want to be able to write music and goof around on stage like when we started. i want to hear that crowd signing back every last word and screaming at the crazy antics we always pull. i want my life back, frank. i want this. i want us." honesty was exactly what i was giving him, no matter how difficult it was to convey. "i just need you understand that it's going to take time. but you promised and i trust you more than anyone."

i leaned my head against frank, closing my eyes and drawing in a sharp intake of air. i could still smell the mixture of booze and smoke, though beneath it was frank. it was in that moment i had made up my mind. certainly nothing was ever easy, but the burden was always lessened knowing who exactly was standing beside you. knowing who wouldn't let you stay knocked down, picking you up the moment you collided with an obstacle. if anyone could pull something like this off, it was us. we'd proved that more times than i could keep track of. "are we really doing this? are you sure that you want this?" part of me already knew the answer, but i needed to hear him confirm my thoughts. to know without a shadow of a doubt that we were on the same page and he wasn't doing this just for my sake. his happiness mattered to me far more than my own ever would.

// we could always skip ahead a little? like maybe they're back in the studio or its after their first reunion show and frankie and gee have a moment on/off stage? just some ideas, but we can take it whatever direction you'd like c:

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]rather childishly, i found myself rolling my eyes in a playful manner as though i couldn't believe he actually had the audacity to ask me such a question. my home was his home, it didn't matter where we ended up or how ghastly our surroundings seemed. frank's smile alone brightened the room, causing every last shadow of doubt to wither away until it was as though it never even existed. wordlessly, i snatched the matching pillow from the opposite end of the couch and smacked him with the plush cushion. it wasn't a violent or malicious act, a chuckle rumbling from deep within my throat. "do you really have to ask? of course you can stay as long as you'd like. i'd be insulted if you didn't." humor laced the undertone of my words, flowing so casually that it was easy to miss if one hadn't been paying attention.

skippy dippy

blood was roaring in my ears, the sound almost deafening as i struggled to keep myself from fidgeting too badly. i hadn't been up on that stage in years and now, it felt like everything i thought i knew had suddenly vanished without a trace. getting here was no easy journey, the road rocky and full of bumps all the way to our destination. convincing ray to give the band a second chance had been relatively easy in comparison to the way that mikey responded. in retrospect, i can't really say that i'm surprised with how he responded. i know my little brother far better than he's probably willing to admit. of course, it probably didn't help how sheepish i'd been in coming clean. frank had been beside me the entire time, but i wanted noting more than to disappear into my own seat underneath mikey's scrutiny. the banter back and forth didn't last long though, especially when i'd broken down to the point that my entire hand was laid out on the table for everyone to see.

up until this point, i wasn't having second thoughts. it must have been my skyrocketing anxiety and bundled up nerves that kept me from sitting still, pacing back and forth from behind the closed curtain. the venue was already filling up and show time was lingering right around the corner. i drew in a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly as i tried desperately to compose myself. images came flooding back to me, sensations that you couldn't put into words. the way you could loose yourself out there should have been frightening. i mean, it had reached the point where i masturbated on stage for fucks sake. i should have had no limitations, no reason to doubt everything we'd worked so hard to achieve. the unfortunate part was that i didn't doubt my brothers, but more so myself. i'd walked away from the band for a reason and standing here now was still so surreal.

lyrics were running a marathon through my mind, playing over and over on a never ending loop. it was all i could do but hope i didn't forget the words the moment the crowd welcomed us back for good. peeking open my hazel eyes, my gaze skirted around the room, finally settling to fall upon frankie. i'd never seen that man so pumped up, energy bursting over the seems from behind his eyes. and yet, he remained composed on the outside, tattooed fingers strumming over the silver strings of his guitar and fine tuning the notes until they sounded just right. it was intoxicating to watch, how elegant and effortless he'd managed to make playing that instrument seem. the way it fit so perfectly in his hands and against his slender frame would have left anyone in their right mind envious. strolling up behind him, i found myself uttering a simple question. "are you ready, frank?" oh, please let my voice sound more confident than i felt.

// i hope this is okay c: i can always tweak it if you think anything needs added or changed. but i really love that direction, i think it'll make for a good fluffy and yet still somewhat angsty plot!

[sup][color=white] ❥ıᴛᴀʟʏ :
take all the time that you need. thank you so much, i really appreciate it <3

Hideki Ryuga :
do you mind making it?
if not, i'll get started on it asap <3

Dark Eyed Dreamer :
of course, i'm hoping to have it finished sometime tomorrow night, if that's alright ^^

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]the thought of a drink had been nagging at the back of my mind all day, starting from the moment my eyes peaked open only to be greeted by the warm sunlight radiating from my window. i'd been trying to stay clean for about two weeks now, if not for myself, but frank. letting him down in that respect just wasn't an option, no matter how badly i was craving the buzz that resulted from the bitter liquor. the urge was simply becoming stronger, beckoning me from the shadows at every twist and turn the day was providing. at least we were home, in a sense, though i never expected a sold out venue on our first show. it must have been all that promoting frank was doing, updating and uploading to various social media sites every free moment he got. i couldn't blame him or be angry, not when i saw the blissfulness it gave him. like he was living within in his own little utopia, stationed on his very own cloud nine.

as i stepped closer, the soft melody of chords registered in my ears. when i was a young boy, my father took me into the city.. somehow we'd reached the tough decision to play our most infamous song first, one that simply couldn't be forgotten. i could have listened to frank play all night, entranced by the way his fingers flew so delicately over the strings. how such strong emotion could be mustered up without him ever having to utter a single word. the room could have even been crowded, but to me, it would have always felt like we were alone and sharing only in one another's company. the way that frank so abruptly stood up after i spoke immediately left me reeling, knowing all too well he'd seen right through me. as though no walls were standing between us, hiding my true feelings from him was next to impossible. still, i was taken aback when he unexpectedly snaked his arms around me. without even thinking, i wrapped my own his lithe figure, grateful for the gesture no matter how short it seemed.

"i'm not okay, trust me." i mused, though amusement was hanging onto the edge of my words. the play of words was probably childish, but i would have done anything to lighten the mood that shrouded me. "i'm just glad someone has such faith in me." sheepishly, i turned my gaze away, feigning interest back towards the curtain. it was a wonder frank couldn't hear my heart pounding away in my chest, for it sounded almost deafening to my own ears. adrenaline was pumping through my veins at such a rapid rate, there was no possible way to keep from fidgeting. "this is it and i still can't believe we're here. why did i ever let you talk me into this?" i pressed, though the question was rhetorical. standing here right now had been my choice too and i wasn't about to let fear run me off the path. that curtain would be drawing open any minute now and this was now or never.

i could still remember what it felt like when i was actually comfortable standing before thousands of screaming fans. the way you could pick out faces among them, seeing their excitement feed into our performance. and it wasn't just the crowds, but everything that happened on stage as the show progressed. how emotions just ran so high, there was no time to think about anything anymore. you were just running on pure energy and every last feeling you thought you repressed found a way to shine through. all of it somehow managed to break the surface, exposing itself for the world to see. it was such a rush that alcohol and drugs were nothing in comparison. i would have given anything to be able to fall back into that habit, but doubt still hung int he air. "don't let me fuck this up, okay?" despite myself, i let the smallest start of a smile etch against my demeanor.

// it was perfect, as always <3 here's to winging it!

[sub]twistie :
of course, if you'd still like to ^^
i just have little more editing of the thread to do, but i should have it posted in the next day or so!

Dark Eyed Dreamer :
thank you, i'll have it posted asap! <3

[sub]here you go twistie <3
clicky here
i hope this is alright, i didn't exactly know how to start it c:

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]DEAN WINCHESTER[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][without you there is no me][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 350px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]i was defenseless, back pressed so far against the wall i could feel individual bricks pressing into my skin so roughly it was bound to leave a mark. the whole thing had happened so rapidly i couldn't begin to tell you how i'd ended up like this, staring down death in the form of a demon, eyes as black as the being's soul. my knife had been knocked from my grasp, the tarnished silver mocking me from where it was laying across the room. hands clawed and reached for my neck, what little strength i had tried to preserve, slowly dissipating from my body. what few hits i'd managed to sneak in only seem to enrage the demon further, and i didn't how much longer i could hold on.

had castiel not shown up when he did, it was a safe bet to say i was a dead man for sure. somehow i'd managed to keep my eyes open long enough to see the flash of blinding light, the angel's voice echoing in my ears as the darkness consumed me. my knees struck the rough blacktopped pavement of the alley way, all senses seemingly failing me in that moment. still, there was no sensation of panic, only calm as i found myself slipping away into the silence.

and then almost as quickly as it had happened, i found myself coming around, flinching away from the warmth of the sun that filtered down through the window of the shabby hotel room. everything hurt, practically screaming with every small movement i'd made. still, i bit my tongue, screwing up my face as i forced myself to sit up though that simple task left me breathless and weary. almost instantaneously, my gaze darted around the room, searching for the angel who had become such a huge part of my life. "cas?" i muttered, throwing the blankets off my lower body and struggling to get out of bed.

// i'm sorry, this is crappy and overdo, but i promise my posts will get better c:

[align=center]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GERARD ARTHUR WAY[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 13px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][you can run away with me anytime you want][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]i couldn't remember ever riding such a strong wave of raw nerves, feeling as though my heart was settled in my shoes. it wasn't even this remarkable the very first time i set foot on the stage, too naive and full of myself to even consider failure as a viable option. now though, i knew what the crowd was expecting. i knew what they were anticipating from us. how could i just pick up right were we had left off? how could i make them see that i was genuinely apologetic for the way things ended and this was only the beginning for us again? there were too many questions with answers i couldn't fabricate for me to find serenity. i vaguely wondered what frank's secret was, but i couldn't quite bring myself to breath life into the question.

and just like that, it was as though everything was suddenly speeding up and time no longer had bearings or limitations. still, a fond grimace tugged at the corners of my mouth as i watched both mikey and ray make their way front and center, the crowd beckoning for more. i was beyond grateful that frank stayed, even if only for a moment or so longer, closing my eyes as i felt his head rest against my shoulder. the action was comforting and warming, but it was his words that left me reeling at a loss. it wasn't as though he waited for my response, sauntering forward with the crisp sound of his guitar echoing through the amplifiers. "i love you too." i found myself murmuring, well aware that frank wasn't paying attention to me now, too hyper-focused on roaring crowd that welcomed him. my feet felt frozen, practically cemented to the very position i stood, only the hollers and cheers from our audience giving me the final push to make my own entrance.

"belleville! did you miss us? because we fucking missed you!"

the words were leaving my tongue long before i ever appeared from behind the current, feeling the electrifying current pulsating through the venue. it merely took me a moment to adjust to the blinding and flashing lights, eyes dilating through the fog that was settling against the wooden floorboards. "now, me and my brothers here are in a little band called my chemical romance and don't you ever fucking forget it." it was as though every ounce of my anxiety was nonexistent in that moment, every last doubt rolling off me like rain drops on glass. angling my body towards frank, i flashed him a sly smile, bleach white teeth flashing behind the cheeky grin. the opening piano notes of 'welcome to the black parade' split the air, the crowd instantaneously announcing their approval in a chorus of cheers and screams.

absently, i ran a hand through my unruly crimson hair waiting with almost impatience for my cue to vocalize the lyrics. though it was frank who stole my attention as he glided towards the end of the stage so effortlessly, the sight was breathtaking. he interacted with the crowd like they were all long last friends or kin, laughing and winking as they practically went psycho over the attention. it was hard to believe that we were actually standing here. this was no longer just talk or a hypothetical idea that might someday become reality. this was it and it was everything we had hoped it would be and so much more. the piano quieted for a brief second, just long enough for me to butt in with the beginning of the first verse.

// no need to apologize, sweetie

[align=center] [img][/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 27px; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px black; letter-spacing: 2px;][sup]GRAYSON SHAY BROOKS[/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 15px; color: grey; letter-spacing: 5px; opacity: 0.79; margin-top: -21px;][ so fake your death][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 375px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 11px; color: white;][justify]* Trigger Warnings Possible -- This thread contains alcoholism/drug use, strong language, intimacy, and overall mature themes. *

There was a time that I honestly believed I had everything I wanted in this world. I was living every kid's dream and I let it slid through my fingers like water. Could you believe that I was actually part of a band? We weren't that huge, but we were paving our own road towards stardom, let me tell you. We had a record deal and a debut album, but with a blink of the eyes it was simply gone. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. The band crumpled and I fell apart along with it.

I guess I owe you somewhat of an explanation. I loved those guys to death, but we just butted heads far too much to ever stick anything out. Each and every one of us had an ideal picture in our head for what the band was suppose to be. The problem was that no one wanted to compromise. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but I was devastated the day we threw in the towel. The day that everyone called it quits with my band. Not all of them were finished with music, but I certainly was. I had learned my lesson, believe it not.

Not only did I loose my band, but my best friend was torn from my grasp as well. I wanted to understand the reason we retracted from one another, but no matter how hard I tried, it simply evaded me. I'm no stranger to loss, but that was enough to send me tumbling right over the edge. My depression sucked me under once again. Dad grew ill and it was really no surprise the day he passed away. It still hurt like hell, don't get me wrong. I was looking for anything to take away the pain and I found it alright. I discovered the answer in the bottom of a bottle.

= = =

The best way to cure a hangover is with coffee. Scratch that, the best way to actually cure a hangover is to never stop drinking. The thing of it is though, bars have this cut off limit and that just becomes next to impossible to achieve with those mediocre laws. So that would explain how I'd ended up standing in the middle of a coffee shop so close to midnight. I assure you though, I wasn't drunk. My evening was only really just beginning.

"Thank you." I smiled politely to young blonde behind the counter as she handed my coffee. Black, of course. Sugar and sweetener was for the weak. I brought the cup to my lips, my hazel orbs flickering shut as the hot liquid slid down my throat. It certainly went down smoother than alcohol, I'll give you that much. I nodded a finally farewell, partially raising my drink as I turned on my heels to head towards the door. The world had other plans for me though. Nothing was ever simple. Ever.

It was like my past had finally come back to bite me in the ass. Actually, it was more like a giant slap across the face. Perhaps, I was wrong, but the man walking through the door looked a lot like my old band mate. Sh.it. I hoped I was wrong. Please let me be mistaken. This was the last place I wanted to be spotted and quite frankly, this was the last person I wanted to see right now. Instinctively, I put my head down, casually sliding my free hand into the pocket of my worn leather jacket. I hoped his attention might be anywhere but on me, but if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all. Letting out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding, I made a beeline towards the door.

This cannot be happening to me.

PLOT -- Grayson used to be a singer and a guitarist, about two years ago until his band broke up. Not only did the band break up, but his relationship with {your character} crumbled. Some of the members went on and continued their reach to stardom, while Grayson simply fell apart. It was as though he was drowning within a pool of his own sorrows. His best friend {your character}, hadn't spoken to Grayson in nearly two years since the band's departure, and no one had really seen him since that day. Grayson now lives a secluded life at this point. Quiet and away from the world. But he also has secrets. He's turned into an alcoholic, trying to hide himself from the world. Not only this, but Grayson's anxiety has sky-rocketed since the death of his father. He's falling to pieces with no end in sight. However, when {your character}, and Grayson finally meet again one evening at a coffee shoppe, the things that happen could be quite unexpected. {Your character} isn't exactly perfect either, though, powering through his own battles in life. Will they rediscover the very reason that the band was left in shambles or will their love for one another finally win?