[justify]COMPLICATED
>>word count: 801
Ashleigh was my best friend in primary school. Is still my best friend, even to this day, but I can’t say that we share the same kind of mutual understanding we once did. I’m in University this year, working towards my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree; training to be a Primary School teacher. She’s off in urban Melbourne, chasing a writing career and leaving behind all her bitter memories back in Brisbane. I’ve never been up to Brisbane, but her parents have come down before. They’re pretty nice people, I guess.
So. What happened, I guess, was to be expected; I’m assuming it was building up for quite a while, I just didn’t notice it. Her family had been doing pretty badly for a while, and it showed up in school because she was pretty down about it all. Sometimes she would confide in me, spending lunchtimes that would have been better spent studying for exams in the library, talking about the whole family situation – her father got cut from the manufacturing industry, and he was unemployed and always either silent and sullen, or short-tempered and taking out his anger on the family. Her mother was a little afraid, she told me; she would sit in the kitchen with hands clasped until 6 when Ashleigh got home from school, having entirely forgotten to cook dinner. Her younger brother was getting a little stressed about everything that was happening, and she’d find him knocking on her door near dawn, a little tearful and more than a bit irritated.
“It’s all so messed up,” she told me one lunchtime, running her fingers across the back of my hand and avoiding my eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore, because I can’t cook and I need to study; I just really don’t need this kind of thing to happen now. Of all times.”
This went on for a while; five weeks, maybe? But we were halfway through second term when she suddenly didn’t come to school. So, okay, I thought she was sick, but when I texted her and then called her afterwards, she wouldn’t answer. Ashleigh missed school for a whole week, and the pile of homework I had held onto for her was growing. Finally, when she came back on Tuesday, she was silent and tired and entirely unwilling to talk. It seemed her father was in hospital now, dealing with official depression, and her mother was there day and night watching out for him in case of self-harm. He hadn’t done anything as of yet, but Ashleigh was scared; more terrified than I had seen her in a while.
We spent the rest of the year exchanging few words, and she breezed through her exams like nothing but wouldn’t tell me her score. I get the feeling it could have been a high one, but I’ll never know, because a few days into the summer holidays she rang me to tell me that she was moving to Melbourne.
“I have to get away from everything, okay? Dad’s pretty much better now, and I got the offer for studying some hands-on journalism in Melbourne ages ago; it would be madness not to accept. So I’m calling you to say bye, and thanks, too.”
“It’s not like you’re leaving forever, Ash, why are you talking like that?”
The phone crackled between us as the silence stretched on, and she finally answered, “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated? How? What do you mean?”
“See, I was staying back to finish exams because Dad wanted me to. I had enough proof of experience to have moved straight to Melbourne before VCE, but he made me stay. Now he’s pretty much okay, so I’m moving out – renting a place and cutting off communication for a while. Don’t want it to keep me from moving forwards, see.”
“What about Will? He’s only in grade 6.”
“Will’s going to be okay. I’ve already told him.”
Then she hung up, and I sat there for minutes, listening to the beeping and shocked and hurt. What did she mean, cutting off communication? She’s trying to start again? Bit late for that, isn’t it? Most of all, I felt bad for Will; her brother was so…young, how would he deal with it?
Regardless of my doubts on the matter, the next time I saw Ashleigh was at the airport, trying to extricate herself from her mother’s tearful embrace. When she saw me, she gave me the first smile she had managed in ages, and waved with almost a cheerful air. Now that I think about it, she was just ready to give up and start all over, forget about all that had happened. You can’t really blame her.
It’s been two months since she went to Melbourne. I hope she’s doing well.
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