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Posts by Echoez
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Duskmoon
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Eclipsedsun
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Light Glistening on Mystical Lake
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Stars that shine in eternal glory
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Legendroar
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Cypress of spring forest
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Could you please critique a small portion of my Chapter 1.? THANKS! You can do in-depth of light, whichever you feel like doing.
Feyth ran her pale hand down the smooth trunk of a seemingly ancient oak tree. The rough bark had been torn away by razor sharp claws. She was still a novice at tracking, but so far she had been doing adequately. Along the trail, bushes had been trampled down and flattened by large feet, possibly paws. Further along the trail she had been following, she noticed a tuft of black fur tangled in a bramble bush. She bent down and freed it of the tendrils, surprised that it was soft and silky to the touch. Fur like this did not belong to many creatures, especially not creatures of this size and potency. Feyth stood up, the fur still in her hand. A ferocious roar echoed through the forest, bouncing of the trees and reverberating until the sound died away, transforming back into the silence that had filled the forest. It was a frightening noise, used to ward of attackers, but Feyth was not interested in attacking the creature. Feyth immediately pinpointed the source of the noise. She raced through the forest, dodging past trees and jumping over debris of fallen trees and uprooted plants. Something huge had some this way, the trail made that fact obvious and she now had a pretty accurate idea of what the creature was from the signs and clues she had accumulated whilst tracking it. Unfortunately, confronting or approaching large creatures could be quite a precarious business, they are highly dangerous and can be extremely unpredictable. Feyth raced through the forest, sprinting at an incredible speed that could be achieved by few ordinary humans, let alone a girl of the age 16. She leapt and jumped over the obstacles with graceful agility and acute accuracy. She did not realise how fast she was sprinting until she skidded to a halt, stopping abruptly at the edge of a dip, which reached deep into the ground.
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Blazing Fire in Open Grasslands
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Silkwing
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Covered in purple boogers, but
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~Screen Name: Cold Spirited
~What you want to be called Faith
~Writing Example
Feyth ran her pale hand down the smooth trunk of a seemingly ancient oak tree. The rough bark had been torn away by razor sharp claws. She was still a novice at tracking, but so far she had been doing adequately. Along the trail, bushes had been trampled down and flattened by large feet, possibly paws. Further along the trail she had been following, she noticed a tuft of black fur tangled in a bramble bush. She bent down and freed it of the tendrils, surprised that it was soft and silky to the touch. Fur like this did not belong to many creatures, especially not creatures of this size and potency. Feyth stood up, the fur still in her hand. A ferocious roar echoed through the forest, bouncing of the trees and reverberating until the sound died away, transforming back into the silence that had filled the forest. It was a frightening noise, used to ward of attackers, but Feyth was not interested in attacking the creature. Feyth immediately pinpointed the source of the noise. She raced through the forest, dodging past trees and jumping over debris of fallen trees and uprooted plants. Something huge had some this way, the trail made that fact obvious and she now had a pretty accurate idea of what the creature was from the signs and clues she had accumulated whilst tracking it. Unfortunately, confronting or approaching large creatures could be quite a precarious business, they are highly dangerous and can be extremely unpredictable. Feyth raced through the forest, sprinting at an incredible speed that could be achieved by few ordinary humans, let alone a girl of the age 16. She leaped and jumped over the obstacles with graceful agility and acute accuracy. She did not realise how fast she was sprinting until she skidded to a halt, stopping abruptly at the edge of a dip, which reached deep into the ground. She peered down into the gaping crater and could see, clear as daylight, the creature she had been tracking.
To be continued...
Not really, I just decided to not put in the whole chapter.
~What you feel that you need help on.
I dunno? Grammar, vocabulary, punctuation, all the stuff that my sucky English teacher has failed to accomplish.
~Private or Group
Either is fine, I like group though.
~Other
Nice to meet you c: -
Wolfnight
Nightshroud -
Water of Rippling Puddle
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Eye of Night Time Owl
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Okay then, private's fine :3
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Sunstrike
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[img width=510 height=255]http://i39.tinypic.com/301q2oo.png[/img]
It's not the best, but I hope you like it :3