Posts by silver_leaf

Okay, well, how do I start this?
I guess I oughta start by telling you guys that when I was eight, my dad had an affair with another woman. I can't tell you at first how it was for me... I was only eight, but my dad going hurt very much. I lived with my mom for a while, and she had this boyfriend. she was with him once, broke up, and was with him again.
I was pretty close to this fella as a dad, considering.
Anyway, the second time he broke up with her, it turned out he had used his disability money for drugs, and left my mother homeless. I was sent with my brother and sister to live with my dad, his fiancée (the woman he had an affair with) and my step siblings.
This was okay for me. I was like this really, up until now. I started sixth grade living with my dad. It kinda hurt not being around my mother as much, but I grew close to my step mother. over the next, hmm, I'd say six years? yeah, I came to love my stepmother as another mother, a woman I could relate to when I wasn't with my mom.
Anyway, here's the big part of my story.
One night, my dad and stepmom were arguing. No biggie, right? just let them work their problems out in peace, is what I thought. But, soon enough, the accusations they through at each other made me wish I was somewhere else.
All of a sudden, my dad shoved my stepmom into the bathroom, where all I could hear is her yelling for him to stop. I banged on the door and pleaded my dad to quit, I cried, yelling and screaming for him to stop what he was doing. I even grabbed a phone and threatened to call the police, but by the time I had dialed 9 and 1, they both cam out of the bathroom. my stepmom was leaving, telling my dad to stay away from her.
Well, I was mad at my dad for a while, but forgave him, and before long, so did my stepmom. She swore to everyone that my dad did nothing to really hurt her, although I didn't feel as if I should believe it for a moment.
Some weeks later, they were arguing again. And, I feel horrible for it, but because I wanted an unbiased truth, I listened, and found out that my dad could have killed my stepmom when he had pushed her in the bathroom, at least, this is what my stepmom said. Ever since then, they've been apart.
I miss my stepmom a lot, but I've forgiven my dad, for we all shall forgive. I just can't help missing my stepmom. My step siblings, who are pretty young (in elementary) come to ride the bus, but my heart broke when it finally dawned on them that the house they had lived in wasn't their home anymore.
I have walked through the woods behind myself crying, and sometimes I wonder if it's even worth making connections with people if all that's going to happen is that they are pulled out of my life.

Also, even though it is unrelated, my best friend at school was raped after school hours. However, nobody believes her because the sick guys say "she was asking for it." I wasn't actually there, but my best friend wouldn't just tell something like that. I can see it in her eyes. And she's in band, the center of all that drama, and her aunt won't let her quit band. I try to find ways to support her, but sometimes it seems as if it is slowly breaking her down, the whole situation. She has come to peace with it; it's just that people bully her when i'm not around by saying she was, well, words not for this website.

I'm not on the internet a lot, but I would appreciate your support. I can't get over all these worries and they just keep on and on and on...