Heartbroken

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    "There are plenty of other she-cats," she said, "Ones that haven't lost so much." She sighed. She wanted this tom to be happy and she believed that he wouldn't be unless she was gone. "I will only hurt you," she said quietly.

    "Yes, plenty of other she-cats who have somebody. Won't you let me give something to you?" Thunder begged with a pleading step towards her. "I don't care if I get hurt, just please don't do it..."

    She shook her head, "Fine, but I warned you." She finally gave in although she still thought about sneaking away so she couldn't hurt him. She sighed; this cat reminded her of her former mate, Birchheart. She lied down exhausted from the day.

    Thunder let out a quiet sigh of relief, soon dropping on the ground and settling his head on a soft piece of moss. He let his eyes face the sky, watching the clouds travel over the blue sea as snowy swirls and puffs.

    She lied her head down and began to snore softly as she fell into her nightmare. Silverlight ran towards her wailing kit. She made it to the clearing and saw blood everywhere. She frantically looked around for her daughter, Violetpaw. Instead of finding her she found Birchheart's limp body. She ran up beside him and began to lick his face rapidly trying to wake him up until she realized he was gone. She heard a snarl as she turned around to see Foxfang giving a killing bite to Violetpaw. She lunged at the murderous tom, but he pinned her almost instantly. She wailed as she watched her kit collapse and die. "Watch your loved ones die," Foxfang whispered in her ear, " Now you will know my pain, Because of you I've been disgraced." She struggled to free herself from his grip. "So are you going to kill me too," she asked bitterly. She heard laughter then Foxfang said, "It would be less painful for you and this way I can get away free." She growled at him. "They'll never believe you," she snarled, "They'll exile you for murder." She heard the laughter ring in her ear as she returned to consciousness.

    Thunder turned his attention over to Silverlight, noticing her quivering body. He could easily tell her dream turned into a terrifying nightmare. He gave her flank a few gentle nudges. "Hey, hey.....You okay?" He meowed with concern.

    She began to wail as she woke up. She looked around realizing that the nightmare was over. She put lowered her head and cried softly. The pain had been too real. She felt as if a horrible wound had just reopened. She hated Foxfang; she knew she could never forgive him.

    Thunder sighed and laid down beside her, rasping his tongue over her ear comfortingly. He never really knew what it was like to lose a loved one, because no one had loved him. She must feel terrible..

    She felt Thunder beside her. "Go away," she said through sobs. She cared for him and didn't want to be an imposistion (burden). She also didn't want to love him just to be betrayed. She couldn't bear for a repeat of that terrible incident.

    Thunder sighed. "You don't have to love me, I don't care if you keep it all up inside. I just don't want you to hurt yourself..." He replied softly, then stood up and laid down under the shade of a nearby tree.

    She sighed and stopped sobbing for a moment. "I don't think I could hurt myself," she said softly, "I have nothing left to lose." She thought about running and starting a new life, one where this all just became no more than a nightmare. Alas, she knew this would never be; she could never disregard all that Foxfang had done to her.

    Thunder dropped his head on his paws, glancing around while he knew where she lay. The sun shone brightly through the leaves of the tree he made himself comfortable under. This is a beautiful world we live in, so why is it full of such cruel beings?

    She looked at him. "Why do you even care about me," she asked. Tears began to fall once again. "I'm nothing but trouble," she said quietly. She thought about Birchheart-if he was alive everything would be better, or Violetpaw, her beloved kit.

    "Because everyone deserves to happy." Thunder answered simply, letting his tail lift then fall back onto the ground. "And, this might not help, but I heard someone say that you shouldn't cry that the joyful moments are over. Just be happy that they happened." He meowed, looking at his paws.

    "What joyful moments," she said, "My life has been filled with suffering." She thought about everyone she had ever cared for, and how they were gone is some way. Everyone except for Thunder. Thunder was here, and he would never betray her.

    "No, just forget about the dying for a moment. I'm sure you enjoyed your time with Birchheart? Violetpaw? Those joyful moments." Thunder explained, still gazing at the grass that was pressed down against the ground by the swift breeze.

    "Hardly," she said, "I had a hard kitting, I hardly ever saw Violetpaw because she was always getting sick or hurt, and I was mates with Birchheart for less than a moon." She sighed. "I never got a chance to tell them how much I loved them," she said quietly.

    "...I see." Thunder replied, his face held no emotion when he spoke. "Silverlight, if you loved them so much, they would know. I can see it in your eyes, how much pain it took to love them. And I know it's hard to let them go to, and I'm not rushing you, but you'll need to move on someday. Protest against me all you want, but at least think about that." He meowed softly, his head laying on his paws.

    She shook her head and looked down. "You don't even try to understand," she said quietly. She sighed. "I thought you cared," she barely managed to say. She stood up. "I'll be going now," she said, I'm obviously just a burden."

    Thunder wanted hold in the surge of anger as he turned to her. "I DO care, and I'm TRYING to understand! You're NOT a burden!" His voice raised a bit, then it calmed down. "But if you want the leave, I'm not gonna stop you..." He breathed, looking back at his paws with sadness reflecting in his eyes. He started feel a bit hopeless, and ashamed that he couldn't get the she-cat to change her mind, at all.