Tawnykit/paw/spots of thunderclan

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  • Character Name:
    Tawnykit/paw/spots
    Character Age:
    not born yet
    Gender:
    Tom
    Alliance:
    Thunderclan
    Rank:
    Kit, to apprentice, to warrior
    Appearance (6 or more sentences):
    Tawnykit is a large, sleek, bulky, broad shouldered, muscular, hansome, light grey ragged tabby tom with a averge amount of fur. Tufted ears, long whiskers,an avarge sized, normal tail. He has sharp amber eyes, with sharp, long claws, jagged sharp teeth. He has massive sized paws, his tabby stripes are thin. Later on in his life he will have a nicked left ear and claw marks on his right shoulder, also claw marks on his underbelly, and he'll have long claw mark from his left leg to his right ear, also he'll have one small clawmark on his right ear.
    Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):
    Tawnykit is a very easy angered tom, he rarly cares about what his clanmates think of him and he defently does not care about how the other clans think of him. He loves the warrior code and feels it should be always respected, except in some matters like if you and a cat from a different clan are in love only if it don't effect if they have to battle each other. He always listens to what the leader says , he'll never has to be asked twice. Allthough he is angry, he is very caring toward other cats as long they show him respect, he loves kits and in his spare time he loves to play with them. He has a loud mouth, meaning he thinks with his mouth not his brain. He is loving to his familiy and only they know, because he has a tough repition.
    ---Likes (at least 3):Fighting his enemys, playing with kits and being with his future mate Honeypelt
    --- Dislikes (at least 3):Disrespectful cats, wining cats, and his enemys
    ---Strengths (No MORE than 5):Fighting, hunting, running for long distances, stalking prey, and sometime his rage will help him.
    ---Weaknesses (At least 3): To caring, his temper, and his loud mouth


    History (8 or more sentences):
    Has he grew up he would always follow Honeykit, and play with her,they would always talk about the warrior code, how they thought of the other clans. But a few moons went buy he started to fall in love with his best friend Honeykit, he started having dreams of being with her in the future, of him and her watching their kits paly together. As they grew to 'paws he started catching prey for her, and always eating together, but as the moons went on he started to see she was getting a little crush on him, he notice she was always going with him, she was always close to him, and showing him what she caught everytime. After they came warriors she had got a lot closer and he was liking it, they where sleeping close together in the warriors den, so about a moon later he asked her if she liked him and she answered "yes", "and do you like me too", he answered "yes". A moon later after that she said to him "I'am pregent with your kits", he was so happy, he and her told every cat. Three moons went by and his dream of being with her and watching their kits came true.
    Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):
    Tawnykit pounced a peice of moss around with Honeykit.
    Comments (optional):
    Sorry if the roleplay was bad .

  • Putting 'WIP' in the title, edit out and 'bump' when you are finished. ;-)

  • Hello there! :)


    Your bio is looking great, but there are a few things that need fixing. :)


    - You have a few run-ons in your bio. :)


    - You're missing a few sentences in your personality and appearance.


    - You have a few grammar errors throughout you bio. :)


    Please edit and bump! :)



  • OK can you tell me the run-ons, sorry about that but I get in trouble about that in LA, for some reason I can't stop it. Also did you like my history


  • OK can you tell me the run-ons, sorry about that but I get in trouble about that in LA, for some reason I can't stop it. Also did you like my history


    I'm afraid I can't tell you where the run-ons are. :) If you're ready for advanced, you should be able to do it. :)


    Please edit and bump! :)


  • Bump


  • Hi there! I'm lime! Your bio is looking better, however, there are still some things that can be improved :)


    - You have a few sentence fragments
    - You have a few run-on sentences :)
    - There are a few spelling mistakes
    - The advanced section requires full, long posts. Could you lengthen your roleplay sample please? :D


    Bump when you're done so I or another staff member can see it! :)