Darkpelt of Auroraclan!!!

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    Character Name:Darkpelt


    Character Age: 15 Moons


    Gender: Tom


    Alliance: Auroraclan


    Rank: Warrior


    Appearance (6 or more sentences): He's a Dark gray tom with glimmering blue eyes and a white splash on his chest. He has long-legs and has a long,white tipped,thick tail. He is short fured and has white ear tips. He's is skinny and he has short claws and he has white paws.He has a scar across his left eye. He has a wrenched claw on his right paw.


    Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):He's kind,friendly and will only battle if nessesary. He has a good long temper.He can be sneaky and he will speak up if he needs to.He's loyal and will always follow the warrior code.He can swim and enjoys the water.He likes to play with kits.
    ---Likes (at least 3): Peace and quiet, water and trees.
    --- Dislikes (at least 3): Noisy cats and small spaces and sometimes kits.
    ---Strengths (No MORE than 5): Good in battle, great hunter and good at camouflaging.
    ---Weaknesses (At least 3): Pretty she-cats and and catmint and water.


    History (8 or more sentences): His mother died when she was attacked by a fox.His evil father miraculously disappeared. His brother Is Foxleap, he died in a battle. His sister Blossomkit died in a snowstorm and he has been by himself ever since. He was attacked by a fox when he was a kit.He was from windclan but then he moved to auroraclan. He once went to the gathering before. He once got lost in twoleg place.



    Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):Darkpelt gracefully jumped down from a rock and he spotted a mouse. He carefully pin pointed where it was and dropped into a crouch. He slowly brought himself up and he pounced and killed it cleanly.He felt his ear burn with happiness, then he scratched soil over his prey and padded over to the river. He gazed down in it, his reflection clear in the water. He dabbed a paw in the river and he headed back into the undergrowth. He dug up the prey and he brought it back to camp and dropped it on the fresh kill pile.


    Comments (optional): PLEASE LET ME IN!!! I'M TOTALLY DESPERATE!!!


    Hi Nightclaw, some things need to be edited here before approval.


    -You need 6 full sentences in appearance and personality
    -You need 3 each in likes/dislikes/strengths/weaknesses
    -You need eight full sentences in history
    -Your RP sample needs to be a LOT longer
    -Most of your sentences are incomplete fragments


    Please make these changes and bump this when you're done.

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Swiftylicious ().

    Looking a lot better^^
    Just have a couple more edits you need to do
    >stil capitalizing a couple of random words
    >spacing problems [ex: forest,sand instead of forest, sand]
    >couple of choppy sentences


    Give a bump when you're done c:


    Accepted!