MUDLE {the advanced bio}

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    Character Name: Mudle


    Character Age: 18 moons


    Gender: tom


    Alliance: loner


    Rank: ---he is a loner---


    Appearance (6 or more sentences): Mudle is a turkish van cat with firey orange and snow white fur that glimmers in the sun light. His fur is orange tabby-ticked so that it looks like flames. He also has aqua colored eyes that are clearer than the clearest water. Mudle still wears his burgundy kitty-pet collar even though he is a loner now. He is a traveling cat so his paws are very dirty from walking through mud, burs, and other unpleasent things. Mudle has a little tear in one ear from the time he tried to jump the garden fence.


    Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements): Mudle is a very nice person and likes to help when ever he can. He mostly helps other cats whenever he gets the chance, which isn't that often since he doesn't live near other cats any more. Mudle is also very funny and likes jokes. He likes to tell jokes to and occasionally pull pranks on his friends. Mudle is an optimistic cat and likes to look on the brightside. He sometimes finds this hard because some situations are so grim that there is no brightside.
    ---Likes (at least 3): --other cats
    --pulling pranks
    --Making other people/ cats laugh
    --- Dislikes (at least 3): --pessimistic cats/ people
    --mean pranks
    --bullies
    ---Strengths (No MORE than 5): --runs fast
    --good climber
    --good friend
    ---Weaknesses (At least 3): --bad swimmer
    --bad fighter
    --bad at being mean


    History (8 or more sentences): Mudle used to live with his twolegs, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. They took very good care of him and sometimes even pampered him. One day, Mr. Smith let him outside to play, so mudle decided to go for a walk. He walked very far and didn't know where he was. He decideed that he was no longer a kitty-pet so he would become, Mudle!, the wandering kittypet!. Mudle enjoyed his new life, no rules, better food, more friends. Mudle soon declared, "I am going to stay like this forever!" and so began mudle's new life, as a loner.


    Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio): Mudle sluggishly walked out of his den. It was early morning and mudle was very tired. He didn't get very much sleep last night because some rogues were throwing a party. "I try to be optimistic but this has gone to far!" he said to himself. Mudle walked over to one of the rogues, "what do you want" he said. "STOP!!!!!!!" Mudle screamed in his ear. The rogues ran away as fast as they could, tails between their legs. "Finally, some sleep..." Mudle said as he said as he curled up and fell asleep.
    ~The end~


    Comments (optional):

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Mudle ().

    [font=georgia]You have some choppy sentances that could be longer. Also, you don't need to put periods after punctuation marks.


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    This is looking better, but I'm seeing a few punctuation errors. Could you go through and fix those?
    As well, you need to remember to capitalize sentences that are inside quotation marks like you do with ones that are not. Please fix anywhere that you haven't. :)


    Okay, I'm really sorry, but this just isn't up to advanced standards.
    Advanced roleplaying requires full, proper sentences, correct spelling, correct punctuation, and correct grammar. It requires that you be more descriptive and write longer rps than normal roleplaying does.
    I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to deny this.
    Please remember that you ca try again anytime, and I encourage you too. But for right now, I think you're better off in the regular boards.


    --I'm locking this thread. If you have any questions or concerns, please PM me. :)