BURNED ¤¤ open && smoking

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  • Debiru and Jason had just had thier first fight. Even if it had mostly been Jason who had been scolding Debiru while he just had stood there taking it all. Jason had been upset with him for not being like he used to have been, for wanting to return back to the cartel to let Ghoulian know he was alive. The panther hadn't liked that and some mean things had left the panthers mouth back in the den. Jason had been the one to first storm out from the Celestial knights den with a pissed of look before the panther had taken out his wings to lift up to the sky to disappear who knows where. Debiru had left a little while later to fly of as well to take himself down to one of the lakes to seat himself down there to look into his own reflection down there in the mirror. All he saw was a ghost of who he used to have been, a man he no longer could recognize. Debiru didn't think Jason had all wrong for behaving the way he had, and he would think back on it.


    Jason had entered his den, founding him seating there crying. He had tried to comfort them and the two had ended up kissing for the first time. What should have been a cherished kiss had just made him feel numb inside yet even so he had welcomed it, accepting it because maybe that kiss could make him stop thinking about everything else. Once they had finished kissing Debiru had started saying he needed to see Ghoulian and maybe that had been a bit harsh of him to say. Maybe that was why Jason had got so pissed for tramping on his feelings like that. " What do you mean you need to see him?!, you have me. You're finally home Debby, i won't let you leave my side again!." Jason had protested, and Debiru had tried to explain he had to because he couldn't let Ghoulian think he was dead and that Ghoulian not had anyone else in his life right now aside from him. Ghoul needed him so there was not way he was going to abandon him. Jason hadn't wanted to listen, growing more furious and it was the first time Deb had seen a different side of Jason. " Fine!! do whatever the fuck you want!, but don't expect me to be here when you come back!. I'm done with your little 'feel sorry for me' shitshow!!." Had been the last words before Jason had stormed out, leaving Debiru there behind in the cold and darkness.


    Debiru would fish something out from one of his bags, and it was a cigarette and a lighter he brought out, and it had belonged to Jason. Debiru was planning to give the lighter back if he got a chance for it anyway. He had smoked once more, back in the exiles Val had given a cig to him which had been a unpleasant experience and something many had been shooked with to see. How could someone as sweet and nice like him do something as bad like this, right?. That was what they thoughts for sure. Everyone excepted him to be a certain way, to always behave and be so good all of the time, but what if he didn't wanted to be that anymore?. What if he wanted to ruin his lungs and do something bad for once?. What would they all think about that?. To see thier pretty little doll posion themself like this?. Would that make them sad?, would that make them feel bad?. Would that disappoint them?. For almost three years he had cared to much about others opinions on him, to get judged and be thought of a certain way. Always smile and be good and everyone will like you. Never take place, never complain, never speak your mind, always forgive and understand, never do anything that would displease anyone. Just seat there smiling and break apart in silence, it will be fine. But the truth was it didn't matter, if he smiled or didn't. People ended up leaving him anyway, he always ended up doing something wrong or he simple wasn't there when his friends needed him the most.


    Breakout was dead and it was all his fault because he hadn't been there, because he had not said anything and just keept his mouth shut!.


    So who cared about this stupied little cigarette. Who cared about anything. The good or the bad. There was nothing he could do to change anything. It wouldn't matter if he was here or not. No one cared to even try to change themself anyway. They all only cared about this violence to keep on hurting each other and leave thier victims all dry and torn. Debiru was sick and tired of it. For people to take advantage of his kindness, to use him and then throw him aside when they where done with him. He was tired of being the victim. To always be the good little boy.


    Debiru would light the damn thing before putting the cigarette inside of his mouth to take the first blow from it. Of course he coughted a bit on the first two attempts but he just keept on going and it felt nice smoking it, to breath in the smoke and feel the scent. It made him think about Sollux and Breakout who both had smoked, how they always had stank with cigarette smoke. Debiru closed his eyes as he contunie to puff on the cigarette to spread the smoke around his face. It almost felt like they where here with him or he could pretend anyway which was a bit comforting. He missed them, both of them. If only people like Crimson,Leviathan and Mr Kuromiya not existed in this world. If only this sort of people could perish from this world. People like them didn't deserve to be forgiven, didn't deserve happiness. It was because of people like them victims such like Breakout had suffered so much in life until it had broke them. Debiru wished they could all just die.


    The world would be a such better place without them.

    REMEMBER MY HEART HOW BRIGHT I USED TO SHINE.

    ( winged kooiker | ☾ | tags | ☽ | coven of elysia )

    The post was edited 1 time, last by DEBIRU ().

  • "A smoker, huh?" The mixed canine had come seemingly out of nowhere, having noticed Debiru light a cigarette. Davis had a habit of intruding on others' business, even if they didn't necessarily look like they wanted to stop and chat. He simply made observations about people and liked to voice his opinions and thoughts. If someone wanted to be left alone then he would respect their wishes, but Davis saw no problem in striking up a conversation if he had nothing else to do.


    Davis kept a comfortable distance between him and his acquaintance, casually leaning against a nearby rock. "Tried it a few times. That stuff will ruin your lungs, though." Of course he had gotten his paws on a pack of cigarettes when he was a teenager. He and his brothers had spent a while trying to figure out the correct way to smoke. As much as Davis tried to make himself like it, he just found that his lungs and throat burned after every puff. Not a very enjoyable feeling.


    As far as coping mechanisms went, Davis was more of a traditional guy. "Booze is more of my thing." He shrugged. The canine did not drink as much as he used to (because he didn't have to try to look cool anymore) but once in a while he'll treat himself.

    ☾・゚. ——— I'M REACHING FOR THE HEIGHTS

    AND CHASING ALL THE LIGHTS THAT SHINE

    davis | storage & tags | reference | coven of elysia

  • "mmm... then your gut is ruined," meowed temperance simply, padding nearby at the strange wiffs of smoke. how funny. commenting on how one mechanism destroyed a certain organ yet indulged in another poison. she pointed her gaze to debiru; someone seemed to be struggling but she couldn't bring herself to care. she loathed types like him, it annoyed her to be around him.


    she should just leave and never look back.


    // ic opinions!!


    [ ❦ ❦ tags ❦ ❦ ]

  • ✦ ✧ ✦ Aphrodite didn't know much about the world of drugs and alcohol. The only time she'd ever tasted alcohol was the few times that Asimov came by with cherry wine. She approaches Debiru, sitting down beside him, a look of worry in her eyes. Since when did Debiru smoke? She'd never seen him smoking before, not that she could remember. "Are you alright, Deb?"

    I'LL HOLD YOU TILL YOUR LUNGS START BREAKING

    Aphrodite Seraphinus Keyper ☆ Polaris & Heavenly Healer of Elysia ☆ Winged Jagupardess Hybrid ☆ penned by drea

    Kady x Gabriel | tags

  • Ivan abstained from such things and avoided them like the plague so religiously, one might take him to be a conventionalist. It was far from the truth, of course. It actually had roots in his ego and self-absorption. He always thought of himself to be better than anyone lower than him. People who relied on such methods were loathsome to him. It was a waste of talent, at least in his stead. It was the same reaction given when he found Video drunk, but this was a bit different because he had limited experience with smokers.


    Though, as like what happened with Video, Ivan was privately discouraged that he had to find another person he liked somewhat to be falling into such vices. But neither were alcoholics and this seemed to be a first time for Debiru. Would it become regular? Ivan never liked to intrude on other's. It wasn't his morality at stake. So what if some people wanted to waste their lives like that? What difference could he make? Ivan would have liked to give into such things himself.


    He pricked his ears at Aphrodite's attempt to probe and he listened quietly from afar to hear their voices but not fully enter in a conversation. It wasn't his.


    tags

    HOW CAN YOU LIVE? HOW CAN YOU LOVE?

    IS IT POSSIBLE WITH SUCH HELL IN YOUR HEART?

    ivan roux "ee-VAHN" | young-adult oriental maine coon [x] | Felibri


  • " Not really." He would answer Davis since he wouldn't exactly say he was a smoker since this was just his second time trying it. Debiru had just wanted to numb down his grief with and Breakout had always told him how smoking helpt with his stress and sometimes made him feel better. Alcohol was an other option he suppose but he had never really liked the taste of it or had any on him at the moment. But he guess the real reason to why he had picked up a cigarette was because it made him feel closer to his dead friend Breakout. It was a way to escape reality for a little bit and pretend he was still here. Breathing in that toxic posion keept his friend briefly beside him still. Debiru didn't take an other blow though now when people had started to crowd themself around him now. It made him wonder what they thought since no one had yet told him thier disappointment of seeing him doing something as self-destructive like this.


    " It dosen't m-matter..i will j-just come back again." he would answer Davis again looking unfazed with the consequences of smoking. It was the truth after all if he destroyed this body would just get forced into a new one if he died. He couldn't die so why fear death for then?. Debiru was in a very dark mindset at the moment and not even once had he looked over at anyone of them just staring at the cigarette which was burning still. Tem was making a good point though, that alcohol where just as deadly as cigarettes was.


    But then Aphy come down to seat down beside him asking him a such unecessery thing. If he was alright. Funny that they asked him that now, wasn't it?. Debiru would just contunie on to stare at stick looking object, his gaze so distant and so far away. " Breakout u-used to smoke...i just w-wanted a moment w-with him.. that's all..." he said with sorrow. Why?, why did he had to die for?. Breakout had meant more to this world then he ever would. If he could Debiru wouldn't mind to swap place with him to be the one laying at the bottom of that sea instead. Breakout had left so much behind. It was just unfair that he was gone.

    REMEMBER MY HEART HOW BRIGHT I USED TO SHINE.

    ( winged kooiker | ☾ | tags | ☽ | coven of elysia )

  • Video knew the experience of feeling babied, hopeless and limited. too many expectations, too much pain. A final, pained argument. Blame, and an ache. A desire to go against the standards, to drown the pain.

    "Don't think it's healthy, to be so careless about your own death..s.." Video blinks tiredly at him, figure hunched over and tired, bleary. There's a sense of worry to him, awkwardly shown. "Wh'happened? 's this just about him?" He tilts his head, ears awkwardly flopping with the movement of his head. It's worrying. He doesn't want Debiru to hurt, or to hurt himself. He just.. He's not .. sure ..

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    *:・゚✦ — THERE'S MORE WOOD TO BURN

  • ✦ ✧ ✦ Loss. Is that what this was about? Aphrodite looks to Debiru with worrisome eyes, scooting herself closer to his side. "It's okay. ." She says softly, trying to console him. "I understand you're trying to be . . closer to him." She says. She hardly remembers Breakout, if she was being honest. "But do you think he'd want to see you smoking like this? Wouldn't he want the best for you?"

    I'LL HOLD YOU TILL YOUR LUNGS START BREAKING

    Aphrodite Seraphinus Keyper ☆ Polaris & Heavenly Healer of Elysia ☆ Winged Jagupardess Hybrid ☆ penned by drea

    Kady x Gabriel | tags