losing my mind - (p)

leigh couldn't help but laugh. his mind was twisted in a way that, in the current moment, he already began to forget what had happened. he forgot the way the memory had made him feel. of course, it was a good thing he said the name out loud to draco, because he soon forgot the name entirely. walking closer towards the town, leigh hummed softly. not hungry? that was fine! leigh didn't care. honestly, now that draco had his answers, he didn't have to stick around until leigh wanted his payment. and yet? draco was still following. he was still walking after leigh. that fact alone made leigh's ego skyrocket past the heavens themselves. running his pointed tongue over his sharp teeth, leigh chuckled darkly. "you talk so much shit about me, but you sure like to hang around, huh? you're hungry? then why you still following me? i was gonna eat and get my payment later tonight, but it almost seems like you wanna give it to me right now~ is that it?" leigh stopped, turning around and grinned at draco. "and i'll call you whatever the fuck i wanna call you. you didn't seem to mind when i was fucking you~"

the exile tilted his head, a slow grin creeping across his face. oh, yeah? was that how it was? draco thought that once he gave leigh his payment, they'd never see each other again? oh, no, no. that simply wouldn't do. leigh was strapped in this for the long run, and he was comfortable. it didn't seem draco was strapped in yet, though, so it was going to be a bumpy ride. this was all metaphorical, of course. it made sense to the god and he was rather proud of himself for coming up with it! "eh? is that so? so, now that you know what you have to do to learn about yourself and control your powers, and possibly even return to a human again, you think you can do that by yourself? you talk to anyone about 'boreal the dragon king' and they'll laugh in your fucking face. nobody believes in that shit. if you keep going on and on about him, they might lock you away and say you're crazy." leigh knew that one all too well. too many times had he found himself being burned at the stake or subjected to 'shock therapy' for his 'delusions'. they weren't delusions, and electrocuting someone wasn't a form of therapy. it was torture. legal torture, unfortunately. stopping in front of draco and leaning down so their noses almost touched, leigh's eyes widened with an excited look. "face it, draco. you're stuck with me for the entirely of the unforseeable future. you won't get rid of me until you have all the answers you need. that could be weeks. months. years! and i'm so excited about that." the boy hissed out a chuckle before standing up and waving his hand dismissively. "i got some shit to take care of. go do whatever you want. i'll find you later."

leigh sat in the principal's office, looking at the paintings on the walls with boredom. so, apparently, smoking weed in the bathroom and drinking everclear in a water bottle was inappropriate. he listened to the principal and the secretary outside the office, talking to police officers. since leigh was "underage", law enforcement had to be called for the alcohol. the drugs too, but he was more upset about his confiscated booze. staring at a picture of a duck, leigh blinked slowly and focused on what they were saying. "you have to talk to his parents! he's beyond troubled! ever since he transferred, he's been nothing but an absolute pain!" the principal sounded desperate. it was true, honestly. there was never a day where leigh didn't cause some trouble, whether it was skipping, fighting, attitude, or just general asshole-ish. the officer seemed to agree, and the door to the office was opened. "come on. let's go get your stuff from your class." the officer stated. leigh grinned and stood up. these boys were in for a treat.

walking behind the officer and the principal, the door to the classroom was opened and leigh slipped in, as confident as ever. people stared at him and whispered, but they could blow him. he didn't care. the boy grabbed his backpack, glancing at draco with a hungry smirk. "leigh, we still need your parents' numbers so we can contact them." the principal said, puffing his chest out slightly. leigh was taller than the man, and it seemed that it made him feel insuperior. as he should. everyone was below leigh. he was a god. "hmm? my what now?" leigh hummed, slipping his backpack over his shoulders again. "u-uh... mr. jameson," the teacher butted in, "leigh doesn't have any parents. they... disappeared..." the teacher seemed to cast a glance at the red eyed boy, as if she knew something. nobody could prove that leigh murdered his parents, but it seemed like the people who knew the full story knew exactly what happened to them.

this seemed to startle the principal. the officer made a point to grab leigh's backpack from his shoulders, which made the boy scoff. of course he would confiscate leigh's backpack. oh well. there wasn't anything in there. the adults exchanged a few quick words before the police officer ushered leigh out of the classroom again. when the door was shut, the police officer cleared his throat. "all right, turn around, hands behind your back. you're under arrest for public intoxication and underage possession." the officer held out his handcuffs with one hand, another hand on his gun. leigh scoffed. the exile raised a hand, tapping the guard on the temple quickly. "seems you have the wrong guy." the boy mumbled. the officer's eyes rolled back in his head. "i. have. the. wrong. guy." the officer's words were forced, clearly not his own. waving his hand dismissively, leigh chuckled, digging around in his backpack for his pack of cigarettes as he wandered out. he stayed close to the campus, though, as he wanted to wait for draco. flicking his lighter, leigh took a deep drag of his cigarette, climbing up in to a tree to avoid being seen by anyone else.

// couldn't think of how i wanted to start this lil timeskip so here's a dumb blurb ily <3

the day was peaceful. there was a nice, gentle breeze that kept him cool enough that he didn't mind the warm sun on his skin. speaking of his skin, leigh was looking at it. his arms, specifically. the skin was pale, but not too pale, and absolutely littered with scars. burn marks, cuts, stab wounds, everything. though, the scars were such a light, gentle pink, that you'd really have to be looking at him closely to see it. as leigh surveyed the scars, he found his face dropping its signature emotionless appearance to take on a softer, almost sadder tone. every scar was a memory that he could still feel, constantly. perhaps it wasn't the thousands of years he had spent in eternal darkness that drove him this insane. perhaps it was just the constant, excruciating pain he was in. so badly, leigh wished he could stop hurting. he wished he could remember that place, the place with the flowers on the mountains. the place where he wore silken robes and walked on grass softer than anything found on earth. the exile didn't even notice that his cigarette had burned down to the filter, the ash falling down below to the yellowy, ugly grass below him. compared to the visions of his home, earth was garbage. an ugly, awful, dull place.

hearing draco's voice, leigh stopped looking at his skin, peering down to watch draco climb up the tree with the grace of a damned squirrel. interesting! there was a weird feeling in leigh's head. he felt fuzzy. warm. safe. content. he could hear draco's speaking, and although his words were a bit bitter and obviously annoyed, they sounded soft in the god's ears. like a wind chime twinkling and ringing in a soft breeze. leigh couldn't tell, but he wasn't himself. in fact, leigh had completely blacked out. draco was looking at a completely different person currently. when draco brought his face close to leigh's, the older boy brought his hands up. with a tenderness that leigh hadn't had in millions, billions, of years, the boy placed his hands on draco's face, his head tilting gently. "you're so lovely..." even leigh's voice was different. it was softer. gentler. not waiting for a response, the elder pressed their lips together softly. the kiss was gentle and sweet, seeming to go on forever.

until, of course, leigh's fingernails began to dig in to draco's face. the kiss grew rougher, much rougher, and the taller boy growled into the other's mouth like an animal. "well, well, well. skipping class to come make out with me? that's fucking hot~"

// lmao whuddup avi

seeing draco's pupils slit, leigh tilted his head. it was interesting. this was something he had never seen with draco. speaking of which, when the hell did draco get here? one minute, leigh was smoking a cigarette, and the next draco was in the tree with him, panting from the kiss. the lapse in leigh's memory made the boy frown slightly as he listened to draco and watched him freak out a bit. sliding his tongue over his lips, leigh's eyebrows furrowed. "fuck are you talking about? didn't you kiss me?" leigh growled, his head tilting to the other side. he watched the wounds on his face heal, wishing that draco didn't have such a good healing factor so he could enjoy the injuries on the other a bit more. what was the point in marking someone as yours if they didn't stay marked? leigh would just have to give him lots and lots of marks, quite frequently. that seemed like fun. leaning against the trunk of the tree, leigh's signature emotionless eyes and cocky smirk were plastered back on his face. "you look really upset, baby. are you annoyed that i pulled away? i'm not super big in to kissing. feels too romantic to me, but i'll do it occasionally. if it makes you moan, i'll do it~"

draco seemed to know something that leigh didn't, and that pissed the older boy off. he didn't like not knowing something. and with a random lapse in his memory that draco didn't seem to want to explain truthfully? oh, that made his blood boil. biting on his tongue hard enough to pierce the skin, leigh watched draco jump off the tree. plans today? ah. so draco wanted to spend some more time with leigh. the elder wasn't sure when draco got here, but he supposed it didn't matter. dropping down next to draco, leigh brushed some bark and dirt off of his pants before looking at the smaller male. ruby red eyes stared at draco fora few seconds before leigh raised his hand and slapped draco across the face. hard. if draco was a normal person, it would have snapped his neck and killed him. the red hand print looked much better when he dud it, rather than his shitty excuse of a dad. narrowing his eyes, leigh linked his fingers behind his head and began walking towards his house. "you're so full of shit. but whatever. i wouldn't recommend getting into the habit of lying to me. i don't like liars. anyway, i've got a bunch of books and journals that i think i wrote at my house. we'll go take a look at those first, yeah? you can blow me while i look through them, since you wanna be such a bitch right now."

watching draco take the lead and begin walking, leigh couldn't help but smirk. draco was interesting. good lord was draco interesting. licking his lips, the god followed after draco, chuckling softly to himself. a collar? well, that could be arranged. if that was all it took to call draco his, then leigh could do that rather easily. "yeah? what color do you want your collar to be then? studded? you want a leash too? ooh, baby~! you'd look so fucking hot!" was he being more of an asshole than he needed to be? yes. would he stop? no. draco seemed to know what leigh was like at this point. honestly? leigh made it his mission to annoy the other male. it seemed to keep draco entertained and interested. the god didn't know why he wanted draco to be interested in him, but he did.

as they reached leigh's house, the older male pushed the door open. he didn't ever bother locking his door. he only had furniture in his house, and even then it wasn't a lot. a bed in this room, a dresser in that room, a couch in the that room. it was boring. it was clear the boy was usually not home. his house was spotless, not a speck of garbage anywhere, though the tops of a lot of stuff were covered in a layer of dust. everything but his bed. wandering into the study room, leigh began skimming through his collection of books. he used to love reading, though he hadn't done it for quite some time. finding four books that were much older than the rest, leigh pulled them out and set them on a table.

opening them up, leigh's crimson eyes gazed over the ancient pages. it was his handwriting alright, but they were each in different languages. each language no longer known or spoken. "damn. it's been a long time since i've seen these languages..." he was talking to himself, of course. he let draco just kind of do what he wanted. looking between all the books, leigh shook his head softly. each of the books were easily 2000 pages. it would take a while to read through them. especially with leigh being the only one that could read them. "these languages haven't existed for millions of years. the books are enchanted, which is why they've survived for so long. it's gonna take me at least a week to sort through all these, they're fucking huge... i must have gone through quite the writer phase when i was younger... do you want to take these back to your house? do you want me to just read these on my own? do you want to stay here? what?"

listening to the conversation on the phone, leigh couldn't help but narrow his crimson eyes a little bit. he always hated that, when parents were pieces of shit. leigh had gone through so many parent that were garbage; that hit him and abused him. some were worse than others. but, abuse was abuse, and leigh hated it. he might be an asshole and a murderer, but he didn't abuse people unless they wanted it. well, if he was going to kill them right after, then he would, but usually? he didn't do that kind of stuff. it was a weird slope that leigh found himself on, and... he didn't like it. he didn't ever want to hurt people, but... it was better than him hurting himself, right? no, it wasn't, but.. he couldn't explain it. when the phone call ended, leigh glanced back at the books before standing up. he was gonna go grab some snacks and drinks (alcohol for himself and sodas and juice for draco if he didn't want to drink). stepping past the younger boy, leigh paused. tenderly, leigh placed a hand on top of draco's head. unlike earlier, this was him. leigh, himself. his eyes were still emotionless for the most part, but they held something behind them. experience. like leigh knew exactly what it felt like. and he did. he knew exactly what draco was going through."my door is always unlocked." it was a simple sentence, but he hoped it meant something to draco. coming from his own troubled homes and past experiences, leigh knew how hard it was to never have anyone to help him. however, unlike him, draco had leigh. leigh never had anyone. leigh never allowed himself to have anyone. stepping out of the room, leigh wandered in to the kitchen, rummaging around.

while leigh was in the kitchen, there was a small, soft scratching sound in the room with draco. from the holes that leigh had made, taking the books from the shelves, came a small shape. a hamster. incredibly small and meek, it was obviously the runt of the litter. the nose twitched rapidly as it sniffed around, before it crawled onto the table that draco sat at. it sniffed at draco's hands and carefully crawled into the boy's palm, snuggling down comfortably. it was undoubtedly an odd pet for someone such as leigh to have. something so small, and gentle, and sweet definitely counteracted against leigh's harsh, violent demeanor.

opening the door, leigh returned, arms full of snacks and beverages. he set the items on the table before glancing at draco's hand. "oh, there you are. draco, mila. mila, draco." leigh grabbed a bag of baby carrots, snapping one in half, then in half again, and placing one of the pieces in draco's palm for mila. mila, like leigh, was immortal. a kind of familiar, it seemed. he had met her back when dragons and magic were way more popular, and he had enchanted her to be able to live forever. it stopped him from going completely, totally, and absolutely insane. sitting down at the table, leigh closed all but one book, flipping to the first page and opening a bottle of rum and a bag of chips. "i don't know if you want me to read this out loud to you, or what. you can find something else to do if you want. oh, and i was thinking while i was in the kitchen~" leigh placed his chin in his palm, a smug smirk on his face. "a collar that said 'leigh's bitch' is kinda boring. i agree. how about one that says 'princess'?"

hearing the other boy talk about a tiara, leigh's eyes lit up in excitement. "yeah?! what about a dress too? oh my god, you'd look so cute!!" the other male sounded like he was joking, though... he wasn't. that was really all he could think about, now. draco in a dress and a tiara and a collar. a leash and some fishnets. maybe some heels... oh god. how was he supposed to focus on anything else? especially when draco began downing that bottle in such a way. biting on the inside of his cheek, leigh hummed, taking another swig of his alcohol as well. he wasn't going to get completely drunk tonight, but... he would. he really wanted to get somewhere with his reading tonight, though. glancing at the pages, leigh tilted his head. ahhh. so it seemed that leigh had written this particular book when he was a god. it spoke of his wings. he hadn't had his wings in... damn. how long had it been? billions of years... it sucked. the one appendage he couldn't ever get back, was the one appendage that he wanted more than anything. oh well. skimming through the pages, leigh's eyes glanced up at draco and mila. she seemed to take a liking to him. that was good. mila didn't usually like anyone but leigh. could draco understand her? that would be nice. she would like someone to talk to. leigh tried to talk to her, but it was hard having a one sided conversation. "you're really downing that booze, baby. you got some plans in mind?"

leigh saw it. the lack of light in draco's eyes. it reminded him of his own eyes. a lot of the times, leigh's head was down and most people couldn't see his eyes, but they were dull. lifeless. they had had the emotion sapped from them long ago. the only time his eyes sparkled was when he was angry, or during his psychotic episodes. leigh couldn't remember the last time his eyes had sparkled for no reason. he must have had lots of emotions before, right? before he was cast out and cursed to live an endless loop of torment. when the sparkle returned to draco's eyes, leigh tilted his gaze back to the book. he was about halfway through. damn. he didn't realize how fast of a reader he was. "not in this one. it's mostly me rambling about having to cut my hair and losing my wings. it does mention a place called 'dragon valley', but..." leigh shrugged, placing his finger on the page. "'he lives there. that piece of shit. he lives in dragon valley. i'll go there one day. one day, when i'm out of this hell. i'll go there and i'll tear him limb from limb for doing this to me. for betraying me. for cursing me and ripping my wings off. he'll regret crossing me. everyone will regret crossing me. i'll burn this world, and the next to the ground and rule it all.'" the male quoted shrugging his shoulders a bit. "i guess i'm mad at someone in the dragon valley. it must be boreal i'm mad at. no idea why, though, i can't remember." leigh slid another bottle of alcohol towards draco, then nodded back towards his large shelves full of books. "make yourself useful and see if there are anymore super old books there. this entire journal is just me whining and bitching. i can't imagine how riveting the other ones are gonna be. i think i've made a journal with a bunch of maps in it. i don't know where it is, though."