behind the dream / open, intro

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    —————— summer dreams ripped at the seams


    // retro to meeting about clanwide move! tw for mentions of abuse!


    "laureldawn."


    even though he received his warrior name nearly two moons ago, the young tom still found himself musing over the syllables. the word felt foreign, almost unnatural, when it rolled off the tip of his tongue. he had a few, embarrassing instances locked away in his memory where he didn't respond to his new name. the warrior blamed his internal turmoil with the excuse that clan names were just supposed to be strange and difficult to grasp in beginning. after all, laurel was confident that he'd get used to it, just like any clanborn cat would.


    but in his heart, laureldawn knew he was lying to himself. he didn't choose to change his name out of loyalty or pride for his clan. he decided to change his name in order to run away from himself and his problems, like the coward he believed himself to be. laureldawn was just a means to an end, a way to kill off lucius—the cat he was terrified of becoming.


    he falsely believed that becoming a full fledged clancat would somehow make him forget about the bruises the plagued his body as a kit, or replace all the cruel words that lingered in his mind with loving ones. maybe all the memories of being thrown or beat would simply vanish when he woke up as someone new. all that pain holding him back from being himself would disappear and then, maybe, when he looked at a handsome tomcat with his pulse racing and heart pounding, he wouldn't hate himself.


    "ah, i'm wasting time," the warrior murmured with a shake of his head and an exasperated chuckle. mid morning sunlight was already flooding into the camp, seeping into the entrance of the warrior's den. "it's nearly sunhigh and i've done nothing but talk to myself..."


    heaving himself to his paws, the tall oriental tom exited the warrior's den, plastering a bright grin on his face, as if to say everything is a-okay with this guy!

    "You okay buddy?" He says this while holding a paw to his face, inspecting his claws as if he were bored. He was bored to be honest. Outside of clan duties he didn't really have friends around. Most of them were dead and missing. Well... He assumed because he didn't really ask anyone what happened to his former apprentices or what happened. Asking that now just seemed silly when Pumpkinstrut went off to the moonstone. It brought him back. When he went to the moonstone to become a medicine cat and receive his clan name. Technically he left the clan without any successors and his rank. It was strange to be honest. He had vast medical knowledge, yet here he was fulfilling the tasks of warriors. From what he heard, the clan only had medicine cat apprentices. They weren't sunflowerpaw and cloudpaw, so he wasn't sure if it was in his place just to storm in the medicine cat den and retake his position. It was far too odd and he had been gone for so long. At the very least, he could help when needed or whenever they asked.


    Anyhow, here he was possibly scaring off a young warrior. It would be lying to say that wasn't his intent. Come on, he had to have a little fun with others! He failed to understand that Laureldawn was going through things. Some very personal things, which wasn't very nice. Without a care in the world he lowered his paw to the ground and gave Laureldawn a smirk. Then, he would make his way to the young warrior and lean against them as he sat and wrap an arm around their neck. "Wanna keep talking to yourself and I listen?" He's teasing them. Poor Laureldawn has become his prey. He tilts his head to face Laureldawn and moves closer to their face, "Or maybe you wanna hear me talk alllll to myself?" Perhaps, it wasn't a good thing that he returned to Thunderclan. A menace he is to the youngsters.

    Laureldawn had a very beautiful name, and Moongleam would not tire of hearing it. So to hear him say it was not a cause of alarm for her. In fact, it was something she overheard in great contentment, ears flickering only slightly from her spot in the shadows, rosy eyes flickering up to him as he murmured words barely carried by the wind. At Ghosteyes' approach, the snow-pelted femme decided she probably should, instead of idly listening to their conversation through a source of boredom. Besides, she quite enjoyed Laureldawn's company for the little amount that she had managed to speak to him.


    Weaving over rather effortlessly, the femme drew up to stand among the pair, giving them a soft smile of greeting, kind eyes lingering upon the two for a moment. "Talking to yourself can be rather therapeutic, actually," she mused, spacey and holding on to the memory of such moments. "I do it a lot!" the girl readily admitted, fictive eyebrows raised. She lived the truth, and that was such- no point in keeping it from them. Clanmates did not keep secrets, after all- at least, she'd been taught.

    —————— summer dreams ripped at the seams


    the sunny grin plastered on his face faded almost instantaneously as laureldawn felt the body of a familar someone press against his fur and an arm coil around his neck. his blue eyes widened in surprise—he hadn't had his personal space invaded by another tom in moons. the young warrior felt his face burn.


    "ghosteyes! hey, buddy, i hate to say it, but you're a little close there," he exclaimed, a huff of nervous laughter escaping his jaws. laureldawn gazed into older warrior's light blue eyes, their faces merely inches from each other.


    ghosteyes was a new, but familar face. laurel had seen the man lounging around, poking fun at younger cats in the clan; he didn't think too much of it until he became the target. by eavesdropping on typical clan gossip, laurel learned a thing or two about the guy. apparently, he saved a girl and knew his medicine. based off of this interaction, laurel added 'no concept of personal space' to the list.


    thankfully, another familiar—and fun—face graced the scene, allowing laureldawn to wriggle out ghosteye's loosened grip. after taking a few steps back to distance himself from the warrior, laurel turned his attention to moongleam, head nodding along with her words.


    "oh! thank you for informing us," he stated brightly with fictional eyebrows raised at her confident exclaimation of "i do it all the time!" laurel tried to stifle a laugh, but failed, causing him to add hastily, "i'm sure you do, moony! ghosteyes, aren't you glad we have her around? i learn something new everyday!"

    Ears perked when he heard Laureldawn call him buddy and tell him that he was a bit too close to them. He tilted his head in confusion and his grip on the younger tom loosened. He was then distracted by Moongleam's presence and waved his paw at her, feeling Laureldawn wriggle themselves out of his grip. No harm done, he'd completely forgotten the fact when he paid mind to Moongleam's words. It didn't surprise him when Moongleam stated she liked talking to herself. From his interactions with her, she just liked to talk endlessly. Not that it was bad or anything, since it was nice to have some background noise. Silence was unnerving. He needed some type of sound in order to get by. Laureldawn seemed to be quite happy at Moongleam's presence. Although, he couldn't help but laugh when Laureldawn asked him if he was glad for Moongleam's presence. You sound like a little kit being this excited. Still, he couldn't himself from puffing out his chest and looking at Moongleam with a smirk, "I could've told you that! Don'tcha know Laurel, I was the medicine cat way back." No disrespect to Moongleam. He's just trying to joke with them.


    Then, he lays down, paws under his chin as he smiles at Moongleam. "But I sure am glad to have you Moony. You can teach me new things any day," he cheekily adds. Ah, there he goes with his bad habits again. Oh well, it's not like he's doing anything extremely out of line. Out of nowhere he bursts laughing, "So are we the therapy crew now? Who wants to go first?" He doesn't expect either of them to start rambling about their problems at all. If they do, he'd be thrown for a loop and feel bad. Considering they're near the entrance of the warriors den and no one could stop another cat from spreading news of someone's personal life.


    ✦ ✧ ✦

    Shadepaw had been lounging about near the middle of the camp, subtly eyeing the growing group of warriors outside of the warriors den. That was where he would be sleeping in about a moon, provided that he passed his warrior's assessment and didn't manage to get into any trouble by then. He was looking forward to becoming a warrior, though deep down, he feared that perhaps he didn't entirely deserve it. He hadn't been the greatest cat so far in his life, and considering his attitude was rather poor, he wondered whether he was necessarily grown up enough to become a warrior.


    Pushing any doubtful thoughts away, the charcoal furred male rose to his paws, heading over to the group of warriors. He wasn't nervous about approaching them, for he didn't believe that there was any reason for apprentices to necessarily respect warriors. Just because warriors were older than apprentices didn't mean that they were superior to them in any way. Besides, I've seen plenty of idiotic warriors, and I don't see why they would be worthy of my respect. The thought also crossed his mind that Laureldawn was only thirteen moons of age, meaning that he was only two moons older than Shadepaw. A fancy warrior name didn't make Laureldawn 'more important' or 'more mature' and he certainly didn't intend on treating him, or any of these warriors for that matter, as his superiors.


    The ebony furred tom had managed to catch on to the end of their conversation, with Ghosteyes mentioning a 'therapy crew' of some sort. It certainly sounded like a joke - then again, from the little that he knew of Ghosteyes, most things sounded like a joke when coming out of the older warrior's mouth.


    Honestly though, a therapy crew might do ThunderClan some good. I'm sure at least half of us need it.


    The short haired male settled down next to Laureldawn, though he kept a short distance between the two of them. While Shadepaw personally loved physical contact, he had noticed Laureldawn's discomfort when Ghosteyes had gotten close to him from where he had been watching, and he didn't intend on making Laureldawn uncomfortable. Sure, Shadepaw was an asshole, but there was no way he was going to make Laureldawn feel uneasy. He respected that some cats preferred having their own personal space, and honestly, Shadepaw understood and respected it.


    The black apprentice shifted into a position mirroring Ghosteyes's, laying down with his paws under his chin, a playful gleam in his emerald eyes as they rested upon Ghosteyes. "How about you go first, Ghosteyes?" The small male suggested teasingly, licking one of his paws and drawing it over his torn ear, before running his paw through the fur on the top of his head, making sure that it lay flat.


    She grinned, not oblivious to the fact that she had entertained Laureldawn, but certainly not unhappy about it; she liked the other, and was nothing if not glad to see him smile. Tilting her head, she grinned; he had a rather contagious laugh, and Moongleam found that an airy giggle breezed her lips, lilting alongside their laughter. "Moony," she mused, voice faraway, eyes looking into a dimension unseen. "What a peculiar alias! I quite like it." A pause, and she seemed to snap back into reality, bringing her gaze to flicker rigidly between Laureldawn and Ghosteyes. "No one has ever called me such a thing." Father had been rather rigid in not accepting nicknames, and she had respected her saviour.


    At Shadepaw's approach she would offer him a dip of the head in respectful greeting, eyes lingering, fixated upon him for a few long moments. He seemed the casual type, and offered the an easy grin with words spoken teasingly, something that made her ears prick up in amusement. "Ah!" she chimed, fictive eyebrows raised in amusement. "Yes, if I teach you things, then I'd love to learn something about you," continued the pale woman, bowing her head and taking in a deep inhalation, relaxing her shoulders as she let it out. "Our own little sharing circle, hm?"