slip away into this sound | Black

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    BLACKNIGHT


    WindClan... had been messy recently. A lot of things had happened, and Lilypetal had been through a lot, as had the rest of her Clanmates. Brightstar's possession had screwed over the entire Clan, and it had affected so many cats. Ivy had left out of fear, Raccoonhobble had been forced to retire to the elders, Cottonpaw had been apprenticed early, Crowstone had tried to kill Cloudwatcher and Birdbones had been called out by Brightstar cruelly in front of the entire Clan. Lilypetal knew that all of her Clanmates had suffered thanks to the actions of Crowstone, and Lilypetal knew that she was meant to be grateful that Crowstone had never targeted her specifically. And yet, Lilypetal still felt terrible. She had expected to feel better now that the real Brightstar was back, but she still felt a sick feeling in her stomach. She still felt like shit for letting her apprentice die, and she doubted she would ever forgive herself for not realizing what was wrong with Brightstar sooner. She had been so, so stupid, believing that Brightstar's personality had changed due to sickness or the pressure of becoming leader. Maybe if I had noticed what was really wrong sooner, I could have helped get rid of Crowstone, and the real Brightstar could have come back sooner.


    Lilypetal knew that it was stupid to blame herself. All of her Clanmates had known that there was something wrong with Brightstar, but nobody had suspected possession - Brightstar had had to visit Birdbones in a dream to tell her about her situation herself. And yet, Lilypetal still felt as though it was her fault. Brightstar was her sister - if any cat was meant to help her, if any cat had been capable enough to help her, it should have been Lilypetal. All that Lilypetal had done the entire time that Brightstar was possessed was complain about her and sulk.


    I'm useless.


    What was even worse was that Lilypetal had no idea how to react to Brightstar now. She wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment by her sister's side now that she was back, but embarrassingly, she was worried about her Clanmates judging her. Lilypetal already knew that Coldpaw despised Brightstar for everything that had happened, but Lilypetal wasn't sure how the rest of her Clanmates were taking Brightstar's return. There had hardly been any time to find out, considering that Brightstar had run off to give birth almost straight after coming back.


    Lilypetal hoped that her Clanmates were being accepting towards Brightstar, she hoped that they had forgiven Brightstar for everything that she had done while she was possessed. Lilypetal couldn't bear the thought of her Clanmates being cruel towards Brightstar for something she couldn't control - but, selfishly enough, she also couldn't bear the thought of being the only one who treated Brightstar kindly after her possession. As nasty as it was, Lilypetal just really didn't want to be the odd one out.


    In an attempt to try and find out how her Clanmates felt about Brightstar now, Lilypetal had decided that she would subtly try to bring up the topic with her Clanmates when she could. She could only hope that they would speak positively about Brightstar rather than... saying anything else. They're stupid if they hate Brightstar for what she did while she was possessed - she couldn't control her actions!


    It seemed that now would be the time for Lilypetal to start carrying out her plan. She was outside of the camp, hunting, though not successfully catching much, when she spotted Blacknight. The pretty molly raised her tail in greeting, trotting towards him, greeting him cheerfully, "Hiiii Blacknight!" it seemed that Lilypetal was getting better and better at acting like everything was fine, even when it wasn't. Lilypetal knew that she wasn't even meant to be upset about anything, so it was best to just act cheerful. She was sure that her Clanmates would rather a joyful cat over a miserable one. "How are you?" lowering her voice a little, the tone of her voice sounding considerably more neutral, she then asked, "How... are you taking this whole Brightstar... possession thing? It's pretty crazy right?" Lilypetal tried to ignore how nervous she felt as she asked the question. She really, really hoped that Blacknight had nothing nasty to say about her sister. She wasn't sure if she could bear to hear it.


    The deputy had sent cats on patrols and other tasks to keep them occupied and try to get their mind off of Bright. Even though their leader had come back, that didn't mean everyone was willing to forgive so easily. He was one of those cats as well. Although, he understood it wasn't her fault. The cat that made all these horrible decisions and led to the deaths of many was another. A cat that took control of Bright and turned her into a monster. It was then, that he realized that if he stood by Bright's side any longer she would become like that. He was a living Crowstone among them. Perhaps, he was even worse. That hole full of corpses, yet he continued to throw bodies down it. The horrendous smell wasn't pleasant either, but it was something he became accustomed to. If I stay by her side she might be dragged into my world.


    A world of death and rage was not for Bright. Her name alone was proof of that. She had told him the meaning behind clan names and they were meant to represent an aspect of yourself. Bright and Black. They were opposites. They needed to stay apart. They needed to be opposite. He took a rabbit from the fresh-kill pile and found a spot to sit down and eat his meal. Normally he would eat with Bright, but that was a long time ago. He used to long her company, but now he didn't want it whatsoever. Anyhow, he took a bite of the rabbit when he heard his name being called. Oh great, what is it? Poor Lilypetal would be met with a bloodied maw and bits of rabbit hanging from his maw. Most definitely unsightly.


    Ignoring how disgusting that might have been, he flicked his tail in greeting. What's she got to say? Please don't tell me one of the kits left camp again or something. Thankfully, it was not bad news. However, he didn't quite understand why Lilypetal of all cats was trying small talk with him. Finishing the bit of rabbit and wiping his maw, staining his paw, he looked up at her. There was a moment of silence before he answered, "I'm doing fine?" Lilypetal being cheerful was odd. Only Bright was this cheerful and it disturbed him. Why would Lilypetal try and act like her sister before all of this? What was she even hoping for? It didn't suit her. The next question she said threw at him left him dumbfounded.


    Oh, she wants me to lie. Sadly, that just wasn't his style. "If you want me to say anything good about your sister, it's not happening. The only good news out of this whole thing is Hemera's and Bright's kits being born. Congrats on becoming an aunt by the way." Was he being too blunt? Perhaps, but he could have ranted about Bright. Lilypetal should consider herself lucky he didn't tear into her sister. Or maybe he was lucky that Lilypetal didn't tear into him for turning his back on Bright when they were clearly friends.

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    //sorry for late reply! Had no energy the last few days


    Lilypetal looked away briefly at the sight of the blood and rabbit scraps on Blacknight's maw. She was a warrior, Clanborn at that, and she was used to violence and blood, but that didn't mean that she was necessarily comfortable with it. Lilypetal still found it quite gross. "Eww..." The creamy warrior murmured under her breath, before facing Blacknight again, ears pricked as she listened to her Clanmate speak.


    Unfortunately, it seemed that Blacknight had seen right through her. This surprised Lilypetal - frightened her, even. He knew exactly what she wanted to hear, and he wasn't going to give it to her. And in a way, perhaps Lilypetal respected Blacknight for telling the truth. Lies had no value, although they had been exactly what she had wanted to hear. It did hurt her a little that Blacknight of all cats would turn against Brightstar - he was her friend, after all, or at least, he had been. She wondered what this meant for Blacknight, if he was really turning his back on Brightstar. Lilypetal wasn't stupid - she knew that Blacknight was far from the friendliest cat, and she wasn't sure if he really had anyone he was especially close to him. But she had believed that he genuinely cared for Brightstar. Maybe not. Maybe she had been wrong. Or maybe he just found it impossible to forgive Brightstar for what she had done while possessed.


    The pretty molly settled down on the ground, wrapping her tail neatly around her delicate front paws. "Thank you!" she purred, blinking gratefully at Blacknight as he congratulated her. She adored Brightstar's kits already - and while she could accept her Clanmates treating Brightstar poorly after what she had done, she wouldn't let anyone dare hurt the kits because of their mother's mistakes. She wouldn't accept that. They were her family, and she loved them. "The kits are really, really cute..." a genuine smile appeared on the creamy warrior's face. "Brightstar's kits and Hemera's, too," she ducked her head a little after speaking. "Though I feel really sorry for Hemera's kits, losing their mother right after being born. I hope that they'll be okay..." Lilypetal had had a fairly normal childhood. Her dad had died at some point, but she had managed to deal with it maturely enough. The thought of growing up without a mother terrified her - and she grieved Hemera, too. She knew that she would do her best to shower the kits with love to make up for their mother being gone.


    Of course, she eventually had to address the subject she had put forward in the first place. "I get why cats aren't forgiving Brightstar, it makes sense. I mean, what she did was really terrible, possessed or not. I mean, trying to kill her Clanmates with dogs? That's not something anyone can forget about overnight!" except, that was exactly what Lilypetal had done. It was Crowstone who had done all of those shitty things, not Brightstar, and it disappointed her that none of her Clanmates could see that. "Do you think things will ever be normal for her again? It's going to be really hard for anyone to move on..." She expected Blacknight to say no. He was blunt enough, and while his words would probably hurt her, she respected them. She respected them because she knew it was better to share an honest opinion than to stay quiet, which was exactly what Lilypetal was doing. The molly feared that her Clanmates would judge her if they knew just how quickly she had forgiven Brightstar. It was stupid to feel so insecure about such a thing, but she couldn't help it. She'd started feeling insecure and doubtful ever since Brindlepaw's death, and it seemed that the doubt just built up, higher and higher.