Ulla knew she was being unfair to her clanmates. She had been losing her temper with them more frequently for things that weren't their fault and she tried not to, but she couldn't help it. When she had been in Orneborg, she had to suppress nearly everything about herself because if she didn't the Lord would either send her away or kill her. It had been that simple and also that terrible. Looking back, she wasn't sure why she had fought so hard to stay in a place that had so clearly hated her. They didn't appreciate the help she offered them in the forest, they didn't appreciate the fact her family had been running the town for nearly her father's entire life, and they certainly didn't appreciate that she constantly used magic (unknown to them) to make sure they were safe from the horrors that waited for them. Orneborg had always had a strange amount of spiritual energy that Andreas and his family had been content to ignore - a luxury they had only been able to afford because of the work Ulla did. Here, though, things were different. Or they had been. She learned first that she didn't have to hide her powers - that there was no one waiting around the corner to snatch her away for practicing what she was born with. Then she had learned that sometimes she could speak her mind at meetings, especially to Calina and Riptide, and her words would be appreciated. She had even started to feel like maybe she had a right to be listened to, which was interesting and new and somewhat frustrating in it's own right. But she knew that there were times when she took all of that too far. When her freedom started to hurt others, she knew it wasn't good to just shout and berate them, but sometimes that was what she wanted to do.
Rather than taking her anger out on literally everyone around her, though, for once she had decided to do something good with that anger. At least, good for everyone else. Sometimes she had a tendency to partake in some self destructive behaviors when upset. While for most creatures this meant drinking excessively or jumping between several romantic partners, for Ulla that usually meant taking an odd interest in powerful spirits and trying to track them down when they, in no way, wanted to speak with her. It was what she had done when she'd gotten herself captured in the Ruins. With Kiyoshi injured, though, she knew it was no time to go running off to the Exiles to try to pick a fight with an entire clan or to run off to the mountains to seek out some strange spirit. It was time for her to be home with her family and learn how to process her emotions in ways that would actually help them. So, Ulla had gone out of her way to collect some glass and then went far out into the woods, far enough away from camp that she wouldn't attract any attention. Then she started grabbing the glass and throwing it at the nearby trees with as much force as she could. With each throw, she would yell about something that made her angry. "I hate the Exiles!" A plate shattered against the tree. "I hate that they raided us and I hate that they took Kiyoshi's eye!" Angry tears started to burn at her eyes and she hated them. She didn't like to cry when she was angry. She wanted to be terrifying when she was angry, not a sobbing mess. "I hate that I don't know where Witch is!" Had he left her? Why would he leave without saying anything? There was a part of her that accepted he must be gone. It would be two months soon enough, almost right after they had started dating. Was it something she said? Something she did? She wasn't even sure that she was angry at him, she just didn't want him to be gone.
☾ WAS IT YOU 'MID THE FIRE AND THE EMBER? ☽