For a moment, Shadepaw was tempted to argue again, though what he had intended on saying, he couldn't be sure. Shellpaw was right - this was all that they could do. Perhaps he was just overreacting - it wasn't like Pepperkit had actually tried to kill him.
But he had it in him. I saw that much.
He calmed down slightly upon meeting his friend's gaze. He felt embarrassed, ashamed, guilty about blurting out the truth to Shellpaw, having this breakdown in front of her. But how could he have held back? She'd shown up almost straight after Pepperkit had attacked him, only giving the little tom enough time to wash away the bengal's scent before meeting her. Once he got back to camp... he would be better at hiding his feelings. He had to be.
"I know," he answered, his voice sounding stronger now, but still trembling. "But we can't make it obvious," his tone becoming harsher, he corrected, "You can't make it obvious, because you're not meant to know."
Moving closer to his friend again, still stumbling as he did so, but this time forcing himself not to fall, he brushed his tail against her shoulder briefly. "Thank you... for being there," his green gaze dropped to his paws for a moment, fur burning with embarrassment. He hated how vulnerable he had appeared in front of Shellpaw, and hoped she wouldn't view him any differently for it. Surely she would - she'd seen his weaknesses! His tone suddenly became a lot more brisk and blunt as he continued, "We had better get back to camp."
The small tom began to stride back in the direction of camp, but had only walked a few pawsteps before wobbling. Letting out a gasp, he paused, regaining his balance, before glancing behind him at Shellpaw, nervousness in his eyes, as if asking her for help without putting the humiliating request into words.
"that's just what gangsters do."