YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT YOU//p, pepper

.Pepper.

Shadepaw was in a great mood, the best mood he'd been in for ages. He didn't even feel at all upset when he missed a mouse which had been scurrying about right under his nose. He was too happy to care.

Pepperkit had gotten what he'd deserved. Calling him out, telling Flamestar about the nasty things he had said about her, was, in his opinion, one of the best decisions he had ever made. Pepperkit had made him feel insecure, useless, weak...

And now his enemy had been completely and utterly humiliated. It felt amazing.

The small black apprentice had been especially energetic after Flamestar had announced Pepperkit's punishment, so he had decided to put his spare energy to good use by going on a night hunt. He'd been very successful, but now, he was starting to get tired. His muscles ached with effort, and the prey seemed to be escaping him. He felt weak, but he knew that he only felt weak after all of his hard work. It was very different from the powerless feeling Shadepaw had experienced after Pepperkit had beaten him in that spar a while back.

He'd head back soon. Joy still danced about in his head, his mind full of life following his 'victory' against Pepperkit. But his body moved slowly, with every pawstep he found himself wanting to flop out. If I go to sleep, maybe I'll have lots of good dreams about Pepperkit making himself look like an idiot.

Then, he spotted a squirrel. It wasn't too far away, and it was unaware of his presence. It was quite large, and, considering that it stood at an equal distance from all of the nearby trees rather than standing close to one in particular, Shadepaw felt as though he stood a chance at catching it.

Unable to resist temptation, the small apprentice dropped into a clumsy crouch, his haunches nearly completely hitting the ground. He began to slowly stalk his prey, his body barely seeming to move. Shadepaw wasn't doing this because he was being careful, but because of how tired he had become.

It had hit him suddenly.

The dark blanket of night gripped the apprentice as he approached his prey. No stars shone in the sky tonight. Shadepaw was alone, alone with the squirrel, the sky and the deafening darkness.

He was alone.

Or so he thought.

"that's just what gangsters do."

Suddenly, the ground lurched towards Shadepaw's face. He assumed for a moment that he was falling asleep, mentally scolding himself for not returning to the camp sooner. But when he realised he was still awake, he felt a jolt of fear.

And then he felt the feeling of claws stabbing him in the back.

Twisting his head around, he could see Pepperkit. Darkness fell on the bengal's shape, making him look like nothing but a shadow. But that smile... cruel, almost sadistic...

This wasn't the smile of a Clanmate, it wasn't even the smile of a rival. It was the smile of someone who wanted to hurt, the smile of a hunter who had just caught his prey.

Shadepaw knew that if it was a fight that Pepperkit wanted, there was no way he would be able to win. He was super tired, practically blinking sleepiness away from his eyes. What kept him awake now was not the joy he had felt after getting revenge on Pepperkit, but the raw fear he felt looking up at him.

He couldn't fight back. Weakly, he attempted to stand up, freeing himself from Pepperkit's grip.

Regardless of whether he managed to free himself or not, Shadepaw would talk to Pepperkit. His green eyes were wide with fear, and he looked hunted, like a frightened animal. Pepperkit was clearly full of energy - he had come here with a purpose. Shadepaw felt almost sick to the stomach as he wondered what said purpose was.

He didn't know what to say to the other apprentice. It felt natural for Shadepaw to insult him, but the small black tom was not stupid. If he said something wrong here, stepped one paw out of line...

He dreaded to think what would happen.

"Pepperpaw!" there was no way he was calling him 'Pepperkit' at a time like this. If there was one thing that was going to get Shadepaw torn to shreds, it was the use of that humiliating name. "What are you doing here?"

"that's just what gangsters do."

//yUP, thrown that red banner up there! Pep's gone hardcore!

He was bleeding.

Shadepaw couldn't help but think back to his previous spar with Pepperkit. He'd been startled then by the bengal's use of claws, but at least back then, it had felt like a slightly more fair fight. Shadepaw had been wide awake, and they had both agreed to the spar.

This felt completely different. This time, Shadepaw felt it. He was genuinely in danger. This tom was in a state of mind in which he could potentially kill Shadepaw, he was sure of it. Pepperkit wasn't messing around, this was real, not just some dumb spar.

The only time Shadepaw had felt like this before was when that rogue had attacked him as a kit, nearly killing him. He still carried scars from that humiliating day.

What was strange, was that when Shadepaw had first met Pepperkit, he hadn't flat out hated him. Secretly, he had been quite curious about him, wanting to get to know him better. Deep down, he had been quite amused by the bengal's snappy personality, by his bad attitude, by his harshness. He had admired the strength of Pepperkit's personality, the power he seemingly held behind every word. Pepperkit was a fighter, and to Shadepaw, that had been somewhat exhilarating at first. He really had wanted to get to know Pepperkit, he really had.

Unfortunately, while Shadepaw had technically gotten what he desired, he hadn't gotten to know Pepperkit in the way he had wanted.

Maybe what hurt the most was that in the darkest pits of the young male's mind, he saw himself in his enemy. They both seemed lost, in a way, both angry, both confused. They were both young, and yet they both carried physical scars, and perhaps, emotional scars too.

In a different universe, maybe they could have been friends.

Maybe they could have healed eachother.

Scratch...

The feeling of claws along his spine, slow and painful. Was Pepperkit going to torture him or something? Did he plan on dragging this out? If his enemy wanted to kill him, did he really have to make everything so painfully slow?

At least this would be an interesting way to die - tortured and then murdered by my angsty Clanmate.

If he killed me and the Clan found out, would Flamestar announce that I had been killed by Pepperkit, or Pepperpaw? It would be even more humiliating if she said that I was killed by a kit...

Pepperkit had given his reasoning to why he was angry, which wasn't too surprising of a reason to Shadepaw.

He had to beg.

"Pepperpaw," his eyes were full of fear, pleading, desperate, "I know you're angry, what I did was just a heat of the moment think. I was just upset because Flamestar's done a lot for us, and I didn't like her being insulted. I had a bad hunt, and was really stressed out. I really do regret it, really, really..."

This was crazy. Moments ago, Shadepaw had felt victorious, and now he felt... terrified for his life. Did he truly regret what he had done to Pepperkit? No, not really. It was nowhere near as serious as the bengal was making out to be, and if Shadepaw hadn't spoken up for his own, wrong, vengeful reasons, he was sure someone else would have spoken up for their own, right reasons, out of a genuine desire to defend their leader's honor, out of a genuine desire to be honest with Flamestar.

He continued to talk. Rims of white showed around his eyes, his fear scent hanging in the air, the only scent he could smell. It wrapped around him, suffocating him. "But whatever you're planning on doing, you'll regret it too," he continued to plead, small ears flat against his head, "We can just leave all this behind us. We don't even have to talk to eachother ever again. We can just peacefully coexist... please, Pepperpaw..."

Maybe Pepperkit wouldn't even be able to bear seeing Shadepaw's face around camp. Maybe his begging would mean nothing to the bengal. Perhaps it would give him pleasure.

Death felt close, really close. Pepperkit hadn't given him any serious injuries yet, but somehow, Shadepaw knew the seriousness of the situation, he knew how far Pepperkit was willing to go. He was a creature of rage and hate, bathing in Shadepaw's fear, loving the terror of his enemy.

Shadepaw just wanted to see his mom, his dad. To see Ivorypaw, Mousepaw, Doepaw and Serpentpaw. To see Pumpkinstrut and Shellpaw.

He wanted to tell them that he loved them, no matter how embarrassing it was. He wanted to cuddle them and... just... show the emotions that he felt, without fear of being judged.

Maybe that would never happen now.

Shadepaw wondered whether Pepperkit had anyone that he loved. He didn't seem to have a good relationship with anyone in ThunderClan, and StarClan knew what had gone on with him prior to joining the Clan. Nothing good, by the looks of it.

He examined the scars on Pepperkit for a few moments. It was hard to see them in the darkness, but he could just make them out.

Whatever Pepperkit had gone through, it had been painful. This just made Shadepaw feel even more frustrated. I could have helped you... we didn't have to be enemies...

But here they were. Shadepaw pinned by Pepperkit, Pepperkit grinning like a freak, and the black tom had no idea what his enemy intended on doing next.

"that's just what gangsters do."

Shadepaw could feel something at the back of his head. For a moment, he felt no pain, and then he let out a loud gasp as the impact of Pepperkit's claws set in. He felt as though his head was being torn apart, the pain being unbearable. His head stung, the pain become harsher and harsher, hotter and hotter, with every passing moment.

Clearly, his pleas for mercy had failed.

And it seemed that Pepperkit still wasn't done yet. He felt claws in the back of his shoulder, and his entire body trembled.

Pepperkit was torturing him, taking pleasure in his pain - he showed no signs of stopping, his words harsh and venomous, echoing in his ears. Perhaps they were the last words he would ever hear, as if Pepperkit was singing the song of death.

Again, he attempted to thrust his body upwards, trying to free himself. His movements were even slower and weaker than before. He could feel blood pouring out of his body in multiple areas, decorating the ground a crimson red.

And again, he tried to reason with his enemy. "I'm sorry, I didn't things through... I just wanted to defend Flamestar, I didn't mean to act so stupidly," he insisted. "I'm sorry you got punished, Pepperpaw, I really, really am... but Flamestar will give you your name back. She'll get over what you said... I promise..."

The small apprentice groaned in pain as blood began to flow even more quickly out of his shoulder. Shakily, he raised a small paw and held it over the injury, hoping to minimize blood loss.

"And..." he continued to talk, looking up at Pepperkit with desperate, pleading eyes. "I won't cause you trouble again... I'll stay out of your way. So please, just let me go..."

"that's just what gangsters do."

SHELLFIRE

Pepperkit was letting him go.

Relief rushed through the small cat as Pepperkit freed him. The black tom stayed on the ground. He wasn't sure if he would be able to stand up, not yet, anyway. He needed a moment. He was in so much pain... and he just... wanted to sleep. The apprentice could see black spots in his vision and he didn't know if it was because of how tired he was or because of how much pain he was in. Shadepaw was scared that if he fell asleep in this state, he would never wake up.

"Understood." The ebony pelted tom answered, green eyes still round with fear. He was unable to look at the bengal for more than a few seconds, for terror struck him just at the sight of that... thing.

He could have killed me.

And then Pepperkit was gone, off to clean himself up, warning Shadepaw to wash off his scent. Shadepaw knew he had no choice but to - if ThunderClan found out that Pepperkit had attacked him, Pepperkit would kill him.

For a while however, the black cat just lay on the ground. Sticky blood hugged his fur, and all he could see was red mixing with the green forest ground.

Once, he tried to lift himself up, but, shuddering, he collapsed to the ground again. He was losing too much blood, and he just felt so tired... he wanted to sleep, but if he slept, surely he would die.

Again, he tried to get to his paws. He couldn't. Not now. Sleepiness, pain and fear dragged him down, the ground called to him, and he collapsed on to the bloodstained floor again.

The nearest water source... where could he wash off the scent? His mind felt muddled, full of thoughts that made no sense anymore, but eventually, a place clicked in his mind. The river at RiverClan's border.

Deciding against walking, the black cat opted to dragging himself along the ground, a pitiful mess. He felt humiliated, his pelt burning with embarrassment, tears beginning to trickle down his face, faster and faster. He was just a big baby, a failure, that he had always known, ever since that rogue had beaten him up and nearly killed him all of those moons ago.

The world went by slowly as Shadepaw dragged himself. The ground grasped harshly at his belly with every moment, and he could barely believe his eyes when he finally spotted the river. Reaching the edge, the black spots in his vision seeming to grow larger and larger, he dipped his small paws into the water, brushing them against his pelt, his face, his ears, legs, tail, ensuring Pepperkit's scent was gone. His tears splashed into the river, mixing with the water, becoming as insignificant as every inch of the river, becoming as insignificant as Shadepaw in this big wide world, full of cats who were kinder than him, stronger than him, better than him.

He was nothing, never to amount to anything. Useless.

Moving away from the river, Shadepaw dragged himself back the way he had come. It felt as though he could barely see anymore, darkness dancing in his vision. He was terrified, doubting that he could make it back to camp.

Until he saw someone.

"that's just what gangsters do."

Shellpaw.

Of course, of all cats to see him in this state, it would be one of his friends.

He was still crying, though he wiped the tears away as the molly approached - fear was still evident in his eyes, though the apprentice was attempting to calm himself down as quickly as possible. It's fine, it's fine, he didn't even kill me.

It's a pity that's the only positive thing I can think of right now.

"If I could get up," he growled, his voice gruff. "I would have done it already." The small tom tried to ignore the way his friend's eyes darkened upon seeing the claw marks. He would have to tell her that a badger did it or something. If he told Shellpaw what had actually happened, Pepperkit had already made it perfectly clear that he would kill him, no question about it.

The only thing he did realise was that he felt slightly more energy now that Shellpaw was here, as if the presence of his friend had motivated him. Shadepaw loved his friend and felt a great amount of loyalty to her, as he did to all of his friends. Maybe that was it.

Maybe he could stand up now after all.

Trembling, he tried to raise himself to his paws. He breathed a sigh of relief as he managed to stand upright for a few moments, stumbling towards Shellpaw, trying to reassure her that actually, everything was fine after all. But no sooner than he had reached the she cat's side did his head begin to spin, not only from the burning exposed flesh he could feel on his head, but from fear. He could still see Pepperkit, his sadistic smile, the desire he had held in his eyes to kill Shadepaw...

Letting out a gasp, the small apprentice tumbled over, crashing into Shellpaw. He gripped her shoulder shakily with one of his front paws, mumbling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it was an accident." Though he didn't try to pull away from the molly, mainly as he could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, and he was frightened that if he moved away, Shellpaw would see them. He knew she had already seen him crying only moments before, but that didn't mean that he wanted her to see that again.

"that's just what gangsters do."

Shadepaw breathed a sigh of relief as the molly didn't move away as he stumbled on to her, allowing him to regain his balance a little, though he still refused to raise his head. Ignoring his friend's question for a moment, the apprentice just thought about the fact that Shellpaw was here. It was a good feeling. Shellpaw was one of the cats he had thought of, back when he had been convinced that Pepperkit was going to kill him.

He was glad that she was here.

The ebony pelted apprentice pressed himself against Shellpaw a little more, still refusing to let her see his face. "It was a badger." He mumbled into her fur, holding back a shudder as the lie left his mouth. As much as he wanted to tell Shellpaw the truth, to tell everybody the truth, to kick that worthless excuse for a cat, Pepperkit, out of ThunderClan, he knew that he couldn't do that. He would be dead. He just hoped that Shellpaw didn't question him further - his emotions were running wild, and he didn't know how long he could hold on before he said something stupid, before he said something like the truth.

"that's just what gangsters do."

Why couldn't she believe him?

Why couldn't she just believe him?

Shadepaw could feel his fur bristling, and he once again let out a growl. "Yes, Shellpaw, a badger. I was just out hunting and it came up behind me, pinned me, and, well, you can see for yourself what it did," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I managed to escape. I'm fine now."

No you're not. You're not fine and you're not going to be fine, either.

He wished that it had been a badger that attacked him, not Pepperkit. A badger wouldn't be living in ThunderClan's camp, he wouldn't have to see a badger everyday, he wouldn't have to pretend that the badger had done nothing wrong...

Shadepaw wanted to tell his friend - he really, really did, but how could he? She needed to stop pushing him now, for the words he so desperately wanted to speak lay just on the tip of his tongue, emotion shoving them further and further out of his mouth, and he felt as though one little final nudge from Shellpaw would be enough to free the truth.

That could never happen. Pepperkit would kill him.

"that's just what gangsters do."

//it's fine, don't worry!

She wasn't going to believe Shadepaw.

His heart sank as the molly pulled away from him a little, examining his wounds. As she pulled away, he did too, looking at his friend, looking at the careful way in which she inspected his injuries. Shellpaw really did care for him. Tears welled up in his eyes again. What was wrong with him? Good cats didn't lie.

But Pepperkit...

He continued to watch Shellpaw, tipping his head to the side slightly, confusion glistening in his eyes. Why did she care so much? He was the idiot who had gotten himself beat up. He should have been stronger than Pepperkit. He should have been more alerted. He shouldn't have started crying like a little baby. He was a joke.

Suddenly snapping away from his friend completely, stumbling back from her, he faced the she cat, a pained look in his eyes. "So what if it wasn't a badger?" he raked his claws through the ground. "So what if it was a cat? So what if he told me not to tell anyone, or he would kill me? I want to tell you, Shellpaw, because I think you of all cats would understand, but... I'm scared."

He was going to tell her, he felt it in the depths of his stomach. No going back now. Shellpaw was smart - if he shut up now, she would probably work out who he was talking about anyway.

"Pepperkit did it."

Short, simple. He'd say more when he could, but right now, he felt like throwing up. He needed to calm himself, focus on his breathing, but he couldn't. The world lurched around him, caused not only by the instability of his legs but the dangerous instability of his mind. Something was slowly clicking inside of him, but he ignored it for now. He was talking to Shellpaw, he needed to talk to Shellpaw, tell her not to tell anyone, say something sensible, function normally, just do something right...

"that's just what gangsters do."

"No!" Shadepaw snarled, fur bristling even more. "If we tell someone, I'm dead, and I'm sure I can find a way to drag you down with me!" His words were full of fury, fear, and guilt. Guilt that he hadn't been good enough, guilt that he had gotten Shellpaw involved. It wasn't really Shellpaw's fault that she wanted to tell someone - it was only natural, and she was only trying to protect him, but didn't she understand that she couldn't do that? Pepperkit would just come and kill Shadepaw. The only way Shadepaw would be completely safe from Pepperkit was if he was dead.

"I just... feel like if I do one thing wrong, he's going to kill me. What exactly could I do in this situation? Kill him first? I'm sure I could sneak some deathberries into his prey." He felt disgusted that the thought had even crossed his mind, and even more disgusted that he had actually spoken a thought such as that aloud. But... it would work, wouldn't it?

And what if it didn't? If Pepperkit survived the poisoning, or if he found the deathberries in his meal, Shadepaw would be his main suspect, right off the bat. But what was Shadepaw meant to do? He didn't feel safe being in the same Clan as Pepperkit, not after that. "If anyone makes him angry, he'll beat them up like he beat up me. He's a mess of a cat, a danger to the entire Clan. I hate him, Shellpaw," he raked his claws even more roughly against the earth, feeling the earth almost tremble beneath his touch. For a brief moment, he imagined Pepperkit underneath his claws, begging for mercy, just as Shadepaw had done. He felt briefly satisfied, before remembering the reality of his situation once again. "I hate him." He hated Pepperkit for making him feel like this, he hated him, he hated him, he hated him so much...

"that's just what gangsters do."