alone in the universe - private ; brightshine

  • Whitelightning couldn't focus. He tried his best to focus his eyes on the prey he saw in the distance, cold and unmoving, but his head pounded from the heat and.. grief. He wouldn't acknowledge the second one; he would just go back to square one. No emotions. No emotions were good...

    Back to the prey. He huffed; it was obvious he would never get the image to stop shaking, so he went for the attack. He shook his head as he looked down to the-- rock. The rock he had caught. "Fantastic.." he grumbled; heartbroken, starving, and now going crazy.

    Brightshine

    LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENEMY

    17 moons ┋ windclan ┋ tags┋ ic opinions ┋ penned by pastel

  • While she may appear as one to others, Brightshine was no idiot. There was a clear difference between being oblivious to tragedies and trying to move on from them, which is what she always tried to do. Just keep moving forward. You can't change the past, so there's no need to look back at it. This situation, however, was different. Very different. When Thornstep disappeared, the calico had lost a dear friend, one of her very best friends, even. But Whitelightning? He had lost his love.


    The deputy watched from the top of a hill as the senior warrior pounced on an unmoving stone, sadness gracing her features in a very rare sight. This would be hard. But, for Thornstep, she would do anything to help the pale-furred tom. It would take time, yes, but he needed someone now more than ever.


    Drawing in a breath, Brightshine forced a smile onto her face as she trotted down the slope, calling out, "Don't break your teeth trying to take a bite out of that one!" An empty giggle. At least she was trying. She reached his side and tried to keep smiling, but her expression quickly turned sympathetic. I'm here for you! Please, let me in. She wanted to scream those words, but held them in, knowing they'd never help him to open up to her.


    "speech."



    I'll work real hard and do my best
    To turn that sad frown upside down

    YOU THRILL ME, YOU DELIGHT ME

    YOU PLEASE ME, YOU EXCITE ME

    Bio & Pinterest Trad. WindClan Deputy 21 Moons PENNED BY Blitz Krieg

  • Whitelightning cursed under his breath as Brightshine came over. "Im out here losing my mind and you're making jokes?" he said in a flat tone, shaking his headan another attempt to make the room stop spinning. He sighed; why was Brightshine so optimistic? Why did Starclan bless her of all people with eternal happiness? Why couldn't it be him, or Thornstep? Why her of all people? "What're you doing out here, deputy?" he said, almost spitting venom at her. He hated how she took his name, his role! It wasn't fair.. life wasn't fair. Not to White, anyways. Someone up above had something out for him.

    LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENEMY

    17 moons ┋ windclan ┋ tags┋ ic opinions ┋ penned by pastel

  • Brightshine visibly winced, recognizing that maybe her usual method of cheering others up wasn't the right call for this particular situation. Mental note: no more jokes. Her smile fell and she watched him carefully, ears flicking in thought as she eased her rump down to the ground. Honesty hour, she supposed. "I came out to check on you," She stated truthfully, tilting her head slightly as she further examined him. She was well aware of why he probably hated her. Everyone in WindClan had been holding onto the hope that Thornstep would return, that maybe he'd show up on the border and everything would go back to normal.


    That hope had been squashed when his role as deputy was handed over to Brightshine. It seemed to finalize it, the knowledge that they may never see the compassionate tom again. It was a hard pill to swallow, especially for the senior warrior standing before her. Again, the calico would offer a smile, this one smaller and more hesitant. "I thought you'd maybe want some company."


    "speech."



    I'll work real hard and do my best
    To turn that sad frown upside down

    YOU THRILL ME, YOU DELIGHT ME

    YOU PLEASE ME, YOU EXCITE ME

    Bio & Pinterest Trad. WindClan Deputy 21 Moons PENNED BY Blitz Krieg

  • "Do I look that pathetic to you?" he spat, glaring at the molly who had only tried to help. "I don't need company, or to be checked on, I need to get my head back on straight so we all don't die of hunger!" he growled, turning his back from her as he plopped himself onto the ground. He needed Thornstep back but... that wasn't going to happen. "We're all going to starve and rot away, and you're out here following sad cats around to try your best and boost morale. Why?" 'I'm a lost cause', he thought, digging his claws into his other paw, an impulse he thought he had grown out of. He was still stupid he supposed. Nothing else was going right, why even try and fight the impulses?

    LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENEMY

    17 moons ┋ windclan ┋ tags┋ ic opinions ┋ penned by pastel

  • The calico flinched at his words, recoiling only slightly as her ears fell back against her head. She cleared her throat very softly as she tried to regain her thoughts before carefully sitting down right behind him, realizing he didn't want to look at her right now. Her sad green gaze watched him for a few moments, her jaws parting slightly as if she wanted to say something, but no words would come out. A heavy sigh later and she turned her eyes to the ground, tail-tip flicking slowly. Was there really an excuse for her actions? He was right; she wasn't hunting for her clanmates or retrieving much-needed water for the river. She wasn't doing anything to materially help them.


    "I guess...this is what I know how to do best..." Brightshine mewed softly, gaze flicking back to him for a mere moment. "This is how I want to help my clanmates. This is how I want to help you, Whitelightning." Please...let me! Getting to her paws, she'd pad in a small circle around him before seating herself right in front of his face. Still, her face remained downturned. "I know you never liked me much. I know you hate me even more now for taking his position. It pains me to call myself deputy when we all know in our hearts that he could never be replaced. Thornstep was one of the best friends I could have ever hoped to have. He loved you, which means that I will never let you be alone. You are my family, whether you like it or not." Finally, her gaze would drag back up to his face, searching it in hopes that he would look at her.


    "speech."



    I'll work real hard and do my best
    To turn that sad frown upside down

    YOU THRILL ME, YOU DELIGHT ME

    YOU PLEASE ME, YOU EXCITE ME

    Bio & Pinterest Trad. WindClan Deputy 21 Moons PENNED BY Blitz Krieg

  • Whitelightning remained quiet for what felt like just a second too long, finally speaking up. "... It's killing me to not know what happened to him. He could be dead and rotting and I wouldn't be able to help him." Whitelightning looked Brightshine in the eyes. "I don't want to hate you. I'm so tired of hating, hatred only made me hate myself more, but it's so easy to harbor hate. I'm used to pushing out everyone. My..." he dug his claws a bit deeper into his paw. "My parents died and I didn't know what to do. I promised I wouldn't let anyone get close again. I took a chance, let Thorn in, and now look where that led him-- he's gone." Whitelightning wished he could stop the tears from threatening his tired eyes, but he was too exhausted to force himself to quit. "I don't know what to do anymore. The days just drag on without purpose. How do you cope so well?"

    LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENEMY

    17 moons ┋ windclan ┋ tags┋ ic opinions ┋ penned by pastel

  • She listened intently, her eyes never leaving his face as he spoke. To see Whitelightning like this was hard, to say the least. He was always so stoic, so statuesque, so strong. But, it just seemed that it had taken this long for that facade to crumble, to reveal the trembling kit inside that just needed someone to listen. Someone new, because they both knew that the former was gone. As tears were threatening his eyes, they had already conquered her own, flowing freely down her cheeks as her emerald hues glistened from their dousing. How did she cope?


    Heh. It was funny, really. That only moons earlier, she had been having a very similar conversation with Thornstep. It had followed immediately after his promotion to deputy, when he asked her how she could keep smiling, even when it was hard. It appeared that she would share the same story with the one cat that her friend had loved the most. Offering a sad sort of smile, Brightshine began softly, "You know, I had told Thornstep this very same story after he was named deputy. He asked me how I manage to stay optimistic. I told him...my father died when I was very young. It was hard on my mother, but you know what she told me?" She blinked gently, placing a black paw across his own to stop his scratching. "She told me to smile. Smile and laugh through the hard times, because of all things, joy has the most power to chase away the darkness. Pure, uninhibited joy. When you laugh, your demons are too scared to come out. The shadows and the scaries can never get you so long as you're smiling. And if you can get others to smile too? That'll keep the shadows even further away."


    Brightshine looked away for a long moment, her eyes traveling over the dead and dried moorland. She desperately hoped that this wouldn't upset him even further, knowing that she was smiling while his beloved was lost. But everyone had to move on at some point. They had to keep finding their own joy. "It's not that I'm coping well. This...this is one of the hardest losses I've ever had to endure. It's just...I know if Thornstep were here, he'd want us to keep on smiling, too."


    "speech."



    I'll work real hard and do my best
    To turn that sad frown upside down

    YOU THRILL ME, YOU DELIGHT ME

    YOU PLEASE ME, YOU EXCITE ME

    Bio & Pinterest Trad. WindClan Deputy 21 Moons PENNED BY Blitz Krieg

  • "Your mother sounds crazy," Whitelightning laughed dryly, "But I'm glad her advice has worked for you." He tried to conjure an image of his parents with little avail. He was forgetting them. It was horrifying. "I'm sorry to Thornstep, but I don't know when I'll be able to smile again. I'd take your advice, but I don't think I'm in a place to do so yet. I miss him too much." Whitelightning crept over and bumped her shoulder. "Thank you anyways, though. Good to have... family." You can never choose your family, he supposed. He was stuck with Brightshine.

    LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENEMY

    17 moons ┋ windclan ┋ tags┋ ic opinions ┋ penned by pastel