BLUE DAYS ¤¤ Eisuke

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    Debiru knew what he was doing was dangerous and sooner or later someone would found it out and expose him. Like it not was bad enough already that he sneaked down to the prisoners cell to give food and supplies to Ghoulian how Cory had forbidden anyone to pay visits to he as well visited the Godfather to help him survive and attended to his injures despite the obivious hatred the hellhound had for him. If he got found out who knew what would happen and yes he was terrified over it but he couldn't abandon them.


    The risk was worth taking if it meant he could help them even if it wasn't much he really could do for them. Cory clearly wouldn't listen to what anyone had to say and with his position here there was not anything he could do that would mean anything in anyone's eyes. He was nothing more then a ghost around here and his voice didn't matter which was why there was no use in trying and even if he did there was this cowardice existing inside of him over what would happend if he did. If Cory could attack his own clanmate and doctor then surely a slave such like himself had far worse to be faced with.


    Coward.


    He was a coward, he always had been and he hated himself for it.


    This days Debiru spent more time down the prisoner cells or hiding himself away in some quiet and isolated place then being around in the open public surfaces. Every since the day Ghoulian had lost his rank and Leviathan had attacked him the husky had keept himself away and had pretty much become like a ghost, invinsible and unoticed, because it was better that way. Without Ghoulian there was nobody in this place he really felt comfortable enough with. There always was Mr Kuromiya of course but what he shared with his supposed 'master' was not the same he had with the saluki. With Ghoulian he felt like he could be more like himself, not needing to think before he spoke and felt more at ease with him while with Mr Kuromiya...he was constantly worried to say the wrong thing or to do something that he wouldn't like.


    Not to mention lately things had become a bit awkward between them...Debiru might even have been avoiding him on purpose every since the incident with Leviathan and how angry he had seemed to be... It concerned him because Debiru didn't want somebody else to get hurt because of him. He didn't want to add more violence and blood into this never ending circle of pain. He didn't wanted Eisuke to spill blood for him. That was why he had been avoiding him because he did not wanted to tell him afried over what would happen if he did. Debiru would much rather let himself get hurt and beaten up thousand times over then bring out a side of Eisuke he didn't wanted to see. He didn't want him to be like Cory.


    Of course that meant he had nobody to talk to. No one how would really understand or cared to listen to him. In truth he felt extremely lonely and trapped during all of this, and what he had seen and what was happening was making him very sad. It was difficult for him and he was suffering in his silence enduring it all by himself.


    Debiru had just returned back to the cell he shared with Mr kuromiya and hadn't been expecting to see the jaguar in there already. Usual during this hour he was out on a patrol or doing some other of his duties. So it was suprising for the husky to see him in here. " Mr...Kuromiya.." he would speak out thier name softly but his gaze where somewhere else like usual. His anxiety kicked in, and felt this awkwardness was hanging over thier heads, at least it felt so for himself. He wonderd if Mr Kuromiya still was angry...he hadn't dared to glance over at him yet to found that out. He didn't even know why he had broke his daily routine to be in here now to begin with. Had something happend?.


    Eisuke Kuromiya-Warfare

    [ ☾ ]

    EISUKE KUROMIYA

    YOU KEEP THE SUNSHINE

    SAVE ME THE RAIN

    silver jaguar - adult male - the exiles - Prodigy of the Exiles


    It was true that Eisuke wouldn't have normally been found in the prison at this time of day. The jaguar was a busy guy who spent much of his time divided between training sessions and common chores like patrols. He was the sort to head to bed late at night and to wake up early in the morning, and when he did find time to socialize it was usually in the brief moments of his downtime where he was out in the courtyard with the other Exilers.


    Today though, he had made a point of skipping out on his duties, something that was a potential danger to him right now considering the brief hiatus he'd taken to go deal with business elsewhere. Cory had put him on probation with strict orders to step his game up or risk the consequences, and he had little interest in losing his position in the clan by farther shirking his duties. However, he also had little interest in losing Debiru.


    He felt like the husky was regressing back to how he'd been in the beginning. Sure, Debiru had never been super outgoing or brimming with self confidence, but at least he'd been trying. It used to be easy for the silver jaguar to spot the boy shyly speaking to someone out in the courtyard, and thus it had been easy for him to 'run into' Deb and spend time with him, even if the instances were short lived. Now though, Eisuke never saw them. Debiru was always hiding out somewhere, refusing to speak to or go near anyone.


    It was becoming a problem for the Prodigy. He knew that Debiru was probably just playing the part when it came to their...friendship? No- he wasn't sure what to call it. But he knew whatever it was between them was most likely one sided. Eisuke had fucking enslaved him after all, and even if Deb had nobody out there waiting for him and even if Eisuke never hurt him he had still forced him to stay in a rotten place like the Exiles. It was no wonder that Eisuke was the one always initiating things. Debiru never stared at him the way Eisuke looked at them, never touched him unless Eisuke did it first. It was frustrating, but it was something the jaguar accepted. As long as the canine didn't reject him outright or push him away. As long as he could stay near.


    But that was the problem. Debiru had made themselves so scarce since the incident in the bathroom that Eisuke hardly saw him anymore, only occasionally at night when the other was curled up in their bunk pretending to be asleep. Some nights he wasn't there at all, hiding out somewhere else. Those nights, Eisuke slept little as well, too paranoid of a repeat. It was his own little anxiety he couldn't get over, and more often then not he'd stalk the castle and the grounds for the scent of blood until it was time for him to report for dawn patrol, just in case the canine fell into trouble again. But it couldn't go on like that any longer.


    "Deb."


    He'd get to his paws as the canine entered, his surprise evident on his face- that was good though, because Eisuke had wanted to catch him off guard. Hadn't wanted him to have the chance to avoid the cell if he knew Eisuke was waiting. This was one of the first times the jaguar had been able to see him since he'd found him in the medical quarters, and again he was overwhelmed by the urge to be closer to them. He took a step toward them but paused, compsing himself. He'd rushed too much last time and they had shut down and lashed out at Cory, too overwhelmed. And Eisuke wouldn't be able to stand an outright rejection if the canine reacted like that to him as well, smacking him away like he had Cory.


    "Why are you avoiding me?" he asked, the words as blunt as ever but tinged with the hurt he felt. He didn't understand. Was Deb mad that he hadn't been there to stop it? Was he just tired of being here and shutting down? This last part brought a creeping uneasiness through him that he hated. The thought of Debiru wanting to leave or just giving up always unsettled him.


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    "Why are you avoiding me?"


    This words cut deep like a knife cutting itself right through his chest by hearing this words. It wasn't the words itself though but the way he had said it that alarmed the husky. There was something there in Eisuke voice that didn't usual was there when he spoke, and it brought Debiru to lift his gaze up to look at the jaguar like he wanted to confirm what he feared was true. Hurt.Had he hurt him?. Debiru hadn't realised how his own behavior might have effected Eisuke, not thinking about it because this couple of days had not thought about anybody else then himself. Had he...had he been selfish?. He had been hadn't he?, and because of that had he hurt his friend feelings?. " I'm s-sorry!." he bursted out, and took some few steps closer, panic and guilt reflecting inside of his alarmed eyes before he froze and his expression soften into a heavy sadness.


    " I..i just.." he tried to found the words, the right ones, but he really didn't know what to say. There was so many things that had been happening, so many things he constantly thought about. There was so many things he was feeling and with Eisuke absent the ghosts had returned back again along with the voices. He had started to think about things that really had horrified him. Things that really wasn't him. He had started to not feel like himself. " I...i'm scared." the confession slipt out from his mouth, his voice shaking. and you wheren't here.No,no, what was he thinking?. That was not fair of him to think. It wasn't Eisuke's fault he was not the one to blame. He couldn't be everywhere he knew that. Eisuke had his own life and shouldn't have to babysit him all the time. He was free to come and go as he pleased...but why hadn't he told him?.


    " S-Sir Cory a-attacked Ghoulian and l-locked him up a-and it's my fault. I b-begged h-him to stay.."If he hadn't pleaded for Ghoulian to not leave back then after the first arguement with Cory involving this captures the saluki might have left and he wouldn't been all locked away now. But because he had been selfish and wanted him around still not wanting to lose his friend Ghoulian was now a slave too, and he was in pain and it was all his fault. " I-i'm scared of Sir C-Cory and...and the b-bathroom.." he looked evidently shaken up still when he mentioned the bathroom, his voice trembling out the word. It was still a fresh memory and even with his best attempts to pretend it never had happend he relived it everyday and he thanked Lupius everyday that Leviathan spent more time in the cartel this days then the exiles right now...


    " You l-looked so angry but i d-don't want y-you to hurt anyone b-because of me.." The words contunie to keep running out from his mouth and he didn't know why. He should stop, he knew he should because he was being a burden right now and all of this most sound like excuses. None of this might even make any sense to the jaguar just rambling out unfinished sentences since he didn't know how to properly explain himself. He had never been good at it... Debiru started to sob, and used one of his own paws as he tried to wipe away his own tears as they had started to run down his cheeks which made him feel even more horrible. He wanted to stop crying, he didn't wanted Eisuke out of all people to see him like this... He..." I d-don't want y-you to leave again." To leave him. He had felt so lonely without him here and after Ghoulian had got imprisoned it had made everything far worse. He had really felt like he was all alone again not having anyone to turn to, and so scared. Debiru had thought Mr Kuromiya had left him for good, that he had done something wrong which had chased him away. He had thought he never would get to see him again.

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    EISUKE KUROMIYA

    YOU KEEP THE SUNSHINE

    SAVE ME THE RAIN

    silver jaguar - adult male - the exiles - Prodigy of the Exiles


    Feelings had always been overwhelming for Eisuke. He had gone without them for so long, just an empty shell, that they hit him way harder than they should now that he could feel them. And that's why something as simple as just hearing Debiru fucking talk to him made his heart ache in happiness. As he stood there listening to everything the husky had to say, he couldn't help but take note of the fact that this was the most he had ever said to Eisuke in just one go. The jaguar had thought that the canine was pulling away from him and he'd fully been expecting avoidence and excuses. Instead... Instead Debiru had caught him completely off guard by doing the exact opposite.


    Just hearing him speak so openly felt like an acomplishment unlike anything the silver feline had ever felt before, and if Deb hadn't been so clearly shaken up and trembling and crying then Eisuke might have smiled. He couldn't be happy though, not when the canine was so out of sorts about everything. And while Eisuke had no idea how to solve emotional problems or how to support a friend, he felt compelled to try, to reward Debirus honesty and forewardness with whatever he could. And maybe, if he was being honest with himself, he saw their vulnerability as a chance to get closer. Debiru hadn't pushed him away after the incident with Ghoulian, and he wanted that to be true for now, too.


    "Hey.. none of this is your fault Deb. I know you think it is, but you have to understand.." he'd say as he went the rest of the way to him, afraid of the rejection but dying to be closer. His approach was slow, meaningful, and when the distance between them was all but gone he'd gently pull the canine closer against his chest, a strong arm wrapping around their shoulders. "Cory and Ghoulian have been dealing with their own baggage since before you even came here and it was bound to get out of hand eventually. I'm just sorry you had to be there to see it happen. And Ghoulian chose to stay. He's no newbie, he knew what it would mean. You can't hold yourself responsible for his choices."


    He didn't expect his words to sway them, but he hoped they could offer even the tiniest bit of relief to Debirus suffering. No matter how hard Debiru had begged and pleaded with the ex medic, nobody had put a gun to Ghoulians head. He could have just as easily kept up their friendship from afar if he'd left, but he'd stayed because on a deeper level, Ghoulian didn't want to leave, and Deb couldn't blame himself just because the Exiler was so attatched to this place.


    And Cory, well, there wasn't much he could offer Deb that would help him overcome his fears of the wyvern. Cory could be a scary guy sometimes, his unpredictability a terror for someone like Debiru. The leader could go from being a protective mother hen to the hellish dragon he was in a heartbeat, and while it didn't bother Eisuke so much, he knew that for Deb and even Ghoulian it had been a difficult thing to accept. They were Exilers though, this was just what they did. Even Eisuke would have defended his right to make a capture or partake in a torture, so he couldn't rebuke Corrupttimelines for doing it as well.


    The bathroom held the same issue for Eisuke, in the sense that there was nothing he could do to comfort them about it either. No words would wipe that experience from the huskys mind and he knew without a doubt tha any attempt at doing so would be pointless. All he could do was hug him a little tighter, which he did. "I know. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."


    He hated having to say those words. It was admitting openly to his failure, to the one thing he'd promised to do for the other. 'I'll protect you.' Eisuke had said those words, hadn't they? And yet here Debiru was, crying and scared and Eisuke had completely failed him.


    But then Deb was talking about that night again, and the jaguar felt a frown tug at his lips as the husky spoke about not wanting anyone to get hurt because of them. A promise like that... it wasn't something Eisuke was prepared to make or keep. He knew that when he saw the person who'd done this that he would lash out, there was no way he wouldn't. He knew that Debiru didn't want to be the cause of anyones suffering, but that wasn't okay for grey eyed warrior. It wasn't okay that someone could hurt them and get away with it scott free. It wasn't okay that Deb should have to suffer while their attacker went on without any pain of their own. More so, perhaps most importantly of all to Eisuke, it wasn't okay that someone could ignore Eisukes warnings so blatantly and choose to do as they pleased with someone that was his. They taken the most important thing he had and fucking shattered it like it was nothing but commong trash and that was inexscusable. If he didn't make an example of this offender, then what would stop anyone else from tormenting the yellow eyed boy?


    He knew there was no way to make Deb understand this, though. Eisuke was hardwired differntly from them. He was a predator, and alpha, and there were just instincts in him that couldn't be ignored no matter how badly he tried.


    "And I don't want you to get hurt because of someone else." he muttered darkly, the soft spoken words mainly meant for himself. Coulddn't Debiru see that Eisuke felt the same way, only about him? That it made the jaguar sick to his stomach to think that the husky might be suffering at the hands of someone else? No, Deb never seemed to think about his own well being. Did he even realize how much Eisuke liked having him around?


    He sighed softly, breathing in the scent of the other and feeling more at ease than he had since before he'd left. Deb was warm and soft and small, everything Eisuke wasn't. Well, maybe he was warm, but that was only because being so close to Deb made him feel like he was on fire- but in a good way. Especiall when they said things like that.


    "d-don't want y-you to leave again."


    It caught him by surprise, because he really hadn't thought it mattered. Hadn't thought that it meant anything to Debiru. He had always assumed he was an obsticle in the canines way, a hurdle that kept him from his freedom and from leaving a place he hated so much. It had never crossed his mind that the other might actually rely on his presene for some sort of comfort. And for the first time in all of it, Eisuke wondered if Debiru had been a little afraid, a little sad. Had he been worried that Eisuke wouldn't come back? Had he missed the jaguars awkward and blunt affections?


    He felt like it couldn't be true. There was no way Debiru had felt any of those things, had he? And yet he couldn't push the sickening hope that swelled painfully in his chest, that maybe he had been missed, had been wanted.


    "I-i won't. I won't leave again." he stumbled at first in his words, not out of hesitation but out of something else. There was this lump in his throat that he couldn't force down, some pleasant ache in his chest that made him feel like he wanted to explode. Was this happiness? Hope? He didn't know. There were still so many feelings he had never experienced and it was hard to place what he was feeling. All he could think about was how Debiru didn't want him to leave again. He wanted him to stay.


    "I promise. I won't ever leave you behind like that again, okay?" And this time, his words were steadier, held the conviction he felt. He hadn't meant to make Debiru feel like they'd been abandoned, and he wouldn't let it happen again.


    He bit his lower lip in thought as he wondered what to do now. He didn't want them to be upset, to feel scared and alone, but he didn't know what he should do to help. Was there some special gesture friends made in times like these? Something he was supposed to do? He wished he knew. All he could really do was what came naturally, and to him it was his bluntness. He wanted Deb to know how he felt more clearly, and this was the only way he knew how to do that.


    Pulling back from the other he'd lift a paw to carefully wipe their cheeks dry, still as close as he could be without blocking their view of each other. "I.. I like being with you, Debiru. You make me feel... alive." he explained, trying to choose his words carefully. "Whenever I see you I can't help but want to be closer. And... I don't want you to go away again either." He didn't want the boy to hide from him anymore, didn't want him to feel so afraid that he wouldn't even socialize. There were so many new clanmates. He was almost certain that Deb could make friends with some of them, that he could find days of happiness and light-heartedness. Life was nothing if you spent it alone and afraid, and he didn't want that for the husky. Somehow, he had to find a way for Debiru to regain his confidence.


    "I..I want to make you smile. I don't want you to have to hide in your own home. I know your still afraid of this place, but I don't want that fear to paralyze you and ruin your life. What can I do, to help make you smile again?" Because he would do anything -anything- short of sending them away, if it meant they might feel better. Eisuke wasn't dumb, he didn't expect Debiru to just get over what had happened or to forget his troubles, but if there was something Eisuke could do to help ease that suffering, to make them feel safer and happier, he'd do it.


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    Debiru had never opend himself up like this to anyone before. He had always been this quiet little boy how bottled everything up inside of him while smiling to everyone else around them. He had used to smile alot in the past but most of the times they had been all meaningless, using it more to please the people around them because he hadn't wanted to be a burden. He had always been worried over others opinions on him but what he was the most terrified of was for people to leave him. Every since his guardian parents London and Chesspieces had walked out from his life Debiru had always thought he most have done something wrong, that he had done something that had made them not want him anymore. It was there his low self-esteem came from. Why he was focusing more to please others then his own feelings just so they wouldn't leave him. That was why he never cried in public, why he always bottled things up inside of him because maybe if he was uncomplicated and never tried to cause trouble they wouldn't leave him behind?. If he was good and always behaved then maybe someone would stay.


    This time though it had become to much for him to bottle everything up in fear that Eisuke would run out of his life like his guardian parents had. The fear had become to powerful this time that all of his emotions had exploded out from him. Just the idea of Mr Kuromiya growing tired of him or even starting to hate him suffocated him with terror. He couldn't stand that thought, didn't wanted to lose him too like with everyone else. Debiru had already lost to many importand people in his life. Breakout,Julian,Dorian, his parents...and he couldn't help to think all of it had been his fault. It always was and he seriously believed there most be something wrong with himself. No matter how much he tried he always seemed to be doing something wrong.


    That was why he was crying now, unable to stop himself because he had bottled everything up for a such long time. To long. There was only some few people how ever had seen the young husky cry like this, to see him completely broke down into this sobbing mess.


    It was difficult for him to hear when somebody said it wasn't his fault because if that was true then why was everyone always leaving him for?. All he seemed to do was hurting people, in one or an other way. So Eisuke's words had little comfort to him, at first, not noticing when the exiler got closer towards him, so very carefully as well. It made him unprepared for that hug, when Eisuke pulled him in closer against his chest so he could rest his leg around him. Debiru hadn't realised it until he already was in the others embrace to get secured like this. Maybe for a second he had tensed up but he quickly would have relaxed again if so easily submitting himself to the hug but not because he felt forced to but because he liked it. This was the first time he had been this close to Mr Kuromiya before, to get embraced by him in this way and he felt so warm. So very warm, and it was comforting, feeling so safe all of the suddenly inside of his arms. It brought him closer to them instinctively, and Debiru would borrow his face into the jaguars much bigger chest so he could cry into it.


    This time when Eisuke contunie to speak what he had started to say his words was being heared better by the husky, possible so because he was so much closer to him now, and just being allowed to be this close to him right now brought him alot of comfort. Debiru might not like it special much when just anyone touched him but it was different when it was from someone he felt comfortable with. It was far different when Cory had tried to touch him back then, or when Leviathan had, from now when Mr Kuromiya did. If only the jaguar knew how much Debiru secretly desired this. On how much he had wanted Eisuke to hold him or just to touch him like he usual did every since he had come back.


    " But..but.." he started to protest lowly when he got told he couldn't take responsibility of Ghoulian's choices or for him deciding to stay. He didn't agree with it, still thinking he could have done more for his friend and because he hadn't instead being selfish this had to be his fault. But he also thought about that Ghoulian had told him the same thing when he had brought it up, that this wasn't his fault.But how could it not be?. Why didn't they blame him more for?. Why did they contunie to protect his cowardice?. " W-What if he k-kills him?..." That was his biggest fear. What if Cory decided to kill Ghoulian?. That was just something he couldn't ignore and he didn't wanted that to happen. That was why he couldn't stop take this upon his own shoulders knowing he never could forgive himself if his friend got killed. Ghoulian's life rested on his shoulders.


    He just couldn't understand why Cory was doing this towards his own people just because they disapproved of his decisions. Why did people have to feel like they always was the one how was right? and when someone not agreed with them had to punish them for it?. All of this violence, he just couldn't understand why people prefered to use thier claws and teeths instead of talking to one other. Debiru had always tried to understand this nature and he had done his very best attempt to do so knowing people hurt others because someone at some point had hurt them as well, but still...why couldn't they listen for?. What brought Cory to be the way he was?The same with Leviathan...both of them where just the same. Hurting others...


    Debiru had endured abuse before. What Leviathan had done towards him just added more abuse into his life but it was never more easier then the first time. He had suffered through a great amount of trauma in his life and for him it was never easy to talk about. He had never told anyone about the trauma he had gone through once again bottling everything up to keep his pain to himself. Thinking back on that bathroom, to what Leviathan had done always made him feel sick inside. He hadn't even been able to visit that bathroom since then refusing to step his paw in there since he knew he wouldn't be able to take it. It was to painful still, to fresh and he wished he never had to see that lupurca ever again. Debiru's sobbing had died down if only for a little bit now as he felt Mr Kuromiya tighten his grip around him which made him rest one of his paws against the exiler's chest mostly for his own comfort but also because he wanted to give something in return. " You're h-here now."he would mumble softly and for him that was all that mattered right now.


    Eisuke might have mumbled out this words maybe hoping the husky wouldn't have heared them but it was rather hard for Debiru to not have catch up on this words when he was being so close to them right now...He acknowledged that dark tone the jaguar suddenly had in thier voice when mumbling out how much they disliked to see someone hurt him. Perhaps Debiru hadn't thought about Eisuke's own feelings up until now but that was because Debiru wasn't used with people to care not enough of wanting to hurt someone for him, or that it pained them to see him suffering. He had focused so much on to cover all of his pain up that when something as traumatizing like this actually happen to him that not even him could hide behind a smile had completely failed to think about his friend own feelings...He had been to stuck up with his own suffering and pain to completely push aside to even take a second to think about how this most effect Eisuke because he knew he cared. He had showed him that before, even admitting he was special to him and even if Debiru not knew how deep this words actually reached had acknowledged that Eisuke thought of him as an importand friend. It was just hard for him to let it sink in that someone cared enough about him like this. But more so to get used to.Especially right now when he didn't even know if Eisuke wanted to be his friend anymore.


    By this point Debiru had completely stopt sobbing falling into a silence for a moment as he processed all of this and felt guilt strike his heart over how careless he had been when thinking about thier friend feelings. " I-I'm sorry, it was s-selfish of me to s-say it like that." he would softly say but strangely it also made him feel a bit relieved because this meant he still cared right?. If he had hated him wouldn't have cared what Leviathan had done towards him, and he wouldn't hold him like this right now...right?.


    It was like a heavy stone got lifted of from the siberian husky shoulders when Eisuke confirmed he wasn't going to leave him again, that he promised he wouldn't leave like that again. That ensured him everything he needed to know right now, even if it only were words that easily could get broken the next day during that moment Debiru didnt care.It was trustworthy enough for him. The way Eisuke had said it made him believable and he was just glad he had said them. Nodding his head to them to let him know he had heared them would nuzzle his cheek into his chest feeling alot better by just knowing Mr Kuromiya wouldn't leave him like his parents had. " Okay."


    Debiru could have stayed like this forever with him, just the two of them there he got embraced by the other. For him this where one of his most precious moments with him and it made him a bit disappointed when Eisuke eventually decided to pull himself away from him because the husky would have liked to stay like this with him longer. But since he was obident by nature wouldn't protest against it, and as he glanced up at him would start to blush when the exiler touched his face so they could wipe away thier tears. It made his heart start to skip faster, seating so dangerously close to him right now which really was making it difficult for him to think about anything else. However, it didn't stop the other to say all of this things to him and Debiru got completely startled by it all. His cheeks heated up even more, his heart starting to race alot faster and so many emotions were going through him right now. Eisuke really knew how to make him flustered, or to come up with words nobody else had ever said to him before. Like he was special and that he wanted to see him smile.But what suprised him the most was how open they where to him right now.


    Mr kuromiya didn't strike him like the sort of person how spoke openly about his feelings to others. He seemed a little bit distant, closed of even which was why Debiru always took it very seriously whenever they shared something personal to them, or when he just wanted to be close to them. From the smallest of things to something as big like this one, Debiru always took it into his heart to fondly hold it there because it really meant alot to him. " I like b-being with you too..." he would say with his timid soft voice, and just saying this back to him made him feel butterflies in his stomach. It made him feel nervouse, being around Mr Kuromiya always made him feel nervouse and flustered but it wasn't a feeling he disliked even if he felt a little bit guilty for having them. " I d-don't mind having y-you close..." This time his whole face where burning lividly underneath his fur, and he was so flustered right now that his voice had got toned down to a whisper almost. By this point he couldn't even look at him so his eyes had shift away, feeling far to embarassed but also he was worried that Eisuke would hear how loudly his heart was beating right now. But he meant what he said. He didn't mind being a cuddle pillow to his friend if that was what he needed right now...even if his own heart might beat out from his chest because of it...


    How to make him smile more though...or for him to stop from hiding himself away from the other exilers. Debiru wasn't sure...about the last one anyway. He wasn't special brave and found it difficult to be around strangers especially hating the crowds...but if it was for Mr Kuromiya sake he could try to be a bit more out there even if he knew it would be very difficult for himself especially with Leviathan running around and Cory... " I will t-try.." he would mumble and twitched one of his ears a bit in anxiety before his head sank down a bit, his next words being played a bit on his tounge hesitantly. " I....w-would like to spend m-more time with you, w-when you aren't uhm, b-busy..." he replied to his question on how to make him feel better and more comfortable around here again. He really liked to spend time with Mr Kuromiya and wished he could do so more...but he had never wanted to ask him before knowing he was busy with his duties and all. That was why asking this really took alot of his courage to ask for something as selfish like this. But it did would make him feel alot better if he got to spend more time with him, and maybe it would make him smile more too.


    // ghaaa, this took me over four hours to write xD

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