maybe this could work || p, nettle

.Nettlepaw.

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As the days when by, Lilykit's anxiety went up. She was five moons old, almost of the age to be an apprentice. Almost. While most of the kits would be whining about how they still have a month to go and wishing for the days to go faster, she wanted them to stop. She didn't want to be an apprentice. Her hunting and fighting skills were probably mediocre at best. And everything out there in the world seemed frighting. She didn't want to disappoint the clan but was scared of even trying. She didn't know how she was going to make it.

There was a pit in her stomach as she paced around the camp, dreading the day she becomes an apprentice. What if she makes a fool of herself? What is she couldn't do anything. Oh how she wished she could just stay a kit. But the thing was, the whole clan thought she was a mute anyways so what does she have to lose? Well that's just it. She wanted to prove to them that she could do something, that she was capable. But at this rate, it seemed unlikely. They might as well just keep her as a kit forever.

As she walked around, she spotted the medicine cat den. An idea popped in her head. Nettlekit. The fellow kit was a lot like her. He was quiet too and not interested in being a warrior apprentice. Although, she was more quiet because of her fear of the world unlike him, they shared a lot of similarities. She walked into the den and spotted Nettlekit studying the herbs as usual. She wished she could be him. He seemed like he could be the next medicine cat apprentice. Oh well, maybe this would push her to make a warrior out of herself. But she did wish she could study the herbs with him. "H-hey Nettlek-kit. How, um, are you?" Lilykit mustered up the courage to talk to the kit. She wanted to rant a bit, to talk to another cat who understood her. The fact that Nettlekit was known to be a good listener helped ease her mind.

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Lilykit understood his nonverbal responses. She smiled as Nettlekit nudged her face. The small gesture was enough for her. She knew that the kit, like her, was very quiet. She sat down, next to the fellow kit and looked at the herbs.

There were so many. Maybe if she became a medicine cat apprentice, she could sit here all day memorizing the herbs. It would get her mind off of everything and keep her away from any conversation. Then she wouldn't have to be worried about being a warrior apprentice or having to be braver.

This whole journey to become more open and more brave was taking a toll on the kit. She was so tired of talking. It took so much energy out of her to find the courage to approach other cats and form words. They were so hard. And her words never came out right. They were always a jumble of sounds that didn't make much sense. She could never finish a sentence in a timely manner. It took her forever to speak.

Looking over at Nettlekit, she sighed. Many cats say that talking can get some things off of your chest so she was going try. She just hoped that Nettlekit wasn't going to get bored or judge her for her taking so long to finish her though. "I-i, um.., well.., I don't, want, um, want to be an, ap-pprentice. I'm so s-scared. What I-if I-i'm, um, a d-disap-pointment?" She hung her head. There was no way she was going to be a good apprentice. She would never become a brave warrior.

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Lilykit looked up to see Nettlekit shaking his head. He seemed to disagree with what she had to say. His reaction gave Lilykit a little bit of courage. Maybe if he believed in her, she could believe in herself too. Maybe she would be a decent apprentice. Even if she would never speak normally or be as brave as everyone else, maybe she could work around it. Instead of dragging the clan down, she might even be able to help it.

Those were still some bold statements. She would have to survive her apprenticeship first. If only she could choose her mentor. She wanted to choose the kindest warrior. But she had to believe that Eaglestar knew what she was doing. She had to know how frail Lilykit was and she had to think that she would match her with a gentler mentor. She wouldn't know how to handle herself around a meaner mentor.

But maybe it isn't her mentor she should be worried about, maybe it's the other apprentices. Lilykit only knew a few of the apprentices right now and there was only a handful of them who were nice to her or spoke to her. She also barely knew any of the kits. The only kit she ever talked to was Nettlekit. The other kits usually ignored her but that might change when they start sparring. They might make fun of her for being so scared of everything. The thought frightened her a little.

Nettlekit's gift gave her some hope again. She smiled graciously at the gift, showing that she was appreciative of the support. Maybe they would be apprentices together. That would be fun. They could support each other and defend each other, to a degree. Lilykit would try but she would probably end up failing. Maybe they would even have the same mentor. "Wh-what if we trained together? Wouldn't that be great?" Lilykit thought about it wistfully.

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Lilykit looked down at the herbs. There was a part of her that wanted to be a medicine cat. She was far to shy to be a true warrior. At least in her mind. She was working on being braver but that was going to take a while. Maybe being a medicine cat could be her path. While she never volunteered to help anyone because of her fear of others, she would always linger around, hoping that someone would ask if she could help.

She tilted her head, trying to make sense of what all of the different leaves, flowers, seeds, etc did. There were so many. How was one supposed to remember all of these? She sniffed a random plant and wrinkled her nose. It smelled a little weird. “T-that’s st-trange!” she said, pawing at the herb, wondering if it smelled weird because it was poisonous or just because all herbs are that way