Hidden fires | P | Briarheart

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    NETTLEKIT

    the stinging silence

    Nettlekit slowy padded out of the nursery into the larger cave to have a better view on his surroundings and more things to think about other than what the kits and queens are talking about. The stories were interesting, sometimes the kittens boasted about what they heard on the meetings, the queens talked about the latest rumors within the forest. But the lack of sunshine, which he used to have a lot of when they would take strolls with their Mom, was beginning to show. He slowly snuck around the edge of the cave, getting closer to the entrance with every step, before a shadow leaped in front of him and stopped him in his tracks. The kit surprisedly stumbled backwards before stopping and perking up his ears.

    // BRIARHEART

    ◆◇◆ The shadow was none other than Briarheart, moving quickly like a thief in the night. She skidded to a halt in front of Nettlekit, pale hazel eyes narrowed on the young tom who had joined their ranks not long before. She’d just come back from a solo patrol — though was that any surprise, considering she was always alone? — and had caught the kitten inching closer to the cave mouth. She wasn’t sure if he knew the rules, given that he’d grown up outside of their Clan, but now would be as good a time as any to inform him that kits were not permitted to leave camp, as tempting as it was. She remembered a small escapade of herself and her brother, and the trip her mother took her on to see her family in BloodClan for the first time. A small frown etched itself into the warrior’s maw as she gestured for Nettlekit to follow her back into the safety of their camp. Those were much simpler times, back when her parents still lived... and Lilykit. “Kits are not permitted to leave camp under any circumstance. It’s dangerous out there, especially in leafbare. You can leave once you become an apprentice, with a warrior escort of course,” she said as she walked, not even glancing over her shoulder.

    NETTLEKIT

    the stinging silence

    Nettlekit flattened his ears against his head, looking up at the stern face of the warrior. He really felt pretty embarrassed as he never tried for a stunt like this before, and he would never want to break the rules. He knew them, of course, the queens informed him soon enough so he wouldn't do something stupid such as this. He really didn't even want to go far into the territory, just a few leaps out of the cave, it wasn't really about alone time, but he was used to different things and felt uncomfortable having to stay inside all the time.


    He strolled besides the older cat, energetically putting one paw in front of the other in an attempt to keep up with her. Mom used to take them on trips. From the back yard, which itself was nice to be in and roll on the fresh grass, a few steps into the forest, just to experience the bark crunching under your paws, to see the colorful autumn leaves. Now in leafbare there were no leaves, but Nettlekit still missed it. And the worst thing was because of that one trip, Mom was no longer there to take care of him, to talk to him, to laugh at him. She used to be so sweet, like honeycomb, exactly like a honeycomb.


    He hadn't really met many sweet cats here yet. Some were kind, some were good-hearted, but he missed the connection and the stories and her warm white pelt. He didn't let it out though, just walking with a drooped tail and sad eyes, waiting until he was ordered to go into the nursery. He really wouldn't go out into the forest, he knew how dangerous it was. His back was still healing. He just wanted to relive something he knew he wouldn't be able to get back... he didn't want to forget.

    ◆◇◆ Briarheart finally glanced over to see the kit desperately attempting to keep up with her as they walked further into camp. He didn’t say anything. In fact, she wasn’t sure she’d ever heard a peep out of him, but it seemed as though he was waiting for her to dismiss him. She figured as soon as she finished talking he’d rush off to play, but instead, he was standing there with his tail pinned close to his legs and a sad look in his eyes. She rolled her eyes a little, figuring he was probably trying to pull on her heartstrings with that look. It was a good thing she didn’t have any regarding children. For the most part, they were a nuisance, and she’d only ever liked Eaglestar’s kits. Even then, she liked them better now that they were apprentices. Yet, something about Nettlekit’s face did pull at something. Not heartstrings, perhaps. She didn’t like children, she wanted nothing to do with them, and she certainly didn’t want to play mother, but perhaps his face pulled on those maternal instincts. They’d finally awakened, much to her chagrin.


    Letting out an exasperated sigh, she positioned herself fully in front of Nettlekit. “You don’t talk much, do you, kid?” she asked, tipping her head at him. She knew a few muted who had passed through DarkClan in her day. Lilykit was so shy that she hardly ever spoke to anyone but their family. She knew she would probably get no verbal response from the tom, kits were stubborn like that, but it didn’t hurt to try. “Why such the long face, huh? If it’s about not being able to leave camp, it isn’t that exciting this time of year anyway. Just snow, ice, mud, and bare trees. It’s more beautiful any other time of the year.”

    NETTLEKIT

    the stinging silence

    Nettlekit didn't exactly know what to do when the warrior asked. The first thing that came to his mind was regret though. He should've just kept smiling, that wouldn't have led to awkward questions he couldn't answer. He just got a bit lost in thought... he should've guarded his thoughts better.


    He glanced up at her, listening to her talking about weather. Weather, the best thing to talk about when you don't know someone. The tabby didn't really want to even go out that much, it was just the fact he missed how things used to be. He wasn't used to change, he wasn't supposed to feel change. He recalled his mother telling him the stories about her life that were full of change, but just said it sounded so much more exciting, so much more harmless. He didn't know change would come so soon and in such a form. He didn't like it. He wanted his sister. He wanted to go home.


    But he didn't have any home other than this one.


    He felt lost in his feelings. And he couldn't even speak.


    He came over to the black cat and put his head against her fur. It wasn't like he wanted a mom. This cat didn't even really look all of that interested. It was just he needed someone. He let out a quiet whimper and a sob, but that was about all he could. He didn't know if she'd understand. And at that point, he didn't really care. Her pelt was a bit spiky but it seemed soft to him. Everything about her was the opposite of Diamond- the color of her pelt, the way she acted. But he still felt like he wanted her to curl her tail around him and tell him things were alright. He couldn't control himself. He was just a kit after all.

    ◆◇◆ She did not sign up for this. She did not sign up for this. She did not sign up for this. Her sole purpose of even speaking to Nettlekit had been to discourage him from leaving camp, and then she'd given in to certain instincts and asked about his wellbeing. Now the child was pressed up against her pelt and was sobbing quietly into her fur. She looked around for help from anyone, but of course in that moment, it was like only the two of them were left in the camp. She was entirely alone on this one, and she'd be an awful cat if she let him cry on his own. You've done worse, Briar, she told herself. She'd killed someone once, yet now she couldn't bring herself to part with this kit. She awkwardly patted his head with her paw and cleared her throat. "I-It's okay, Nettlekit," she said, cringing at the tightness in her voice. StarClan, she was so bad at this! "Can you tell me what's wrong? You don't have to speak it just... communicate it somehow. I nor anyone else can help you if we don't know how." A lame attempt, but she'd be a terrible cat if she did nothing. Affection wasn't her strong suit, it never had been, but surely there were other solutions than cuddling.

    NETTLEKIT

    the stinging silence

    There were surely better timed for him to break down. He backed up a bit, not allowing himself to sob any more, and looked up at the older warrior. Perhaps he could try, but it would be really hard to understand without words. He put his paw into a bit of dirt and then removed, leaving a small pawprint. Them he tried to draw a bigger one next to it. I miss mom was of course the message, but he didn’t know how intelligible the drawings were. He waited a bit, then crossed out the bigger paw with his small claw. He looked up at Briarheart and waited for an answer.

    ◆◇◆ Her dull green eyes watched as Nettlekit drew in the fine dirt, etching out his feelings. He drew a small paw print with a bigger one next to it, which he crossed out with his little paw. Briarheart stared for a long moment, before her eyes briefly ignited with the realization of the kit’s dilemma. The smaller paw print was him, the larger was a parent — probably a mother — and he had crossed it out to show she wasn’t around anymore. She tipped her head to the side. “You miss your mother?” she asked curiously. How did she deal with this? She was no expert on kittens…


    But she did know what it was like to lose her parents at this age. “You wanna know something? I miss my mom, too. And my dad,” she said. She curled her tail around her paws in front of the kit. “My father was killed by a ShadowClan cat when I was four moons old. My mother left Owlgaze and I all on our own. When she returned two moons later, it was to say her goodbyes, because a sharptooth had fatally wounded her,” she explained. “It’s hard to be without them. Some days, it feels like I can’t breathe, but this Clan will take care of you. They’ll be your family. It may not be something you can believe now at your age because you still need your mom, but when you’re older, you’ll realize that every cat in this place is like your family. They’ll love and protect you with their lives, they’ll be your best friends. It may never be the same, but you’ll be happy here with us. I promise. And your mom will always be with you — here,” Briarheart concluded, by pressing her paw to the kit’s chest.

    NETTLEKIT

    the stinging silence

    Nettlekit nodded at the other cat's question, glad she understood. It was hard to realize and process the fact she just wasn't with himanymore, and they couldn't communicate, just like it was hard for him to communicate with other cats now. He missed it, he missed talking. As Briarheart went on, his heart melted a bit- she knew the struggle?


    Yes. Family. That... she was right. He didn't think about that that way before. She was in the clan, she knew the pain. And... she was alright? Her Dad got also killed by another cat? He heard from the queend about other clans too. Was ShadowClan like a bad clan? That didn't really matter. What did was that Briarheart was there and that the clan was there for him.


    Spiderpaw... Owlgaze... Lilykit, Smolderingpaw, Storkpaw, the queens. They were all there for him. All like family. And Briarheart too now, willing to sacrifice her time firstly to keep him safe, and secondly to make him feel better. He understood she wasn't the touchy type, as her tail and body language suggested, and that was alright. She was a nice cat, a good cat. He wouldn't mind having her as a mentor in the future. She was a clan cat, and in a way he wanted to be like her. So that Mom would be proud of him.


    He erased the bigger paw, and drew a heart with his claw around him and the empty space. Eyes full of sad gratitude, he tilted his head at the older cat.

    ◆◇◆ Briarheart didn’t know how she had done it, but somehow she had helped Nettlekit make some sort of connection he’d needed. Maybe it was the relatability of her situation to his own, or maybe she’d finally said the right words for once, but he seemed receptive of what she said, comforted even. It made her feel good to know that she had diffused his utter loneliness and sadness. Maybe not completely, but somewhat. She watched as he drew a heart around his paw and she nodded. Whether he meant that as his Clan now being his family, or that his mother lived in his heart, she wasn’t sure but both realizations were progress. Maybe one day, they’d even get him to talk.


    “There you go. You’re never alone here in DarkClan. You have a whole group of cats to raise you now,”     she said, even managing a smile as Nettlekit looked up at her. She felt the sudden desire to protect him from all harm, and cursed those maternal instincts inside of her that clashed with her inability to show much affection. She would protect from afar, and watch his kithood with great interest. Storkpaw would be taking her trials soon. Maybe he could be her potential next apprentice.