today was his first real day as an apprentice. his mentor had told him that they were to go on a hunting trip with another npc apprentice and their mentor. sounds simple enough, right? wrong. there were too many opportunities for failure on his part. what if he tripped? what if he messed up the hunter's crouch? what if he stepped on a twig? what if, what if, what if. that's all he ever thought about, wasn't it? the what if's of a scenario, possibility after possibility playing out in his head, a sickening soap opera of his imagined blunders.
the fear had already settled into his bones as they headed out into the territory. littlepaw took up the rear, listening in miserable silence to the happy chattering of the npc apprentice and the distant birdsong that announced morning's arrival. he didn't speak, per usual. his lips remained firmly shut, drawn into a thin line that tilted downwards. the others on the patrol would try to spark a conversation with him ever so often, out of courtesy or pity, he couldn't tell. but their attempts would all be met with silence.
his mentor motioned for them to stop, turning around and whispering something about there being a frog up ahead. "littlepaw, why don't you try to catch it? it'll be good practice." dread seized littlepaw when eyes turned onto him, every muscle in his body tensing. oh no, oh no, oh no, i'm gonna fail, i'm gonna mess it up somehow, they're all going to see me fail. "i-i-" he wanted to say no, pick someone else to do it, he wasn't ready. his mouth snapped shut with an audible clack, swallowing down his complaints. he couldn't say no, could he? his mentor had told him to do something, now he had to do it. if he didn't, he'd surely get in trouble, and that was one of the last things he wanted to happen. what would his mother think if he got in trouble on his first hunting trip?
he shuffled forwards, forcing his body to lower into a sloppy hunting crouch. every hair stood on end as everyone's gaze watched his every move, picking apart all of his mistakes. he was sure that even the birds were looking, laughing at him, scrutinizing him. it was all too much.
the world begun to spin around him, all too sudden for him to realize what was going on. all he knew was that he felt like he was dying. his breaths came in ragged gasps, trying to fight through the overwhelming pressure on his chest that was suffocating him. the frog was long gone by now, it's life spared for one more day thanks to his fuck up. the petite boy collapsed to the ground, instinctively curling in on himself and wrapping his tail tight around him as uncontrollable sobs racked his body. he'd failed, just as he predicted. he was stupid, worthless, a waste of effort on his mentor's behalf.
his mentor had rushed over to his side at some point, but littlepaw could barely make out any of his words over the sound of his rapidly beating heart.