• This is a super rough topic for me to ever talk about and some people have even called me cold over it. Mainly, because it's just really difficult for me to talk about. Most of my young adult life and early to late childhood was spent suppressing my emotions. Otherwise my parents would spin a tale about how horrible of a kid I was and how ungrateful I could be. All because I was seeking comfort from them.


    My younger sister passed away in '05 when I was about 5-6 years old from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) in 08' my parents moved to Mississippi unable to handle being there anymore and for my dad to get a better job (wasn't the whole truth but that is irrelevant) Around '12 & '13 my older brother was mortally injured in a long boarding accident while holding on to the back of car. He was injured on his birthday and passed away about two weeks later from brain death & injury. I was about 13 years old and it left me with one sibling. My little brother.


    Long story short - my parents are miserable & terrible people. I convinced my mother to FINALLY leave my dad and a lot of family friends helped her move back up to Idaho (that's where I am from) where all of her family is that can help take care of her and my brother. What does my dad do? Gets a train ticket and hops his happy ass up there. Of course - he's a warrant of the state (mind you this was the 'whole truth' ordeal) but the judge went easy and gave him one year parole. So now they can be together & happy up there while i'm stuck in this miserable place.


    Albeit, i'm okay with that 100% because at least I don't have to be anywhere near my parents and that makes me so happy. Except - my little brother. Today is his birthday, and it's just been completely depressing for me. I miss him so so so damn much... There are so many things I regret not doing for him or saying to him. I wish I didn't have t be so self-absorbed but my parents practically pried it out of me. Some days I just hope he can forgive me and that he doesn't think I abandoned him. I hope my god awful days like today are really good days for him.


    Happy birthday little brother and I hope it's a really good one. I miss you so fucking much.