Without you I couldn't keep my head straight!
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❝ But we're a million worlds apart.... ❞
— Firedawn, Warrior of Shadowclan
She would flinch slightly as his yell, and her ears would flatten against her head as she hurriedly wiped her tears away and turned to face her mate, shame and guilt clearly written all over her face and body language. "Flaxenglare.....I.." She couldn't help the tears that sprung up again and she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze as she stared intently at the moss between her paws, "I know I shouldn't go.....I know it's dangerous...But you don't understand..." Her voice strained as she fought to find the right words to express how she was feeling. She didn't want Flaxenglare to misunderstand and think she was just some 'throw caution to the wind and be a hero' type. "I just....I want to show that I'm actually useful around here....That I take my oath seriously when I promised to Sorrelstar and the rest of Shadowclan that I would fight for our home. For our kits home...." She would finally gather the courage to face her beloved and her vibrant green hues were almost pleading for him to understand, "I know volunteering for this particular mission was horrible. And I promise to remain here where it's safe.....But....what have I really done for Shadowclan since I joined?....All I've ever done is decorate nests and stay in camp....I can't even remember the last patrol I went on.." She knew it sounded pathetic, and she looked away once more as if waiting for Flaxenglare to point out how ridiculous she was being and that she was better off here in the nursery and not out there.
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—— FLAXENGLARE ——
Soon to be King
He didn't like yelling at her like that. The second the roar left his lips - despite the justification he felt - shame and self-anger burst inside him like an open wound. Quickly, he was pressing his forehead against hers, especially when she began crying. "I'm sorry - " he begins, but she drowns him out with her explanation. His heart aches for her, understanding completely what she meant. Firedawn wasn't a lazy cat. She was kind and selfless, and everything she did was to help cats and he could imagine she must be suffering being stuck in a den, coddled and tended to when the rest of her clanmates were off fighting bears.
He pulls her face back towards him and licks her nose to calm her fears.
"You won't be pregnant forever Firedawn, you'll be back at it sooner than you think" he tells her, at first chiding but then he softens again. He pulls her close, pressing his chin on the top of her head. "I get it. If I were you, i'd be tearing my ears off pissed that I can't do what's right - " he quickly adds, "what feels right. But you have to understand -" It killed my mom, "you're not...you can't fight, not when you have kits" I watched my mother die "and I know you're impatient, and those...silly insecurities of yours are bothering you again" If I let you go - let you die "but you can't, you hear me? You can't" I can't do it. I can't. "So stop- stop being stupid. You can, and you have, helped in many ways. Welcoming cats, helping queens, doing chores, eating and drinking for our kits - you're doing plenty" please don't, please don't you ever go near that bear.
"You understand?" he asks, breaking away from his tight hold to meet her gaze.
Please understand.
"Speech"
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❝ But we're a million worlds apart.... ❞
— Firedawn, Warrior of Shadowclan
Firedawn had thought she couldn't love this tom more then she already did. Yet here she was, burying her nose in his fur and listening to his words, and almost hearing his silent pleas. How selfish she had been....he had already lost his mother to this beast, how could she ask him to let her go and face it too. As she looked up at him, her emerald gaze would hold love and understanding, but fear would darken the shade ever so slightly as she placed a paw over his own, "I understand...I'm sorry I scared you." She would give his cheek a comforting lick and then seem to curl into his chest as she spoke once more, softer this time, "But I'm scared too.....I can't lose you Flaxenglare....you're my whole world..." She wanted to believe that her clanmates could face this bear. Would all come back unharmed and alive. She really really wanted to believe that. "So you have to promise me....promise me you'll come home to us...." She would hurt her face in his soft brown tabby fur, drinking in his scent as if it gave her strength and she would smile softly, "And kick that bears butt." It was an attempt to lighten their mood, but she remained pressed against him in an almost protective manner.
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—— FLAXENGLARE ——
Soon to be King
He didn't think he could love this girl more, and yet here he was again, surprised once more. In hindsight, he supposed he shouldn't be so shocked. Firedawn had always the kind of girl to understand him him. To look past the anger and see the truth. As she pressed into him, Flaxen thought about how often he did this to her...how unfair it all was. He couldn't keep expecting her to read between the lines, to guess what he was feeling. He had...he had to tell her. To trust her with the vulnerability she was never afraid to show him. If that meant working to break down his walls of arrogant pride...then so be it. Wrapping his tail tighly around her, "I won't, I swear" he tells her softly, smoothing the fur along her ears with gentle, comforting licks. "The patrol is massive Fire, I might not even get a chance to fight at all, so quit worrying...you're not getting rid of me just yet..." he's quiet, then he nuzzles into her ear, "Ill never leave you alone. I promise you that."
"Speech"
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❝ But we're a million worlds apart.... ❞
— Firedawn, Warrior of Shadowclan
A happy purr would rumble from her chest as he wrapped his tail around her and she would sigh softly in content. But not all of her worry was gone. It never would be. Perhaps that was the curse of being in love, that constant worry that your loved one would be hurt or worse. She shivered softly and looked up at him for a moment, her emerald gaze glowing with affection as she meowed softly, "If...if you're not leaving right away...could you rest with me?"