—— youre my mortal flaw, im your fatal sin | tags & information *:･ﾟ✦
Mention of blood, self harm from stress on accident. Mention of death and expect to cry. The developement was what shaped obsidianstorm to be who he is today. It wasnt exactly but close enough. machi. // 2030 words //
Obsidianstorm was 50 moons. 12 seasons. Hed lost count of the moons hed seen, how many stars sparkled above his head, and how many nights hed stared up at Starclan, cursing them for having him live such a horrible life... but was it really that horrible? Or was it all because of him?
a younger form of his sister stuck a grey nose into a bushel of flowers, her eyes closing as she inhaled the petals and let out a gentle breath. her blue eyes were soft, innocent. She was so happy to see the flowers, and not daring to let her walk alone after he escaped his fathers wrath, he would go with her. How many times did he complain and not want to go do the things his sister loved? How many gatherings did she miss, because he refused to be social. his blue gaze were hard and cold. They were twins, but he was formed so much differently. How did such a cold soul fit in a puzzle next to something so warm? And the warm sweep away before the cold?
Fear showed in her blue eyes when he yelled. "This what you wanted! Be loyal! Stop going against the leader, you said!" A growl formed in his throat, his pelt splattered with red liquid, and his form shaking from anger. Gasps and horror filled his clanmates, and cherrystar led him like a slave. And he followed like a good follower. Because that's what his sister originally wanted; and when coalstreak spit hatred, his gaze went red. Shook by anger, he stopped caring. He stopped caring about the lives of others, making them fear himself and the tyrant in his new position.
All he had to do was give someone a glance with his deadly gaze of pure hatred, and a cat would shudder. He was the executioner. He was the one they feared, until they were brought to cherrystar to disappear and not be seen again. There would be no funeral for this cat, only mournful cats around, praying to their gods.
His twin hung off the cliff, and he was so tempted to walk away from her on that rock cliff. Everything he had worked to protect, to keep safe, was dangling off warriors leap screaming for his help. The innocent eyes were held with fear, and he caused it. He did. Not his father, not another cat. HE did it.
Stress from the memories made his thick claws tear into the side of his head, blood dripping onto the black claws as he pierced through his grey ear and white head. He hadnt meant to inflict pain, but the monster endured so much memories of pain before happiness. His large body shook as he stood before his sister's grave, leaving before her flowers of her favorite kind. As always, he brought the same flowers to replace her old ones.
He was different now. He told himself, over and over, but he swore he still saw cats hold fear for him and kept their kits away because of what hes done. Whether it was in his head or not, he saw it. Pain lurched in his heart as the tom swore just that morning a female would glare at him and not break that stare that felt like he was pelted by daggers. "I changed..." he murmured, his stormy gaze closing to hide the tears that were starting to form.
When he closed his gaze, he was a child. "Father, why's mother cold?" A soft voice, quiet would break the tension in the air. the tom would not respond as obsidiankit would wrap his tail around his sister's as they stared helplessly at the bleeding out femme. Their blue eyes would sync to look at the giant before them, silent with rage. "It was YOUR fault," he spat, venom filling his words as he turned over to the kits. "If you were never born, she would have never got sick, do you understand me? Its Your fault." He shouldered through them, knocking them aside as he walked away, his tail lashing.
The soft, innocent kitten let out a sob, her breath quickened, and she went into an anxiety attack, curling into a tight ball as she kept repeating it was her fault. She killed her mother. And... sid knew not what to do. He couldnt cry. It would cause his sister to panic more. He was forced to be tough; the protective and strong big brother, despite being twins. His grey nose would touch her pelt, trying to comfort the shivering and cold femme, before covering her with moss and nuzzling next to her to keep the form warm.
Obsidianstorm gulped. From the beginning he had endured loss. His brother, flintkit, died at birth. His mother followed soon after. And, his father was never the same after the death of his mother.
He was gasping for breath, clumps of dirt covering the young forms sight as he faintly tried to stand up. A clump hit him, and he fell back over, his young form shaking in pain from his fathers training. Blood covered in dirt dripped out of his shoulder, and his cheek stung as it lay in the dirt. Half covered, before his father left him alone for the night. Thunder sounded, and his blue gaze closed as mud formed around his small weak frame. Even young as he was, he was enduring an abusive and dangerous training he couldnt escape from. His blues eyes were empty, lost, and pained. He missed his sister. He missed his clan. And he couldnt even say goodbye.
He never ever got the chance to say goodbye. "Why? Why? I hate you, you who decided to put me through this! Such misery!"
The siamese dropped to the ground, next to his sisters grave, blood dripping down the side of his head where he dug to try to distract his thoughts, which failed as images still flooded the elders mind.
A beautiful woman danced in his mind, remembering her black and white before her faded white and soft form. Shed bound foreward, push her head past her cheek and burying it into his neck, and hed purr. Even without her beautiful pelt of snow, shaved and clipped, she brought joy to his heart and made the monster smile, no matter what he said or did.
He saved someone. He made up for his mistakes in life, he saved so many cats... and... "I dont remember you." His gaze was blank, blinded by the rockfall that took away his memories. Lily star was so quiet and hesitant. If he could see, he was sure he would've broke down as she did inside. Why was she so much stronger than him? Why could she hide her emotions so well, except for the air around her? Why did he have to make so many cats suffer around him? "You... you hit your head in the rockfall saving a clanmate..." her voice trailed off, but even so sad, he found comfort in it.
He was so happy, coming to dusk sparks every day asking how the kits were, if hed eaten, if lily star was eating, and when the bundles were born, he swore he cried in happiness, nuzzling his grey nose into the kittens as they squealed from the cold touch. Ten kittens were born, and dusk sparks looked unwell. His comforting and lilys were able to help get the medicine cat through the process, ten kits being quite large for dusksparks very first litter.
But where did they all go? Obsidianstorm would never know how his children grew up. Their names were faint, distant and off, but he repeated the kits in his head, hoping, maybe they were around the camp and just hidden despite the hatred he felt that they may have passed on because he wasnt there to protect them. How could he by himself? Why did he leave, anyways? Why did he do that to the young kits? Too young, he abandoned them. He was supposed to be a good father...
He remembered a dream. His child begging him to stay, a girl who wanted him to stay and play with her. "I'll be back," he promised. But for some reason, behind her happiness, he had a feeling he wouldn't, and he remembered waking up in sweat as he had been jumped by rogues and killing him. He was strong ger than that, he swore. Hed Be there to protect them. But hed left like he had left his sister.
He left like he had given up on looking for his dead mate they never found the body to. He left like he did his twins death. He caused all of this, anyone attached to the tom would die, he came to that realization, and feared the same thing was to continue happening. Just like the flower curse. Just like the ghosts that would lead cats to their deaths.
Where was he when a kitten died last week? Found in the rain, swamped to the banks of a river that overflowed. Her fur was soggy, and her limp body was quite heavy from the heavy rain. He could've sworn that the ghosts were still around in the nursery, and he struggled to remember the name the kits repeated, but coming up with nothing. His blue gaze held sorrow. And then, instead of cursing at the gods, he would shout for mercy. He would ask for forgiveness. He would cry for pity.
Darkclan endured so much pain and hardships every day. The bear was gone, but now bloodclan and shadowclan were quite tense. Right when they thought everything was ok. They couldnt get a peaceful breath for a second.
What had darkclan done to do this? Or was it just because of the brute being there that Starclan would lash so hard at the clan? Maybe it was him. If it was, he was pitiful right now. He knew it. His interaction with copper paw led him to believe something. He was such a strong and useful warrior, stepping back because of his own hardships. Would coal and lily do what he did, or would they stay stronger than him? His blue eyes cleared, and he narrowed his gaze gritting his teeth in disappointment. "I have failed you all, and I promise to make it up to both of you. I won't let you guys down." His voice was so soft, before turning back to camp. His pawpads dug into the dirt, leaving paw prints that were deep from his heavy paws. Claws pricked the ground as he moved silently through the trees.
He had to become a warrior again. He just knew it. He couldnt let himself fall frail and weak, and lose what and who he was. He was strong. He was strong. He has always been strong. He has always been the protector, the feline who cared the most, the feline who would risk his life for another's. And he would continue this path, unrelentless and strong.
The grey siamese would go straight the the camp, tired of his own stupidity. He was an example of wasted potential. He was a bad example. Maybe that's why so many looked down on the ex leader. He showed as weak, but did they know what he went through? Did they know his story, or were they actually just scared of him? His stormy gaze would stare into the sunlit and busy camp as he approached into it. His head would be washed and cleaned so it was unknown what he did to himself in a fit of depression.
Hed be okay, he swore. Hed make himself be okay. He knew who he was. Who knew what he was. If others knew or not, he did, lily did, and coal did. So entering the camp, hed keep his head high, and hed appear the strongest and best mood he had in moons. The weight off his shoulders, he knew who he was.
Obsidianstorm was the strong rock that couldnt be broken by something as simple as claws and blood.