panic room // intro

today, littlekit turned three moons. he was over halfway through his kithood, with his apprenticeship approaching faster than he'd like it to. he'd prefer to stay like this for as long as he could. he didn't want to grow up, not yet. the idea of growing up was scary. it meant leaving the safety of the nursery, never being able to feel the warmth of his mother's fur against his again. she'd move on to the warriors' den, and he'd be forced to sleep next to cats he didn't know. sure, his siblings would all come with him, but the apprentices' den was so much more crowded than the nursery was. there were so many unfamiliar faces, faces that he should know but didn't because he was different from everyone. he knew he was different. he couldn't speak to anyone except his mother and siblings. others did it so easily, walking up to each other and starting up conversations, joking and laughing like it was the simplest thing in the world. but littlekit? he froze up, didn't know what to say, couldn't bring himself to speak up over the sound of his racing heart beating rapidly in his chest, so loud that he was sure everyone could hear it. so far, only his family had heard his voice. and he hated that about himself, but he couldn't change it, could he? he was cursed to have this problem forever, wasn't he.

littlekit was awake before his siblings were this morning. he usually opted to stay inside of the nursery until one of his littermates awoke, but something caught his eye from outside of the den. a small, colorful shape fluttered near the den's entrance, bright-hued wings drawing littlekit in and making him carefully step out of the confines of his safe space. it was a butterfly, one that was orange with black stripes on it's wings. and it was beautiful. it landed on the ground in front of him, right at his paws. but when he crouched down to get a better look, it darted away from him, taking off into the air and flying away to a new patch of ground. and he tipped his head to the side, feeling a little hurt. did the butterfly not like him? maybe it had watched him fail to answer a simple question asked by a npc the other day and thought he was weird like the rest of his clanmates. plopping down, he watched the butterfly from afar, a frown evident on his face.

little started at tansyface's voice, too focused on watching the colorful insect to take notice that his mom was watching him. but when he turned to her, looking into that loving eye that always managed to make him feel better, his fur flattened and his heart stilled it's rapid beating. his mother was among the select few that littlekit would actually speak to, albeit in a voice no louder than a whisper. but it was more than the awkward silence he offered others. one ear flicked, taking in his mother's advice and nodding to her. the butterfly doesn't like others approaching it? he glanced at the butterfly. maybe it was like him, shy and unassuming. the thought made him smile, a new opinion becoming cemented in his mind; he liked butterflies.

crouching down, he'd pretend to be examining the fur on his tail. if the butterfly really was like him, then it wouldn't like him staring at it. and, it worked! within a few heartbeats, there it was, right beside his paws. his smile grew wider, dark blue eyes stealing quick glances, when- tiny pawsteps scared the butterfly away, his eyes rising to meet goldenkit's. he was.. a bit annoyed that his brother had ruined the moment. but, he pushed it down and shrugged at the questions he'd been asked, which had him puzzled. he'd never heard of butterflies making noises. he's never even given it much thought, really. "i... i don't kn-know?" he answered quietly, looking to his mother for answers. he hoped he didn't sound stupid.. was this supposed to be common knowledge? "wh-what sounds d-do butter-butterflies make, m-mom?"

littlekit faltered upon the approach of lionkit, scooting closer to tansyface. he and lionkit were alike in that they were both shy, something that little would've found solace in, had he been privy to this information. but he wasn't. he'd never talked to lionkit before. he didn't even know the other kit's name. with a nervous smile, he nodded to the unknown kit, glancing up at his mother. was that the right thing to do? or should he try to say something? his paws shuffled, one ear folding backwards, unsure of what to do next. the silence that fell made his skin crawl with invisible ants, his fur prickling at the sensation.

thank starclan tansyface broke the uncomfortable silence. on the inside, he was sighing in relief, glad to have the crawly feeling diminish. he was more than happy to listen intently to her words, a more natural smile falling upon his lips when she touched his forehead with her nose. it was wise of her to keep her caterpillar-eating experience to herself, for little would've surely been upset by this. both saddened and disgusted, should he have heard of that certain caterpillar's fate. he tried to imagine what those flowers and that caterpillar looked like, how pretty the sight must be. goldenkit's voice broke through his reverie, putting forth a new image for him to think about. a bug that looks like a stick? he then imagined a stick with legs, and a puzzled frown wormed it's way onto his face. that sounds weird. his gaze returned to tansyface, those blue orbs holding the same question that goldenkit had asked. are they really real?