im exhausted

  • **TW for suicide, depression, possibly selfharm, etc**


    Heyooo, so im Charlie for those of you who are unaware, and I have PTSD and a Panic Disorder, this comes into play later.


    I am at a point where I am super emotionally exhausted with myself, my peers, my family, and just life in general. I work and go to school while being close to taking an online college class in the spring. I feel like im wearing thin trying to take care of myself and help those around me all the time, but feel horrible when I don't, which just aids to my panic attacks. Like currently, my best friend has been talking to me for over two hours about how much he dislikes his appearance, and I feel utterly helpless and as such am super upset. It's situations like this that I can't back out of, but my brain is exhausted and I feel myself getting depressed again.


    I also just,,, really have been hit hard with issues from PTSD at this point. Frequent flashbacks and nightmares all around, which are contributing to my poor mental state. It's making me regain suicidal thoughts, while I haven't and nor am I going to act out on. Life in general is just beating the shit out of me and I don't know how to cope with my mental and physical health right now.

    Hey, my name is Charlie, or ABYSS I'm a highschool student and a heteromantic asexual. I roleplay a total of six characters currently, Corrupttimelines, Ace Erebus, Midnightpaw A.T, Winterpaw, Juuzou “Rei” Suzuya, and Min Grimes-Darling and I'm open to plotting. I'm also semi-advanced. Wanna see what I’m up to? Here’s my storage/chat thread.

  • I will just let you know that you have been heard. It’s nice to meet you, Charlie. I’m sorry about how you feel mentally and physically. I’ve been through depression off and on, thinking that I’m not good enough for some or that life won’t get any better. I also have socialization issues, so trying to tell someone how I feel or what I’m going through is tough for me.


    I eventually felt the need to be positive the beginning of this year, when college was getting better for me, I graduated, and became certified. I knew that I was going to be somebody.


    But now I’m exhausted, overworked, and stressed. My parents tell me to keep pushing, but sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes my parents play a role in my stress and I have mental breakdowns frequently.


    I don’t think my parents know how I feel, what my thoughts do to me, how tired I am on a daily basis, and how I just want to be alone sometimes.


    I’m usually open to talk at any time and I’ll try my best to help you out. I like to listen and be supportive for those who don’t have that in their lives like I do.

    Main Account:

    Spottedhead [Bloodclan]


    Subaccounts:

    Maskface [Riverclan]

    Mountainmist

    ~Hawkshadow~

    ~Shadestreak~

    Pumpkinpaw

    Carrotpaw