TILL I LOSE COUNT - open; death and joining

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  • The rain pelted down, a steady stream of tears from the sky. Reflecting his own madness, his own despair. Move faster, he should have moved faster should have been quicker. Jerked harder, thrashed like the mad wild animal that he was but he was weak. He was nothing compared to them and it showed how ruthless that they were. Those creatures that walked upright and had no fur upon their bodies. Twolegs, and their depraved dogs. It was always them wasn't it, they ruined everything and never thought once about what they did to their own lives. He was soaked to the bone, thick and long fur dragging him down and causing more weight then he needed right now but he couldn't stop because if he did he would surely break. And there would be nothing left, everything would be sucked out of him and he would become nothing more than a hollowed husk, a walking corpse himself with no mind. Nothing. The world had grown cold and bleak yet he marched on dragging the body with him. No, not a body. She was still with him, ha. She had to be right? Yes. She was still with him and would always be with him. They would fix her up, patch her up. Thing would be normal again and they would be happy again.


    Entrails dragged across the ground, blood having long since stopped spilling and leaving trail behind the body. They had gone too far, much too far to get help and so this was the only viable answer. They were closer to them and he had to try, he had to try. He couldn't give up on her. He wouldn't. The border smelled freshly marked though fading now with the pattering rain that dripped along the needles of pine trees, crossed some ago. The bog of the marsh lifting up into the air. Help me. Help us. His mind was spiraling again as he carefully placed Ruth's body now growing cold upon the ground. "They'll help us. You'll be fine...you'll be okay. Just...rest for a bit okay." Rest, she needed rest. She'll wake up. Suddenly he turned into the forest of pine trees. "Help! Someone please! Please help us!" His voice was a harsh caterwaul into the night air before he turned to pressed his head against the disemboweled corpse of his mate. Ruth was long gone, the wounds had been fatal yet he couldn't let her go. He couldn't. "Please, please, you'll be okay my sweet bird. You'll be fine and then we can...we can start that family you always wanted to. That'll be great right. Like we planned....like we always planned...."

    9p10cik.png

    KEEP MY GLASS FULL TILL MORNING LIGHT CAUSE I'M JUST HOLDING ON FOR TONIGHT

    —— wildseas. | 27 moons | tags | artwork by stiner + avatar by pax✦

  • I was meant to be yours — tags

    "Wildseas?" The voice of a warrior would fall upon the ears of the former bloodclanner. The stormy gray body of Wolfheart would rush forward, only to freeze at the sight that greeted her. Oh...Oh Starclan this was bad...The shadowclan warrior would mentally shake herself now was not the time, these cats needed help. "Wildseas!" She doubted he remembered her. Doubted he could even remember his own name at this moment. Her dark pine green eyes would focus in on his as she meowed sternly yet quickly, "Wildseas, You're in Shadowclan. I'm going to get Icefeather and Oliveslip. But first we need to get you both somewhere safer." Her gaze would once again flicker towards the body of Ruth, and it took every ounce of self control to keep her from vomiting. Yes, Wildseas' must truly be insane with grief to think she could still make it. But she was the worst person to break that to him, especially now. "I'm going to grab her scruff and pull her near that tree. Can you help me?" She would move, carefully but without hesitation as she grabbed the scruff of the former leader and pulled her body to a more even ground before an NPC warrior that she had been hunting with finally caught up to her. She whirled around and snapped at him in urgency, "Go and get Icefeather and Oliveslip! Now!!" The NPC would jump, but then bolt away without much questioning as Wolfheart turned to WildSeas and meowed gently, "WildSeas....Can you tell me what happened?..."


    Hanakosong   OLIVESLIP   SORRELSTAR




    "We were made to be one..."

  • Ruth. Her pelt was etched into his memory like a nightmare, one he could never shake. The old broken pathways he had left behind long ago, he knew not that he would re-walk these roads today. His mate and kits safely tucked in the nursery, his new life laid before his paws, the golden-eyed guardian had drawn a line in the sand that night, that fate-sewing night. Hornetsting, family man he was now, young father and beloved protector sure, but as Lucian he was a feared monster. A hated being who brought pain. Who was he to pass judgment?


    The rain plastered his coat to his swiveling bones as he slithered through the forest on a lone patrol. Knowing the rain would smother their border line, he knew it was his duty to make a few rounds. He planned to meet up with Wolfheart and her hunting companion eventually but he wasn’t sure if his plans would hold solid if the rain pelted down any harder. His thoughts drawn to a halt as a desperate plea split the heavy air, drowned by the roar of the storm but evident upon the hunter’s tattered ears.


    Kicking off, he soared the mire like a bleached jet, smashing his bony paws against the puddles creating walls of water as he cut through the pine infested forest. Of all scenes he could suspect given the urgency of the calls and voices he now approached, this he expected least. Darkened by dampness, the russet coat of Wildseas silhouetted around a body laid across the mud. Wolfheart spoke urgently, and Hornetsting had to side-step quickly as her hunting partner bolted past him toward camp.


    What in the seven hells is going on? The white warrior padded forth quickly as his former apprentice tugged the body in which he hovered over toward higher ground. He batted his lashes to rid them of the intruding droplets of rain, the scent of death laying a bed of familiarity over his senses.


    There, laying before the flame hued Bloodclanner, was the woman who maimed him so long ago. His brows furrowed as he was reminded of it, but that was not the same cat. No, the lifeless creature pasted to the ground, cheeks sunken in and darkened by death’s sweet kiss. Ruth, was no longer. He didn’t know how to feel, but his heart, pained deeply for Wildseas. He sauntered the gap between the trio and himself, scanning the clearing buzzing from the cyclone above. Extending his curved talons to the quick, turning his back protectively to the pair and the corpse, molten gold optics trained for any movement. Whatever did this, well, he’d be damned if he was going to let it do to Shadowclan what it did to Ruth.


  • ShadowClan senior warrior | black & ginger torbie | missing left eye | tags

    Her pawsteps are light, almost dainty, as she makes her way through the marshland. The scent of young plants and the familiar patter of rain against the trees envelop Tansyface, comforting her with their familiarity. She has no destination in mind, although her feet tend to guide her to the same places each time she sets out with no plan, so perhaps they have a plan that she has yet to learn. Her aimless walks have gone up in frequency since her unborn kits have started moving, sometimes because the pregnancy scared her far deeper than she would ever admit and being able to feel the kittens brought them further from 'just a concept' and closer to 'really, honestly real.' Other times, it was because Tansyface had the strange desire to show them around, knowing full well they wouldn't understand her words or remember what was described to them, but feeling driven to do so nevertheless.


    It is one such occasion that she walks, talking aloud and struggling to make each nondescript tree sound unique. One can only explain where the knots on a tree lie and then go on to explain how that pattern on knots differs from the last four patterns before it becomes tedious. When she lapses into silence, it's a comfortable thing, and for once Tansyface is content to just listen to the world. The rumbling croak of a frog, the distant chirp of a cicada, a desperate cry for help that made every bit of wet fur on Tansyface's pelt stand in waterlogged spikes. She stood frozen, waiting for the echo of the wail to leave her mind before Tansyface was moving, her steps far less languid as she clumsily rushed through the thin underbrush, only stopping when she finds the source of the noise.


    Her first instinct is to try and get between Wolfheart and the BloodClanner, to defend Wolfheart however she can, but the tom is massive enough that Tansyface feels thoroughly cowed. It's this moment of frozen fear that Tansyface is able to more accurately take in the scene, understand what has happened. There's a stab of- betrayal? envy? that Tansyface feels when she sees Wolfheart begin to move the corpse, and it's with this emotion that Tansyface decides to make her presence known, "Are you really going to help him?" Her words are directed at Wolfheart, steel lacing her tone. "What happened doesn't matter. What matters is that he and that shouldn't even be here!"


    (more than that, tansyface had the foresight to tell that icefeather would want to bring wildseas back to camp, and he seemed in enough of a state that he would demand the corpse be brought back too, and it would only then make sense to bury it near camp once it was there. it was unacceptable to tansyface that some outsider would be honored in such a way, while tansyface's own mate hadn't been given that dignity.)


    There was more callousness on her tongue, more bite, but it was the memory of Shatteredsong that reminded Tansyface that she was supposed to be bettering herself. She had been beyond herself with anguish, tearing through Icefeather's stores in desperation to fix somebody long dead, and it was with that thought that Tansyface's mood shifts once more, far from sympathetic, but no longer outright hostile. For the first time, Tansyface addresses Wildseas, pulling herself to her full height in an attempt to look authoritative, "No harm shall come to any ShadowClanner while you are here. Know that if it was my choice, I wouldn't have allowed you even a whisker over the border without severe consequence, and if you do anything to one of my clanmates, I will see to it personally that you will no longer be capable of such things." And with that, Tansyface was done speaking to Wildseas, done looking at him, and so she marched past him to stand near Hornetsting.

  • An NPC came to the medicine den, frantically speaking of a cat named Wildseas, dragging...wait. Did they just say a dead body? Frantically, she looked to Icefeather, amber eyes filled with fear. What were they supposed to do? Tentatively, the medicine cat apprentice followed the NPC back down to the border.


    It was worse than she thought. Tansyface was hollering at Wolfheart and Wildseas, but all she could do was stare at the lifeless body of Ruth...the former BloodClan leader. It appeared she had been disemboweled, dead for some time. The taupe tabby forced herself not to flinch. There really was nothing to be done, even if both her and Icefeather tried. Shaking, her gaze traveled to Wildseas’s, clearly fearful of the flame-colored somali. "I-I’m so s-sorry..." Gulping, she forced the words out. "...s-she’s gone, There’s n-nothing I can do." She hated saying the words. "M-Maybe you should come back to camp to get c-checked out by me and Icefeather," she meowed sheepishly, voice an airy whisper. Tansyface clearly wouldn't like it, but Wildseas didn’t look like he was capable of hurting anyone in this...state.



    "speech."



    i guess you wonder where i’ve been —— tags.

    ddd21je-695e497d-695c-4b8e-bacb-32b5e936f3d1.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2QwN2I4NTM3LTczMzItNDI3My1iYzBlLTc3ZDBlOTQxMmY2NVwvZGRkMjFqZS02OTVlNDk3ZC02OTVjLTRiOGUtYmFjYi0zMmI1ZTkzNmYzZDEucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.OO55FSQhpgljvxyq4ocgie84z3wZX0V5uk7NdVMbwAI

    i hear your eyes and i see those cries

    ❝ I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARS YOU ❞


    OLIVESLIP | TRAD. SHADOWCLAN MCA | TAGS | PENNED BY ZYACINTH

  • lgNooyt.gif Bloodclan. No matter how many times the clans would straight out hate them, they were always there. Ratshadow had yet to meet the current leader, Bune, but she assumed Bloodclan was same old. The only leader she had kind of liked was Ruth, for trying to make Bloodclan more like the other clans. Now they were here, dead on the border of Shadowclan. What a shame.


    Ratshadow didn't know much about Wildseas. The inky molly had crossed paths with them maybe twice but she never really saw their leadership in action. Whatever choices they had made lead them here. For better or worse. Her brown eyes look over Hornetsting for a moment. Did he know these two well? Would he be comfortable with them in camp? Where his kits were. She was protective over all her clan mates and was hesitant on bringing this former Bloodclanner in. Just like she was with any outsider. But Ruth was dead, a molly this tom seemed to care deeply for. She felt some sympathy for him. She knew what it was like to have a mate stripped away before they could start a family together. It was heart breaking.


    Her face was emotionless as her clan mates talk around her. Brown eyes staring at the torn corpse in front of them. "I'm sorry for your loss." words were a soft touch against her blank facial expression. She didn't need to be sorry but she was. "Sorrelstar has the final say if he gets to stay. For now, Oliveslip, do you think you could give him a quick look over here? I would rather keep him far from camp till Sorrelstar or Briarthorn give the okay." Ratshadow looked to Wildseas, "That is, if you still want help?"

    shadowclan senior warrior 29 moons girl berrybreeze x npc tags

    shadowclan senior warrior 29 moons girl berrybreeze x npc

    roleplayed by decaying - TAGS

    WnbKd3M.gif

  • The appearance of a smokey grey figure made him turn to look at them, his eyes widening a bit as his jaws parted so that he could continue his pleading. But his name spilled from the molly's maw and he blinked once, though his gaze seemed like he was looking right through her but his voice came out roughly. "Wolf...heart?" Strained and weak he would try to collect himself but there was nothing to collect. All the pieces of him had been shattered back there in that ark pit the twolegs had created for their own amusement and entertainment. Yes, Shadowclan. He'd come here for help. He remembered that much, the direction he had traveled as he carried his fallen mate along the streets and pathways of Twolegplace. But he couldn't really remember names in this moment. Icefeather and Oliveslip. Regardless that meant more cats and that meant more help for Ruth. So he relented then and when she moved to Ruth he instinctively moved to help her, shifting his beloved across the ground with the utmost care and underneath the nearby tree. He couldn't help but watch her, his brain tricking him into believe that she was still breathing, that she was merely sleeping. She needed the rest after what she had gone through.


    But he had to take his gaze off her, not wanting to, to look back to Wolfheart as she asked him what had happened. He almost felt like he was going to be sick and maybe he had already been but he swallowed thickly. Memories flashed of cages closing on them, not being able to run. Being carried to some basement of a twoleg house. The baying of the hounds was the worst part of it, fur rising and hackles raised. He didn't even know his own breathing was turning into sharp gasps before he clenched his eyes closed shut tightly against the memories. The sound of the cage being torn a part, the cries spilling from his lips. "I..I can't.... just please help her. Someone...." He breathed out harshly as he pulled his ears against his own skull. His mouth felt dry as he looked back to Ruth once again to make sure that all was well before he heard pawsteps and his eyes lifted up to see other cats coming into the area. Would they help? Why were they just standing there. Although he didn't have much time to react when Tansyface started speaking and he felt the rage bubble up in him. "Shut your craven mouth! She is not a that!" He couldn't help the sharpness in his voice before he turned away from the molly altogether, her words jumbled and meaningless. At odds with the situation at hand as she continued to ramble on, an echo on it's last ring.


    His head pressed against Ruth's then, taking in her scent despite the blood that was too telling of the situation. His tongue swiped along her forehead, gently grooming her fur. Careful, careful of the torn flesh, the congealed blood. More cats were coming now and he allowed his eyes to look up, tears brimming along the edges of his emerald green gaze as he looked at the next feline that started to speak and now his heart finally cracked, shattering as he felt the world fall away from him. "No...no, no, no.... Don't tell me that....just don't. Please you, you can do something." The tears fell, like a small running stream down his cheeks to drop into the fur of the one that meant the most to him in this world. His voice cracked audibly in pain as he looked back down to the woman whom had given him everything and asked for nothing in return. His nose pressed against her neck as he choked back his own sobs. But he knew it. He knew it the moment he saw the dog go for her, effortlessly throwing her around. It was his fault. He'd been too late, not fast enough. Never fast enough. "Please....please just give her back to me. Starclan please..." Mournful whispering took hold of him as he stared down at the corpse now. It was a corpse, no longer was Ruth's soul gracing the lovely form and she was gone from him. On a different plane of existence. Rather with Starclan or the Dark Forest he didn't know. But he knew she was too good for the Dark Forest. Starclan had her.


    His blurry gaze lifted up and he looked at the sky, feeling the rain slip down his face and it had hid his tears for the most part. Sorry for his loss. His loss. There was nothing left now but a broken tom upon the ground. Finality ringing in the air and he'd never again hear her voice, her soft teases. Her warmth would forever be a distant memory of what could have been, what they had held together. A pained whimper left his throat and he couldn't even fathom being checked out and looked over. He didn't matter, he never mattered. "I...b...I have to bury....her...." It was so hard to choke out that sentence, something he had never thought he would be saying right now in this moment. He struggled with the notion of even having to do the action and he would probably have to do it alone. All alone. Everything weighted so hard on his heart and he looked to Wolfheart then and the rest. Shadowclan.... they hated him he could guess one way or another. But would they help him...bury her?

    9p10cik.png

    KEEP MY GLASS FULL TILL MORNING LIGHT CAUSE I'M JUST HOLDING ON FOR TONIGHT

    —— wildseas. | 27 moons | tags | artwork by stiner + avatar by pax✦

  • I was meant to be yours — tags

    Wolfheart felt a rush of relief as her former mentor appeared, and she smiled in gratitude as he took a guarding position in case whatever attacked Ruth was still after them. She would smile softly as Tansyface gave her usual bit, but she was grateful for that too, no cat was more loyal to Darkclan then Tansy, and right now Wolfheart needed that solidarity in this chaotic moment. Finally Oliveslip arrived, uttering the words that she already knew were coming, but pained her heart for the fiery tom regardless. His whimper would be what pushed her over, and The stormy gray molly would move, with no real thought to the fact that Wildseas wasn't one of their own, and lightly press against WildSeas in an attempt to comfort the heart broken tom.


    I...b...I have to bury....her....


    Her ears flattened at how ruined he sounded, and when his green gaze met hers, she would gulp hard as she fought to stay collected for him, "And we will, don't worry about that WildSeas...but Ruth would want to make sure you were ok too...." She would give Oliveslip a look of almost pleading before she meowed to Wildseas once more, "We could even do it here...Ok?.." Her tone was uncharacteristically soft, and her head began to pound as a familiar migraine began to form. Another past memory trying to force it's way to the surface. But she would worry about that later.




    "We were made to be one..."

  • ✧ // but i made it with you next to me

    Icefeather had followed the frantic NPC and her fretful apprentice back to the border, to where Wildseas and - oh StarClan. Ruth. Icefeather didn't have many memories or interactions with the former calico leader of BloodClan, but she had respected Ruth's attempts at bettering the group of city-dwellers, and Wildseas' distressed pleading was more than enough to choke Icefeather with emotion, no matter how she felt about the tom. Turning her indigo eyes on Tansyface, knowing that her friend likely hated everything about this situation, the white tabby medicine cat approached the fiery tom and laid a gentle tail on his shoulders.

    "Wildseas? We can help you bury her, but unfortunately, we can't take her body back to our camp. She's been gone too long, and if we don't bury her soon, it won't be pretty. We can bury her here, near the border, and then my Clanmates and I will take you back to ShadowClan's camp as long as Sorrelstar is alright with that." The medicine cat's voice was surprisingly stable, her tone calm and soothing, voice low enough to be gentle but loud enough to be heard over the rain. Turning her head back to the other cats gathered, she looked to Tansyface and frowned. "Oliveslip, take Tansyface back to camp, please. She needs to be in the nursery and dry. Hornetsting, the NPC, and I will stay to help Wildseas. If you could tell Sorrelstar about what's happening as well, that would be great."

    // SORRELSTAR just in case <3

    speaking thoughts

  • lgNooyt.gif It was odd in a way to see Wildseas like this. She supposed it would be weird to see any former leader like this. Broken, sobbing, begging for help. Ratshadow glanced at Icefeather who made her way over. Of course they would bury her. Every cat deserved to be buried, no matter their crimes. Plus, their rotten corpse is something she didn't want to smell any time soon. So they would bury her.


    The warrior looked to Oliveslip, her former apprentice, wondering if this was their first body. "I can help you bury her." Ratshadow offered, thinking it was best to get started as they waited for the leader. Or maybe even the deputy would come around soon. She looked at Hornetsting once more before her brown eyes focused on the outsider among them. Wanting to say something, but nothing could make this better. So she just waited for the tom to reply before they would start to bury Ruth.

    shadowclan senior warrior 29 moons girl berrybreeze x npc tags

    shadowclan senior warrior 29 moons girl berrybreeze x npc

    roleplayed by decaying - TAGS

    WnbKd3M.gif


  • ShadowClan senior warrior | black & ginger torbie | missing left eye | tags

    Craven mouth? That one was new. Tansyface remained stubbornly pointed away from Wildseas, doing her best to ignore his pleas to StarClan. A part of her wanted to be angry of that as well, to challenge him on what sort of connection he could possibly have to StarClan, but she wasn’t heartless, and so she seethed to herself. Tansyface felt eyes on her, a heavy sensation on the back of her neck that spiked her fur, and when she turned, it was Icefeather who she saw watching her. Predictable that Icefeather wanted her back at camp, and Tansyface couldn’t help but agree that leaving this situation sounded nice. "I can make it back fine on my own," Tansyface replied, her voice far softer than she felt, “Although if Oliveslip escorting me back eases your mind, then I will allow for it.” With that, Tansyface gave a nod to Wolfheart, Hornetsting, and Ratshadow in turn, murmuring their names in farewell, then gestured lightly for Oliveslip to follow along as she made her way back to camp.



  • There was nothing for him to do. He had to succumb to the fate that he was given. he couldn't reverse time, take back what happened. Nothing, there was no solution for him to go through but move forward. Without her. The idea of it tore him a part, he had always thought they would grow old together, with white hairs growing around their muzzles. That they would have their family and be able to live together peacefully. But all of that was shattered, a future pulling away from him and something he would never had. It hurt like claws digging into his heart and he closed his eyes before he swallowed thickly. Wolfheart would help him bury her, Icefeather said the same but the notion of having to do it at all was torture. But he spoke, after hearing another volunteer to help with the deed. "Al...alright. I, let's take her over there..." It was a different spot, one that he had moved quickly through that he motioned with his tail. A tree billowing with hanging limbs that dragged against the ground. He wanted her buried underneath there near the border. Closing his eyes he turned to look at her body before he gently grabbed her scruff and began to carry Ruth over there and once there he slowly, taxingly began to dig through the mud and muck to put her in the ground.

    9p10cik.png

    KEEP MY GLASS FULL TILL MORNING LIGHT CAUSE I'M JUST HOLDING ON FOR TONIGHT

    —— wildseas. | 27 moons | tags | artwork by stiner + avatar by pax✦

  • ✧ // but i made it with you next to me

    Acknowledging her friend's retreating presence with a grateful nod, Icefeather made a mental note to visit Tansyface after she returned to camp, just to talk, to check in. For now, though, the white tabby medicine cat turned her indigo eyes back on Wildseas. the tom was already half dragging half carrying his mate's mangled corpse towards the base of a willowy tree. The task looked hard, exhausting, and Icefeather felt a stab of pity for the flaming tom cat. He may have been a brute, but he had clearly loved Ruth. Turning her head from side to side, Icefeather eventually found a small, convenient clump of half grown lavender stalks, misplaced and odd in the marshes, but suitable nonetheless. Burial rituals usually involved many more herbs and a much lengthier grieving process, but Ruth hadn't believed in StarClan as far as the white tabby knew, and she had to make do with what was available.

    The lavender would do. She followed Wildseas to where the tom wished for Ruth to be buried and carefully started rubbing the lavender over Ruth's soaked, blood tinted calico fur while the grave was being dug.

    speaking thoughts

  • darkness hung in the golden gaze of the leader as her senior warrior informed her of what was going on. chaos was once again reigning supreme in the pine darkened forest, and with a soft sigh, the woman nodded to her friend and strode out to meet the group. this fiery tom had taken a life from her, he'd lead his clan with tyranny, enemies of most of the forest, and now he lay, struggling, with a dead mate and a beg on his lips. she didn't know how to feel, and her stomach churned as finally she reached them, standing in the shadows as ruth's body was carried past. taking a breath and blinking once, shadowclan's ruler would step out to join the commotion, a properly sympathetic expression resting upon guarded features. she would not be warm to wildseas, their meetings had only ever ended in disaster and anger, but she would allow him to grieve. antagonizing him while this process was happening would not bode well for their future, hers or his.


    ruth was beautifully tragic in the rain, blood seeping out to mix with pools of water. as icefeather spread lavender over the mottled pelt, sorrelstar approached hornetsting and ratshadow, a question deep in her eyes. "tansyface told me he was here. do you know any more about what happened?" it was murmured low to her two trusted advisors as she swept the scene, blinking slowly. they were going to bury the former bloodclan leader, that much was decided on. what to do with the living one was a much bigger question.

    BUT HERE I AM WITH ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ARMS UNFOLDING

    sorrelstar ——– shadowclan leader, tags, 4/9 lives, penned by lavendes