| winter wonderland |

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    Alexander clearly appreciated the help that Collin was giving him. This all wasn’t the easiest for him. They said it would take him a long time to get healed from this all. They said he would have to go back in a month to get checked up in. At least, that was unless he hurt himself on accidental. He was hoping that he would stay healthy throughout the rest of the time. He just wanted to get back to normal. He was sure that Collin was feeling the exact same way by that point. They both needed for things to get back to normal. He didn’t just mean his health, he meant everything. He nodded his head some at his words before they began to drive away.


    Thankfully Johnathon hadn’t bothered them the rest of the time that he had been in the hospital. The nurse seemed to have listened and requested him to stay away from the room. He didn’t feel safe about it though. Now that the other male knew they were here, he would probably stop at nothing to bother them. He wouldn’t be surprised if they continued to get harassed by him. He didn’t have any issue with wanting to get a restraining order against him. It could be considered sexual assault and constant stalking if he did continue to harass them. He needed to not think like that though. He just needed focus on the positive.


    A soft chuckle left his lips as Oliver meowed at them. He was sure that the little kitten absolutely loved the apartment. It was huge and had plenty of places for him to hide. There was just so much that could be done. He just wanted for them all to be happy too. He perked up at his words and began to focus on him. “Okay,” He paused, leaning back against him a little. He appreciated any sort of comfort that he could get in this state. It was going to be a while before they could cuddle like normal.


    “Be safe. I don’t want anything to accidentally happen to you. I love you too.” His words were soft. He gladly kissed back, opening his eyes when the other male pulled back from him. A sigh left his lips as he watched him leave. He adjusted his body to get more comfortable. He grabbed the remote and then turned the television in. He ended up finding a few movies that he would be willing to watch. He waited patiently for him to return then.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc: ahhh that sucks! i took both of them and it was terrible. but that sucks you messed up your ankle owo i always wanted to play soccer but was too shy to ever try out. congratulations!!


    collin drove him in silence, not even turning the radio on. he didn’t want to hear it. the parking lot to his apartment building was almost full but he managed to find spot towards the middle. he kept his head down against the wind when he went across the lot to his apartment. cold fingers fumbled with jingling kegs briefly before he found his own and unlocked the door. warmth engulfed him and he sighed when his door closed. the apartment had an eery silence to it from over a week of being empty. he was happy the heat had stayed on, else he would freeze.


    collin ached to throw himself onto the bed and sleep for hours but he had a prior commitment to alex. going to the bathroom, he peels his clothes off, tossing his scarf, alex’s hoodie and his clothes onto his bed. collin looked briefly at himself in the mirror. his face was once again bruised and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. steam from the shower drifted up to the ceiling when he climbed in.


    after the shower, collin had went to his bed still wrapped in a towel and laid down. the nap only lasted for an hour and he was up again, groggy and irritated while he dressed and got a few bags together. he didn’t realize how many things he had accumulated in just two short months and even if he had wanted too, he wouldn’t have been able to get it all in one go. bags in hand and scarf wound around his neck again, collin headed back out into the cold.


    two days ago, jonathan had used his badge to get into the room at the nurses station that held all of the patient files. it wasn’t hard to find alex’s, the stupid nurse had left it out by her computer. he had made paper copies of everything and rearranged the file so it looked as if had never been touched. now, he gazed at them from the comfort of his parents basement. there was the surgery, what happened and even better, it listed all of their numbers and current addresses, even alex’s parents. a devilish grin spread across his face as he saved each of the numbers into his phone. he had theirs but they had no idea what his was. but jonathan wouldn’t bother them yet, no. he would give them time to get settled, get comfortable then he would put his plan into action.


    I had hurt it in February and reinjured it a few weeks ago cx thanks! ))


    Alexander tried not to let his mind wander too much as he sat there. It was rather hard to do though, especially since he was by himself. His eyes glazed over as he thought of everything. Everything just seemed to be finally showing how much he disliked himself still. He had been the cause of absolutely everything that plagued them these past few months. It was hard for him to even believe that the other male actually did still love him. Why would he? Sure his feelings couldn’t be suppressed in such a short amount of time, but there must be a part of Collin that just didn’t love him anymore.


    How could you still love someone that hurt you on accident? Well, it was on accident, but it still shouldn’t have been forgiven. Collin deserved someone who loved him and would be the perfect person for him for the rest of their lives. He just felt like he wasn’t that man at times. He knew that it was completely stupid for him to even think like that, but his mind went to bad places when he was alone. A frown came onto his lips, shaking his head some as well to keep himself calm. It would be bad for Collin to come back and to see him crying.


    He adjusted around on the couch then, trying to get comfortable again. The one terrible thing about this was how uncomfortable he was all the time. The pain medicine didn’t help that either. It was easy to see just how much he hated that this was happening to him as well. Mumbling a few things under his breath, he looked towards the door. He just wanted for him to come back so that he could sit beside him. The comfort that the other brought just by being near his was surmountable.


    Okay this was terrible and rushed I apologize!))

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc: that’s okay <3


    traffic was a little heavier on collin’s way back through. a wreck had backed it up in the center and it had put him twenty minutes behind. a cop directing traffic had waved him through with a wave of his hand. he went through, throwing his fingers up in silent thanks and sped off. they couldn’t come after him for speeding because, fortunately, they were busy.


    collin shouldered one bag on each shoulder as well as another one in his hand before locking his car and heading back up the stairs that led to the second floor. he kept his keys in his hand and had fixated the key to alex’s apartment between his second and third fingers so he would have it ready. in a few minutes he was coming back through the door, closing it with his foot.


    “still alive?” collin smiled and carried his bags to the bedroom, dropping them and coming right back. alex appeared to have not moved since he had left only now, oliver was curled up on the arm of the couch next to him. running his fingers along the kitten’s spine, he sat back down. alex looked as if something was in his mind but he wouldn’t press it. he was probably still in pain.


    “i was thinking i could cook tonight. like i used too”, collin continued. he glanced up at the tv before looking down. “i think you’ll be okay to start eating normal again as long as we don’t overdo it, you know? how does a casserole sound? i haven’t worked out exactly what kind. i can make some peas or green beans, maybe some kind of roasted potatoes. how does that sound?” collin rested his hand on alex’s leg with a smile.


    <3))


    Alexander could hear the door clicking and unlocking. His heart was pounding a little, though he knew that it didn’t have to. He shouldn’t be worried. No one could be breaking into the apartment. He had made sure to find a place that would be hard to get into. The entire apartment complex was guarded twenty four seven by a few people. If anything did happen, they also had some buttons they could press to call the police. That was one of the feature that made them choose this apartment complex over the other’s that they had looked at.


    His entire body relaxed as the other male spoke up. He was very grateful to know that it was actually Collin who had been coming in. “Yep! I have been super bored the entire time, but I am just glad that you are back. I missed you.” He confessed. He knew that they were apart for such a small amount of time, but he just needed the other to be there with him. It was almost like they had a special connection. He waited patiently for the other male to come back to the couch.


    He looked to him fully when the other male finally took a seat beside him. He shifted around a little so that he could carefully leaned into him. He winced a little, unable to help it. He just wanted to be with him a good bit. “I would love to have a casserole. Can you make green beans please? Last time I had peas they tasted really bad.” He asked hopefully. “Roasted potatoes sound absolutely amazing too.” He rambled out a good bit. He couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t had good food in such a while.


    He leaned up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “I am so glad that you are back home with me. I missed having you here.” He murmured. He knew that it was easy to see though. “Oliver seems to enjoy it too. He ran around for a little while and then finally laid down up here with me after a little while. He is such a sweet kitten.” He spoke truthfully. He shifted to put his own hand on the other male’s leg. “You know what sucks? I can’t cuddle with you properly for a while and we can’t have sex or anything.” He teased like he normally would.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:


    “did you think i wasn’t coming back?” collin was joking but in the back of his mind he had a slight suspicion that alex believed he would leave and really not come back. that he would just dump oliver and never speak to him again. he knew he was probably wrong and collin would dare voice what was on in his mind like that. “you made me leave and if you ever do it again, you’re in for a fight.” collin laughed.


    collin relaxed again when alex leaned against him. he brought one handle to play with his hair, twirling it around in his fingers. “of course i can. hopefully i won’t have to run back into town to the store.” collin was sure he would t because alex had always been meticulous about keeping the apartment stocked with food. at the mention of the peas, collin raised a brow. hadn’t he been the last one the make alex peas? choosing not acknowledge the comment, he continued. “then i’ll make it for you. you just rest, i’ll get everything situated.”


    his attention wandered to oliver once more while alex spoke of him “i think he’s comfortable here now. it’s bigger than my place, you have those long curtains that go to the floor and i’m positive he is going to climbing them soon. he also likes to gnaw on the edges of the shower curtain, just a heads up.” collin smiled fondly, remembering when he found those tiny teeth marks in his own shower curtain. “he might attack you as you walk by. he does that.”


    collin laughed aloud, gently tugging on alex’s hair at his next comment. “babe, is that all you think about?” he held alex’s shoulders with his hands and slipped out from behind him, replacing himself with one of the couch pillows. “besides, there’s other ways we can... manage it. i’m gonna get started.” collin held his gaze for a moment longer, a smile on his face before he went to the kitchen. he still remembered where everything was and after a shuffle and clatter of pans, he had everything he needed. luckily alex had what they needed for him to cook and in no time, the smell of roasting potatoes filled the apartment. collin started those first because they would take the longest.


    Alexander gave him a look at his comment. He could clearly see that he was joking, but he did have to respond truthfully. “I knew you were coming back. I just feel super clingy towards you lately and I just want to be around you. I’m sorry ahead of time if it gets on your nerves.” He spoke gently. He knew that his injury was helping cause that with him. He just felt as if he needed to be near Collin at all times. If he wasn’t, something might go wrong. He knew it was irrational, but it was how his mind was working lately. “Hit me with your best shot.” He teased, trying to lighten up his own mood then.


    He shook his head lightly at his words. “My apartment is as stocked as it used to be. I can promise you that you won’t have to get anything. I got so used to buying extra things for your huge appetite that I just kept doing it.” He confessed with a chuckle. The other male playing with his hair was helping him a lot actually. He didn’t think that it was going to, but it kept him relaxed. Speaking of peas, the last time that he had them was from a frozen dinner a few weeks ago. He threw them out the moments that he had tried them. They were probably the worst things that he had ever eaten. “Okay. Don’t take too long. I want to cuddle some more.”


    He turned his gaze to look at the now sleeping kitten. He never thought he would say it, but he truly did love having him around. It was nice to have a pet in the apartment. The last one he had had been the fish that had died. Even then that was nowhere near like having a cat. “I won’t mind. If he rips anything, I am sure I can replace it. Curtains aren’t too expensive and I am not picky about the shower curtain.” He assured. He chuckled again when being informed that he could be attacked by the kitten. “I think that it is a sacrifice I can make.”


    A joking pout came onto his lips when his hair lightly got tugged. He stuck his tongue out at the other male for a moment as well. “It is definitely not all I think about. It is a thought that I have every now and then though.” He spoke truthfully. A soft sound of complaint left his lips then as the pillow replaced the other male. “Oh yeah, that’s true. My brain is barely working today, I swear. I think the pain meds are keeping me out of it.” He realized. It wasn’t long until he could smell the potatoes and his stomach began to growl. “It already smells amazing and you aren’t even done yet.” He called to him.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:


    “atleast we’ll always have food.” collin smiled slightly. they had always had to buy double the amount of food then most couples living together had. but that had been because of him because, again, collin was a bottomless pit. even now, he was hungry and he had grabbed a sandwich while at his own apartment. but he blessed because he didn’t gain the weight that he should have been gaining.


    he glanced over at alex, realizing his words may have been misinterpreted. “alex, i’ve always wanted you to be the clingy type. i don’t want you to only want to touch me when we’re busy. you know that and you also know that it will never get on my nerves.” he spoke with a smile but his words were firm. “but you’re right. i probably think about it a lot more than you do. i have a vivid imagination and when it comes, it doesn’t go away within one second.” collin would let him interpret that anyway he wanted too.


    “thank you!” collin answered the call and laughed. it did smell good, if he said so himself. everything was on its way to being done and even now, collin was pulling the casserole from the oven to test it. satisfied, he turned the eye of the stove off that was boiling the green beans and dumped the roasted potatoes into a bowl. he sat the casserole on one of the square mits they had. collin fixed alex’s plate first and carried it to him, along with a glass of sweet tea. “here.” he sat it on the table that was directly next to the arm of the couch, not the coffee table then went back to fix his own.


    collin returned with his page full and a glass of tea and took a seat beside alex. “i hope it’s good.” but he already knew it would be. collin began to eat, his gaze wandering to the tv once more. he hadn’t realized how much he had missed doing this. collin had cooked for himself at his own apartment and sat watching the rev but it wasn’t the same as being here with alex by his side. truth be told, collin couldn’t wait to go to bed with him in the bed that they had shared months ago.


    “That is very true. We will always have plenty of snacks for you too. I made sure to always keep those little bags of chips that you liked in the apartment in case you decided to come back sometime.” Alexander confessed. He knew it was kind of a pathetic thing to do, especially since he was saying it out loud. “At least they are here for you now. I know that you will love to have those. They are in the pantry for whenever you decide you want them.” He informed. He was sure that his words were going to make Collin very happy. He remembered when they had first tried it. It had been a sample at the store and Collin loved it. He made sure to get plenty of bags of it from then on.


    He hadn’t realized that his body had tended a little as he waited for his response. He began to relax when assured that Collin didn’t mind him clinging onto him. “Okay. I just knew that sometimes you get annoyed when you are tired and all. I didn’t want my clinging to affect you in any way.” He explained. He gave him a big smile then, trying to reassure himself some. He burst out into soft laughter at his next words. “Do you daydream about it? Is that why you try to do new things every time? I have always wondered why!” He teased him a little bit. This truly was lightening up his mood a good bit and he was feeling better.


    “You’re welcome!” Alexander had called back to him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have everything back to normal again. He had never thought that he was going to be able to. He seemed to have a smile permanently planted on his lips. Everything they was happening now reminded him of their old memories. This apartment held a lot of them too. He snapped out of his thoughts as the other male began to bring the plates of food over. His mouth started to water at the smell of the food. “It looks amazing.” He gushed.


    He waited for him to return. After all, it was only the polite thing to do. He then picked up his fork and began to eat. A soft sound of desire left his lips. “It tastes amazing. I’ve missed your cooking so much. I had missed you so much. I love you.” He murmured. He paused his eating to carefully lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. He then got back to it with a smile on his lips.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:


    collin smiled but continued to eat. it had been surprising to him to learn that alex had still acted as if he had never left, like he was expecting him to come home any minute. he was glad, in a way, because even right after, alex knew he had been wrong and when- or if- collin had chosen to return home, things would still be the same. his mind wandered back to the snacks again. collin barely remembered the taste but he knew that he had fallen in love with them.


    “i get grumpy if i put my sock on wrong. just ignore me.” collin shrugged. it didn’t take much to get his blood boiling, even though he was shy and quiet, because he had a temper. but it was easy to control. at the next comment, his face went bright red and his ears burned. had alex really caught on? he swore he had been oblivious to the whole thing. “uh...” of course, of all times, collin couldn’t find the words to say so he took another bite, stuffing his face and mumbled something no one could have ever interpreted.


    he started eating at the same time that alex did. he didn’t really have to wait, but collin didn’t protest. it was polite and usually, alex would wait for him if he wasn’t at the table first. collin was silent while he cooled down and his eventually went back to their frosty pale color. “are you feeling better..”, collin asked suddenly.


    collin wasn’t talking about the surgery or the cuts that went into his flesh. he was referring to heir conversation in the cabin. “you know, what you told me at the cabin, about ending it all...” collin was hesitant to bring it up, fearful that it would trigger an unwanted reaction. but he did. if he ignored it, it would linger in the back of his mind all night and he lay awake staring at the ceiling.


    //kinda rushed



    no worries :) ))


    Alexander had done so just in case the other male did decide to come back. He had started that form the moment that they broke up. He really had originally been hoping that he would’ve been forgiven during the time that he went to the cafe. He just never realized that Collin might not ever come home to him. He was just holding onto as much hope as he could. It might seem crazy, but it was true. He just wanted to try and keep himself happy in some way. He was just so grateful that the other male was back home with him.


    “Trust me, I know. I remember you getting upset at me when I bought the wrong shampoo that one time.” He recalled. Of course that was towards the beginning of their relationship and all. He had just been shocked by it. Collin had learned to control his grumpiness over time around him. The first few months of their relationship were a bit rocky. He had to get used to a lot of different things. He was just glad that things had worked out for them. He couldn’t be happier being with the other male now. He burst out into laughter as the other male started to blush. “What did you mumble? I know you are embarrassed, but I am observant.” He teased.


    He had truly just been trying to be polite while the other male was returning to sit beside him. He clearly loved all of the food that the other male was cooking for him and it showed. A feel hum left his lips then. He swallowed what was in his mouth before he froze. He hadn’t expected for him to bring it up. He thought that Collin just wasn’t going to want to talk to him on that subject. A gentle breath left his lips as he tried to keep himself calm. He finally spoke up then.


    “A little bit. My brain is like a wardrobe though. It just keeps bickering back and forth and it won’t shut up. I try to focus on the good, but things truly just keep getting worse. Trust me when I say that I am trying to get better on this. It is just hard.” He confessed. He knew that he was going to need a lot of help getting over it all. He looked to him then. “Having you with me is helping though. Thank you so much. I love you.” He spoke truthfully. He leaned over to press a kiss to his lips. He was hoping Collin would be happy to hear that.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:


    collin laughed. he had forgotten about the shampoo incident. it wasn’t even a big deal but collin was very picky about certain things- especially his hygiene- and would only use a handful of products, most of which left him smelling like either cedar wood or some sort of mint. he didn’t like musk or anything fruity. he preferred smelling like the outdoors- like a crisp autumn breeze or he had to give it a name. “that was interesting...” alex was a lot more easygoing than he was. he was laid back and really went along with whatever happened. alex rolled with the flow.


    “i didn’t say a word.” eyeing alex from the side, collin grinned. it crossed his mind more than he would ever admit and sometimes things got vivid. but that was personal. he cleared his throat loudly. “you are observant. you always know when something is wrong with me. remember when we first got together? i would sulk up on the couch for whatever reason and smiled, always denying something was wrong but you knew. you always knew.” it was. easy how alex could read him like a book, no matter how hard he tried it closed and put away. but he supposed it was good because alex never let him bottle anything up.


    collin went quiet, listening to alex as he explained. depression was hard for those who didn’t have it to understand. he couldn’t comprehend really what alex was saying, it wasn’t something he could picture with himself. collin didn’t interrupt, he nodded and took a bite of his food ever so often. “have you thought about going to the doctor?” most physicians could prescribe a low grade antidepressant and he was sure it would help. but he also didn’t know how alex felt about being on prescription pills. personally, collin would try every other option first. “but of course you have me and while i can’t really understand what you have going on, i can try to help the best i can.”


    a soft hum left collin’s lips when alex pulled back and he continued eating. he could tell alex wasn’t completely comfortable with discussing this and he wouldn’t push him. alex would open up when he was ready. “maybe after this i can unpack my things, get settled...i can help you take a shower too, i’m sure you’d feel better if you did. and we also have to get those bandages off of your incisions and replace them.” it was easiest to get them off when they were wet and the doctor who released them had said they could take them off and leave them when they were discharged. but collin felt better with them covered and besides, alex would need to see the doctor again two weeks to make sure everything was good.


    Alexander knew from that moment on that he had to get the other male specific hygiene products. He would always take pictures of whatever the other used so that when he did go to the store, he got the right ones. He just wanted to make a smile come onto Collin’s face whenever the other male noticed that he remembered what to get. He truthfully just liked to please the other. He knew it was simple, but it was true. “I knew from then on that I had to get you specific things. Even when I surprised you with that cologne and all, I wanted to get things similar to what you were used to.” He spoke gently.


    He rolled his eyes teasingly at his comment. “Okay, that is such a lie! I heard you jumbling. You can’t hide anything from me. Anyways, I think that I should know because I am the one who goes through this all with you.” He reminded, signaling to his crotch. He was just trying to get a laugh from the other male. He held a grin on his lips. He chuckled himself before he spoke again. “What type of boyfriend would I be if I wasn’t able to read you? I just never want for you to go through anything and to hide it away. I always want to be there for you.” He confessed.


    His happy mood completely diminished when they began to talk about his own personal problems. He reached forward to begin to eat again. He didn’t want the food to get cold. “No, I haven’t. I think that I am going to have to. I just want to get better. I hate feeling like this. After all, I never have before. I just want to be confident again.” He explained. He knew an antidepressant would probably help him quite a lot. “You just being near me helps more than you ever know. I really do love you so much Collin. You are my everything.” He confessed. He was sure that the other knew that by this point though.


    He shifted to get back to eating again. He stayed silent for the rest of the time. He managed to finish the entire plate, knowing that he had needed that. The meal had been absolutely amazing and he couldn’t wait to taste how good it was tomorrow for lunch. “I would love to be able to take a shower. Of course I won’t complain to taking a shower with you either.” He murmured. He moved to carefully stand up then. He grabbed his plate and brought it to sink. He quickly rinsed it off, making sure all of the food was off of it. He placed it into the dishwasher then. “We should probably treat it too. I don’t want it to get infected.” He added as he walked back over to the couch. He was moving slowly still since he was rather sore and stiff.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc: if i ever go more than like 12 hours without replying, just bump it <3 there’s a good chance i opened it, got distracted, then forgot to reply


    “i don’t even try to hide anything.” collin rolled his eyes. in the beginning he had tried to hide when he was irritated or upset but even then alex had been able to see through him. and when collin didnt answer right away, he would pester him until he told him the truth. so either way, collin couldnt hide anything even if he tried. but collin laughed, his eyes lingering on alex’s hand gesture for a few moments. if they kept this up, it was bound to lead to something else.


    so changing the subject, collin continued on about the depression. “it would help. and it’s not like you would need them forever, you know?” collin didn’t have the most professional way of speaking about things like these. “but there’s nothing wrong with that either. i mean, taking something to help your mental health.” collin knew a lot of people showed away from talk of mental health or pills to that would help but this was the twenty-first century and it was time to normalize it. “but of course, if you didn’t want too, that would be okay.” collin smiled when alex professed his love and affection for the thousand time, only gazing at him with shining eyes.


    “i can help you with the shower.” collin knew the affects of the anesthesia had finally worn off but alex was still sore and looked unsteady. so whether the help was wanted or not, he would be assisting. collin tried to shuffle to his feet to stop alex but his plate still had food and he didn’t want to spill. collin kept a watchful eye on him until he returns safely to the couch. the last thing they needed was for him to fall or something. “no i don’t think we should put anything on it.” shaking his head, collin took the last bite of casserole and washed it down with the cold tea. “those are surgical incisions. using alcohol or peroxide wouldn’t be smart and would burn like hell. you still have glue closing them, we don’t need to mess with that until we go back to the doctor. i think we should just stick to keeping the bandages fresh.” collin voiced his opinion but by no means was he one hundred percent sure.




    okay! <3))


    “I know. I taught you not to. If you did, I think I would kill you.” Alexander was clearly joking. He looked quite happy. Everything that they were talking of and the mood between them was making him feel much better than he had before. Just being around Collin was helping him so much too. The other male kept his mind off of all of the bad that he kept thinking. He only pestered the other male because he was terrified that Collin might take everything super badly. He just wanted for them all to be quite happy and live good lives again.


    “I know that I would have to take them forever. I do think it would probably be good for me to take them. That will help hopefully get me to stop feeling like this.” He confessed. He truly did feel absolutely miserable after this all had happened. He did appreciate the other male thinking like this and suggesting it for him. “Thank you for suggesting it. We will try to make a doctor’s appointment after I shower.” He murmured. He reached forward to take his hand carefully. “No, I want to.” He reassured. That was before he stood and began to make his way to the dishwasher.


    A big smile came onto his lips as the other male reassured him that he would get help showering. “Awesome, thank you. That way I can see you naked. You know I love that body of yours.” He teased with a gentle laugh. He made sure that he was walking as carefully as he could. He knew one fall or one slip could rip his incision open. That would be terrible. He knew his guts might actually spill out. He shivered at the thought, finding it to be quite disgusting to even have the slightest idea of it. “Oh, I meant like some cream or something so it didn’t get dried out. You are right though. That would probably be better.” He agreed with a chuckle.


    He slowly stood up once again. “Go and put your things in the dishwasher. I’m going to head to the bathroom and try to get myself undressed to shower. Just come in when you are done.” He spoke gently. He kissed his cheek gently and made his way out of the living room. Thankfully their master bathroom was much larger than one would think. He managed to get his shirt off without any issue. It was the pants and underwear that he was having issues with. He couldn’t bend over to get them off. “Collin! Can you help get my boxers and pants off? I can’t bend!” He called to him, hoping he would hurry up.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:


    collin shook his head. there was no need to worry about a doctors appointment today. it was after noon and they needed to rest, especially alex. “ill call them tomorrow. we can see how you do through the night.” collin finished the rest of his food quickly and stood to rise his plate off. there was food leftover, that was for sure. but he had purposefully made extra so that alex- and himself- would have lunch and alex wouldn’t have to do much work. collin would continue doing that in the coming days when he would have to return to work.


    collin snorted. “you always say that. i don’t even have abs.” and he didn’t but he didn’t look bad. if there was a title to his body, someone would probably peg him as a soccer player due to his legs. but he had never played soccer either. “now i actually went to the gym, then you’d be in danger because everyone would want me.” he winked and began packaging up the rest of the food to clean the kitchen.


    he kept a watchful eye on alex as he left. collin kept his hearing focused and the water off as much as possible so he could hear alex should something happen. he hurried, rinsing and tossing dishes into the dishwasher before he wiped the counters. the containers with the leftover was stuck in the fridge, right at the edge. fear shot through him when he first heard alex but he relaxed slightly when he heard the issue. “im coming!”


    collin hurried into the bathroom and shook his head. he had known alex would need help but would give him the benefit of the doubt to try it himself. of course, collin was right. “you just want me to do it...” smirking he popped open the button on alex’s jeans and pulled the remainder off, being sure to keep his eyes to himself. alex taking a shower was more important. with that done, he straightened and turned the shower on, taking out some of the thick, soft towels as he did. “we can bathe you first, that way the soap and water combined can loosen the bandages and they’ll come off easier.” and when they were out, collin would place new ones on. the first fog of steam were coming from the top of the shower when he held his hand out. “come on, i’ll help you in. i’ll help you wash your hair.”

    Alexander was a little surprised that the other male didn’t want to make that appointment that day. He doubted that they would be able to actually get an appointment for the same day. He was thinking that they could just get it set up for the next day. He didn’t question his choice though. He gave him a gentle smile. “Okay. I am sure that I will be okay being next to you throughout the evening. You always keep me calm.” He spoke truthfully. He appreciated the other male making the extra food for him. He wasn’t going to be happy whenever the other male went back to work. It was going to be really hard for him.


    “You don’t have to have abs or super muscles to be really attractive to me. Your body is still smoking hot.” He promised him. The other male just had natural muscle that was amazing to him. Collin truly was just perfect in his eyes. He didn’t know what he would’ve done without the other male beside him this entire time. He let out a gentle laugh. “I probably would be in trouble! I know that there are plenty of guys that probably would love to be with you right now too. I am glad that I get to call you my boyfriend.” He murmured.


    He made sure that he was being as careful as he could be while he got himself undressed. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing the incision wound after he showered. He was sure that it was going to be disgusting. He hoped that Collin wasn’t going to get too grossed out because of it. He felt a bit disgusted just thinking about it. He bit his bottom lip as he waited patiently for the other male to come to the bathroom. He hated that the bandage was so large. It just meant that the cut was large as well.


    He rolled his eyes a little bit as the other male made the joking comment. “Oh shush. You should feel honored to be able to take off my pants.” He teased him a little bit. He really did appreciate the other male taking the pants and boxers off for him. He couldn’t bend if he even wanted to. He waited patiently for the water to be on and warm. “Okay, that sounds good.” He agreed. He carefully began to walk forward then, taking his hand. He held onto it tightly as they walked into the shower. He was able to wash most of his body by himself. He just needed help with a few spots. He couldn’t reach up and wash his hair though. Collin had to do that for him. “Thank you baby. I love you so much.” He murmured as they finished getting him washed. He leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. “Are you ready to see the incision? I think it is going to be disgusting.” He confessed.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:



    they would need to schedule the appointment for two weeks out, from the day of the surgery. that would give the incisions time to heal as well as inside, where they had taken his appendix out. all of that would need more than a couple of days. that’s why the doctor had told him to schedule an appointment two weeks from the day. collin would call tomorrow- the doctor had said the receptionists in his office would know who they were by checking the computer. “i can take care of you until then.”


    collin wished he saw himself the way alex did. his confidence was boosted daily, but he never voiced his concerns about his body, especially not to alex. he kept all of that locked up tight. “i doubt that...” chucking softly, collin glanced at himself in the steamed mirror. he only sighed. “regardless, that doesn’t matter. i’m with you.” he closed the subject quickly, not wanting alex to poke holes in anything. he stayed outside of the shower, leaning in over the tub to help alex. he had rolled his sleeves up so they wouldn’t get soaked.


    it was easier than he thought. collin was tall enough to reach over with ease and scrub his hair and help clean him. the hardest part was just reaching for the bottom of shampoo, which was all the way across. but he had managed it. “i don’t think it will...” this wasn’t what happened on tv. it probably wouldn’t be one of those gnarly, inflamed cuts that the hospital shows had. collin mused as he picked gentle at the end of the brown coverlet. the soap and water had done the trick; collin peeled it off with ease. the bandage slipped off of alex’s skin, revealing the incision beneath. just as he had suspected, it was a thin red line held tightly together by surgical glue. it would scar but it would be invisible unless one was really trying to stare at it. collin grinned and glanced up before tossing the bandage in the trash can. “see? i told you.”




    Alexander knew deep down that he was probably not going to want to start taking antidepressants while taking his pain medicine. It would probably mix badly and he could have some serious side effects. He didn’t want for that to happy at all. He just wanted to get through this all. “Okay, thank you. You already know how much I love you. I should just get you a shirt that says, ‘Alexander Johnson loves me more than you.’” He joked around a little bit. He was hoping to get a smile out of the other male at that.


    He would always try and continue to boost Collin’s confidence until the day that they died. He wanted the other male to see him in the light that he did. If he could, things would probably be so much better for him. “Don’t doubt it. I have seen the way men look at you. Do you ever wonder why I put my hand in your back pocket? It scared all of the men off.” He informed. He knew little tricks to make other people look away. Of course that had never worked with Johnathon though. “I know. I’m so glad that you are too. You make me happier than I ever could say. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He murmured.


    He really appreciated the other male was able to do this all for him. His fingers massaging his scalp helped him quite a lot. “I’m not good about blood and guts and everything. You should know that. I just hate seeing cuts to.” He reminded. He looked down at it when the other male pulled the bad age off. A gentle sigh left his lips. “It doesn’t look terrible, but it feels like I got shot ten times in the stomach. I am so glad that it doesn’t look infected too. That was my biggest worry. Well, that and the glue ripping. I don’t want my guts to spill out.” He rambled on then. It was easy to see that he was nervous about this all. Collin was keeping him calmer than he could say. “I’m sure that you are enjoying seeing me naked though.” He teased.

    ❝ COLLIN RHODES ❞ 


    ooc:



    “you buy me that shirt and i’ll never take it off.” that was true. collin would wear it everywhere just so people wouldn’t question him and leave him alone. “better yet. get it in a t-shirt and a hoodie so i’ll have one for all through the year. in grey, please.” collin smiled. alex had always told him he loved him a hundred times an hour, but since coming back to the cabin, it had escalated. collin was sure it was just from being pent up for those two months. that or he just terrified that collin would walk out.


    flipping the shower off, collin took one of the towels he had gotten and dabbed it gently across alex’s abdomen, even the surgical incision. “i assumed you just wanted to touch my butt.” collin smiled, not sparing alex a glance as he wiped his hips and legs off. alex wouldn’t be able to bend down and do it. “because you always grabbed it. i didn’t pay attention to anyone else.” when they were out together, he only had eyes for alex.


    collin listened to him ramble, nodding every few words. “i doubt your insides would really fall out if the glue wore off.” it wasn’t like the skin would pop open and his intestines would fall out like sausages. collin hoped it didn’t happen like that. “but we don’t have to think about that.” with the area dry, collin laid the towel in the floor so alex could step out onto it. he grabbed one of the large coverlets they had been given from the hospital and laced it with gentle fingers back onto his skin, covering and shielding the incision from anything could have gotten on it. “alright, hop out so i can get you dressed....” collin cleared his throat at the last comment, his cheeks flustering. “ive got your....clothes, on the bed...”