HOPELESS OPUS / PRIVATE, NATHANOS

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  • »»» Trial one was complete. Briarpaw had quickly finished her combat trials, much more swiftly than she had thought, and she was pleased with how she had performed, pinning Violetfields like that. However, she did feel bad for splitting the warrior’s chin open and hoped the she-cat wouldn’t hold it against her forever. It had never been her intention to hurt her, and though accidents happened, it brought up bad memories of the other time she had hurt someone, hurt them so bad they’d lost their life by her paws.


    The apprentice was tired and hungry. It was midday now, and she had spent all morning preparing for the first of her trials. Now she was given permission to eat and rest, and that was exactly what she would do. The soon-to-be warrior dragged her tired limbs towards the freshkill pile and selected the juiciest sparrow she could find. Typically, Briarpaw took small morsels for herself, but today caused for some celebration. She hadn’t been this happy or proud of herself in moons, and if a bigger portion of food was what it took to retain such high spirits, then by StarClan she would do it.


    After selecting her meal, she carried it over to the outskirts of camp. Briarpaw had become a bit of a recluse in recent moons, shutting herself off from forming new relationships. There were moments where she would share her affection, but they were few and far between. Anyone she cared about usually died, and she couldn’t go through that pain one more time. So, in her private corner, she began to celebrate quietly with herself.


    Soon she would be a warrior of DarkClan!


    / Nathanos



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    I'M SO BEYOND BEING HURT AND HEART BROKEN

    DARKCLAN APPRENTICE — FEMALE — 12 MOONS — PLAYED BY VESPERTINE

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    He watched her, through a blistering golden eye, his dark pupil narrowed into a dangerous charcoal dagger. Look at her, acting so proud, acting so happy, that murderer, killer of friends. He knew it was hypocritical of him to despise someone for an act he used to commit to almost every day, but Nathanos didn't care. Owlflight had been his friend, and Briarpaw had killed him. It didn't matter that Owlflight had killed first, no, Nathanos could care less about that. It was strange, that he could be such a strong advocate for revenge, but then condemn it when it involved someone he had once cared about. Nathanos' striped, thickly furred tail lashed across the rough stone of the cavern floor. Maybe he should confront her about it, give her a scare. Ruining her day sounded like something that would help him blow off some steam, and Nathanos had never been very good at keeping his mouth shut. Rising to his massive paws from where he had been sitting, the brute tabby approached Briarpaw as she ate her meal, his reinforced weaponry scraping and dragging against the rock with every rough step, muscular figure smelling of the herbs that covered his back from the wounds he had been granted by that bear. Briarpaw had been there to help, but that didn't do anything to calm him down. He even remembered her trying to stop his bleeding when he had collapsed that day in the cavern, but damn her, he didn't care. It was all an act, he was sure of it. She knew that he knew, and she was trying to get on his good side, or so he thought. He practically stomped toward her, his tail snaking through the warm atmosphere behind him in an annoyed display. The closer he got, the angrier he got, and his ears folded backwards as a snarl curled his mutilated lip.


    "Well well, look what we've got here. A murderer enjoyin' her meal. Say, mind if I join ya? I don't intend to eat anything, mind you, I prefer not to think about murder on a full stomach, you see." Nathanos' rough voice was ushered past his lethal fangs in the form of a growl. "So, did you enjoy it? Killing Owlflight? I heard the only punishment you got was a simple 'go tell them yer sorry'. Pathetic. You got off easy, you little...GRR! You killed my friend! Maybe I should take revenge, just like you did, hm? Maybe my punishment will just to say my apologies to yer grave? But no, I'd be exiled, wouldn't I? Because I'm not you, right? No, I'm a former BloodClanner, while you were born here, weren't you? So yer allowed to murder people and get away with it, isn't that right? I wonder who you'll kill next. Once a killer, always a killer." Nathanos hissed, his serpentine voice dripping with venom. "I can't believe you just got a slap on the paw fer killing my friend! Fer killing a cat with family! Fer killin' a cat who had people who cared about him! And all you had to do was say you were SORRY? SORRY? Are you sorry, Briarpaw? I don't think so. I think you lied through yer pretty little teeth." He had heard about the punishment from another warrior, and it didn't sound fair to him at all. If Briarpaw had been punished in any other way, he hadn't heard about it. As far as he knew, she had gotten off practically free! He had been hated for murder in BloodClan, outcast by the pathetic do-gooders that had taken over his home, but everyone seemed to love Briarpaw! Oh yeah, they just seemed to think she was the best! Look at her, becoming a warrior, hahaha, isn't it great, a new warrior of DarkClan, woohoo! Nathanos' thoughts were raging, and his facial expression was stormy.


    code by xredxpepperx - art by midsummer

    KVzvFjF.png

    i'll be good, i'll be good, and i'll

    LOVE THE WORLD LIKE I SHOULD -- PENNED BY SHEOGORATH

  • »»» She had been thoughtfully chewing a bite of her sparrow when the ugly monster known as Nathanos came lumbering towards her. He looked angry, more than usual. What in StarClan’s name was his deal? Briarpaw watched him, pale eyes narrowing when she realized he was going to say something to her. But what? What had she done to him? Given him the stink eye a few times? Maybe this was about Summerpaw. It was clear that she and Briarpaw had gotten off on the wrong foot, and she and Nathanos had once been former Clanmates. Had she put him up to this, using the big tom as a lackey to try and scare her? Ha! He wouldn’t dare hurt her, not when he was already being watched by the Clan anyway, not when her own kin and mentor ruled DarkClan. It was a sorry excuse to hide behind, but Nathanos didn’t scare her, not one bit.


    He opened his mouth to speak once he reached her and Briarpaw became miffed. How dare Summerpaw—…


    But this wasn’t about Summerpaw. No, this was about an old ghost who had been haunting her recently, ever since the border patrol to ShadowClan. Whatever she did, she just couldn’t seem to shake Owlflight. He was always there, reminding her of her sin.


    She didn’t know what to feel as Nathanos went on about how she wronged him, how she wasn’t sorry, how she should have been punished. She felt angry, angry that someone like him could accuse someone like her of such acts when his body count had to be far greater, when those he had hurt extended far wider than her reach. It was entirely hypocritical and unfair of him! He was BloodClan, he was a killer by nature, the need for violence ran through his veins. She felt guilty, because here was yet another life she had affected. As Owlflight’s actions had destroyed a family, a Clan, so had she destroyed a family… and friends. Her punishment had been nothing compared to the pain he had caused, he was right about that. She had even begged Driftingstar to give her more despite being grateful that he hadn’t exiled her… because as horrible as it was, he had felt for her, the whole Clan had, because she was so young and too immature and had seen too much in her young life to deal with her emotions properly. It didn’t justify it, no, she knew the warrior code, she knew killing was wrong, but… she could be sympathized with.


    Her anger won out. She should have just sat and took everything Nathanos told her because despite his hypocritical actions he was right, but she couldn’t because he didn’t understand how Owlflight had wronged her family and how horrible she felt even three moons later for what she had done.


    “You talk about Owlflight as if he was some hero. He wasn’t,” Briarpaw spat, fur standing on end as she stood up, pale eyes flashing with aged. “When I was five moons old, still a kit in the nursery, he murdered my father, took all nine lives. Do you think he cared that Pitchstar had four kits and a mate and a whole Clan relying on him? My mother left us after that, it was Eaglestar who spent those last few weeks raising us. And then my mother died too. She died right in front of my eyes. All because she wanted revenge on ShadowClan for destroying our family. So what of Pitchstar’s family and friends? He was a good leader, everyone cared about him, and your deputy murdered him!” she yowled. She didn’t care who heard her. Images of her father’s body flooded her mind, so gruesome and bloody, and she felt sick.


    “For the longest time I wanted revenge. I made Eaglestar train me until I could barely stand because I was so exhausted. I was going to kill Owlflight when he ascended to leader in the same way he killed my father. I was going to rip away every life, make him die nine times over, before sending his dark soul to the depths of the Dark Forest,” she hissed, pacing back and forth. Nathanos had gotten her riled, he really had. “And then— he came to our border. He found me, and he begged me to kill him. I was happy to do it. I was happy to murder him right then and there. I never felt such joy as his blood coated my fur and stained my teeth red. I never thought I could love the feeling of a life slipping away. But I did. It was euphoric. My revenge was mine, and I had killed him.”


    She swallowed thickly, tears pricking her pale eyes. “But then I remembered the things he had said to me before he died. He was sorry, that there was a monster inside of him that he just wanted to be rid of. He didn’t want to burden his family any longer, and he wanted to live in the Dark Forest as he thought he deserved. He might not have been a hero, but he wasn’t a villain. Someone… Kai. He said Kai made him do it, and he seemed sincere. Then I thought of his family. I knew he had a mate and kits, friends, and I realized I had done to them what he had done to me. That euphoric feeling vanished, and all I felt was guilt. I do feel awful about killing him. I think about it every day. But guilt isn’t an emotion you can comprehend, is it? You stand here accusing me of murder, of one day killing again, when you stand before me, Sheogorath reincarnate. The teeth on your collar speak volumes. You’re far more a murderer than I was, and you’ve destroyed far more lives than I have,” she hissed, tail lashing back ad forth.


    Briarpaw swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn’t done, not yet. “My punishment should have been far more than it was, I will agree with you on that. I begged Driftingstar to give me more. I spent two moons in the nursery kitsitting and hating myself, I spent two moons doing every chore in camp that there ever could be, I faced the loved ones of Owlflight and told them what I had done, and seeing their pain broke me in two, but it wasn’t enough. It’ll never be enough. Maybe my punishment is to live with what I’ve done, be confronted by cats like you who know Owlflight, and make me live that day all over again,” she said, claws scraping against the rock beneath her paws. “You can be mad at me, Nathanos. You can be so furious that you want to kill me. But one thing you will not do is tell me who I will be or how I feel. I’m not a killer, I won’t be a killer, and I am sorry for what I’ve done. Take it or leave it, it’s up to you.”

    XUTfCF5.png?1

    I'M SO BEYOND BEING HURT AND HEART BROKEN

    DARKCLAN APPRENTICE — FEMALE — 12 MOONS — PLAYED BY VESPERTINE

    The post was edited 1 time, last by BRIARHEART ().

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    He expected her to be angry, her ranting words piercing his torn and tattered ears. She spoke of how Owlflight wasn't a hero, how he had murdered Pitchstar in cold blood. Nathanos chuckled coldly in response, more along the lines of an angry snort, really. He didn't care. Why did she think he'd care? Maybe she didn't. Maybe Briarpaw was just trying to blow off some steam, same as him, but he couldn't help but feel a mix of amusement rush into his furious thoughts as she tried to justify her actions. Perhaps she was trying to garner his pity and sympathy by telling him her little sob story, but Nathanos was not the type of cat to feel such things, especially not for someone that had murdered his former best friend.


    Whatever her reasoning for her biting words, Nathanos found himself just agitated that she was speaking so much. Why couldn't she just accept that she had been in the wrong, and shut her dung-filled mouth? The former BloodClan deputy didn't care! He didn't care that her mother had died, or that Eaglestar had finished raising her and her siblings, or that Pitchstar had family and friends that cared for him. All he cared about was the fact that Owlflight had been his friend, and regardless of all of his past crimes, he hadn't deserved to be murdered by some pathetic apprentice. Nathanos growled as Briarpaw continued speaking, his tail tip twitching from side to side in clear annoyance.


    Briarpaw went on about wanting revenge, about training for it, about dedicating her life to it. Nathanos...could understand that, he supposed. He knew what rage felt like. It hid in the back of his mind every day that he still lived, and he too plotted vengeance, though not against any particular cat, but against BloodClan as a whole. Still, he wasn't going to show the apprentice that he felt any amount of understanding, his gaze was harsh and cold. But then she claimed that Owlflight had begged her to kill him, and he felt fury boil up within his throat. Owlflight would never show such pathetic weakness! Briarpaw was lying, she had to be. Nathanos snarled, his tail lashing as Briarpaw continued, on and on, about how she had felt afterwards, about how sorry she really was, about her punishment and how it wasn't enough, and then claimed she wasn't a killer. Lying mouse-brain.


    "I don't believe you." Nathanos hissed. "I don't believe that Owlflight begged you to kill him. I don't believe yer sorry, either. And don't tell me yer not a killer, after you've already killed. You can't bring up my crimes like it absolves you of yer own, either." The brute tabby curled his lip as his firm voice shot past his maw. If Briarpaw really was sorry, she'd have to prove it with more than just words. Nathanos didn't know how she could possibly prove that to him, the past was in the past, after all, but that didn't make him any less angry. "I don't like you. I'll never like you." He determined firmly. He didn't care that the apprentice had been there during the bear attack, that she had helped prevent him from bleeding out. He didn't care about much of anything in that moment, but one thing was for certain, he wanted her dead. Nathanos wanted to kill Briarpaw. He couldn't comprehend her guilt, so he didn't believe in it. He couldn't believe that Owlflight had given himself to death so easily, so he denied it. He couldn't stand hearing the apprentice defend herself, so he hated her for it. Call him a hypocrite should you dare, but one thing no one had ever called him was rational.


    code by xredxpepperx - art by midsummer

    KVzvFjF.png

    i'll be good, i'll be good, and i'll

    LOVE THE WORLD LIKE I SHOULD -- PENNED BY SHEOGORATH

  • »»» Briarpaw’s lips curled back into a snarl. “And believing he begged me to kill him is so hard? Harder than believing a seven-moon-old took down full grown, experienced warrior that took nine lives from a leader?” she scoffed and rolled her eyes at him. “You really are blind.” Her tail lashed furiously. This asshole! He was nothing but a hypocrite. Did he not realize any of the words that spewed from his mouth? She was a killer after taking one life, and that made her as vile and evil as he who had taken many? Because that made a lot of sense. She decided he could call her all he wanted because he had no logic behind his words, no reason, not when he was as cruel as he came, not when he thought with his emotions rather than his brain. That was what had gotten her into trouble.


    The apprentice’s claws scraped on the ground as Nathanos said he didn’t like her and never would. A snarky laugh left her lips and she threw her head back. “Do you think I give two rats tails whether or not you like me? Because you’re awfully full of yourself if you think I care. I just wanted to give you my side of the story before you believe every word of mousebrained ShadowClanners who believed their precious Owlflight could do no wrong. So now that you’ve heard it, I don’t care what you think,” she hissed . “But do use that brain of yours if it even exists and don’t do anything stupid. You wouldn’t want to be thrown out of another Clan, would you?”

    XUTfCF5.png?1

    I'M SO BEYOND BEING HURT AND HEART BROKEN

    DARKCLAN APPRENTICE — FEMALE — 12 MOONS — PLAYED BY VESPERTINE