// I'm so sad bc I had been typing up a huge ass thing and my computer shut off. This was all the site saved on it so I just went with the bits that were saved than the OG post. I also made the text wider so it would be less of a pain to read. enjolras h.
Their ship name is incredibly pretty tbh bc Alejandro has spanish accent to his + Enjolras so it makes it really nice. Ajolras & Enjandro. (Ahh - jore - lass) (Eh - n - han - drough)
Tonight had been a good one for the gray and blue big cat. The party went well, he met some friendly faces, made some new friends and even rediscovered how to enjoy socializing. He wasn't one hundred percent okay with being alive again and his past still miserably hung over like a dreary crowd. Which brought the Bengals mind back to earlier events. The Dark Dynasty leader's wings had shocked depressing memories through his body. A sad expression painted like dark skies across his face and a painful impression to his brow as he struggled to push back the memories. "I love you Alejandro. So much..." Soft breaths brushed against his cheek like looking at a dream through pink lenses. Lashes fluttered delicately against his neck fur and a deep chuckle reverberated Al's heart. Gentle paws placed a fake rose between the crevice of his cranium and torn ear. Clenching his eyes shut and gritting his canines together Alej was slowly being absorbed by the past again. No, no, no. Please just let me have one day where I don't have to feel it all. Please. Like always the cruel void ignored him like a tick in a squirrels pelt. Insignificant, unnoticed, and unloved. As he had always been and always would be. Everyone Alejandro had ever learned to love left him or perished long, long ago. His father, brothers, sister, cousins, best friends, fiance, boyfriends, clanmates and his own self-worth.
A familiar feeling of fire and emptiness dragged at his chest. Crawling like a fungus eating him from the inside out and wrapping around his throat like rose thorns came those ungodly painful emotions. Longing, anger, hatred, despair, loneliness, frustration, depression, missing, emptiness and confusion. It was verbatim to know why Alejandro was the way that he was but it was also complete chaos to recall it all. It was too much for his living brain to hold at full capacity. Slowly the tom hunched over as if his stomach were in pain. Shaking visibly with his ears pulled back and lips pushed by fangs clenching. Finally the tears came and the burning sensation amplified tenfold. Creasing along his tear line in thick wet drops that smeared the charred ground beneath his paws. I just wish I could forget or go back somehow. Why do I always have to be in limbo when I die and why am I forced to return. What did I do. What have I done for something to hate me this much! Then faces collided like burned video tapes. The scared cries and whimpers of the several prisoners he brutally executed. It was my job! I had no other choice! It was execute them or be executed... Guilt wasn't an unfamiliar emotion and it was rearing its ugly head alongside the typhoon of other twisting emotions. All their tear stained faces brimmed like an ocean dragging him down to the crushing depths of the waters stomach.
Surrounding his every part and breaking him down to the molecular level. He wanted to take it all back to never have done it at all. Alej could've just run away, killed himself, faked his own death but no. The Tiger had been executed himself and he remembered the unimaginable pain of the iron rod shoved through his scruff. Holding Alejandro prisoner to the earth as he was unable to move from the gross hurt of his nerve ending dying and his organs shutting down. After five days he'd perished like a sick roadkill and his body had been tossed into the bay like fish food. Haven't I suffered enough for my sins? I have never killed again and I never intend to. Please put me to rest or at least make their cries stop! Alone the Bengal sat at the border where the jungles charred edges jabbed at his pad. Sitting there just tangled in his own web of misery, tears rapidly trailing down his cheeks, and over his nose as he shook pathetically.