well, this sure is something, isn’t it? you used to dream of being up here - albeit the setting was a little different, having been when you still lived in the oceanside territory and meetings were held within the caves. now, obviously things aren’t exactly like they’d been in your childhood dreams of grandeur. you’re not the titular leader, obviously - this is just some dope as fuck communism shit. is communism the right term? no, probably not. democracy? socialism? hell if you know, actually. you don’t even understand politics enough to place the exiles rank system within a hierarchy style.
you hop up onto one of the tables in the cafeteria, taking a moment to settle yourself into a comfortable position (not to mention puffing out your chest a bit and trying to look as cool as you can make yourself) before even considering calling out to the exiles. you want to relish this moment, a chance to drink up the feeling of being here before you have a crowd of, most likely confused, exiles at your feet. deep breath in, long breath out, one last quick once over of your fur to make sure you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed. yeah, now you’re ready.
”EXILES! GATHER ROUND FOR A MEETING, BABES,” you call, certainly not as loud as damion tends to be in all his big cat glory, but suitably high volume. it’s loud enough that you’ll be heard by anyone close enough to care about a meeting. you watch as members start to filter in, and god if this isn’t a fabulous antidepressant. you almost - almost - lose yourself in the feeling, like you’re on stage, and then remember this is certainly a confusing and unexpected event to… well, literally everyone except damion, cody, and of course, you. ”before you all get your panties in a twist, no i have not in fact overthrown damion. this is some teamwork shit, you’ll hear from him after you hear from me,” you explain, your mouth twitching upwards into a gentle smirk at the word panties. it’s a funny fucking word, yeah? deal with it.
”anyways! let’s get right into this folks,” you begin, your voice quickly falling out of a friendly tone and into a more professional, customer service type voice. that’s right, you can be professional when you want to be - suck on that, haters. ”i’d like to start off with a warm welcome to our latest members - CAUSTIC , AVARICE , giorno g. , EYGON , batcavepaw , klara. , aegis. , .ARON , KIYOSHI , ADRESTIA P.A. , and sevrin,” you list off the newest crop of exiles, and jeez, that was a fucking mouth full. you’re glad, though. the more the merrier. ”welcome to all of you, we’re glad to have you living with us. if you haven’t yet, make sure to sign up for a room assignment!”
”next up, on the topic of raids and shit: the sanctuary is now an official enemy of the state - that’s us, duh - on account of having walked into our lovely home to fuck shit up,” you say, your voice growing a little darker, angrier. ”that being said, here’s a reminder for you all. anyone who wants to can host a raid, whenever you’d like! if you want to raid a certain target, and no one else is hosting a raid on them? go fuck shit up, kids. focus on our enemies first, though. neutrals are still fair game, but enemies are more important.”
you do a quick visual sweep, making sure you still have everyone’s attention, because you’re still not done. ”policies! y’all have done a great job at making sure to hit the polls when it comes to our policies, so here’s the verdict: all the policies from the latest discussion are now in effect. i won’t be going too far into details here, but here’s the gist: as far as neutrals, they’re fair game, but for the love of all that is holy please focus on enemies first. they’re the ones attacking us, after all,” you say, narrowing your eyes slightly as you speak. ”as far as the age limit, opinions were fairly evenly divided, so here’s the compromise: unless it is in self defense, i.e our enemies are knowingly sending children to war with us, we’ll have a six moons age limit - anyone younger is off limits for torture aside from the condition i stated before, you're still welcome to capture the kiddos, just don't turn them into scrap, yeah?” you say, taking a longer pause than between previous announcements to let people chew that one over.
”alright, here’s my last round of announcements before i pass the torch over,” you start, your tone shifting back to a more relaxed one to match the shift in metaphorical tone. ”cody’s hosting a game of netball, so make sure to go check that out if you’ve got time. barghest is doing checkups, and we all want to be in tip-top shape so go take advantage of that. barghest, man of action aren’t ya, is also holding a raid rally - hit him up on that you bloodthirsty animals,” you pause to take a breath, something you really need to remember more often. ”finally, reminder that we’ve got a room decorating contest going on! can i get a ‘hell yeah’ for making this prison look more like a luxury hotel?” you finish, quickly running over the various things you’ve said to make sure you didn’t forget anything. ”alright, i think that’s it for me. damie, take it away,” you conclude, winking at the lion whilst forcibly assigning him an adorable nickname.
- welcome to all our new/returning friends! if you haven’t, make sure to check out the room sign ups
- sanctuary is now an official enemy
- reminder that anyone can host raids! target official enemies first, but neutrals are also fair game.
- the policies discussed in the most recent discussion thread are now in effect - make sure to read up on those HERE
- BOOTY LIKE POW / o, weekly task + netball
- EXTRA EXTRA - open; exile check ups
- ROOM DECORATING CONTEST | ends JUNE 21
- VENGEANCE IS SWEET - [EXILES RAID RALLY]
SPEECH ☼ TAGS ☼ EXILES