| a rider’s tale |

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    Alexander did have to say that he was a bit impressed with the way the other was able to carve it up so quickly. He guessed that he had been used to doing this for quite a long time now. He let out some grunts as he adjusted himself more. He was trying to focus on anything other than what he was feeling at the current moment in time. He perked up a little more when he began to speak. “Sure. At least it will help me sleep more. As long as I can eat before I take it, I will be okay. I don’t want to fall asleep before the food is ready. I’m starving.” He admitted. His stomach agreed as it began to make some noises. He cracked a light smile as he heard that. “See? Even my stomach is agreeing.” He commented with a laugh. He was still trying to keep the mood as light as he could. He didn’t know that the other male had gone to receive orders. He would’ve been worried if he did know.

    ( ahh yeah, i've heard a couple of his songs, i get what you mean. also, my muse is super high right now for pirate-themed stuff but i have no threads with it, probably because it's quite niche ;-; )


    For much of the time Lorcan had been alive, his family wasn't the most powerful because of their background as foreigners and reputation as fighters. It had allowed his cousins to take many different paths in life that some noble families wouldn't allow. With their newfound favour after the war began brewing Lorcan had found himself with new responsibilities, but he never forgot the lessons of fighting and survival that his father had taught him when he was young, the many months spent learning to survive in the harsh mountainous climate of his homeland were firmly ingrained into his memory. This upbringing made him adept in skills of foraging and survival, which in turn made him a brilliant scout. His family had always known and been taught that no part of an animal should be wasted, because you never knew when your next successful hunt would be. It was this experience that made his hands work quickly when preparing and cooking the meat, made him observant when hunting and quick with tracking, though these skills weren't ones he was very eager to show off.


    A skill he was much more proud of was his ability to heal others with little more than what the land provided him. Mixing his cousin's teachings on medicine with his father's foraging lessons gave him a particularly good eye for healing, it was this skill he used when mixing the paste-like substance that would heal Alex's wound. Binding it would just prolong the healing process, so it was easier to let the herbs do its work and make sure the other soldier didn't move too much to disturb it. "It should be done soon." he assured Alex about the food, then moving to sate his curiosity a little. "Why did you come with me? I could have gone hunting on my own, and you wouldn't have strained your injury." he asked. There were other questions he had, but perhaps it was best to keep conversation on the present, to not allow Alex to go digging around in Lorcan's own past.

    Alexander wasn’t particularly on the same peg that the other male was on. He only had something to prove to his brother. He always felt like he was never able to fill his shoes. He wanted that all to change so very much. He was ecstatic when Sephoa’s egg appeared to him that one day. It made him parent’s proud, but he only received a congratulations from his brother. That had stung a good bit. The reason he was here in this position was to not only help with the war effort, but to impress his brother. He knew it sounded stupid when he said it, but it was a matter of his pride. He felt like Lorcan would never really understand what he was feeling, so he didn’t bother voicing any of it. Lorcan probably wouldn’t care either. Alexander truly felt more alone than he ever thought he did before. The other male was still giving him a cold shoulder on certain things. Maybe it would’ve just been better for him to have died.


    He blinked to clear his mind of those types of thoughts, knowing it would get him nowhere now. He nodded his head some as he heard his words about the food. He only spoke when he was asked a question. “I wanted to come with so that I could go out and get some fresh air. I have been stuck in this house for over a week now. You can’t blame me for wanting to try to get back out there. I thought my wound had been healed enough for me to be able to handle this.” He explained. He paused for a moment then, debating on saying more. “It doesn’t really matter anymore anyways, I guess. Everyone most likely believes that I am dead. There really isn’t a difference of me being alive or being dead at the moment.” His voice cracked a little then. He wouldn’t never admit it, but he truly had never thought the highest of himself due to the issues with his brother. It was starting to be seen now though. There wasn’t anything he could do to mask it anymore. Sephoa was gazing at her rider with rather sad eyes. Do not say that. She scolded in a gentle tone. Alexander just shrugged his shoulders some, dropping his gaze to his lap.

    With no siblings, Lorcan likely wouldn't understand Alex's motives for joining the war. Lorcan did so out of duty and the will of his father, went through tough training by Lazayah and threw away his hopes of being a doctor in order to make his family proud, so the appeal of making someone proud he could understand well. The comment about there being no difference between living or dying did strike Lorcan as strange and a little worrying. "I beg to differ, being dead is awfully final." he said, though quickly moved away from the rather heavy subject as he finished tending to the wound and had to check on the food. A few more minutes, so he supposed they had some time to talk. "You're good with that bow-" he commented, not entirely sure how to finish the phrase that he had begun. "Is it your favoured weapon?" he asked, wondering how Alex fought when in a real fight, and who had taught him. Lorcan assumed that it was the same person who taught him to ride a dragon. Though there was also the matter of magic, whoever taught Alex to use his could have also taught him to fight. The redhead had picked up on the magic when he first helped them, though he never fully understood how it worked as he had no magic of his own, so he thought better than to ask about it.

    Alexander had a strong feeling that the other male wouldn’t understand anything that he had gone through. He didn’t want to push his problems onto the other male like that though. He felt like no one would ever understand what all he was going through. After all, he had been alone trying to fill the shoes of his brother. He didn’t think that anyone was going through the same thing as him. He knew Lorcan wasn’t. He was a single child who didn’t even want to follow in his father’s footsteps. He took some light breaths as he tried to keep his mind calm. It was getting harder though. He went through stages like this. Each time they just got worse and worse. “It is final in a good way. At least you don’t have to worry about everything anymore. I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to impress James anymore. God I could never fill his shoes.” He spoke quietly. He reached up to rub his face with his free hand then. “It isn’t my preferred weapon. I am fine with fighting with anything. I was taught in every way possible. What about you? What if your weapon of choice?” He asked softly. He couldn’t get his mind off of everything though. He was taught in basic magic, but it had been used in a long time.

    ( Just warning you, this is a mobile post. )


    That way of thinking was certainly worrying, and Lorcan would be sure to remember the name James so that he could ask about it at another point. He could understand being under pressure to make people proudand running yourself into the ground to try to live up to expectation - his father might have been merciful in posting Lorcan as a scout, but Lazayah had been nowhere near as merciful in her training of him, always comparing him to his cousin Sialva. Speaking of his training, talking about it was probably necessary here. "I prefer swords, though Lazayah made sure that I could fight with just about everything. I think she wanted me to be best with a spear, like her." he responded, gesturing towards to the door against which leant the two-handed sword that he favoured in a fight.

    dw about it :) ))


    Alexander always did love to talk about his own family because he did find them quite wonderful as people. But he caused his own problems with this and felt like he would never be able to get out of this rut that he was in. He took some rather deep breaths to keep himself calm still. He needed to not think like how he currently was. If he did, it would certainly kill him off. He lifted his gaze some to look at the other male once more. At least he seemed to be quite calm still. Maybe talking with Lorcan and all would be good again. He needed a friend now more than ever. “Spear fighting is terrible. I can do it, but it is very odd. Sword and bow are the ones that I am best at.” He informed. He offered him a weak smile then. Sephoa was still watching him with a rather worried look in her eyes.

    Taking note of the strange change in attitude, Lorcan thought it best to distract Alex from it, and so continued the conversation as he moved to check on the food again. "You wouldn't say that if you saw Lazayah fight." he commented, clearly not being too fond of his mentor. He respected her a great deal for her abilities, but it was the application of those abilities that irked him. It was undeniable that she was a talented fighter, though he doubted Alex had ever seen her fight if he was so estranged from royalty and she clung to them for power.


    Satisfied that the food was done, he went about dishing it out and came back over with two bowls of stew. It wasn't the most lavish food ever, but it was better than nothing. Handing the food over, a question nagged at his mind, and he decided that even though it was likely not the smartest move to ask about the rebellion, the question that was bothering him was one that had to be asked at some point. "Just how important are you to the rebellion?" he asked, swiftly wanting to change what he had said, as this wasn't an interrogation. "I mean, are people going to look for you? How likely is it that they find you?" he clarified, the statement of 'and find me as a result' went unspoken, but it was an implied truth. Alex had sworn not to hurt or kill him, but everyone else in the rebellion had sworn no such oath.

    Alexander managed to crack a very weak smile as he heard his words. “I don’t think that I want to see her fight. I would be terrified to even be near her. I know she trained under the man that trained me, but she is so much more ruthless than I ever thought for her to be. I couldn’t even imagine her training you. I don’t know how you could’ve survived it.” He spoke truthfully. He had only heard a little bit about her from what he had told him. He was surprised to see that Lorcan had turned out as good as he did. His worry was that he would’ve turned to he just as bad as she was. He was truly grateful that Lorcan had been the one to find him.


    He murmured a soft ‘thank you’ to the other as he brought the food over. He began to eat it happily. “It tastes very good. Thank you so much.” He repeated his appreciation then. He continued to eat until he heard his words. He paused as he tried to think about what he should say. “My brother is one of the leaders of the rebellion. I know I mentioned him before. His name is James. They probably think that I am dead by now though. After all, I have been gone for over a week. That is normal protocol for someone to be dead. I doubt anyone is going to try and come and find me. You will be safe, I promise.” He assured. He didn’t want Lorcan to worried anymore.


    This isn’t my best post, I apologize. And I would definitely date Mazak what a hottie))

    Lorcan was grateful of the influence of his kinder cousins in mellowing the lessons Lazayah taught him and helping to not let him turn into a monster as well. Many knew of her due to her notoriety, as the war had been justification for many of her worst deeds. "She didn't hurt me too much. Would never have dared to kill me, my father is too important for that. He entrusted me to her to train, so he could look the other way for some things, used to say it would make me stronger." he said, unsure to this day if what his father said was true. He didn't know what the measure for strength was or how he could compare it to how he was before training, but it hadn't changed the fact that he never wanted to be a soldier and he hadn't yet killed anyone, so perhaps it was debatable just how successful Lazayah's training had been.


    Lorcan also wasn't sure if Alex was being truthful, though he would choose to believe him until given reason not to. No rebellion soldiers would be knocking at the door to get him back, though he was surprised that they would let a relative of one of their leaders, a dragonrider at that, just disappear into enemy territory without sending a search party. "So you want to live up to your brother's legacy, to step out of his shadow, I can understand that." he commented. Lorcan had no siblings with which to have that relationship, but the looming presence of his father and ancestors was more than enough that he should want to do great things - he just didn't want to do the great things his father had laid before him. "It seems reckless to throw yourself into the war for it, though. Surely there are other ways to gain fame and help others that are less risky for yourself and your dragon?" he said. Assuming that Alex had joined the rebellion solely for the praise of his brother was perhaps too simplistic a view, but it was all the redhead had heard from Alex thus far about his motives.


    ( it's okay, this post is pretty rushed ngl. I screenshare with one of my friends while i'm drawing & she always tells me to stop making my ocs hot. i don't really think that's something to complain about lol. Mazak is definitely one of my favs out of the family, he's just very Soft Goth. He will talk about how peaceful graveyards are & will probably quote romantic poetry about it or some shit & looks stoic and intimidating but is very emotional. )

    Alexander could feel his expression shifting, a frown soon coming onto his lips. Everything that the other male was saying was absolutely terrible. He couldn’t believe that he had to go through things like that. It just gave him a better perspective in which to view Lorcan’s father. “Harm to one is not strengthening their will. It will just hurt you more in the long run. I’m not surprised that Lazayah hurt you. She is blood thirsty and will do anything to get in with people of higher power. She wants to be exactly like them. That is what I was always told during my trainings. Gäurther wasn’t proud of the way that she had turned out. He believed that he had trained her better than that.” He admitted. He looked away for a few moments to try and figure out whether he should speak again. “I’m glad you didn’t turn out like her. You’re wonderful.” He added on in a soft tone.


    He knew it was odd to hear that someone wouldn’t be coming to look for him. He just didn’t believe that someone would. He never felt that important. If they did, he would make sure to get around it all somehow. He wouldn’t let any harm come to Lorcan. He was sure of that. “He just was never proud of me. My parents always have been, but he never was. I just want him to say that he is, for once in his life.” He explained. He doubted Lorcan could relate to it that much, but figured he must have some type of similar feeling due to his father. He couldn’t imagine having his father be someone like that. It was quite terrible as well. “I didn’t join the rebellion to impress my brother. I had very different reasons for it. The town that I come from used to be very wealthy and very wonderful. People would come from all over the land to see it. Believe it or not, my family was rich when I was younger. That was until I was twelve. The monarchy came in and took James away. They took a child from every family. They said they were going to take them off to learn to become diplomats. They ended up abusing them into doing work for years. While they were away, they kept bringing more soldiers in to enforce tariffs on everything. All the money that we had is gone. They brought James and the kids back two years before the rebellion started. We forced the monarchy and soldiers out with the rebellion. They took everything from us unfairly. They have done it to half of the Empire. I want everything to return to be right. That is why I joined. Surely you must understand that.” He commented as he gazed at him.


    dw about your post! it is wonderful as always! I love him))

    Lorcan knew that he didn't deserve the hurt his mentor had caused him, his cousins and friends had told him that much many times over, so the words coming from Alex were nothing new. The sincere expression that he was wonderful was a strange one. "How can you say that about me? You barely know me." he responded. He knew that he wasn't like his father or Sialva, but he was certainly no saint. His training with Lazayah had influenced his thinking (though Nashmira and Marnaya claimed that it wasn't irreversible damage done to his psyche) and Alex didn't know him well enough to claim such things, because even Lorcan himself didn't really know what he was capable of if his training was heeded. He was far too scared to find out. The claims Alex leveled against the monarchy were not new to him either, he was aware of the extortion of tribute from other provinces, but to abuse the people themselves? That didn't seem right nor did it seem wise. He was hesitant to trust such claims, though he doubted Alex had much of a reason to lie other than glorifying the rebellion.


    "No, I don't understand." he replied, though it wasn't a misunderstanding borne of confusion. "I can't understand because nothing of the sort happens to Svelans. The mountains aren't much use for resources other than lumber, but the people are pressed into service in the military. The monarchy says that we are better suited for it than most. I can understand being reviled by them for where you come from, what I don't understand is why that should lead to open rebellion. To war. To the destruction of other provinces so that yours might be left well alone. In liberating your own homeland, you are burning and looting everywhere else, the majority of people are unlikely to flock to your cause even if you win." he explained. They certainly had differing opinions on the war it seemed, but that was to be expected. Lorcan kept his tone in check, to prevent from sounding too aggressive, but he genuinely didn't see why everywhere else ruled by the monarchy should be rendered to ash for the sake of one province. He was only thankful that his own homeland, the Svela Mountains, remained unharmed in all this chaos.


    ( I was wondering how you pictured Lazayah?? I can't decide on an appearance for her & was wondering what you thought. ))

    Alexander had thought that they had been having a moment. He had believed that they were starting to like each other male. He assumed that he was completely wrong though with the way that the other was now starting to speak. It almost made his stomach turn. He moved his spoon around the in bowl some, trying to find the courage to eat again. It seemed to be escaping him. “I was just trying to be polite to you Lorcan. I guess it was wrong for me to do so. You seem to not know how to be kind or accept kindness.” He spoke truthfully. He hated that aspect about the other male and it showed on his expression.


    He narrowed his eyes some when he heard his words. “It isn’t just my province. It has happened everywhere other than where the monarchy’s allies live. Allies such as your family. Your family openly follows them even with your father knowing what all they do to their citizens.” He explained. “It led to rebellion because they were planning on stopping. They were beginning to kill young children if they didn’t obey.” His voice was starting to shake with anger from the situation that they were talking of. “It isn’t the rebellion that is burning down the cities or killing anymore citizens. Take a look at the colors on the armor the next time you fly over a battleground. You will then see that it isn’t my side doing the harm. It is your side. They set the towns on fire after the battles to pin it on us. They try to make us sound like barbarians who don’t care for their country. We are risking our lives to try and make the future better for everyone! But I wouldn’t expect someone as privileged as you to understand. You follow blindly to them. Maybe you should open your eyes before you are too far down a path you can’t turn back from.” His voice had dropped down to be a growl. His mood was completely ruined and so was his appetite. “I’m not hungry anymore. Don’t bother trying to treat me tonight either. I am going for a walk. For all you care, you will wish that I will die while I am out.” He spat the words out as he placed the bowl to the side. He shakily took and began to leave the house. He was still in a great deal of pain, but he didn’t care. He needed to get out of there.


    I honestly have no clue tbh cx))

    ( ok I'll do a couple of different concepts & let you choose maybe?? also my muse is terrible today, so idk if I'll be posting for a while and if I do i'm not sure how good it would be. )

    ( not gonna lie I really hate insomnia. I'm awake at almost 1am despite only having had 6 hours of sleep in the last two days. I probably shouldn't switch my computer back on or I'll never sleep but also just staring at the ceiling is doing no good :/ i think it's my medication doing this & I'm not a fan. idk I just needed to rant about that a bit, I guess I can try & write a post to get my mind off it, but I'm mobile & also not really able to write super well on so little sleep so idk how good it will be. )