icarus [o, returnish?]

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    .o EAGLESPIRIT o.

    WHEN I AM DEAD I WON'T JOIN THEIR RANKS

    CAUSE THEY ARE BOTH HOLY AND FREE



    .o tags o.


    .oOo.

    so im returning, kinda. i missed my sad boy okay lol

    also if you didn't pick it up eagle has been in the clan still this whole time just in the background!!

    .oOo.


    .oOo.

    Every storm has a time afterwards when everything is quiet. The rain has stopped but everything still stays inside in their shelter, the sun starting to rise up and shine through the dripping fields. The wind is quiet, the birds are quiet, and in that moment it seems like you're the only thing alive in the whole entire world.


    Somehow, this thought couldn't leave Eagle.


    He was very melancholy as of late. All he could think about was how he felt like that, at all times. He wished he could say it started with Jasperstar appearing once again but that was false. He wished he could say that it was after he started gaining responsibilities, after Sparrowsong died, after something. But the truth was that he was simply a broken man pretending he wasn't so this whole time. He was broken, he was damaged for his whole life, on a deep level -- in his soul. And no one knew, no one cared, no one at all. He was all alone, the only thing alive in the whole entire world in his little world.


    And it hurt.


    It hurt, to break and give up on everything, it hurt even more to see yourself fade away and forgotten, he was sure hated even by some. What did he fear more: hatred or apathy? It had to be apathy, but it felt better to think the worst that could happen was to be hated. That people cared about him in any way at all.


    No one cared about him. It was a simple fact of life, one he had always known. Before he had fought against it as hard as he could, fought against himself and the world at large. Now? Now he just felt tired. Defeated. But it was no matter, Windclan did as it did and there was a bitter relief knowing that they didn't need him. He never belonged there anyways, he wasn't a leader, he never was deputy even. Jasperstar was right to never promote him, and perhaps if he had taken Eaglespirit's advise to promote Morningstar to deputy way back when things would've turned out better.


    But it was no matter now. Everything was as it was supposed to be: Eaglespirit was a nobody at all, and that would never change.


    He sighed, and picked up the rabbit he had caught, turning to go back to camp and once again try and avoid as many as he could, unaware of the fact he was, indeed, not alone at that moment.

    .oOo.


    code by xredxpepperx

    Mammon was familiar with feeling like an outcast. But, in her case, it was pretty much true. She had not been born here. She joined a mere few moons ago, and even still she was not very good at interacting with her new Clanmates. She was a bit of a roamer around the territory. She supposed it came down to the fact that, for the first time in her life, she was living with some degree of freedom. Perhaps she could have lived a liner and truly had her freedom, but she needed the protection of a melee of scents to mask her own. Made it less likely that her family would track her down. Anyway, she had somewhat of a reason to stick around here at this point. Lizardbounce truly made this place home for her.


    The chocolate lynx point was, at present, doing what she did best - roaming the territory. She spotted the silvery pelt of the tom she recognized as the former leader of WindClan. She had never interacted much with him, and wasn't very versed in the politics of who was leading the Clan and why. He was clearly discontented, sighing as he hauled his kill back toward camp. "Bad day?" she inquired nonchalantly, drawing nearer to the tabby male.

    "SOMETIMES I FEEL COLD" & TAGS

    .o EAGLESPIRIT o.

    WHEN I AM DEAD I WON'T JOIN THEIR RANKS

    CAUSE THEY ARE BOTH HOLY AND FREE



    .o tags o.


    .oOo.

    Eaglespirit's eyes quickly darted to the other, however subtle it may be to anyone who sees him. Of course, he understood roaming the territory -- it was a common occurrence for him, even more so now that he barely felt he belonged or should be in camp, or Windclan in general. And being an outsider inside the group was nothing new for him -- he was a loner-raised, and remembered times when this was one of the greatest sins a cat could have. Newcomers nowadays didn't know how bad it was, for a time, and how foolish Jasperstar was at times for letting Eagle and Sparrow in. (He still felt that was a foolish mistake -- Eagle should've never been allowed in, especially how he was in younger moons).


    Morningstar was soft too, letting cats come and go from Windclan's border with no care in the world. Which was disappointing, Eaglespirit had promoted him as he trusted him to not let that happen, but he guessed he shouldn't've been leader in the first place so it didn't matter. He didn't have anything against Mammon, as she seemed like a good worker so far, however the giant tom still felt warriorship should be earned, no matter where you came from.


    Still, at her question he slightly shifted his jaw, but remained more or less expressionless, as always. He was never one to emote. "I guess you could say so." He stated, no hint at his thoughts or his meaning given in his voice or his mannerisms. While he had nothing against her personally, he still was not one to give out the contents of his thoughts so easily. He wanted to end the conversation there, not in the mood to talk (but then again, when is he nowadays?), however he knew that wouldn't help anything. "Any reason your wandering around?" He asked lamely, not good at small talk in the slightest.

    .oOo.