how do i stop being annoying

  • title

    i talk a lot lol how can i learn to shut up

    once i start i dont stop, and i can tell when people slowly stop caring. in fact i'm highly sensitive to it, it's not like i can't tell

    and yet i continue to struggle to continue a conversation because without attention i feel lost and nervous

    so how can i stop? i feel like i annoy everyone around me and it pisses me off. i post something and then don't get a response quickly and so i delete it minutes later but without an outlet to ramble to i feel like i'm choking on my own loneliness

    i dont know what to do whenever my friend ashya leaves because she's my only permanent stable outlet that doesn't mind if i ramble

    i'm just. ugh

    + also im not looking for ramble friends, sorry. just looking to figure out how to stop being so dependent on people's attention / stop talking

  • Well from what i know about you, i don't find you annoying. if you ever need someone to vent to or talk to. My pms & my discord is always open. but i understand how you feel. if there is anything i can do to tell. please let me know. i'm pretty sure that there are alot of people who love and adore you <3




  • I think your brain is exaggerating your perception of people being annoyed by you, but I understand what you're looking for here and I won't go down that road. I'll take your word for it. <3

    As for this ... it's a good question, and I struggle with it, too, especially with people I really care for. I want to share things with them, of course, and I feel much more in control and comforted when I am leading the conversation. I don't like attention but I do like knowing where a conversation will go, so I can relate, albeit for different reasons. I'd suggest two things:

    1. Finding a place or another person to whom you can ramble. I know you aren't looking for someone, so have you considered a Word document or a journal? Sometimes it just helps to literally get the words out and then they're out of your head. Plus, you can write as much as you want that way. Alternatively or in addition to, you can write everything you're thinking out somewhere private and then pick and choose what you actually want to spend your friend(s)'s attention span on.

    2. When in conversation with someone, IRL or online, really focus on them. Focus on what they're saying. Focus on internalizing their information. Imagine how they might've felt, immerse yourself in their story or whatever. Plan your responses, plan follow-up questions. Completely bury yourself in the other conversationalist(s)'s words. This will, hopefully, let you talk a lot while involving the other person/people in the conversation. Possibly, engaging more deeply with the other(s) may also help alleviate your feeling of loneliness.

    Also, I just want to say, you can still say what you want to say, and the same amount. A lot of times a great deal of information can be broken up chronologically to feel like a lot less. Consider what you want to say, pick out what's most important/pressing, and use your 'income'/allotment of words to start with that. Then engage with them. Then, if the conversation has kept going, reintroduce more of what you wanted to say. Rinse and repeat until your entire ramble has been rambled out, but slowly, so it doesn't overwhelm them or annoy them.

    I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful! Just a few ideas I had. I wish you the best of luck - and don't worry, you're not alone in this problem. c':

    ( when can i say i love you, and have it not be a lie? )

  • Ramble to me, lol. I'm a shy soul irl at first but once I warm up I'm goofy. I too feel like I'm annoying when I do ramble, I literally only have two friends in person rn so I always ramble to my closest sister.

    I suggest Merioneth's journal suggestion, also, I burn out energy by working out. It puts me in a good and more calm mental state, it depends on the person though.

    Take extra time to think. Give yourself room to construct a good observation, question, or answer. Force yourself to do this. Don't let excitement, or buoyancy, or anger, or fear keep you from it. Protect your emotions with sincerity. :) But be yourself!! Don't let your thoughts control you! Some people (like me) love stories and someone leading the conversation, but pause at times to give them the opportunity to speak.


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  • I have the exact same problem. I really want to have friends and be looked at as social and kind, not annoying. I feel like I'm pushing people away, but I don't know how to stop. My friends are just chatting and suddenly a random thought comes to me and I blurt it out. I can't control my mouth, and all attempts to be quiet failed. This is pretty helpful, I'll probably try the journal one!

    i forget my glasses all the time

    (i made that up myself, how poetic am i?)

    —— plays Nettlekit (DarkClan kit), Pepperpaw (ThunderClan apprentice), Mottlewish (SkyClan queen) | storage | character histories | in angst jail w/ luci

  • I feel all of y'all, my problem was that I grew up a very lonely child and never had friends so I overtalked whenever I had friends.

    Because I was a lonely kid, I clung to people that didn't really care about me and even verbally abused me.

    I'm still trying to work through it but my advice is just hang in there and assess whether your friendships are healthy or toxic like a lot of mine have been.

    Sorry for the rant and lame advice but hope it helps

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  • Hi! So I may not be the best person to listen to but... If you ever feel like you’re being annoying, it’s just you. And if someone actually calls you annoying? There’s no point in doing anything with them, because you as well as everyone else deserves to be with people that support and stand by you.

    I hope this helped! It wasn’t the best but... Yeah. I tried.

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