There will come a poet who's weapon is her word {death}


    -----> From the heavens, rain fell to the earth red. Like the sunset's ruby canvas itself was weeping upon the earth it was slowly abandoning into darkness. Ambi would know - she was an expert when it came to abandoning those you care about.

    And for what, exactly?

    As ambi soared above the winds, large wings gliding more thanks to the breeze than her own strength, the dragoness cried. Her tears fell red as they mixed with the blood pulsing from the various cuts and scars now adorning her once pure black scales. She had thought she'd been doing the right thing - a brave thing - when she'd left. She'd thought she was protecting her clan from herself. Bubblegum, like all Ambi's other half and adoptive siblings, would live much more peaceful lives without her. So would Nore. So would Bast, if she let herself accept that Ambi was more Sterlingsilver than Lastbastion.

    Oh, and how true that was!

    She'd run away to find out that hidden side of herself - to learn about her father. And Bast had been right! He'd been nothing but a scoundrel! A rotten rat that slept around, left behind those he claimed to love and spat on the face of order and honesty. He'd been an awful person, truly! And she'd thought her life would be better off knowing him!

    But, despite everything - despite all those she had hurt...could you blame her?

    She just...she wanted hope. For her dad. For herself. Hope that maybe who she was...wasn't as awful of a person as she thought. As she felt. As she acted.

    But who was she kidding?

    Wings flapping clumsily against the winds, Ambi let out an anguished cry. She was so STUPID! So foolish to think this was a good idea! Foolish to believe she was torn, halved or unloved. She just...she just wanted to go home. She wanted to see Bast again. To apologize to Helios. She just...she wanted them back. Did that make her awful? Who knew. But she wasn't confused.

    Not anymore.

    With a resounding crash, the dragonette fell to the ground. Her wings had given up, her legs too weak to help her land gracefully.

    By the time she opened her eyes, the sky had faded to a duky, lightless blue. Ambi craned her neck, blinking the tears - the blood- out of her gaze. Ignoring the agonizing shriek of her torn and bruised muscles, the girl forced herself to rise, at least by her front legs. Each step, she dragged herself along, pushing through the undergrowth towards home. She wanted to see Bast. She wanted to tell her how sorry she was. to press her face into her mom's fur. She wanted to feel her mom's touch again, to listen - really listen - to her words of love and understanding. She wanted her mom. Not some stupid, vain hope in a father that was long gone - she wanted her REAL mom. Bastion - even Nore! She wanted her baby siblings. She wanted to hug Bubblegum, apologize to her especially. Hold her close and promise, always, to protect her.

    Ambrosia sobbed in pain as her body folded in on itself. Reverting slowly - agonizingly - back into her feline form, her real form. The wounds traveled with her. The bites to her throat, the claw marks along her back, her missing ear. All of them.

    But still, despite all the ripping and pulling, shrinking and reforming, she struggled onwards.

    Nothing was going to stop her from seeing her mom, Helios and the rest of her family.

    She wouldn't let anything stop her.

    But with a final shake in her legs, she fell. Coughing, she tasted something metallic slip down her chin. Laying her head on the ground, she weakly reached out a paw.


    Don't let it be too late..

    coughcough // Charlotte A.

    " SPEECH "


  • ♥♥♥ A crash had sounded earlier in the day, but Bubblegum didn't even bother checking it out. The higher-ups could do it, the people better than her could do it. Though, curiosity never did cease to exist after the crash. Bubble just forced herself to carry on her day, trying not to figure out what it was or who it was. Perhaps it was just a tree falling, or a really... really big bird falling? Maybe it was that Grace girl fighting with Helios again.

    The curiosity came to a point where she could suppress it no longer, so here she was, racing through their territory with wind in her face and all emotions running wild. For once, ever since Ambrosia left, she actually felt alive. She no longer felt burdened by her sisters disappearance and inner turmoil, nor of the possibility that it was her who made her leave. She tilted her heads upwards to the sky, a murky blue. It was night, and with night came a little chill. It just helped her with the feeling, the feeling of adrenaline coursing through her veins. God was it actually such a good feeling.

    What she didn't prepare herself to see was her sister, her sister... Her sister! Bubblegum reeled back almost immediately as she ran upon the scene, her eyes growing wide. Ambrosia was bleeding out, crying, weak. Weak with the same emotions that Bubblegum had once felt. The look of fear changed into a look of hate. Why should I help you. Her ears flattened against a tabby skull, caramel brown eyes narrowing. Ambrosia hated her, she know she did. That's why they fought, that's why she nearly died.

    Then came the sadness, not even a minute after her moment of intense hate. Here Ambrosia was, bleeding out, and what did she do? She stood there, wallowing in her own self hatred. "Ambrosia, Ambrosia..." her voice came out in a crack as tears began to rush down her cheeks. She was back! She was really back, her sissy was back. "AMBROSIA!" she cried, now a sobbing mess as she rushed to her sisters side. "Ambrosia, Ambrosia please, get up. Ambrosia, I know you may hate me but please look-" she cut off as a sob wracked her body, shaking like a leaf in the wind. She attempted to grab her sisters head quite lightly and look her in the eyes. How much time did Ambrosia have left? WHAT IF SHE WAS DYING?! The thought made her heart beat much faster than it already was, her chest feeling like it was going to explode.

    She turned around, desperately searching the tree line for anybody, somebody who could help! Oh, I'm exactly as she said. She bit her lip, her breathing now ragged. No. Ambrosia is back and she's dying. I need to stop wallowing in my own misery. "MOM!" for the first time in forever she cried for her, she cried and cried and cried. "MOM I NEED YOUR HELP!" she screamed, repeating herself twice. She needed help! Somebody who had medical knowledge.

    She turned back to Ambrosia, trying to place her muzzle on her older sisters head, trying to somehow comfort her. "Ambrosia, s-stay with me kay'? You'll be okay, a-and we'll be happy, and- and..." she could barely talk with the thought of her sister dying. "Ambrosia, I love you so much... P-Please don't leave me!"

    // im gonna cry,,, ambrosia doesn't deserve this



    shadow veil // tags // five months // played by chuffera


    -----> Of all the people Ambi wanted to see - Bast, Helios, Nore, her half-siblings...Who better to be the first to greet her than Bubblegumkisses? She had wronged a lot of people when she left. But no one she wronged more than her adoptive sister. It was almost scary had fitting it was that her brown tabby sister come to her first. As if - god, she didn't want to think about it but as if the world knew...that this was it. This was...really the last chance she'd get to say her sorries.

    That...she was really going to die.

    No - god - please no.

    But tears fell nontheless, sorrow burning alongside the numbing ache of her numerous bites and cuts. She lifted her head as the blurry form of her sister ran over. Hearing her sibling's cries only made Ambi sob harder. Bubble sounded so worried, so sad...Ambi didn't deserve her sister's grief. Not after everything she'd done to her - everything she said to her.

    So of course the first thing that left Ambi's bloodied lips was; " B-bubble...Bubble, i'm so...i'm so sorry " She'd try to lift her head, to get up, but with a painful shake she soon fell back down. She wheezed and panted, an alarming whistle and gurgle in her throat suggesting something...something was very wrong with her lungs. The pain she felt added to that thought, and for a brief moment she blacked out.

    But she heard her sister's words, and god it hurt.

    " I don't...hate...I don't hate you...didn't mean...I didn't mean all...all that " she stuttered painfully, trying weakly to form her words. Feeling her sister's touch, she pressed against it. Her breath came fluttery, shallow. She wished she could have the strength to lift her arms and hug her sister. Press her nose into her shoulder and promise - swear - to never again mess up. Never. She loved her, she really did - she always had.

    " I" she whispered softly, closing her eyes, trying her hardest not to sleep. She refused to die. They ere going to be happy, she was certain of it. She'd recover and she'd tell Bubble everything she couldn't say now. Holding onto that hope, Ambi pressed a bloodied paw on her sister's, " more...leaving... " she promised.

    " SPEECH "


  • Continuing with her life after the loss of her daughter - continuing on with that anger, and grief, and shame, and confusion, and guilt, and worry, and terror, and love weighing ceaselessly upon her - it was a special kind of nightmarish. Lastbastion was surprised every day as she blinked open her eyes that she had managed to make it through from one day to the next. Not because of any special wish for her life to end - she had other children, of course, who she loved as much as she loved the one who had gone missing, she had her wife, she had her job and her Clanmates - she had plenty of things to live for.

    She was just surprised that the weight of her exhaustion had not taken its toll upon her body. She was drained, moreso than she could ever remember being - not even the losses of three successive beloved Veilers (Amour, Winter, and Soundcheck) had managed to suck the life from her so profoundly. She was carrying on with a monotony and a weariness familiar to anyone whose grief had made them into robotic copies of themselves. She had done it before, though never to this degree, and she would do it again. Because people depended on her. Because losing her daughter did not mean she got to give up on everyone and everything else.

    But it didn't mean she couldn't miss her, and couldn't worry for her, and couldn't be full of anger and fear and guilt and intense sorrow, and a love that triumphed over everything. And so she was, a boundless void of unhappiness which she was evidently incapable of departing. If only she had known it would get so much worse.

    Bubblegumkisses' screams was what brought her over - how could it not? The Shadowkeeper came running with every ounce of energy she had, heedless of her still-healing injuries, ignoring the terrain and the danger she posed to herself by careening so recklessly through dense woods, bounding and leaping and lunging over everything that dared cross her path with an urgency far surpassing anything she had before felt. Until finally, finally, finally, she got there, and she made it there just in time - just in time to see the last moments of her daughter's life, and to hear her burbling apologies to her sister, her renouncing of her hate and her affirmations of her love.

    And it was beautiful. It was all that Bast had ever hoped for.

    But not like this. Please, dear God, not like this.

    "Ambi." the Patriot's voice was resonant: it seemed to send ripples through the air with the intensity of the love that filled it. She collapsed at the black cat's side and attempted to cover Ambrosiapaw's face with kisses, light, gentle ones, ones of a tender affection so great and so pure they could've only been from a mother. She tried to wrap her long, palely striped forelegs around her daughter's body, knowing that the life was slipping from it, knowing that this was how it ended, and needing to say what she said next more than she needed the air she breathed. "Ambi, I have never stopped loving you. You could never run far enough to keep me from loving you. I am so sorry for lying to you, I am so sorry for where you come from - but I promise you, I promise you, I love you for who you are, no matter who that is. Because you are mine and I am yours, and I love you more than life itself. Always, always, always, always. Nothing you could ever do will change that."

    yes, i am willing to be that wild darkness —

    that long, blue body of light

  • Helios had moved on quickly since Ambi left. He had lost enough and he was sick of it. He was sick of moping around like a weak bitch. So he had forced the thought out of his mind. He had forced himself to be happy. He had gotten over Ambi's lack of presence within at least three days. She was important to him, but not at the top of the list. Selene was more important than her. Sure she was his only friend, but Selene was his sister. The one person who he actually loved. The one person he would admit to loving.

    So to see the dying body of the person he had gotten over so quickly was irksome, for lack of a better word. Just when he had thought he was better. Just when he thought he had gotten over it. She was back, and dying. Still, he kept a passive face as he stared down at her from beneath his eyelashes. It wasn't his place to welcome her back. They weren't related. Besides, she was already dead to him. He had told her those words as she was abandoning them and he would stand by them. Helios wasn't a man who forgave or forgot anything easily. No, he remembered and resented. And he fucking resented her.

    With shaking shoulders he stood a good distance away. The light had slowly been returning to his once happy-go-lucky, egotistical, outgoing, friendly yellow eyes, but now, they were as dim as they had been only a week ago. They were dull, empty, apathetic, void of emotion. It was all Ambi's fault. Snorting softly he kept silent, watching as her sister and mother spoke softly with her. At this point he was already desensitized to death and it was blatantly obvious she was on the verge of it. There was no hope for her mangled body as it bled profusely.

    Dropping his gaze down to his bandaged hands he didn't dare raise his head again. He didn't want to look at her. He never wanted to see her face again. Sorry, Ambi, I stick to my promises."

    [ TAGS ]


    -----> Her mother's soft words reached her ears. By this point, it was hard for her to see straight. Everything was muddled by black spots. All she could do was keep from sleeping. She was so tired, her body begged for it. But she refused. She had to stay alive. She WAS going to stay alive. She'd make her family whole again. Fix everything she'd done. Save herself.

    She had to.

    But her mother's lack of urgency was what broke the camel's back. There was no hiding it, no fighting it. She was going to die.

    Tears streamed down her bloodied face, her breath hitching at the thought. She...she didn't want to. She'd been about to come back when that rotten canine had captured her. She...she'd found what she needed - she'd found them. She didn't want to leave, not again.

    All she could forced her numb lips to mumble out was, " I kno..w...I " but there was more she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her mom how sorry she was for not listening. How She was all ambi needed - all she'd ever needed. She loved her too. She had. She'd just been confused.

    But forgiveness didn't always come so easily.

    Ambi could sense helios nearby, smell him through the blood and death. But he didn't come.

    It broke her heart, tore what little soul still clinging to life that she had. But she shouldn't be surprised. Out of all those she'd hurt, Helios had been the one who'd needed her at the time. She'd ripped HIM apart, and she'd done so out of her own selfishness. She wondered, suddenly, even if she wasn't dying...would she have even earned back...?

    Ambi was never one to be selfless though. As much as she understood his apathy and oath to never forgive her...She couldn't help but reach a heavy paw for him anyway. Too far away to reach him. Too far away even if she could touch him. She'd made that distance. Damn it she knew that. But she missed him. She had the moment she left. She wanted him back as much as she wanted to stay alive.

    She opened her mouth to say more, to apologize, explain herself, tell him how she felt...But her mouth refused to move. Her reaching paw had fallen without her asking it to. Her body failed.

    There were some sins you couldn't save your spirit from, even in your last moments.

    It wasn't Sterlingsilver that decided that darkness within her...

    But she wanted to live. She had so much more left to say. She had spent her long, lonely week longing not just for her family, but for Helios. To lose him lose him forever. Whether she deserved it or not - she missed him. She needed him. Her best friend, her only friend. She didn't want to die without fixing things. Without showing him that...that SHE could keep her promises.

    That she was truly sorry.

    to him, to everyone.

    She didn't want to go without them knowing.

    Without spending more time with them.

    Please, she wanted to live.

    She wanted one more chance.

    One more chance!


    Without much ceremony, Ambrosiapaw was gone.

    " SPEECH "


  • I know. I know.

    These were her daughter's last words to her: Lastbastion listened to them in silence, having already said the words she needed to say: and there was relief in knowing that Ambrosiapaw had been able to hear this message, for it had weighed on her heart every day, the words she had tried repeatedly to make her child believe. She had tried so hard, had desperately tried to make her believe how deeply, truly, and permanently she was loved. And last...Ambi knew. And in different circumstances there would have been joy in this, there would have been freedom and greater togetherness. But of course, this possibility was long made impossible - and the bitter reality of the present circumstances all too strong.

    Lastbastion held her daughter as the life left her body. She watched as the blood drained out of her, watched as the girl reached out a hand for the great friend she had lost. That paw, extended...that desperation, that longing...for Helios. For him. For the one who had renounced her so swiftly. That longing was the final act of her child's life, and this - this - perhaps hurt more than the loss itself. Not only had her daughter died...but the last moments of her life had been spent trying to love someone, trying to reconcile, trying to reach them, knowing the pain of their abandonment. She had died knowing that someone had abandoned her, that she longed for and loved someone who did not deign to draw near her in her time of dying.

    Her grief swept over her, drowned her, buried her in an unsurpassed intensity of feeling, and underwent a radical transformation with this knowledge. The black smoke gradually eased her way away from the pitch-dark corpse that seemed so small and so frail in death and spun around, facing Helios, feeling her grief change dramatically into a different emotion: anger. Anger for bringing yet more pain into her daughter's existence in the last seconds of her life on earth. Anger. The anger filled her, where grief would have drained her: it made use of the immediacy of her loss and turned it into something actionable. She could not bring her daughter back. She had lost her forever. It had been taken from her. She could do nothing about it except weep for the life she would never know.

    But she could do this.


    yes, i am willing to be that wild darkness —

    that long, blue body of light

  • ♥♥♥ Hearing Ambrosia speak make her laugh hysterically, obviously in a state of delusion. Bubblegum couldn't bear to see her sister like this, so all she did was hold her sister close to her, not even realizing her mother had already appeared and spoke.

    "You big dummy, d-don't apologize or you'll make me cry more." she laughed, shaking her head as she clutched her sisters head, holding her close and humming a small song to try to soothe her. "When y-ou're healed, we're gonna go out and get ice cream okay? Or candy, or something a-and we'll t-talk... We'll talk a-about what's happened t-to us." she rocked back and forth, her eyes slowly dimming. Ambrosia wasn't going to be fine but she refused. She refused to believe it. "No more leaving, no more r-running." she whispered, ears flattening as her body shook.

    As her sister went limp she didn't notice it. Ambrosia's head felt heavier, causing her to tilt her head. "Come o-on silly, you know im not as strong as you." she whispered, eyes slanting in slight fear. "Ambrosia get up." she meowed in fear, the shocking realization now coming over her. "Ambrosia. Ambrosia, Ambrosia!" with every utter of her sisters name it grew more urgent and more sharper. "Ambrosia." her body was just as limp as the body she drug out of the river and slammed against the ground. With the thought Bubblegum turned her head and hurled, the body in her mind now being replaced with Ambrosias. "Am... Ambrosia please w... wake up." she shook her sister, shaking her own head. "Ambrosia, no more running remember?" she was on the edge of hyperventilating for the second time in her life. "AMBROSIA!" she yelled, her voice cracking. She clutched her sister tight, a fresh wave of grief and sadness shook her and caused fresh tears to roll in. What was the point of her life without her sister? Her rock, her... "My everything."



    shadow veil // tags // five months // played by chuffera

  • His face remained blank as Bast approached him. His face remained blank as she began screaming at him. His breathing remained even as the words echoed within his ears. She was only speaking the truth. He was pathetic, his parents didn't love him, and all he had left was Grace and Selene. And to finally be reminded of those things, well, it fucking hurt. With a stony faced nod he turned around and walked away stiffly. Not even offering a glance back at them. She was right. She was always right. Why else would she be the Shadowkeeper?

    His bandaged legs carried him away silently. His shoulders stiff as a board as he drifted back into the shadows. Into the background where he deserved to be. An unimportant, useless tool only useful as a human shield. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve to be alive. He repeated the mantra again and again in his head as he took silent, short, loping steps away. You're scum. You don't deserve love, you don't deserve to be alive, you didn't deserve Ambi. Of course Bast knew best. Bast was the leader. Anyone could yell at him but it wouldn't matter unless it was Bast or Yuuki. They were the only people he would really listen to. They were the only people who he considered listening to orders from.

    He wondered though, as he walked away. Was he truly sad to see Ambi die? He didn't know anymore. He had already claimed her to be dead t him, but he hadn't expected her to actually die. He didn't really know what sadness was anymore. When was the last time he truly felt sympathy or pity, or real sadness? I think, Bast and I need to have a talk. He concluded with a firm nod to himself.


    [ TAGS ]

  • It was the yells of his sister that had peaked his interest, but it was the soon after yells of his mother that brought him running.

    Azazel's first thought as his eyes graced the scene was in reaction to the unadulterated rage he saw in Bast's eyes. That would be the first event that brought him to a halt that night. The scene quickly began feeling like a dream. The volume of Bast's voice, one that he had never heard used in such a way, paired quickly thereafter by the hysterics of Bubble. And all of it, all of the chaos and haze of the situation, it brought his gaze to a body. Limp. Sleeping, but not. And it was one he recognized.

    Azazel could not recall a moment in which he'd experienced death. The loss of Ambrosiapaw, simply from her disappearance, had brought the heaviest fog among the group, unable to be lifted for longer than a few bright moments. But this, a real loss, a... forever loss. The fog would only get heavier from here. Not only would it come with grieving, but something more foreign to the child. The idea of that 'forever loss'. The idea of death. It was so thick in the air it was almost tangible. The feeling felt like it was choking him. Ambi was gone, long before he'd had the chance to get to know her, to call her sister, play stupid sibling games that might end up in petty arguments. She was gone.

    She couldn't be gone.

    This was the second observation that brought him to a halt.

    With a choked gasp at the site of the lifeless Ambrosia in the arms of his enraged mother, he shut his eyes. The youth's mind tried willing him to open them again, to leave the scene if it bothered him so, but he couldn't. His paws were being held down to the ground by the force of the moment, and his eyes glued shut in compensation, a meek attempt to hide him from the reality of the scene. — "Speech"

  • he knew of losses when the season shifted. when the flowers wilted, but new ones would grow. he mourned with a mother doe who had lost her fawn, and he wept when the a star had lost its shimmer. yet...this lost was different. because ambrosiapaw would not regrow. she would not twinkle, or shine upon him. a strange feeling flooded him as he had came upon the small body of his friend.

    and he cried. tears bubbling like lava as they fell from his mismatched lenses, and a rock was lodged in his throat. but he did not cry for his sadness. he cried because helios could not. he wept because helios lost the sense to weep. he sobbed for azazel, for bubblegumkisses and lastbasion. his heart twisted uncomfortably as he had spoke a simple goodbye. one he spoke often. to each and every flower gone, to the fawn buried under her favorite willow. to the star that collapsed. to ambrosiapaw, who left him. "my heart joins the stars, for my friend stopped loving today." a voice filled with a sorrow unknown, a sorrow gods carried in their voice after they watched their entire family perish. his tears dropped upon the shadowed figure of his tiny friend, and a sob broke his vocal cords as he whispered apologies.



    ( not until you know what they did to survive )

    ( ✧ ) ——— ( ✧ ) ——— ( ✧ ) ——— ( ✧ )


    faustine ★ shadow veil ★ kit ★ female

    It was impossible to ignore the influx of wailing, the nebula of grief that impregnated the forest. For Faustine, the familiar outcries of her mother would only fuel the fire that burned within. Something abominable was happening. Could it be... Ambrosiapaw! Her feet possessed a consciousness of their own when they swept her away with the force of a riptide. The brambles that sheared her flanks and the flesh of her ears would heed no response. There wasn't time for her to fathom the fleeting pain, for a pain of immeasurable depth would soon overwhelm her. A formidable numbness drowned the array of emotions that fought in her head. Her scabbed feet ceased their directionless running in the midst of a clearing that housed Lastbastion, her siblings, and other clanmates.

    A void of desolation thickened in the atmosphere, and Faustine wondered why she wasn't suffocating altogether. The sentiments of fear now occupied every fiber of her being when the lifeless form of Ambrosiapaw now manifested in her view. She was too late. She had failed one of her only companions in the final stages of her diminished life. "I-I think you would've liked my collection..." Her words barely sputtered out in a feeble whisper. "I had so-ome bones s-saved for you, ya know, the pretty kind." She didn't even have the dignity to say goodbye to her momentary friend when she left Shadow Veil for a future of uncertainty. How pathetic. Faustine collapsed breathlessly onto her haunches, her spindly physique quivering as the haunting realization set in. She had only befriended Ambrosiapaw for what felt like a vanishing period of time, and yet she offered her a kindness unbeknownst to any of her closest relatives. Somehow, she was no longer a friend, or even a half-sibling to Faustine. She was her sister.

    description "speech" thoughts



        close your eyes, so afraid

        hide behind that baby face —