Well, if anyone didn't know I based some of my characters off of my own social anxiety experiences (like the feeling of it). It's not too extreme, like when I'm at home I'm pretty confident- even roughly joking around with my sister and calling names towards each other in a playful way. Also taking risks at the woods and the creek just to have fun. I'm really protective over my sisters and will immediately throw my fears in the trash if someone physically or mentally hurt them.
But when I'm away from home or open in public places it's different. I always struggle to approach workers in the store when I can't find something, and when strangers approach me I get uneasy. Sometimes to the point where I'm shaking and/or stuttering, buying things and approaching checkout is even hard. Just a week ago my younger sister wanted to take a picture with this fake Santa clause that she knew was false, she wanted to make memories while we're still a bit young. I didn't like the idea at first, repeatedly saying no every time she tried to coax me. But I thought about it, seeing my photography mentor was surprisingly there and helping take photos made me want to say hello. My sister could tell and finally coaxed me to say yes, I was shaking more than I ever had. And I didn't feel great after.
I also woke up from a dream just a few hours ago from everyone hating me, my mother emotionally abusing me in the dream- and she is the most kind hearted woman irl. I was crying when I woke up, had to take a bath to calm me down. I was so embarrassed and confused myself, but I just couldn't calm down until I bathed. I'm debating whether or not to get a therapist.. but I don't think it's too extreme enough?? I'm thinking it's from being abandoned by so many friends and/or lack of socialization? But I need help, some tips maybe? Reassurance?