LET'S GO TO WAR// O

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    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — It was a quiet night for BlizzardClan. Most of the members were sleeping in camp enjoying the warmth of their homes. For Ella though that wasn't quite the case.


    The flower crowned feline sat at the relatively famous Shimmering Lake, a small frown on her maw. Grief and sorrow filled her green hues as she looked into the water. Honestly, though her mood had been a little better recently, the nightmares still haunted her. It seemed like no matter what she did she couldn't shake them off. They were like the shadows, always following her every movement. With everything that had happened in the past few moons she shouldn't be surprised.


    Upon her first return to the clan she had been found a bloody mess. She had been lucky that some of her friends had found her and brought her back to health. Even with this though the memories of what happened before she came home still lingered in her mind. The memories of the torture she endured. The memory of her mother dying in front of her from her poison. It was practically engraved into her mind. During the day she could distract herself and try to keep around people, but at night she was left to remember. To remember her greatest sin.


    Things didn't really get better from there. She ended up realizing she had a crush on the previous deputy, Rosemont, shortly after her return. She was forced to watch as he fell for other people without even realizing that she was right there. When she finally began moving on with her ex-boyfriend, Lox, she felt better. Sadly, after a week of dating he left without a trace. Honestly, after that she was beginning to believe that she just wasn't worth loving. After all, her family never loved her either. After that she slowly fell into a hole of depression. She hardly left her cottage, and didn't tend to her garden. She quickly lost who she was in the midst of all the terrible things the world gave her.


    Now there she was, thinking on everything. As she looked into the water she took note of how similar she looked to her mother. If she had been larger and appeared colder she would look exactly like her. Though they looked the same they used to be opposites. While her mother was icy and cruel, she was bright and optimistic. Now she wasn't sure how different they were. After all, they both were killers. They both killed their own family.


    Tears began to swell in her eyes as all the emotions she tried to hide began crashing onto her. All the misery, all the self-hatred, and everything in-between began flooding into her body. She felt terrible about what she had done. She felt so terrible about it that she wasn't able to tell anyone until she told Rosemont. It had been slowly eating her away inside until she got to this point.


    The femme sat there, her entire body shaking, as she began crying her heart out.

    Narukami would kill his brother if he could. Did that make him a monster? Irrelevant. After Taema's death, caused by a matter of disapproval and opinion, it was difficult to find merit in other people's perspectives. Certain matters -those of etiquette- restrained him still, but if there were those would frown upon his desire to see his brother dead, they did not understand, nor did he want them to. Nor did he need them to understand. He would kill Touma because he would lead the remnants of their clan astray; he would kill him because he meddled in Narukami's affairs and bound him to this body; and he would kill him because Touma would not hesitate to do the same when the fancy struck him. Neither Narukami or Touma would regret it, would they? They had always been antagonistic with each other.


    But such was Narukami's nature. Perhaps this hybridized form was merely a reflection of who he was: some sort of monstrous being at war between control and instinct. If he were of a gentler personality, if he were kinder, he might struggle more with the desire to murder his brother.


    He was not gentler or kinder. With Niko, he did his best to be a role model she could depend on, but his shadows lingered. With Rosemont, he had attempted to be understanding, to care without holding too tight, but he was possessive and envious. He was hardly a good man, and because of this, he knew he would not label Ella -or many of the others here- as terrible people. As monsters.


    It did not mean he was prepared to deal with any of them in tears, or that his recognition of their good qualities somehow made him better. Narukami was the very last person to depend on in this situation, when any attempts to comfort would undoubtedly be unwieldy and awkward. "Would you like some tea made?"

    —TAGS