TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — It was a quiet night for BlizzardClan. Most of the members were sleeping in camp enjoying the warmth of their homes. For Ella though that wasn't quite the case.
The flower crowned feline sat at the relatively famous Shimmering Lake, a small frown on her maw. Grief and sorrow filled her green hues as she looked into the water. Honestly, though her mood had been a little better recently, the nightmares still haunted her. It seemed like no matter what she did she couldn't shake them off. They were like the shadows, always following her every movement. With everything that had happened in the past few moons she shouldn't be surprised.
Upon her first return to the clan she had been found a bloody mess. She had been lucky that some of her friends had found her and brought her back to health. Even with this though the memories of what happened before she came home still lingered in her mind. The memories of the torture she endured. The memory of her mother dying in front of her from her poison. It was practically engraved into her mind. During the day she could distract herself and try to keep around people, but at night she was left to remember. To remember her greatest sin.
Things didn't really get better from there. She ended up realizing she had a crush on the previous deputy, Rosemont, shortly after her return. She was forced to watch as he fell for other people without even realizing that she was right there. When she finally began moving on with her ex-boyfriend, Lox, she felt better. Sadly, after a week of dating he left without a trace. Honestly, after that she was beginning to believe that she just wasn't worth loving. After all, her family never loved her either. After that she slowly fell into a hole of depression. She hardly left her cottage, and didn't tend to her garden. She quickly lost who she was in the midst of all the terrible things the world gave her.
Now there she was, thinking on everything. As she looked into the water she took note of how similar she looked to her mother. If she had been larger and appeared colder she would look exactly like her. Though they looked the same they used to be opposites. While her mother was icy and cruel, she was bright and optimistic. Now she wasn't sure how different they were. After all, they both were killers. They both killed their own family.
Tears began to swell in her eyes as all the emotions she tried to hide began crashing onto her. All the misery, all the self-hatred, and everything in-between began flooding into her body. She felt terrible about what she had done. She felt so terrible about it that she wasn't able to tell anyone until she told Rosemont. It had been slowly eating her away inside until she got to this point.
The femme sat there, her entire body shaking, as she began crying her heart out.