TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — Honestly, a lot of things had been weighing the small feline down. It had gotten to the point that she hadn't left her cottage for a while. Some of the NPCs were actually concerned for her well being since she usually at least tried to be out and about. Her outside garden was actually withering due to her neglect. To think that at one point she was the light in BlizzardClan. Funny how time could change a person.
Ella let out a soft sigh as she laid on her moss bed. She should have known better then to hope. She should have known better then to trust others. Now she had become a hollow shell of who she was when she first joined. At this point she wondered if she was even worth anything to anyone. After all, she was just someone that tended to appear and then disappear at a rapid rate.
Her ears pinned to her head as she thought about everything she had avoided before. The feeling of extreme anxiety and depression she had tried to ignore for so long. At some point she knew it would overwhelm her. She just wished there was something she could have done to keep her heart safe.
After learning that her old boyfriend, Lox, was nowhere to be found she had already started sinking. She had hoped that maybe she had found happiness with him, but obviously she was foolish. Now she was stuck dealing with her unrequited feelings for Rosemont on her own.
It still was hard to deal with the fact that he was now with Narukami. Part of her understood since she had always been inconsistent, but there was that small part of her. The part that was selfish and wished he reciprocated the feelings she had. She knew it would never happen and she wouldn't bother hoping either. Not again.
Laying in her cottage, the feline did her best to deal with her raging emotions and thoughts.
ARCANESECRET
☆ blizzardclan resident | bio ☆
ah, the feelings of sadness and hopelessness were like the sun; it was always a constant in life. arcane had felt that way too, in his former, faraway life in riverclan, he had fallen into a depression as well. several mental breakdowns and anxious thoughts what was he endured.
though, now he was steelier, and though it seemed that nothing had changed from the last time anyone had seen him prior to blizzardclan, he could control his emotions much more than in his youth. yes, it was hard to deal with trauma, loss, and grief... if only there were a cure for sadness.
today, arcane was pacing around the camp. he hadn't gotten to know anybody quite yet, and that was because he was, at heart, a shy person. as he padded around, his merle fur shining in the light, he noticed a particular cottage. nothing stood out, except for the fact that wilted flowers and plants sprouted like grass adjacent to the home.
then he noticed that there seemed to be somebody in the home. perhaps i should go and introduce myself. can't really be a hermit if you're part of a clan, he humored to himself.
he opened the door with one paw, hearing it creak like some sort of crow's birdsong. immediately, he spotted a russian blue, who was an adult, yet younger than him. she seemed to be...thinking about something intensely, and her pelt was a dullish grey. his doctoral and paternal instincts kicked in, and urged him with haste to talk to her.
"sorry if i'm intruding here, but...are you alright, miss?" he stated, then suddenly a question rose in his mind, as sudden as a falling stone that hits your head. what if blizzardclanners didn't like when you just waltzed into their home? he knew riverclanners didn't mind, as they used to treat their neighbors' dens like second homes, but he didn't know if blizzardclanners had the same notion. you idiot.
IM JUST A FULL TANK AWAY FROM FREEDOM —
Love... Leifsdottir had never experienced the romantic kind of love that upset Ella so much. At a time, the Paladin might've said she had, but she was naive. In retrospect, she knew now that what she had with him wasn't love. She was in love, but she never loved him. The fluttering butterflies in her stomach, the tingling apprehension as they went on dates, the giddiness of gift-giving - none of that meant love, she realized. She never loved him, and he never loved her. Then why? Why had they spent so long together? Why had he kept her in his clutch for so long if he didn't love her? Why?
'Are you alright, miss?'
It was actually Arcane's words that drawn her to Ella's hut. She wasn't usually one to mingle with others, though it was her duty as a Paladin of Blizzardclan to ensure the wellbeing of her Clanmates, and as such, she found herself walking over with a neutral expression, focusing her bloodshot optics on the figure in front. Ella. Admittedly, she had really seen her around and presumed her to be missing like so many had done before her, but was nonetheless glad to still have her here. Where had she gone, Leif wondered.
"I'm glad you have returned." Is all the light ginger tabby would say, remaining in a relaxed stance as she stood next to Arcane.