chance that you may live | o, return

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    — It had been four days since Lambstar's cracked paws had brushed against the sweet grasses of Thunderclan territory. The alabaster molly couldn't hold her raging emotions anymore, her paws carrying her down the worn path of where she had been dragged into the depths of the city, feet drumming against concrete and then soft grass. The scents of her clan came flooding back to her, her heart pulling uncomfortably as if it was trying to meet with the treetops up above her head. Tears were already pooling in hazel eyes, streaming down tear-stained cheeks and pattering against the ground as the molly passed the border, smelling of city, tar and rat as she slowed to a slow run, uncomfortable pangs in her abdomen screaming at her to slow down.


    She just wanted to get home. Lambstar held back sobs of relief as she nearly came crashing through the Thunderclan camp entrance, her pearly white coat stained disgusting shades of pink and brown, caked in grime and rat guts as her shaking legs finally gave out from under her. Slumping into a shivering pile of curls, the leader couldn't help but finally let out the cries that she had been holding back, the tears and emotions flooding over her as she ducked her head in shame.


    How many lives had been lost in the raid? She didn't have time to catch any fleeting words as she had run from Bloodclan as soon as she had the chance. The raid was her fault, all of this was her fault. Where was Slatepaw? Asphodelpaw, Moonwatcher? Fidgetpaw, Scorpionpaw, Blackstorm? Where was everyone? Were they all dead? Her heart sunk into her paws as more tears streamed down her face, entire body quaking as she desperately sunk her claws into the dirt as she tried to keep herself from falling apart.


    slatewing ; D

       

    OOC:

    IC: Hollow had heard the poor young leader coming from halfway across the forest. Smelled her too, unfortunately. Rather, he'd smelled city stink, and had half expected to somehow defend the kits (whom he most certainly didn't feel anything for, nope) as one of the few adults left in the blasted forest cats' camp during the war. But no; as Lamb crashed into the camp and began to sob, he relaxed the tension he most certainly hadn't had and stiffly stepped out into the clearing. Asphodelpaw's nagging about his wounds be d*mned.

    Much as he was most certainly not a pushover, nope, he couldn't help the sympathetic squeeze in his chest at the curly alabaster coat, thinned and stained with city muck that didn't belong there, reeking with the scents of the insane cats at the city's core. Of course it couldn't even have been decent city folk like himself, or a Twoleg rescuing her from a dilapidated house. No, he could only imagine the things she must have seen, let alone been threatened with. Before he could glance around to make sure no one saw him look anything but hardened, his paws were taking him over to carefully lay beside the battered young queen, and his tongue was gently trying to wash the city gunk away with both touch and words. Really they'd need moss for city gunk, but it was better than nothing, and Lambstar looked like she could use some decent folk.

    "There, now, missie, easy there..."

    The sweet and gentle name rushes through and I’m done and tired and sorry and my next post will be better maybe. “Lambstar! You okay?” The lilac feline hadn’t gotten too beat up in the raid.

           

    ♔





    ASPHODELPAW ;;


    -----> Asphodelpaw had honestly expected some kind of ceremony when Lamb was returned. Maybe Bloodclanners comming in a pair, throwing the girl to the floor before leaving. ceremoniously unceremonious. Instead, she just feel right into camp, not push needed.

    It was rather pathetic.

    Asphodelpaw would rush forwards anyway though, icy hues alight, "Lambstar!" he'd gasp, coming to her side. quickly, he'd trace his gaze over her person, searching for any sign of wounds. When he saw nothing evident, he crouched down beside her and gently tried to nudge her to her feet, "your home, your safe," he murmured softly, his gaze piercing, "but you need to come to the medicine den - Charming, Hollow, help me carry her"



    (c)trexgirl

    — The first voice that reached Lamb's ears was the gruff but comforting one of Hollow, the elder hobbling out of one of the dens and quickly meeting the leader halfway. The curly-furred molly couldn't get anything out that even sounded like words, her maw moving but the only thing coming out was more sobs. "I'm...s-sorry." Those two words were understandable, a miserable apology for all that she had caused for her clanmates. All the pain , all the suffering and the worry. Guilt was already eating her alive as she leaned into Hollow, the young molly burying her face in his shoulder to shield herself from the looks of her clanmates.


    She couldn't look at the ones that she had caused so much pain to.


    Aspodelpaw's words caused her to jump, the leader tensing as she expected a berating from the bitter medicine cat, hazel eyes glancing up hesitantly, watery and afraid as her gaze locked on the worried face of the tabby tom. Charmingpaw had come up alongside her, the apprentice asking if she was okay. No, she wasn't. She carried the guilt and pain of knowing she had caused the raid and made the cats that looked up to her suffer and broil in anguish while she was stuck in Bloodclan territory. She wasn't okay, she wasn't okay in the slightest.


    "No, n-no. I'm fine, I...I don't want to g-go to the medicine d-den." The smell of the herbs would surely make her break down even more, the herbal smell would surely make her wretch. Her mind was buzzing as she crawled to her paws, legs shaking and barely able to support her weight. "Where's S-Slatepaw? Where i-is she?" She had to see her girlfriend; if Slatepaw was dead...there was no reason to even be here.

       

    ASPHODELPAW ;;


    -----> //WARNING FOR LANGUAGE


    "You think you get a choice!?" Asphodelpaw suddenly erupted. Dear starclan! What was wrong with her? No - no, screw it, this wasn't something he was going to keep to himself. "Dear starclan what is WRONG with you?" he snapped, furious. The past few hours of watching everyone getting hurt in his stead - of standing back while his friends were very nearly massacred before him in an unjust war where his honorable clan was manipulated into being in the same level as the murderous hethens he'd grown up hated all his life - to not having any single one way to stop it all because if they so much as back tackled they'd all lose their leader and her unborn freakin cHILDREN!?

    He was angry. He was helpless. He was dying inside.

    And no fucking way was he going to let Lambstar think she was the only one suffering here!


    "It doesn't matter what you want - your getting yourself checked up on and treated. I don't give a rat's ass if it makes you sad or morning sick - your traumatized and possibly malnurished, dehydrated and injured. For starclan's BLOODY SAKE you are the leader of this damn clan and right now we kinda need you to be strong.If you haven't noticed? We're falling apart! and i don't CARE if it's your fault or not - your going to suck it up, raise your head high and FAKE IT! Your going to pretend your proud of your clan-mates for defending you. Your going to pretend that you'll be healed up and ready to go in an MILLISECOND! But most of all, your going to stop wallowing in your stupid self pity because it's not getting you anywhere!"

    Leaning in close, he said, "you fucked up real bad Lambstar. REAL bad. But you fucked up for all the right reasons." his icy gaze softened, "we know you just wanted to help, alright? Now it's your turn let us help. So please,

    Let me help you"



    (c)trexgirl

    — Here came the bitter shouts of Asphodelpaw, his words digging into Lambstar's shattering ego as she simply kept her mouth shut, the fight all but drained out of her. Wincing as the medicine cat's voice rose in pitch and volume, Lambstar couldn't help but let out another dying whimper, her entire body shaking. Asphodelpaw was right, when wasn't he right? He might be bitter and angry all the time, but he knew what was best for Thunderclan, probably more than Lambstar did most of the time. She wanted to protest, to tell him that she didn't need to do anything, that she was leader and she wouldn't tolerate him yowling at the top of his lungs at her.


    This wasn't the time for any of that. Lambstar had been a naive dumbass to think that she, by herself, could talk a reasoning behind the murders of her clanmates out of Sheogorath. Bloodclan was not one to barter with and she should've known that, she should've known. It was all in the past, but the clan was still suffering and Lambstar needed to make it up to them before they got fed up with her and booted her to the curb.


    "I was stupid, alright? I...I thought I c-could help and get a reason, I was wrong...just m-make me better." Her voice was thin, weak, as she spoke in response to Asphodel's harsh words. She needed this, she needed to learn her lesson and to make sure that something like this would never threaten Thunderclan again. Lambstar would not make such a disastrous decision by herself again.

       






    tom— former TC — untitled healer

    "Lambstar?" groaned a voice. A traitor. Humiliated he failed at bringing peace. Humiliated he killed his sister. His only sister. She was beautiful too... Self proclaimed Firefly and rouge healer, he was injured badly. He was instructed to lie down from himself onto his dressed wounds to keep pressure on it to keep the bleeding away. He learned this from being in BloodClan. So many scars littered his body. Each telling a tale of either bravery it stupidity. He desperately regretted his mistakes. He regrets all but none at the same time. Leaving was a mistake but it made him grow as a cat. Joining BloodClan was a mistake but it hardened him and made him learn mercy can't always be given. Trying to stop the fight was a mistake but he saved a few bodies from being diseased by wounds... Remorse...


    - tags - - heartchart - - family tree -

    OOC:

    IC: Hollow watched the exchange with an odd mix of concern and deference that he would never admit. He felt bad for the curly molly, but he soon found (read: remembered) from Asphodelpaw's words that it wasn't his business. This was clan drama, and wasn't he just feeling tired of that a day ago? Bah, whatever, Lambstar had just spent four days with the most insane cats from here to the big water, and she was pregnant. He'd be just as insane if he coudln't feel for all these young leaders. Stiffly he rose to his paws again and shifted his weight carefully to press his pelt to Lambstar's, so that the young molly could lean on him if she needed.

    "Awright, that's enough now. Let's let her get home first. Asphodelpaw," Hollow started, gesturing back at the medicine den with his tail. It was the first time he'd actually called the medicine cat his proper name and not 'asphodel-kid' or simply 'kid'. "Go find a plant that's long and leafy like a fern but smaller and rounded. Smells kinda leafy. We oughta prioritizie gettin' her strength back and gettin' this gunk off her fur. City folk ain't exactly the cleanest, the cats or the rats." (psst he's talking about burnet for strength)

    YY4djYg.gif Lambstar. The apprentice watches from afar since their was nothing she could do up close. She wasn't close with the leader and she was just the kid of the guy who broke her daddys heart. Complicated. So, she watches with worried green eyes from a distant. Sunpaw then got to her paws and went to go get *Petalwhisker* since they probably wanted to see their kid. "" .

    thunderclan ☀ apprentice ☀ 11 moons ☀ girl ☀ hopeclaw x frecklepaw ☀ tags

    i got scrapes on my heart from all the battles

    it's written in the scars — tags

    Blizzard watched from the side. He was angry all this happened, that he wasn't allowed to join the fight either. But orders were orders, even from his elder brother. "Lambstar, as mousebrained as it was for you to leave like that and put so many in danger, that just proves how unfit you are as leader. Even if it did show how much you care. Though a little too selfish and foolhardy." Blizzard snarled. The silver charcoal's tone was challenging, accusing. Had his brother returned? Not yet, that got the normally emotionless feline to react. And it was none too friendly.


    "Return home battered and weak." He scoffed as he padded over, dropping the lamb's ear he had taken when the raid had left earlier that day. He threw the small green's at her white paws. "Better eat that if you want to be strong. This was all that kept my brother and I alive when we traveled. Pretty sure you know it. Lambtuft." Angry and tail lashing behind him in agitation, he padded back towards the nursery to search for his daughter and check if she was alright.

    //ic opinions love.

    "let me live."

    WE ARE HUNGRY FOR THE ADRENALINE && thunderclan warrior & tags

    Hailcloud would push his way forwards, placing his tail on lambstars side gently, in a comforting way. Even he - as dense as he sometimes was - knew now wasn't time for blame or judgement or even knocking sense into his clanmates. "Lambstar, why don't you just focus on staying calm and breathing. Slate will find her way here soon - but do you honestly think she'd want you to remain in pain and injured.." He'd carefully attempt to begin grooming the curly-furred she-cat - attempting to get the gunk out of her pelt, as well as find any wounds that were less obvious and needed to be treated. His time as a loner with his siblings had taught him that wounds weren't always obvious - and the number of times he'd ended up with an infected scratch had taught him to er on the side of caution.


    //first post back + lots of things to read, so i'm sorry if i missed anything in the posts/thread but should have gotten this correct?

    「 feeling estranged in reality — the doctor asks me if i've {censored} 」


    Looking up at the mild chaos that was Lambstar returning to camp, Snow felt her chest tighten at the sight of the young leader. Rushing forward, Snow fret over the curly she-cat, asking after her state of being and moving to press against one side of her. Their white fur blended together, Lambstar's curly fur tangling slightly with Snow's smooth fur. "We're so glad you're back, Lambstar. We were so worried about you."


    "i answered without any hesitation that i have."

    speaking thoughts


    TAGS


    Fidgetpaw watched on curiously, and rather surprised that BloodClan stayed true to their word. Lambtuft was back, it seemed. Though, she was different from before. She was rather fragile at the given moment due to having just returned from BloodClan, but she seemed otherwise unharmed. He hadn't conversed with the leader much, but he wasn't sure what his opinion was on her being a leader. StarClan had chosen her at a time when there was hardly any leadership in the clan, from what he could tell. Fidgetpaw had joined right around that time, and hardly knew the full story. The sniveling leader came crawling into camp, asking Asphodelpaw of all cats to "make her better". Make her better as in healthy, or make her better as in make her a better leader? He would be mighty concerned about the future of the leader's reign if she was consulting a temperamental kid on how to be a better leader. She had good intentions, but poorly executed them. It seemed as though she took her council for granted and didn't seek the advice of either Blackstorm nor Asphodelpaw. It was... an interesting situation, to say the least. Several lives were put on the line because of her decisions and several lives were harmed as well. How many lives were nine of Lambstar's worth? Could anybody ever really answer that question?

    Wasn't that what they were all thinking, though? Most of them, at least. Fidgetpaw didn't harbor any loathing or resentment towards the leader- in fact, he felt increasingly neutral towards the situation despite its severity. The kid made plenty of mistakes in his life; he especially was not one to pass judgements towards the overly-benevolent leader. His yellowish gaze shifted towards Firefly, who was an interesting little conundrum. After all, to leave the clan for BloodClan of all places after not being selected as medicine cat seemed like it would only prove the decision to be a correct one. Then, the tom realizes- surprise, BloodClan is barbaric and cruel. Battle is awful. Innocents get hurt for crimes they haven't committed and lives are effected because on the behalf of others' decisions. Now Firefly was back, how were they to trust him? If they wouldn't take him back, where would he go? Not BloodClan, not ThunderClan, certainly not RiverClan, so that left only three other clans. If they had decided against it, he would be an exile for the rest of his life. Without a home. Rummaging through garbage cans and eating rotted food. Fidgetpaw didn't despise Firefly either, though.

    A flawed and foolish young leader, a traitor, and a gang of unorganized ruffians stating their opinions ever so loudly. Fidgetpaw watched on from a distance, saying no words. His perspective was incredibly small, and his contribution would surely be worthless.


    Nightkit had been watching from the Nursery. The NPC that was in charge of her had her tail curled around Nightkit protectively. But she couldn't hold the black kitten back when she spotted Blizzard and the 7 moon old squirmed away and bounded for her father, "Papa!" She moved to bury her face in Blizzards chest fur and purred loudly. She carefully weaved herself between Blizzards front legs ans watched as the clan coddled Lambstar. Nightkit looked up at her father and meowed only loud enough for him to hear, "Why does she smell so different?"

    i got scrapes on my heart from all the battles

    it's written in the scars — tags

    Pulling his kit closer to him, he gave the newly returned leader a sigh before responding to his daughter’s query. “She is the true leader of our clan Nightkit. Made a foolish mistake that cost so much, but- thank Starclan- returned alright.” Blizzard was actually seething within. The situation was disastrous, but nothing much can be done about it. Lambstar was forced to learn the way of life the hardest way possible, suffering the consequences of being a fool. “BloodClan had taken her. That’s why you must be careful kit. It isn’t easy.”


    "let me live."


    Slatewing





    // retro to warrior ceremony 👀sorry i’m so heckin late


    Slatepaw’s legs trembled, muscles strained and sore, though she pushed for them to move.

    She’d been looking for Blackstorm who had not arrived back at camp with the others. His presence was missed by few, because of the shock, and that it had only been a while since the raid ended, but anxiety gnawed at Slatepaw’s insides like snakes. Coiling and constricting with every passing minute.


    But she’d returned to camp. To see if he’d perhaps come home. This would be the third time she checked, but the female had to keep going. Make sure everyone got home on one piece. She had to try to hold some of ThunderClan together while Lambstar was gone.


    The molly shivered. She just wanted her girlfriend home. She should be able to, now that that damn raid was over. BloodClan got their filthy demands fulfilled. They better have upheld their end of the deal. Or she’d...she’d do something drastic and probably get herself killed trying to save Lambstar.


    Slatepaw exhaled quietly, and slipped into camp, again. A thorn near the entrance snagged one of the open wounds on her side, but that hardly mattered now. The pain has dulled, so that her whole body felt like lead. Heavy.


    “Is he back yet?” she mewed hoarsely, her throat dry from calling out the deputy’s name. “Is-“


    Her throat clenched, and the molly froze up, when her eyes fell on the medicine den.


    It was crowded. Of course. It had been since the raid ended. And of course she disliked Asp, but she didn’t like the idea of him working his ass of to tend to everyone by himself. It was a lot, for just one guy. Slatepaw had held off, going in. There were others with worse wounds.


    But something was off. Slatepaw walked closer, craning her neck to try to get a look at what everyone was crowding around.


    Just a patient. Then why was everyone-


    Oh.

    Slatepaw’s stomach lurched, and her breath hitched.


    Oh.

    A frail figure, skinny and shivering, painted in grotesque shades of pink, sat in the middle, curled up near everyone.


    Slatepaw’s jaw clenched, and her paws curled, heart hammering.

    Oh god.

    “L-Lambstar” the name slipped past her maw without her realizing it, and her fur was hot with shock.


    Oh she was home...!


    But Slatepaw’s shock and euphoria suddenly boiled over with sadness and anger. And she should have rushed forward to embrace Lambstar tightly, but she stood in place, body rigid.

    “Why did you leave?” Slatepaw mewed quietly, voice breaking.









    (c)trexgirl



    「 feeling estranged in reality — the doctor asks me if i've {censored} 」


    Looking up at her daughter's demand, Snow tried to defuse the situation before it became volatile. Lambstar was trembling against the queen's side and very clearly needed to rest, and as much as she wanted to let Slatepaw reunite with her girlfriend, Snow knew that now was not the best time. Not when emotions were running high and tensions were still fading from the battle. "Slatepaw, please. Why don't we get Lambstar settled down somewhere before we have this conversation, okay?"


    "i answered without any hesitation that i have."

    speaking thoughts


    TAGS


    This is the last warning. Stop with the human curse words. This isn't a debate, a question, or otherwise optional.


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