AND I BECAME A THERAPIST //P+Rosemont

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    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — Everything was quiet in the camp for the most part. The general sounds of the night still played in the background, but no one was really up at that time of night. The only disturbance was at the edge of the camp where a certain feline slept.


    Ella muttered quietly in her sleep as she laid on the moss bed. Her body twitched some, but otherwise she looked quite peaceful. To most they would have thought she was simply talking in her sleep. Well, at the current moment that was what people would have thought. Deep inside of mind though things were beginning to take a dark turn.


    Ella's eyes scanned the area as she stood in a small clearing. Though she hadn't gone to that spot in a long time she knew where she was. It was the place she had grown up as a child. The place she was first told she would amount to nothing without her family.


    Looking around still, the feline caught the metallic scent in the breeze. The scent of blood. She quickly turned her head and horror spread across her features. There they were, each person thrown on top of each other. Her father and two siblings. The drunk and two spoiled children. All of them were bloodied and had many wounds on their bodies. It almost made the flower crowned feline hurl.


    "There you are," someone said behind her causing her to turn around. There stood her mother with the same deranged look as the last time she saw her. The look of pure evil. Frozen in her place, she could only watch as the older feline began to circle her. "Look at how beautiful you have become. You look so much like me at your age," she continued grinning from ear to ear. Ella's body trembled a bit in fear as the other stopped in front of her and put her paw to her face. "Such a shame that I have to ruin it," she said before slashing her claws across her cheek. She let out a whimper as she finally backed away from her. Her green hues met her mother's as she smirked much like the devil.


    Soon enough her mother began to inflict wounds one after another. None were deep enough to kill her. No, it was clear she wanted her alive. She just also wanted to inflict suffering onto the poor female.


    "Mother, please..." she pleaded and whimpered as her mother tackled her to the ground. "Shut it! You should have came home! This is what you get!" She hissed as she put her face close to her daughter's. Then she raised her paw up with her claws unsheathed.


    "STOP!" she exclaimed as she woke up and stood from her spot. Tears filled her eyes as she stayed still breathing heavily and her heart pounding in her chest. Her entire body began shaking as the adrenaline began to slowly wear off. It was a dream.


    Collapsing to the ground, the tears streamed down her cheeks as she recalled the days she was gone. Memories of every blow, every poison, and her mother's end crashed down on her. Everything she pushed aside came back as it always did at night. This time she didn't have Clarice to calm her down. She had to suffer on her own.


    Ella put her paws over her ears as she began sobbing. If only she had gone home.


    // Rosemont. Here ya go. Sorry for it being so long, I suddenly had muse lol

    ☆ ― Nightmares were not common for him. He had them occasionally, but they were never terrifying to the point where he woke up sobbing or in immediate fear. Whenever he slept, they were usually dreamless, or they were warped memories of his past. His past didn't necessarily haunt him, but the things that he had done did. They weren't anything too terrible, but they still lingered overhead, taunting him. That night he hadn't slept. His nerves were keeping him awake, even as he peered out at the clearing of camp, where the moon shone down on the ground. It was a pretty light, but it was also a factor in stopping him from resting. There were often nights like this where he remained alert, awake for seemingly no reason other than his body not allowing him to fall asleep. It was an annoyance. In the daytime, he fought to stay awake. His eyelids always drooped, and he nearly passed out more than a few times. It was concerning, but he never went out of his way to get help for it. Sundance was busy enough as it was.


    A shout caused him to jolt a bit, caught off guard by the sudden noise. The sounds of sobs eventually caused him to lift his head from his paws, curiosity peaked. Another thing that was worrisome was hearing someone crying in the middle of the night. Rosemont eventually stood from his laying position, moving to seek out whoever it was that was sobbing. When he came upon Ella's shaking form, he rushed forward to lay down beside her, concern flashing in his amber eyes.


    "Ella, what's wrong? What happened?" Rosemont inquired hastily, attempting to capture her attention and draw her away from whatever was upsetting her. His voice was hushed, in a whisper so as not to disrupt others in case they were nearby and trying to sleep as well.

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — Upon hearing someone approach the feline entire body tensed up. She quickly uncovered her ears and looked up a bit terrified. She knew well that not many of the clan were up at that time. Was it an enemy then? Would someone hurt her? These thoughts were caused by her still shaken mind, but to her they were legitimate.


    When she saw it was Rosemont she relaxed a bit. Though they hadn’t talked in quite some time she still considered him close. Actually, he was the closest person she had. Though she disappeared at times she still cared deeply about him. It probably would never change.


    ”Just a dream,” she said wiping her eyes a bit. Even with how close they were she still felt like she had to be strong. She had to take care of others. Even at the expense of herself. At least, that was how she felt.


    ”I’m sorry if I woke you up,” she added putting on a small, brave smile. Honestly, part of her was scared. How would he feel about her if he knew the truth? Knew about her killing her mother. Would he hate her? In her mind he probably would. After all, murdering your own kin to her was a serious crime. A despicable act that shouldn’t be forgiven. It hurt to think about these questions, but they were reasonable to ask.


    For a moment her smile faltered as she wondered how he would treat her if he knew what she had done. She hadn’t even noticed this small change as she was too focused on her paranoia. Luckily she had looked back at the ground as she began thinking.


    ☆ ― Rosemont seemed to relax a bit in his laying position, though there was still a tenseness in his shoulders and neck. He worried for her despite the time apart they had faced. It didn't matter to him. As long as she was there while he was, then he was perfectly content. Even though she was there, he felt as though she wasn't mentally. Something told him that there was an entity bothering her. Whatever it was, he didn't know, but he longed to find out, especially since his concern for her had skyrocketed in the moments he had been with her.


    "Must've been some dream," Rosemont replied idly, looking to her for a moment before glancing away. He rested his head on his paws before releasing a cleansing sigh, clearly a bit off put by her response. He eventually settled his gaze back on her, an internal shake of his head soon following. "You didn't. I was already up," the lanky wolf reassured with a minor shrug of his shoulders, the best he could given the position he was in. He remained silent for a few moments more before parting his lips to speak to her, to ask her a question that had been on his mind for some time. "Where have ya been? Aristotle's gone. I didn't have anyone," he inquired, his tone sounding a bit strained as Freudian slips escaped his maw. He wasn't trying to blame her, but he did feel as though he had been abandoned a bit. After all, she had been gone for a while with no trace as to where, and no reasoning for being away.


    The paladin commander released another sigh, this one more exasperated in the way it sounded. He wasn't upset with her, and he didn't want it to seem that way, but he assumed he came off as such. Rosemont hoped she understood his position, but he could never be sure. She was, after all, someone else. She didn't have the same mindset as himself. "Talk to me," he pleaded in a low volumed voice, eyes attempting to seek out hers.

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — The feline's body tensed up as he asked her the question she dreaded. Part of her hoped he would have never asked. She hoped he would have just accepted that she was back, and then she could make up for the time that she had missed. It seemed as though this wouldn't be the case.


    Her brave smile vanished as her expression became void of emotion. It was true, she wasn't really there mentally. She was still stuck in the time she was kidnapped. The time she had spent being tortured by her psychopathic mother. The time where she felt absolutely powerless and vulnerable. She was still there even if she didn't want to admit it.


    Ella couldn't even bring her eyes to meet his. Shame and fear enveloped her mind as she tried to find a response. How was she supposed to tell him? Tell him about her kidnapping, her torture, and worst of all, the moment she killed her mother. She wasn't sure how she could tell the wolf without him hating her. In her eyes what she had done was unforgivable. Not only that, but by disappearing she had hurt him too. She had left him to suffer on his own. Suffer the loss of what was likely his crush. If only she could take it back.


    "I..." she started though hesitated for a moment. She was struggling to get the truth out of her mouth. Part of her almost wanted to lie, but she wasn't sure how. "I had to help a native. A young girl who lived the same way I had," she said still not looking at him. She was telling him the truth, and the truth he asked for. After the clan had shifted to Agrelos she had found Clarice struggling with her family much like she had growing up.


    This was after the shift though. After Aristotle went missing. The part that haunted her though was the first time she left. When Aristotle was still there to take care of what she had missed. The time before she showed up to the border of the territory bloodied and mentally broken. That was the time she spent countless nights having nightmares about. The source of the nightmare she just had.


    Her dull, green hues looked ahead of her as she held onto what was likely false hope. Hope that he wouldn't ask about that missing portion of time.

    ☆ ― She had to help a native who lived the same way she had? Though that would have been enough for him to back off before, it now meant little to him. There was obviously something she wasn't telling him, and it was beginning to stir an irritation within him that he couldn't quite describe. The feeling did not show on his features, as he managed to hide it particularly well, but there was a frown on his lips that displayed some sort of disappointment in the response he had gotten out of her. "That's it? That's all ya did? A native was more important to you than yer clan, yer friends..?" The questions were rhetorical, but they were growing more angered than the last. He hadn't mean to show it, or get upset with her, but she had left him. It felt like abandonment to a degree, one that he couldn't quite accept.


    The lanky wolf managed to calm himself down by looking away and taking a few shaky, yet deep, breaths. What he needed was a cigarette, but he unfortunately didn't have one on paw. Rosemont soon turned back to her, head craning so that he could better peer at the smaller feline, a softer look in his eye. "Sorry," he apologized in a quiet voice, obviously regretting what he had done. He hoped she could forgive him. After all, the both of them had undergone so much together, as well as on their own. "Now.. What's really botherin' ya?" Rosemont questioned her, staring at her a bit pointedly so that she wouldn't back out of the query. He wanted the truth, not some excuse. He believed her about helping some girl, but he knew it wasn't the full truth. There was something bothering her, stopping her from telling him what was truly going on.

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — The flower crowned feline didn't have to look at him to know he was disappointed. When he began to ask his questions though she curled her tail closer to her body. It did little to comfort her anxiety though as she continued looking ahead of her. It wasn't like she wanted to lie to her friend. She just didn't want to lose the last person she held close to her heart. That would be more devastating then anything else that life could throw at her. If she lost him she would probably end up losing herself too.


    Ella listened as he tried to take some deep breaths in. She knew before he even apologized that he felt bad. Though they had spent quite some time apart they still cared about one another. They had been through a lot, but so far that hadn't effected their friendship. Would it still stay if he knew how terrible she had become?


    Her green hues finally moved over to him as he apologized. "It's okay," she told him before he asked his last question. Her entire body grew tense as she looked ahead of her. From the look that he gave her she knew she couldn't find a way around it. There was no way she could lie to him either. For a brief moment she kept quiet before finally taking in a small breath.


    "Before my first return I had left to attend my mother's funeral," she started deciding to just get straight to the point. To start from the beginning of the story that led to her sleepless nights. "I had gotten a note from my father telling me that she had passed. I figured I would just pay my respects and come back...." she continued though as she spoke her voice stopped while she tried to hold back tears. "I fell right into her trap," she said once she could regain her voice. "She had a psychotic break and kidnapped me after killing my father and siblings. She kept me in this dark cave, and kept hurting me with anything she found until I screamed. I tried to find some way to escape, but the only way I could...... she explained before stopping at the part she dreaded most.


    "I killed my mother," she finished as tears began flowing down her face. If there had been any other options at the time she would have taken them instead. She would have done anything that didn't require her to kill someone else. Now she had to deal with the consequences of her actions. Deal with the consequences of doing such a horrible deed in order to get home.