I'm blue.... (p Felix)

The winner of the latest giveaway is: Shadowstar the leader! Congratulations to them! To the rest of you: please stop letting them win all the games! Just click below to learn how to enter the monthly giveaways!

The next giveaway is for Jurassic World Evolution Deluxe! Check here for more info!
  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 4 moons ★ female

    BloodClan was her home. Home was where the heart was. Home was a place you were supposed to love, and feel safe in. Home had the people you cared about nearby. Home was... Home. But Minnow didn't feel like she was home, not lately. Had it ever felt like home, truly? No.. She just didn't fit in. No matter what Minnow wanted, she couldn't be what BloodClan was. Cold, ruthless, bloodthirsty, fierce... So why had she joined? Was she just an idiot, a cloud-headed kit who thought everything would somehow be okay? Well, yeah, partly. Honestly, Minnow should've known from the start. She shouldn't have been fooled. But she had been. Minnow had been told that 'blood' didn't stand for death, or fighting, or anything that it sounds like. She'd been told that 'blood' stood for family. A group of cats so close, that it was as if they all shared the same blood. That was what she'd imagined, at least. Silly me...


    Felix had been the one to tell her that. Her now best friend, had lied to her the moment they'd met. Minnow knew he'd meant well. Clearly he'd been trying not to scare her, he'd known she needed a home and a place to live, the lie had been the only way to make her stay happily. She should appreciate what he'd done, and get over it. But Minnow, just couldn't. Maybe if he'd told her, before she'd found out elsewhere.. I shouldn't have had to been told. It was clear as day, everywhere you looked. Cats with harsh gleams in their eyes, claws that weren't normal claws, collars made of teeth and who knew what else. And, it was right there in the name. BloodClan. Not FamilyClan, not Happy-fun-timeClan, nothing like that. Minnow felt tears come to her eyes, and she kicked a pebble in frustration and watched it skid away. She had no where else to go. She was, in a way, stuck in BloodClan. A place that scared her, that hurt her, and a place where she felt utterly alone. Especially now. Especially without Felix.


    // -Renegade- heeeree it is! You can decide if it's after the capture of Duck or not :)

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    // Thanks! And yeah,, lets have this before the capture


    Felix didn't know what to think.

    These days he wasn't the same. Colder. More eager to please. He was losing himself to a shell. A shell that he was afraid he would live as till the day he died.

    But what could do? Run away? No. He wanted this. He wanted to please, to be stronger, to prove himself.

    And it was working.


    Felix didn't know what to feel. These days Minnow wasn't the same. Distant. More aware. He was losing her. He was afraid she was slipping away. But what could he do? Run away? Again, that wasn't an option. He needed this. He needed to please, to be stronger, to prove himself. And it was working.


    He felt only happiness when he was with Minnow. She was the ray of sunshine in the storm that was BloodClan. Though he was afraid. He was becoming more aware that he would have to choose between her and his future as a guard.


    They needed to figure this out.


    Searching for her caramel and white coat, he caught up to her, seeing that she was kicking some pebble around.


    "um.. hi, Minnow" he didn't dare use her nickname.

    (c)trexgirl



    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 4 moons ★ female

    It wasn't just Felix she was upset with. Revolution, who picked on her, yet tried to 'help' her. Who told her she was too skinny, then said she ate too much. Why couldn't he make up his mind? She was upset with herself too, for being this way. So weak in a clan that demanded strength. Unable to look her leader in the eye because she was scared of the scars he worse. She was upset that she had no control, over anything at all in this place. She didn't want to be leader or anything like that, certainly not. But it would be nice to feel like there was one thing she could be certain of. At first she'd thought Felix could be that. Now, not so sure.


    Ah, and there he was. Minnow hesitated, not wanting to turn and look at him when she had tears in her eyes. She blinked rapidly, taking deep breaths, but anyone who'd truly tried that knew that it didn't work well. Really, it just made the tears more prominent, getting into her eyelashes and the fur along her eyes. She couldn't keep staring after the pebble though, and finally Minnow turned around. "H-ey Felix." Her voice hitched, and the she kit could've hissed at herself. Now even if he hadn't seen her tears, he'd know. He's always known I wouldn't fit in with BloodClan. That's why he hadn't told her the truth. A sudden emotion swept through her, strong and fierce, and Minnow had to know. She had to why he'd said what he had almost a moon ago. "Why did you tell me that BloodClan would be a family?"

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    Felix watched Minnow carefully, and saw that she was trying to hid tears.

    Did he.. why was she crying? Did he do something?

    Probably.

    He opened his maw to speak, but no sound escaped.


    Why did you tell me that BloodClan would be a family?


    Felix froze.


    "I...I didn't want you to feel alone. I wanted you to have a family. Like me and Crow can be yours" he swallowed nervously. "BloodClan.. is a rough group. But we all protect eachother. We live and thrive together. Sorta like. family" he cringed at his own words.



    (c)trexgirl

    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 4 moons ★ female

    He seemed to freeze at her question, and Minnow felt bad for what she said. I shouldn't have asked. It's only going to make things worse, and I already know why. He knew I wouldn't stay if I'd known the truth. She couldn't make herself take it back though, Minnow wanted to know what he'd say now. 'I didn't want you to feel alone.' That was such a nice thing, and Minnow looked down as he continued. He had wanted what was best for her, he'd wanted her to have a family. But... But why this one? Wouldn't it have been better if she'd continued on, and found a different group of cats? She'd not have become friends with Felix otherwise, but hadn't he known she wouldn't fit in to BloodClan? A family is what he'd wanted for her, but Minnow was an outsider. He hadn't wanted her to be alone, but being alone whilst surrounded by other cats was worse than being physically alone. BloodClan, a rough group? Yeah, Minnow knew that. How many cats had she known die or get hurt? The nameless kit with the mangled face. The WindClan kit. The DarkClanner's mother. Tabitha. More certainly, that she didn't know of.


    "Felix... How can I ever be part of this family? You all are so..." She flicked her tail helplessly, the right word seemingly not in existence. "And I'm not. Would a real family expect me to hurt others? Capture them? K-... Kill them?" Well, maybe some. Obviously some, BloodClan was one of them. Just not one that Minnow could ever belong with. How can they all do it? Maybe it's more normal than I know. She hadn't had a real family for long. Siblings taken away, mother killed. Maybe if they'd all grown up together, her mother would've taught her to fight and kill. Minnow didn't think so though. She hoped that wasn't the case.

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    Minnow began speaking, and the tuxedo tore his eyes away from her. 'you are all so...'. 'You are all so..' she included him in that. Was she afraid of him..?

    Felix flattened his ears and sighed sadly.

    "Minnow.. I was born here. This is the only way of life I know. If i'm told to kill.. it's what I have to do. I don't know what a normal family is like. But I love my mom and my brothers. This is my family" he mewed softly. "This is my life. But.." his breath hitched. "it doesn't have to be yours." he closed his eyes tightly.

    "Are you leaving me?"



    (c)trexgirl



    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 4 moons ★ female

    Her friend's ears flattened, and Minnow wanted so badly to comfort him. He was her best friend, how could she make him feel this way? "I don't know what a normal family is either." This was his only home, and he tried his best in it. He wanted to be accepted, and would do a lot of things to be accepted. Even... Even kill. Minnow didn't want to ask this either, but wouldn't it be a good thing to know? For both of them? "What if... You were told to kill me?" To the caramel she kit, it didn't seem that far of a stretch. She was worthless in terms of fighting and capturing, she could hunt okay, but other than that why would Caledon want her around? What if, just to force Felix to prove his loyalty, the leader asked him to kill his weakling of a friend? Would I be angry at Felix? Minnow wasn't sure. This was his life, and his family. Would she have killed for her own family? I don't know... He probably didn't either.


    Felix told her that this was his life. He couldn't walk away with it, the same way Minnow was starting to feel she couldn't. It was who he was, and who she was starting to become. She was desperately scared, and he was just desperate. Desperate to prove himself to his clan and family. Leaving him? Felix sounded so sad at the thought. He couldn't look at her now, his eyes were closed against whatever emotion he was feeling. "I don't... I don't think I can leave, Felix." Minnow didn't think she could go anywhere else. Like it or not, this was going to be her life. She... Wasn't looking forward to it right now, but she'd keep trying. Keep trying until she settled in, or was picked off by natural selection. "This life is... I know it's hard." It would be hard for anyone, even Felix. "And I know it's your life, and there are things you gotta do, but... Can you.." Could he promise her one thing? No. It wouldn't be right to ask either, to put him in that position. It was a promise he could make, but would never be able to keep. "Never mind. Just... We can stay friends, right?" Right?

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    What if you were told to kill me?


    Felix's jaws gaped open in shock. "Min.. you know I would never do that! I'd sooner leave BloodClan" he swore, looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. He didn't want anyone to hurt her or him.

    "And it's not fair that you have to live this way.." he mewed softly.


    Minnow began to ask Felix for something, but stopped herself. Amber eyes narrowed in concern, the tuxedo looked at her carefully. "Can I what?" he asked softly.

    She continued, asking if they could still be friends.

    Felix smiled sadly. "I really hope so". He wasn't sure if they could, but he was sure he wanted her to be his friend still.



    (c)trexgirl

    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    It was something of a great relief to hear that Felix wouldn't kill her, if that's what he was told to do. At least their friendship went that far. But he'd also said that if BloodClan told him to kill, he would kill. So which was the lie? His next words might be humorous to some, nothing was really fair, it seemed. It wasn't fair that Felix had to live a life like this, that this was all he'd ever known. It wasn't fair that Minnow's family had been torn apart. It wasn't fair that for Felix to belong in BloodClan, his actions would have to cut Minnow deep. "It's, better than living in the streets." In most ways, at least. He wanted to know what she'd been about to ask, and Minnow hesitated for some moments. He wouldn't be able to make the promise. And if he does, it'll be a lie. He'd asked to know though, so she finally spoke. "Could you, promise me that... You won't needlessly hurt someone, just for admiration? If it's an order..." Minnow still didn't think it was right, but she doubted anyone could refuse an order from Caledon.


    "If it's an order than I understand. But... There are other ways to gain respect than hurting some innocent forest cat, isn't there?" Minnow knew it wasn't fair to try and extract a promise like that. But wasn't there? Minnow knew she'd still respect Felix if he didn't torture anyone, surely for others there would be something else he could do? 'I really hope so.' He sounded just as uncertain as she was about whether or not their friendship could survive. If we both don't know, what's going to happen? What if Minnow did lose her best friend? How would she cope in this place, this land of loss, pain, blood, and other horrors? I'll figure it out. She'd have to, sooner or later.


    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    Felix sighed softly. "I don't know. Sometimes it seems the streets are safer than being with BloodClan" he murmured, amber eyes glancing away guiltily.

    He shouldn't say sigh things. It was disloyal.


    When Minnow asked him to make the promise, he froze.


    He couldn't make that promise! How did he know how he would change?? He was already losing himself.. his honor, his sympathy. He was losing it so fast. Soon he would become like Vale.. or Blahkenmuro or Garbage or-

    He couldn't make that promise. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't-


    "I promise" he mewed softly, amber eyes staying trained on his paws.


    Why did he make that promise?



    Why?



    He couldn't say no to her. His only true friend. It may have been a mistake, but there was no way he was hurting Minnow anymore.


    "I promise I won't" this time he looked her in the eyes.

    (c)trexgirl



    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    Minnow tilted her head. Really? But... In the streets, you were alone, you were in constant danger, and had to work quite hard to survive. Huh. Now that she thought about it, being in BloodClan, kind of felt the same. Well, not as lonely. Not when she had Felix, though Minnow was so scared she wouldn't, soon. Felix looked a little guilty that he'd said that, Minnow supposed it might be seen as a traitorous thing to say. You had to watch what you said in a place like BloodClan. Watch what you did even more. One wrong word, and no one trusted you. Some might even hate you. One wrong action, and most would assume things about you. They'd decide opinions right then and there, and if would be next to impossible to change them. That's why he can't make the promise. Minnow told herself as Felix became still. That' why-


    'I promise.' He wasn't looking at her, and if Minnow tried hard enough she could almost believe he hadn't spoken. No. But he, he can't make that promise. He was a BloodClanner. Being cruel was... Was what they did. He didn't, you didn't hear him say it, you're just being wishful... Now Felix looked up, amber eyes locking with her brown ones. 'I promise I won't.' There was no mistaking his words this time. Oh Felix... Minnow hoped beyond hope that he could say that, and have the words be true. A small while ago, perhaps she'd have believed him instantly. But the turkish van knew better now. A promise like that, made in BloodClan, was like a ticking bomb. Sooner or later, Felix's time would run out. Sooner or later, the words would be nothing more than another lie. One day innocent blood would be on the tuxedo's paws, and Minnow would cry for this broken promise. I wish you hadn't promised... She wished she hadn't asked. Minnow realized she'd been silent for quite awhile, lost in her own despairing thoughts. "Thank you, Felix." It was all she could say. Was there a glimmer of hope in her words? Hope that maybe she was wrong, that somehow, Felix would be able to keep his promise in this place? No. In BloodClan, there was no hope to be found for cats like Minnow.

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    // awhng my heart


    Minnow stared at him with a weird expression. It was sad, thankful, and maybe hopeful.


    Felix wouldn't be ready for the day he broke that promise. He'd try hard to keep it. He could try. For Minnow.


    Glancing at her quickly after she thanked him, he smiled shyly. "No problem. Um.. and Minnow? While we're making promises.." he trailed off nervously. "Can you make one to me? I... If anyone is pushing you around or something.. I want you to tell me" he mewed softly. Felix didn't want to be overprotective, but he knew how sensitive she was. BloodClan was so harsh.. and Felix was sure someone would pick her out because she was easy to hurt. They would take advantage of her kind nature.


    She would probably ask why.


    He didn't want his friend to get hurt. To crumble and shatter in this cold world. She was the brightest cat in BloodClan. He didn't want that light to go out.


    Though that was probably inevitable. BloodClan snuffed every bright flame out quickly. Like a cold wind or a heavy blanket, smothering happiness and kindness.


    He wanted to just.. protect her a little while longer. Or at least try.

    (c)trexgirl



    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |

  • You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    He had a promise he wanted her to make too. Minnow pricked her ears, then flicked them in surprise. He'd want to know if she were being pushed around? Really? He cared enough for her well being in that regard that he was asking her to promise? It made Minnow think about what was going on lately, about Revolution and Dualkit and Azuri. All cats she was on the wrong side of, all cats who let her know they didn't think the best of her, and all cats who could easily push her around. I don't need to bother Felix with that though... It wasn't so bad, when she thought hard about it. They just... Wanted her to be a BloodClanner. Understandable, right? But if it got bad, really bad... Maybe it would be okay to share her feelings with Felix. Minnow was hesitant, she didn't want Felix to have to deal with her problems as well as his own. So her wouldn't worry though, the she kit nodded. "Yeah. O-Okay, I will, Felix." It would be hard, hard to decide what was worthy of telling him, hard to decide to tell him at all. The caramel and white girl was a reclusive creature, generally she put her feelings last, and convinced herself that those around her were right, whatever they said. Minnow had promised though, and she'd do her best to keep it. What if my promise becomes a lie too? Lies. Horrible, ugly things, that often drove the closest cats apart. More likely than not, both cats would have to face the consequences, someday. Minnow was quiet again, not feeling quite great, but a tad better than she had been feeling. "So, uh.. Wanna go hunting, or something? She still planned on repaying BloodClan for the prey she'd eaten, and maybe Felix would be able to show her some pointers. In nicer ways than Revolution...

    Tags "speech" thoughts

  • Felix






    Felix paused after she told him she promised. He wasn't sure if she would tell him every time.. but he felt a bit more comfort at least. Besides, he owed her. She had been the best friend he could ask for. If he could help her out somehow, he'd do it.

    "Thanks, Min" he smiled, sighing softly with relief.


    The caramel and white girl asked if they could hunt, and Felix nodded. "Yeah.. that sounds good. Maybe I can show you a few tricks" he grinned. "Dyou have a place in mind?"


    (c)trexgirl



    Cause I Love the Adrenaline in My Veins

    tags | played by -Renegade- | theme song | tuxedo coat | male | 5 moons | guard trainee |