I'm so tired.
TIRED OF THESE ACHING BONES
I can't keep going in this WEAK, B RO KE N ME S S CALLED A BODY.
How much longer? Until he faded away into nothingness, forgetting faces, names, and memories made over the years of being alive. How much longer did he have to make amends with himself and the wrongs he had done? Little– so little. It was a nagging sensation in the back of a warped, exhausted mind. Not enough time. Never enough. All regrets and mistakes lodged in an aching heart wanting nothing more than the sweet release of true death, but not this way. No. To be slowly absorbed–CONSUMED–until there's nothing left–nothing–and it terrified him. Prayers to a God who didn't believe in him gone unanswered, seeking atonement for sins he couldn't control.
A C R U E L GOD.
A FAKE GOD.
AN UNWORTHY GOD.
Was it so? All of these foreign thoughts to be true? It made the demon feel better when it told him such words. Words he tried to push away, refusing to listen, but it had some good points. ( At least he believed or did he even believe? Who's to say these thoughts and feelings are his own and not its? ) A kind, forgiving God would give him some sort of redemption, right? Of course. Of course. No. No... Not his thoughts. Invasive, persuasive thoughts.
A heavy exhale pushed out of a slightly parted, black ooze dripping down and splattering across white sand. The unbearable heat suffocating the skeletal serval, ebony fur drinking in the heat. Scars hadn't ceased to stop itching, feeling as if blood was seeping out of the pours, but there was never any evidence. Each step forward was agonizing and sluggish. As if someone dipped his paws in cement before throwing him out after it hardened, not bothering to remove his encased feet. Dull, neon orange eyes shift from side to side, nostrils flaring at the scent of decaying bodies ahead and the hunger– the HUNGER. His stomach knotted up before it released a loud yowl as it screamed at him to hurry up. 2 years and 2 months of painful starvation because he refused to eat his other clan-mates. Too self-conscious about eating the corpse of someone already deceased and no longer having use of the body. The terrible hunger pangs hurt. Physically, mentally, emotionally. But the smell of rotting flesh was just so intoxicating–
CONSUME THE FLESH. DEVOUR THE BODIES. BONES AND ALL. GORGE, GORGE, GORGEGORGEGORGEGORGEGORGEGORGE–
( This is why nobody likes you. )
Disgusting. No wonder nobody liked him. Gross, twisted, insufferable. The demon doesn't blame them. If he met him as a different individual he wouldn't like him neither. That why his Dad hated him. That's why Nameless disappeared. That's why everything and everyone he touches crumbles to dust and gets blown away. It's all his fault, isn't? The thorn in the side needing to be removed. Yes... It made sense now, but it didn't hurt any less.
Bony figure came to a stop, hesitating to get any closer, not wanting to mess this up too. That's how it happens. Homes he cherished end up lost in time all thanks to him. Tail waving behind him, Deadboy took a step back, ears twisted back as negative thoughts piled on top of each other in a struggling mind.
There is no such thing as home anymore.