you’re killing me with chemistry || priv.

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    (( that’s the cutest idea ever i’m in tears ))


    it usually took eunjae forever to get ready in the morning. he really didn’t have much to do, just brush his teeth, get dressed, fix his hair, and put his contacts in; but he always managed to stretch everything out so anyone would think he had some long elaborate routine. but he decided to be as quick as he could for ewen, not wanting to keep him waiting and not wanting to wait any longer than he had to to see his face again.


    once he was ready, he went back to his room and knocked on the door, not wanting to walk in in the middle of ewen changing. it wasn’t like he never wanted to see ewen like that, it was just that it was way too early in their relationship and they would probably both be so embarrassed that they’d evaporate into thin air. once he heard ewen say it was okay to come in, he peeked inside and smiled at the other boy. he would never get used to how beyond cute ewen looked in his clothes. “c’mon, i’ll make you that bowl of cereal i promised last night.”


    he grabbed his keys off of his desk and headed down the stairs, looking behind him once to make sure that ewen was following him. once he reached the kitchen he pulled out two bowls from the cabinet and started getting their breakfast ready, looking around to see what he had to make ewen for lunch as he carried the bowls of cereal over to the table. he sat them down on the spaces across from one another, sitting on one side and nodding towards the opposite side for ewen to sit down. “what do you usually take in for lunch?”


    as he began eating, he tried to be rather discreet about the fact he was checking ewen out again. “you look good in my clothes. keep the hoodie, it looks a lot better on you than it eber did on me.” he took another bite of cereal, a small smile coming to his face. “besides it probably smells like me and boyfriends like that kind of stuff, right? and whenever you wear it i’ll be reminded of how you’re all mine. it’s a win-win situation for both of us.”

    ( ewen's gonna be like, "okay you're gonna be mad at me but like i really wanted to kiss you because you just look really cute and stuff"

    ewen's catchphrase is gonna be, "you're hot and stuff" )


    ewen usually took his time to change, but the thought of having eunjae walk in on him while he was changing was beyond embarrassing, so he made sure to change as quick as possible. when eunjae came back in, he felt himself just want to be in his arms, like, forever. this thought was in the back of his mind as eunjae led him down the stairs to the kitchen, and ewen looked around nervously to check if his parents were there, which, he saw, they weren't.


    he quietly walked behind eunjae into the kitchen, watching him as he got their bowls of cereal and sat back down. he took the seat across from him, quietly picking up the spoon to begin eating. he was pretty nervous about being in the general area of eunjae's home, mostly because he didn't know how much privacy they had and what he could or couldn't say. in eunjae's room, at least, he knew that it was an open place and they could pretty much do what they wanted, but the general vicinity of a home was less obvious.


    upon being asked what he usually takes to school for lunch, ewen took a sharp breath. "my mom usually makes me a sandwich or something. but whatever you make me is good." he said, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he spoke. he went back to quietly eating his bowl of cereal when he heard eunjae make a comment about how he looked in the hoodie. ewen felt his cheeks heat up as he put a spoon of cereal in his mouth, and he pulled the hood of the hoodie over his head in an attempt to hide his cheeks.


    you would have thought that after last night, ewen wouldn't be blushing over a compliment, but ewen didn't think he could ever get used to compliments when they came from eunjae. he listened to the rest of what eunjae was saying, which made him giggle a little. "are you marking your territory?" he asked, a cute grin showing up on his features. "you're like a dog, marking your territory with your scent." the idea made him giggle. eunjae really was like a dog. he was cute, he marked his territory with his scent, and he was as kind and gentle as a golden retriever.

    (( eunjae’s catchphrase is every way possible of calling ewen cute

    and i’m sobbing at eunjae being compared to a golden retriever that’s so cute

    ewen is like a little shiba like they’re so cute and small but they’re also ready to snap and act tough ))


    a sandwich, that was simple enough. he could make that. he could make something different, switch it up for ewen, but he didn’t want to risk making something that he didn’t like. besides, his cooking skills weren’t that great. so a sandwich it was, hopefully he had chances in the future to make him lunch again, when he knew more about what he liked and disliked.


    “hey!” he spoke through a mouthful of food, which obviously wasn’t his most attractive moment, but ewen was comparing him to a dog. he had to defend himself. “i am not anything like a dog.” he huffed, pretending to be mad about the comparison. truthfully the fact that ewen had thought of something like that was rather cute. “at least have some decency and compare me to a cat, you know i’m a cat person.”


    suddenly something else came to mind that made him blush just thinking about it, so he was sure ewen would blush when he heard it. “besides, there’s better ways to mark my territory. the hoodie smelling like me is something only you’d know. probably. if i wanted to make it really obvious that you’re mine i’d just give you a hickey or something.” he laughed to himself, eager to see ewen’s reaction, shoveling another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. “would you prefer that?”




    ( ewen is a little shiba !!!!! that's adorable !!!!

    i'm screaming at eunjae rn, control yourself pls boy

    also, every time i see jaemin now, i think of eunjae, and every time i see daehwi, i think of ewen )


    ewen let out a small laugh as eunjae tried to defend himself after his dog comment. he was more like a cat, since cats usually marked their territory by rubbing. "okay, fine, you're like a cat when you mark your territory. you're always rubbing yourself against me, anyway." he said with a grin. he'd noticed eunjae speaking through his food, and while his mother would have taught him to see that as something impolite, ewen couldn't help but see it as something cute.


    eunjae's next comment turned ewen's face completely red. a hickey? the thought of eunjae giving him a hickey made him blush even more, and he frantically tried to find a way to throw this back at him. "the hoodie's fine!" he said, a bit too loudly. truthfully, he didn't know how to tell eunjae that, yes, he would prefer a hickey. the thought of the two of them being in that position and being in that situation where eunjae would be able to give ewen a hickey made him extremely shy.


    "we should probably get to school." he said, frantically getting up from his seat with the unfinished bowl of cereal and placing it next to the sink before practically speed walking to the front door. "you'll have to drop me off at my house first, my backpack is back there!" he called to eunjae, though he was dreading the car ride to his house.

    (( if jaemin and daehwi are ever anywhere close to each other i’ll scream

    eunjae: *gets embarrassed and excited over his first kiss*

    also eunjae: damn baby you want a hickey or what ))


    eunjae could only throw his head back and laugh, feeling rather happy with succeeding to make ewen blush and rush out of the house like that. he got up and put his bowl in the sink as well, quickly making a sandwich for ewen so he didn’t go hungry at lunch and rushed out the door.


    “you’ll have to tell me how to get to your house as i drive, okay?” he unlocked the car and got in, waiting for ewen to be buckled in and ready and then pulled out, heading towards ewen’s house. surprisingly, he lived a lot closer than eunjae thought he did, which was good. if either of them just wanted to see eachother, they wouldn’t have to travel far. and plus they wouldn’t be late for school now, which was good. while eunjae wouldn’t mind if he was late, he didn’t want ewen to be late.


    he stopped in front of ewen’s house, quickly placing a hand on his wrist before he could get out of the car. he remembered that the whole reason ewen came to his house in the first place was because of his parents fighting. “i’ll be out here waiting, okay?” he didn’t know how things would go for ewen once he was inside, but just in case things weren’t so great he wanted him to know that he was just right outside his front door .


    he let go of his wrist, just to reach up and push down the hood that he had put up at breakfast so he could hide his face. “your face is way too cute to cover up.” he mumbled, leaning over and pressing a kiss against ewen’s lips. “remember, i’ll be right here waiting. now go, i don’t want you to be late.” he slowly let go of ewen, sitting back in his seat as he waited for ewen to go get his things.


    he wasn’t exactly sure how he would be able to successfully look like he totally didn’t drive ewen to school, but that was something to worry about once they actually got to school. eunjae hoped that they just got there before any of his friends did, seeing as they usually waited in the parking lot for him. if they got there first, he could at least give ewen a goodbye kiss and rush him off inside the school before his friends showed up.


    ( same, everyone's gonna be like, "wtf are you screaming about"

    ASKDLDM literally this boy needs to chill out, he's too much - )


    the car ride consisted of ewen trying to calm his beating heart and make his face go back to its normal tone. he had done his best to just stare out the window of the car and try to avoid looking at eunjae, despite giving directions, but every once in a while he would steal glances at the taller male, trying not to make himself look too obvious. it was a short ride to his house, which he couldn't have been more thankful for, and he was about to immediately head out of the car to get his things when he felt eunjae take hold of his wrist.


    he turned his head towards eunjae, feeling like all the work he'd just done to calm his heart was now being ruined. he was pretty much breathless as eunjae spoke to him, for a reason he had no idea why, and he almost didn't process eunjae's words before the other male took down the hood of his hoodie, leaned forward, and kissed him. it was their third kiss but it still felt like their first to ewen. he didn't really know what to say, so he didn't say anything as he got out of the car, still blushing like crazy.


    he entered his house quite slowly, calling out to whoever was in the house with a, "hello?" there was no reply. he should have figured as much, his mother probably should have been at the shoppe by now, they opened quite early. his father must have left the night before as well, given that the house was still intact and nothing was out of place. ewen slipped up to his room, entering and looking around for a moment.


    he wanted to invite eunjae to his house, so they could kiss in his room one day, but he knew that today wasn't that day, so he just grabbed his backpack and quickly slipped back downstairs. he made sure to grab the key from the stand next to the door as well, since his mother hadn't locked the house presumably because she assumed ewen would come back to the house to grab his things. once he was out and locked the door, he headed back to eunjae's car, taking a quick seat and putting his backpack on his lap. "okay, let's go." he said, letting out a huff as he spoke.

    (( if anyone knows how to make eunjae chill out even for a second please let me know how

    also this is really random but i was thinking about the little dates they could go on like eunjae would probably drag ewen with him to an arcade because he loves video games so much, and they’d go to a book store and eunjae would buy and read every book that ewen said was good, and eunjae would take him to the beach one day and they’d play in the ocean and eunjae would most definitely search for hours just to find a shell that matches the color of ewen’s eyes perfectly, and eunjae would try so hard to be the next gordon ramsay and attempt to make ewen a lasagna for a date night when his parents are away but he ends up burning it and orders lasagna from a restaurant right before ewen comes over and hopes he doesn’t notice, and when ewen’s parents fight again eunjae would drag him out on a roadtrip and they’d probably get lost and run out of gas because they really didn’t plan for anything and they’d have to sleep in the car until a tow truck could come the next morning and eunjae is just like this is the most romantic thing i’ve ever done ))


    eunjae started driving to school once ewen gave him the okay to. honestly, if he was just a bit more selfish he would have turned the car around and went back to his house or ewen’s house just to spend the day with him. but he wasn’t selfish enough to make them both miss school like that. he really just couldn’t wait until the next chance they had to spend that much time together again.


    once they arrived at school eunjae was rather relieved to see that he showed up earlier than usual, which meant that his friends weren’t there yet. he quickly parked the car, turning to face ewen. what was the nicest way to kick someone out of your car? “ewen, you’ll text me during school right?” it wasn’t like he expected ewen to text him during class but during lunch and in the hall and when he sat under the tree with his friends like he usually did, he wanted to hear from him. how his day was going, how much he missed him, what he learned about, everything and anything really.


    “if you want i can drive you home after school, i don’t have practice or work today.” he glanced down at his lap for a second then looked back up at ewen, hoping his next question wasn’t overstepping anything. “maybe i could come over to your house? i mean it’s only fair after all, you got to see my room and meet my parents. i wanna see what your room looks like and meet your mom.”


    he leaned forward and pressed another kiss to his lips. the more he kissed ewen, the more comfortable with it he was. and despite the fact that he was kissing him more, he felt like he always needed more; the more he kissed him the more he needed to do it. almost as if it was an addiction. once he pulled away from that kiss he gave him another, and another, and yet another. “my friends are going to be here soon.” he admitted softly, leaning back in his seat. “you should get heading inside, but i’ll see you after school right? i can meet you at your locker then.”

    The post was edited 1 time, last by soyee ().

    ( that all sounds like great dates tbh

    find me a mans who will take me on dates to the beach to find seashells that look like my eyes

    i have literally no date ideas so rip me but those all sound like ideal dates so i'm 100% down

    oH wait i have one

    ewen's the kind of guy to ask you to take him to a haunted house but scream at literally everything, so maybe ewen convinces eunjae to take him to, like, an abandoned house or something to go ghost hunting ?

    also, i timeskipped in the middle of my post since it would make the most sense that way )


    ewen had spent the rest of the car ride checking that he had everything in his backpack. he had double checked, and everything seemed to be there, so he was satisfied with his check. once they'd reached the school, ewen was ready for eunjae to tell him to get out of the car, so he prepared himself for those words. however, as eunjae turned towards him, ewen turned towards him as well, and he felt himself hold his breath for a moment as eunjae began speaking.


    "yeah, i'll text you." he murmured, nodding slightly as he spoke. that was sort of a given, wasn't it? ewen's common sense told him to refrain from texting eunjae during school hours just in case either of them were questioned as to why they were on their phones so much. but, really, could ewen resist at least checking in with eunjae and telling him he missed him? there wasn't really anything he could do about that, so he might as well just let him know.


    when eunjae asked him if he could come over to his house, ewen felt himself blush a bit. it was only fair, ewen had come over to eunjae's house, and unannounced at that. his mother surely wouldn't mind, or at least wouldn't say anything, if he just brought him over. besides, his mother always wanted him to make new friends, so seeing a new face come over to their house would surely make her happy. "yeah, definitely." he said, confirming eunjae's request of going over to his house.


    ewen felt himself hold his breath as eunjae leaned forward and kissed him, though he let that breath out before he did it again and again. ewen felt himself smile a little bit, even as eunjae told him to start heading inside to school. he leaned forward and pecked eunjae on the lips before nodding to what he said and exiting the car. he looked back once before heading inside the school towards his locker.


    the first two periods of the day went as well as they possibly could have. ewen hadn't been able to focus on his schoolwork, he'd just been thinking about eunjae and what he was doing. during the first passing period, he'd spent most of it walking around the school area where his class was, hoping to see eunjae at least a bit. he'd failed on that, not having seen him at all.


    the second passing period, ewen was a bit more dedicated. he'd been told by a friend about eunjae's next class, so he had made his way towards the area in which that class was, and started looking around for eunjae. it wasn't too long before he saw him, and it felt like he was seeing him for the first time all over again. ewen quickly scoured his surroundings, seeing a supply closet not that far away, and deciding his plan immediately.


    there weren't that many people in the hallway, as it was nearing the end of the passing period, so ewen took initiative and walked over to eunjae as discreetly as possible, grabbed him and quickly dragged him over to the supply closet that he'd seen earlier. he quickly shut the door behind the two of them and turned on the light. it was only then that he realized that he had eunjae pressed up against the wall, and he felt himself blush slightly.


    "okay, so, i know you said that we had to be discreet but, it's just that i really missed you and someone told me where your next class was and i saw you and i just couldn't help myself because i just," he paused, taking hold of eunjae's shirt in his hands. "i really wanted to kiss you." he looked up at eunjae's face, more specifically his eyes, and took a deep breath before standing on his toes and pressing a kiss against eunjae's lips. even if the other male pushed him away and exited, ewen couldn't help himself.

    (( that sounds so cute omg everytime ewen gets scared eunjae is always just like how could a ghost want to scare something as cute as you ?? i’m gonna fight these damn ghosts like he just keeps trying to convince ewen that there’s something there so he gets more scared so he has an excuse to hold him and act like a tough boyfriend ))


    after ewen left his car, things went on as they usually did. he met up with his friends, went to his classes, just followed his normal schedule really. he found himself checking his phone more often, hoping to see a text from ewen and trying not to look too disappointed when he didn’t see any, but overall it was just a normal day.


    he had been walking through the halls, happy that the day was getting closer and closer to ending so he could finally see ewen again, when he felt someone grab him and start dragging him somewhere. normally anyone else would have reacted, but he was so used to his friends grabbing him and dragging him along whenever they saw a cute girl or wanted to do something dumb, that he just figured it was one of those instances. it was only when he found himself in a dark room, pinned up against the wall that he started to panic, heart racing in his chest and ready to fight whoever decided that this was a good idea.


    but as soon as the lights were turned on, he saw ewen and let out the biggest sigh of relief. he listened carefully to him, wondering why he would just drag him into, into a supply closet from what he could tell from his quick glance around, in the middle of the day when anyone could have seen them. when he heard that the whole reason for it was just because he wanted to kiss him, he smiled just before ewen kissed him, and of course he kissed him back. it was cute. the idea that ewen just couldn’t wait anymore and did something like this just to kiss him. it felt like something out of a cheesy romance movie, and it was perfect.


    he snaked his arms around ewen’s waist, the smile still on his face as he pulled away from the kiss. “you’re so cute.” he kissed his forehead, looking down at him. “you really missed me and my kisses that much?” he kissed him again, wanting to kiss ewen until the bell rang and made them rush to get to their classes in time. as he pulled away he noticed that ewen was standing on his toes, the reminder that ewen was so much shorter than him made his heart pound. his tiny adorable boyfriend, that’s what ewen would always be.


    “you’re so tiny.” he whispered, hoping that ewen didn’t take it offensively. he knew being called short never really have positive connotation behind it, but he thought that ewen being short was the cutest thing ever. he loved being so much taller than him, the idea that he could protect ewen was just perfect. he could get things for ewen that he couldn’t reach, he could hold ewen, he could make ewen so cute little things like stand on his toes. everything about ewen just screamed cute. “it’s cute. you’re cute.”


    he knew that ewen didn’t like being called cute. why he didn’t like it, he didn’t know. maybe ewen even hated it, but he hoped he could get away with it. just like how ewen could see him in his glasses and even tease him about it, ewen would be the only person who could do that and get away with it; he even made him love the idea of wearing his glasses around ewen all the time just so he could hear ewen talk about it. maybe ewen purposefully acted extra cute around him so he would be called cute, maybe he actually like him calling him cute.



    ( eunjae acting like a tough boyfriend and squaring up against any ghosts that try to scare ewen and then ewen screaming at everything and giggling like a child

    also, i need there to be a moment where they're at ewen's house and they go downstairs to get some food and ewen tries to reach on a high shelf for a glass, and he can't reach it and eunjae just walks over and grabs it for him and ewen is just embarrassed out of his mind - )


    ewen felt himself blushing more by the second. this was rather embarrassing, the fact that he couldn't even wait two or three hours after being separated from his boyfriend for another kiss. upon being called cute again, ewen pouted and felt his face heat up, especially after remembering how he was holding onto eunjae's shirt to bring him closer to him. he didn't let go, though, probably because he didn't mind being called cute for that as much as being called cute for his height.


    which was next, as ewen heard. "i'm not tiny, it's just that you're huge. like a giraffe." he said, going back on his feet and looking up at eunjae to prove his point. "you know, if i was a girl, then i'd be of average height." that was true, his height was pretty average for a girl, but since he was a boy, his height was way below average. that wasn't what he came here to talk about, though, as he had made clear.


    "i really did miss you. i hate having to wait whole days to see you and i hate that even when i see you, i can't do anything because you're always with your friends." at this point, ewen was whining, though he didn't blame eunjae for being with his friends. he'd heard a lot that people usually put their relationship before their friendships, and apparently that was a bad thing. whatever it was, both eunjae and ewen had friends to keep up with, even if they wanted to spend entire days together.


    "and then when we're actually together, and alone, all i want to do is just kiss you and hold you forever." he said, clutching tighter on eunjae's shirt. "but we can't do that either." ewen let out a sigh. it was tiring, liking someone so much. "so, while we have the time, just kiss me for as long as we're together." after having said that, ewen went back on his toes, pulling eunjae down and kissing him again, but this time making it last a bit longer.

    (( we totally have to do that that’s hands down the cutest thing we’ve thought of for them so far

    eunjae is the type of person to put things he knows ewen will want on high shelves just so he could swoop in and be like oh here comes your tall boyfriend to save the day can i get a kiss as a thanks

    i timeskipped to the end of the day then, I hope that’s okay with you !! ))


    eunjae felt bad when ewen began pointing out that the only reason they couldn’t do stuff like this in the halls like everyone else or even just see eachother for more than a few minutes at a time on most days was just because of his friends. but before he could even think of anything to say to try and make ewen feel any better about the terrible truth, he was kissing him again. ewen really did miss him.


    so eunjae did as ewen wanted. he pulled him as close as possible and kissed him, only stopping once the bell rang and signaled the fact that they had to get back to class. with a few pecks on ewen’s lips and then a much softer one on his forehead, he bid his boyfriend goodbye, reminding him that he would meet him at his locker at the end of the day before rushing off to class.


    if the days normally passed by slowly with the idea that once the day was over he could see ewen, they were really dragging on forever now. maybe it was because of kissing him and seeing him in the middle of the day; it reminded him just how much he missed his boyfriend, how much he loved kissing him, and how he couldn’t stand being away from him for too long. but thankfully the day eventually ended, and eunjae found himself able to come up with some stupid excuse of why he wouldn’t be leaving the exact same time as his friends. he had to stay after class and talk to a teacher, simple. his friends knew about his parents wishes for him to be a doctor, they probably figured it was a conversation about that.


    once he was sure all his friends were long gone, he shut his locker and ran to the other side of the building where ewen’s locker was, silently cursing whoever chose what locker belonged to who on his way there. thankfully he was athletic and didn’t get tired easily from running long distances, but he knew if he was just any other kid he probably would have passed out in the middle of the hall before he could reach his beloved boyfriend.


    thankfully his long legs made it so it didn’t take too much time to reach the hall where ewen’s locker was, smiling once he saw him standing there. every time he saw him, it was if he had this light shining down on him, like he was an angel. and he was, he was his angel. he ran over to ewen, quickly wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “i missed you.” he mumbled against his soft skin, only pulling away when bending down to reach ewen’s face began to feel a bit uncomfortable. “so did you ask your mom if it’s cool if i come over or is it okay if i just show up?”


    finally getting to go over to ewen's house made him almost embarrassingly excited. getting to see his room, getting to meet his mom, and knowing he would probably stay for dinner with the excuse of ewen owing him a meal after he made him breakfast and lunch, it was all almost too much to handle. “you know we have to make out in your room, right? i mean, we already kissed in my room and my car. plus i can’t let some supply closet be the only place you’ve made out in, that’s just unacceptable for somebody as pretty as you.”

    ( eunjae kills me, seriously

    he's too cute

    and yeah, that's fine ! )


    maybe ewen had missed eunjae more than he reckoned. he had even gotten a little upset when it came time for them to go to their respective classes, but he tried not to let it show on his face just how badly he wanted to tell eunjae to forget about school and just spend time with him. even though he wanted to spend a lot of time with him, he remembered how eunjae said he was going to study to become a doctor. school was very important when it came to that kind of study, so, no matter how much ewen tried to convince himself otherwise, school was more important for eunjae than him.


    he had spent the rest of the day pouting quite obviously, though he used the excuse of his father having come over and gotten into a fight with his mother to get out of explaining the real situation to youngmin and sunhee. he'd texted his mother that a friend was coming over to their house, and his mother texted him back slightly upset, since she wanted to talk to him about his sudden leaving the night before. he felt bad for ruining his mother's chance at having a real talk with him, but he tried to fix it by saying that they would have a talk after eunjae left. his mother wouldn't be back home until four or five pm, so ewen and eunjae had plenty of time to themselves in the house before they could meet his mother.


    by the end of the day, he was at his locker, putting things back that he didn't need and checking that everything in his backpack was neatly organized and in its place. once he had gotten everything he needed, he closed his locker and checked the time. right as he was thinking that eunjae should be here at any moment, he felt hands wrap around his waist and lips against his cheek. he knew immediately who it was, so he wasn't really worried about that. he turned to look at eunjae with possibly the stupidest smile he'd ever mustered.


    "my mom said it's okay for you to come over. and she won't be back until, like five, so we have time alone." he said, poking eunjae with a small grin. once he heard what eunjae had to say next, he felt himself blush a little bit. it was like eunjae knew just the right thing to say to him to get his cheeks rosy. "well, we've got plenty of time to make out in my room before my mom gets home, so, yeah." he said, grinning once more. he slipped out of eunjae's hold, much to his own dismay, and turned towards where the parking lot was. "should we go with your car?"

    (( this is rushed, sorry for it being so short! ))


    upon hearing how ewen’s mom wouldn’t be back for some time, eunjae couldn’t help but grin. they were really going to be alone, left to do whatever they wanted. and if ewen really wanted to make out in his bedroom, that’s exactly what they were going to do, and eunjae wasn’t going to argue with an idea as good as that.


    when ewen turned towards the parking lot and started talking, he quickly nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him along to his car. “the longer we stand here and talk the less time we have before your mom gets home.” when they reached his car, he helped ewen get in before getting in himself. once he was sure that both of them were buckled and ready to go, he headed towards ewen’s house.


    once they arrived, he parked his car and hopped out, going to the passenger side to open the door for ewen. once the door was open, he held his hand out. “i really wanted to hold your hand again.” he admitted with a smile. truthfully, he enjoyed the feeling of ewen’s small hand in his much larger one, his skin was so soft and their hands fit together like they were made just to hold one another. “alright,” he started, looking at ewen’s house. “lead the way.”

    ( it's okay ! )


    when they got to ewen's house, ewen wanted to make sure he took hold of eunjae's hand, but, luckily, the taller male beat him to it. ewen got out of the car, quickly tightening his hold on eunjae's hand and leading him to the front door. he unlocked the door and slowly opened it, checking to see if his mom had come home early or something. when he saw no one in the house, he smiled and turned towards eunjae, a smile on his face. "it's really just us." he said, grinning widely before turning back around and leading eunjae up the stairs to his bedroom.


    ewen's bedroom was pretty much the only room upstairs, apart from the bathroom. his house was rather small, it was just him and his mother, after all. ewen led eunjae into his bedroom before closing the door behind him, turning back around to take a look if anything needed to be quickly fixed or something. his room was relatively big, despite being in a small upstairs. there was nothing really to note, apart from the closet that he always left open with clothes strewn about. he really wasn't the kind of person to organize his closet. it was all the same pieces of clothing, anyway, so he knew where to find everything.


    he had a little desk that he kept his laptop and several small succulents on. his mother agreed to let him get plants to fill the empty hole that a pet was supposed to fill. the most interesting thing about ewen's room, probably, was the big bookcase in one corner of the room, which was filled with nothing but manga. ewen realized that eunjae probably thought of him as some kind of deep literature reader, so seeing a bookcase filled with mostly manga was probably quite embarrassing. he hoped eunjae was too focused on him to notice that, though.


    ewen turned towards eunjae and took hold of both of his hands, leading him over to the bed that was in the middle of the room and turning him around so he could sit on the bed. "sit." he said, climbing onto eunjae's lap as soon as he sat down. "it's nothing special, i don't really spend much time on it, but it's nice." he hoped that eunjae liked the minimal design ewen had set for it. he wasn't sure if he preferred minimal decorating to more elaborate decorating, but he at least hoped he didn't hate it.

    eunjae followed ewen into his house, up the stairs, and into his room, never once letting go of his hand. he quickly obeyed his orders and sat on his bed, grinning widely when he sat on his lap. he quickly placed his hands on ewen’s hips to make sure he didn’t fall, and although it was a small and purely innocent gesture, it still made him blush a bit. he could only hope that ewen didn’t see, and if he did, that he wouldn’t comment on it.


    it only took him a quick glance around to realize how different the two of them were. it was a bit surprising really, how even if they were rather different, they still seemed to fit together perfectly. maybe it was the fact that they war such opposites that made them compliment one another so much. it was little things that were different about them, things that they couldn’t really help; like ewen being short for his biology and eunjae being rather tall, eunjae being arguably the most popular kid and ewen being just another face in the halls to a lot of students, things like that. then there were things about them that were different just because of personal tastes, like how ewen’s walls were essentially bare and now his were covered in posters, now ewen had a bookshelf full of manga and he had a bookshelf full of video games, how ewen had plants while he had a cat; it was little things like that, their personal tastes. they were different, yet they somehow seemed perfect together.


    he had been taking a good look around the room when ewen began speaking, nodding in agreement with his words. “it is nice. it’s just like what i pictured your room looking like.” he thought of ewen as someone who would like simple things, which the minimalism of the room had proven to him that he was right. he also had the feeling that he would be rather neat, not having everything perfectly in place, but still neat. the overall clean and homey feeling but still the bit of unorganization, like how he clothes in his closet weren’t organized in any particular pattern, showed him that he was right about him too. he also knew that ewen was a reader, so when he spotted a bookshelf, he wasn’t too surprised. but what was on the shelf is what surprised him, he took ewen as someone who read long, boring, sophisticated novels that were written by pretentious old guys, but he was very surprised to see that the shelf was pretty much all manga. it was cute, and eunjae would be sure to bring it up later.


    but for now, his focus was entirely on ewen. “i know you said your mom won’t be home for a while yet, but i don’t want to waste any time that i could be kissing you.” he pulled him a bit closer by his waist, pressing his lips against his. after a few more smaller pecks, he pulled away smiling. “i know this is so weird, and i was thinking it when we first kissed, and i really didn’t want to say it because you’re probably going to laugh at me and i’ll die of embarrassment, but your lips they’re just so...” he trailed off for a moment, kissing him once more to try and think of how to correctly word what he wanted to say. “they’re soft and they taste good, like really sweet for some reason.” he felt his cheeks starting to turn red, a dumb laugh leaving his lips. “is it like chapstick or something?” his voice was softer now, caused by his embarrassment. suddenly, without thinking, he started talking again. “you know, all my friends always talk about how when you kiss with, with tongue i guess is how to describe it, it’s the best thing in the world and i was thinking in the car, about how if your lips are like, sugary sweet, how everything else would be and-” suddenly his eyes widened and he let out an embarrassed sound, which just embarrassed him even more. “i am so weird just leave me here to die. please.”






    in the middle of eunjae looking around his room, ewen had snaked his arms around his neck, readjusting himself so that he would be comfortable in his lap. he'd noticed eunjae's blush after he'd put his hands on his hips, and if ewen didn't know any better, he'd say he was thinking about the very thing he'd made fun of ewen for thinking about. he decided not to dote on it, though. he really felt like he couldn't wait a second longer for a kiss, so when eunjae kissed him, he felt like he was drinking water for the first time after a long day in the sun. it was almost addictive, his kisses. ewen had never known what youngmin was talking about when he said kisses were great, but now he knew. they really were great.


    he didn't want to waste any time before his mom got there, either. if he could, he would just be kissing eunjae the entire time they were together. however, as the other male pulled away, ewen felt himself grow a bit disappointed, but that disappointment soon fled once he heard what eunjae wanted to say. what he was saying about his lips made him blush. ewen hadn't really noticed anything particular about the taste of eunjae's lips, mostly that he just liked kissing them. "yeah, chapstick." he said, rather quietly. ewen liked to wear chapstick a lot, his lips were really dry otherwise.


    what eunjae said about kissing with tongue made him blush even more. kissing with tongue was a bit more intimate, which made ewen rather nervous, to be honest. not because he wasn't ready for it, but because it was with eunjae. even making out in the closet made ewen really nervous. "do you want to, um," ewen felt himself blush even more at the question he was going to ask. "try it?" he felt even more embarrassed after asking that question, though he could tell eunjae was probably just as embarrassed saying it. ewen had literally no experience with kissing with tongue, youngmin had given him quite a bit of advice on it, since it was more intimate, but ewen hadn't listened to half of it. if eunjae wanted to try it, he could only hope he would do well.

    eunjae silently nodded, and then not even a second later he shook his head. “yeah, but, i don’t know.” he buried his face in ewen’s shoulder, hoping that the redness of his face would fade and that the embarrassing feeling that he had was replaced with something else, something much nicer, just from being so close to ewen. “i don’t really know how.” it was one thing to just kiss, ewen kissed him first and he had enough confidence in himself to just copy whatever ewen did and it seemed to work so far. but something like that? he had absolutely no idea how to go about it, how to make it enjoyable and not feel so gross.


    “and doesn’t it sound a little gross? i mean, not with you, you make everything sound nice but just the name of it. with tongue, doesn’t that sound just a little gross to you?” it really wasn’t the idea of doing something like that with ewen that made it gross, in fact the idea of doing it with ewen made it seem nicer, but just thinking about it made him feel weird; and if he really didn’t go about things the right way, then it would turn disgusting before either of them knew it. he didn’t want to give ewen a terrible kiss or make him feel gross and weird. “and what about you? do you actually want to try it or are you just saying we can do it just because i mentioned it?” he didn’t want to do something to or with ewen that he really didn’t want to do, he knew how sometimes people could just say yes to things even if they want to say no, all because they’re afraid of losing a person or something like that.


    if eunjae totally hadn’t spaced out before he wouldn’t have ever mentioned it, not so soon anyways. it seemed more intimate, and he was ready to move along as fast as ewen wanted in their relationship, but he had no idea if ewen wanted to take it slow or not. and it really did just start out as an idea in his head from all the things his friends told him about them kissing girls, he never really meant to give voice to the things his friends put in his head. but if ewen really wanted to try it, he would. and he probably wouldn’t be so embarrassed about it. if ewen didn’t want to try it? then his embarrassment would linger for a little longer but he would feel good knowing that ewen knew he could turn down his ideas.


    “if you want to then we can, but if you don’t want to then we don’t have to. we don’t ever have to if you don’t ever want it or we can wait as long as you want. i don’t want you doing things you don’t want to do.” he finally pulled his face away from ewen’s shoulder so he could look at his face again. “if you say that you want to, you gotta tell me something weird that you think about too, okay? it’s only fair.” he let out a half real, half forced laugh, trying to calm himself, after how tense he had gotten.



    to be quite honest, the idea of kissing with tongue sounded weird to him when youngmin had talked to him about it. maybe it was because he always described it with girls, but now that eunjae was talking about it, it sounded less weird. he was willing to try a lot of things with eunjae, no matter how much embarrassed it made him feel or how much it made him blush. that was probably because he really liked eunjae, and he was a pretty open person generally. with books, with tv, with music, he was always really open to being diverse about it. that was possibly why he was so open to trying new things with eunjae.


    if eunjae didn't feel like he was ready, though, that was completely fine. obviously, ewen wouldn't try to force him into doing anything he wasn't comfortable doing, especially if he just wasn't ready for it. ewen appreciated that he was asking for consent first before actually doing it, instead of assuming that ewen was open for it. he probably should have done the same thing the first time they kissed, even if it turned out to become a good thing that turned out well. at least he was learning to do things like that, instead of just assuming that everything would turn out well.


    "i'm willing to try it." he said, playing with his hands behind eunjae's head and looking down at eunjae's chest. "but if you don't want to, we don't have to." ewen wasn't really nervous about himself, he was nervous that eunjae would think that he was trying to convince him to do it. he didn't know whether eunjae wanted to take things slow or not, personally, ewen didn't really care. if they moved "too fast," then what would it really do? ewen, at the end of the day, would still be interested in eunjae, no matter what. although, their relationship was a two-way street, so that meant that it mattered, even if only one of them had that opinion.


    "eunjae, i really don't mind doing this right now." he began, looking up to actually look at eunjae's face as the other male looked back up at him. "i think that i'm ready to try things like this, but if you're not ready, then we don't have to do it." he offered the male a small, reassuring smile. he let out a small chuckle at what he said next. "you already know. if anything, this is payback for me for last night." he meant the whole thing about sex and all that. if eunjae was embarrassed about this, then he could only imagine how ewen had felt about that whole debacle the other night.

    eunjae let out a little sigh of relief when ewen confirmed that he was willing to try it. it felt like a huge relief knowing that he wasn’t essentially forcing ewen into anything. it was also really nice that ewen was saying the same thing as him, if one of them didn’t want to do something then they didn’t have to do it. both of them had to be consenting for anything to even be enjoyable.


    when ewen said that this was all payback for last night, he felt his cheeks heat up again. just after they had went back to their normal color and he thought he was done being embarrassed, ewen had to bring up the whole sex conversation again. “shut up!” he laughed, trying to look anywhere but at ewen. “that’s different and you know it! when you’re embarrassed you at least look cute, like a little tiny cherry tomato, when i’m embarrassed it’s the total opposite!” ewen being embarrassed wasn’t enjoyable for him or anything, he actually felt really bad whenever he was embarrassed, but eunjae being eunjae, he just had to argue about how him being embarrassed over a kiss and ewen being embarrassed over sex were different. in reality, ewen was probably much more embarrassed, but eunjae was too stubborn to ever admit that.


    “unless, are you hinting at the fact that when you brought up sex last night, that it was something that you want to try?” he nudged him softly as he teased him, a soft laugh leaving his lips. “you’re really into moving fast in relationships, huh? we just had our first kiss and you’re already ready to have sex? man, and here i thought you were innocent.” once he felt that he was done teasing ewen for the same thing yet again, he placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “it’s okay, it was cute. how fast your mind went from innocently thinking about a kiss to that, I thought it was cute.” eunjae thought everything about ewen and everything he did was cute, but he hoped ewen wouldn’t call him out on that. not so soon anyways.


    he knew that he had spent enough time avoiding the topic at hand, and that they were running out of the time they had alone, so he just decided to get on with it. “if this is horrible, i never want to mention it again, okay? if this turns out really bad and you ever bring it up, i can’t promise that i won’t kill you, okay?” the idea of having a bad kiss with ewen was already terrifying enough, but the idea of ewen teasing him about it was probably the most embarrassing thing that he could think of.


    without wasting any more time, he tightened his grip on ewen’s hips, pulling him closer again. he wanted to tell him that he was pretty, but he knew if he took another second or tried to talk, all his confidence and will to try it right now would be lost. he carefully pressed his lips against ewen’s, hoping as much as one possibly could, that things would go okay. that it would be enjoyable and ewen would want to try something like this again. it started off like a normal kiss, and it was supposed to, right? at least from what he heard his friends talking about. he really wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t know how to kiss someone like that, most of his learning about romantic relationships came from his friends, and seeing how long their relationships lasted made him take all of their words with a grain of salt. before he knew it or could think too much into the things his friends said, his tongue was added in the equation, he never wanted to open his eyes so badly, he just wanted to see if ewen was enjoying it.




    when eunjae became embarrassed once more because of what ewen brought up, he couldn't help but laugh. "you're totally cute when you're embarrassed! you're like pikachu, totally cute." it went both ways. eunjae thought ewen was cute, and ewen thought eunjae was cute. neither of them seemed to like the other calling him cute, but the two of them did it anyway. as much as ewen didn't like being called cute, he liked calling eunjae cute, and if being called cute is what he had to deal with in order to be able to call eunjae cute, he would deal with that.


    however, right when he thought he was going to enjoy this, the tables were turned on him and ewen was completely embarrassed again. "shut up!" now it was ewen's turn to say that. "that's not what i meant!" ewen was back to pouting. it seemed bringing that up again embarrassed him more than it embarrassed eunjae, which was not at all what ewen had intended. it was supposed to make eunjae let go of the whole 'admitting a weird thing he thought about,' but it had ended up just being turned on him again. eunjae seemed to think it was cute, though, so that was enough for ewen to convince himself to just deal with it.


    he wanted to pout and be mad at eunjae again, just to get him to apologize, not because he was actually mad, but he decided that it wasn't worth it if it was going to ruin their moment right now. soon enough, eunjae moved on to the topic at hand, which ewen felt himself smile at. he was ready, eunjae seemed like he was ready, so that meant they could go on with it. he giggled slightly at eunjae's comment about never mentioning it if it was bad, but ewen couldn't really promise that. "i won't tease you as bad if it's terrible." he said before he felt eunjae pull him closer.


    soon enough, they were kissing and ewen couldn't help but smile a lot. he was glad that they were becoming more comfortable with each other, enough to talk about things like this and actually do them. he remembered when he was barely able to approach eunjae, when he was too nervous to actually talk to him and couldn't even talk to him without blushing. now, here he was, in the lap of his crush of four years, kissing him. ewen would have loved to talk to someone about this, but unfortunately, their situation called for absolute secrecy.


    when tongue was added, ewen felt himself smile even more. he was really into it, even if eunjae was doing it wrong, or both of them were doing it wrong. he tried to apply some of the things that he'd heard youngmin talk about, though he wasn't sure how that applied to the situation if ewen's partner was a boy. he also started running his hands through eunjae's hair, wrapping his other arm all the way around eunjae's neck. this went on for a moment before ewen slowly pulled away, letting out a small giggle as he did. "i liked it." he said quietly, grinning as he looked into eunjae's eyes. "you're better at this than you seem to think."