NEVER FORGET YOU // open, coming back c;

daisypaw never wanted to see a riverclan cat again. not because she didn’t like them—quite the opposite. but after she left them for skyclan, she felt too ashamed to show her face again. she would rather them think her dead than a traitor. and she wasn’t a traitor! she wouldn’t reveal riverclan’s secrets for anything, and if skyclan ever had to fight against her previous clan, she doubted she could lay a claw on anyone. that was why, when she noticed the river rising to dangerous levels, her love for her ex-clanmates trumped the shame she felt from leaving them. she was back, and she was here to help.

she made it across the stepping stones with practiced ease, but wasn’t sure where to go from there. should she return to camp? it wasn’t like she’d forgotten the way back there. but how would the riverclanners react to seeing her here again? the cream apprentice decided to compromise and headed partway into the territory, keeping a lookout for anyone she recognized.

she wasn't sure why, but the notion of a small kitten saying the word "fuck" was balls to the walls hilarious to daisypaw. the cream apprentice tried to hold in most of the laughter, but some of it spilled out anyway. amusement that hadn't glittered in her eyes for quite some time made its return, and she smiled at the little one. "oh, you know...places," she answered vaguely, still embarrassed at what she'd done. it wasn't like this kit would understand, anyway. all falukit needed to know was that yes! she was coming home.

"what're you doing all the way out here? let's get you back to camp, c'mon," she mewed cheerfully, padding forward and signaling with her tail for falukit to follow her. a motherly instinct was never something daisypaw had, probably since her own mother wasn't so gentle with her. maybe she should've picked the kit up and taken her home, but daisypaw was too lazy to make such an effort. falukit had four legs, right? she could walk.

//rip everyone daisy was friends with is captured or dead

her ears swiveled towards a familiar voice, and a smile lit up her eyes as she saw an old denmate. "hey ryepaw!" she greeted. "i'm dope, how're you?" of course, when one has depression, one can never truly feel "dope." but it was one of daisypaw's favorite words, and seeing her old clanmates again after so long did make her feel more cheerful than usual. she was surprised; she was sure she'd be overcome with guilt and shame if she ever saw a riverclanner again. but upon seeing falukit, and then ryepaw, she was genuinely, truly happy. she couldn't wait to see the others! "where's chasingpaw and ashpaw?" she asked. she hoped her other denmates were doing well.

“aha...you’re joking.” no, he wasn’t. daisypaw believed him. the look on his face—he was laughing it off but she recognized the pain hiding behind cold eyes. who would joke about such things, anyway? chasingpaw captured, ashpaw..dead. daisypaw’s head swirled. someone so young, so full of life...she didn’t deserve this! if only daisypaw had stayed, she might’ve been able to do something.

no! no time for regrets. she was here now, and that was all that mattered. the former riverclanner took a deep breath, wondering if she should even bother asking about her other clanmates.

“how could you laugh about her dying?” flamekit’s words erased any doubts daisypaw may have had about her friend’s passing. if a kit, so simple-minded and pure, could attest to what had happened, it must be true. her question wasn’t one that was easily answered, either. daisypaw knew where ryepaw was coming from; it was easier to laugh about things than bear the burden of taking them seriously. daisypaw had done it her whole life, pretended nothing could affect her. it was as much a defense against herself as it was against others’ judgment. but a kit couldn’t possibly understand that, and daisypaw couldn’t put the feeling into words. she had to admit it was chilling though, the frigidity in ryepaw’s tone. what happened while i was gone?

“and ravensong? gladefall? what about them? are you—the flood, it’s bad, isn’t it?” what if riverclan as she knew it was no more? this was all her fault, she shouldn’t have left!