oh, the things we do in the name of love

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa blinked, lifting her gaze to Eria. She smiled softly at the woman as she placed her hand on her own. She was glad to see that Eria was there to comfort her, not to judge her. They had moved past the war between their countries and now, they shared friendships with one another. Virysa never imagined she fall in love with the Prince of the kingdom who she had feared since she was a girl. Yet here she was. And some of her best friends were from Narius as well. This engagement had brought death and war but it had also brought her happiness and love. She wasn't sure if one was worth the other but she figured if the rest of the world wanted to tear them apart, all the more reason to remain strong. Virysa looked to Eria with a gentle gaze as she spoke her name, wanting to comfort her. She blinked at the thought, lifting her chin. As much as she wished it could, comfort could not bring her mother back. It could not bring Raul's father back. But she liked to believe that they would all reunite in the afterlife. Virysa felt all eyes on her and she had the sudden urge to run from the tent. To keep on running and running until she reached the forest. And then to keep on running, just wanting to be free. To not be Virysa Hooren anymore. To just... be. Virysa sighed softly, knowing it could never be more than a dream. And then Eria spoke Raul's name and her icy gaze shifted to her lover. It was a hard subject for the two of them, which was understandable. Virysa and Raul rarely ever spoke about that day. Only mentioning it once and then dismissing it, like one would with a bitter memory. The small laugh that fell from Eria's lips made her turn her gaze to the woman. She narrowed her eyes slightly, not understanding why she would laugh. and then her own head began to feel fuzzy. The pastries. She blinked, her eyes slowly brightening. Eria tried to speak but she was thrown into a fit of giggles. Virysa smiled brightly at the sight, feeling her body buzzing with joy. She felt the herb hit her hard and she hummed lazily, a goofy grin on her face. The air began to soften and the light around them seemed brighter. She sighed, looking around at all of the colors became vibrant once more. She tilted her head back, her white curls falling onto her back. Eria and Raul erupted into a fit of giggled and the white haired beauty smiled brightly, crawling closer as she sat on her knees.

Kendrick's hand grabbed hers and she turned her head, her head spinning. She smiled a goofy smile at her fiance as she felt weightless. Every color seemed more vibrant than the last and she felt her heart pounding against her chest. She felt as if she was moving in slow motion and a goofy laugh left her lips. She felt Kendrick squeeze her hand and she looked at him with loving eyes. Virysa then turned to Raul as he spoke, asking her truth or dare. She smiled ear to ear and pulled her white curls to the side. "Dare." Virysa answered, a playful smirk on her lips. And then Raul's dare made her eyes widen. She giggled happily, throwing her head back. Her head spun and she nearly fell over. She snickered. She saw the shocked look on her fiance's face as she eyed him. and then she eyed Raul. Her eyes rested on Eria as she looked at the Princess, as if asking her if it was alright. The young beauty nodded her head and stood quickly. She strided over to Eria and grabbed her hands in her own, lifting Eria from the ground. Virysa looked deeply into Eria's eyes, a blush rising to her cheeks. She blinked, her heart thundering against her chest. She gently leaned in, her delicate hands brushing Eria's curls from her shoulder and cupped her face in her own. She leaned in gently and closed her eyes. Their lips pressed against one another and she felt her heart swell. At first, the kiss was soft, tender. Virysa then melted into the kiss, deepening the kiss as she pulled Eria closer. She pulled away a few seconds later, not wanting to push Eria. She looked deeply into Eria's eyes, their faces inches apart. Virysa felt her body tingle.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa giggled as she followed Eria as she weaved them through the crowd. She felt her body begin to wear off the high and her body began to grow sore. But she quickly pushed this to the side as she followed Eria, holding tightly to her hand. She looked up, seeing the night sky change to show signs of the sunrise. She knew they would be able to sleep after dawn but she also knew she would be returning home for a small trip that would last a few days. She was sure she would sleep in the carriage and she would be able to catch up on her sleep since it was such a long trip. She giggled softly and walked into the castle as they made it. She looked around, their footsteps seeming to echoing off of the halls. She blinked. She had never seen the castle so empty but she had supposed that was because of everyone being in the markets for the celebration. Eria then grabbed both of her hands and the Princess turned her icy blue eyes to her friend. Eria kissed her cheek, a sweet farewell. A soft blush rose to her cheeks and she nodded. She looked to Raul and she inhaled, feeling as if her heart stopped in her chest. Maybe in another life they could truly be together. She prayed for that other life. She wanted Raul forever. He was her first love. She would always love him, no matter who she married. She then felt Kendrick grab her hand and she turned to him with a bright smile. She imagined he was incredibly nervous about singing in front of his people but she liked to think he would do amazing. She had never heard him sing but she imagined he would do amazing. Virysa giggled as her fiance lead her up the stairs and they held hands the entire way, up the winding stairs. She loved Kendrick. As deeply as she loved Raul. Which is what made this so hard. She loved them both equally and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with the both of them but she knew she could never be so selfish. She inhaled deeply and looked to Kendrick as he squeezed her hand. She smiled softly at him, almost seeming to reassure him in a way. She then walked out onto the balcony at his side, her white curls dancing in the breeze and she sighed softly. Virysa blinked and smiled at the Holy Sisters, her smile warm and kind. She slightly curtsied, not sure what else to do. His customs were still so alien to her at times. She did the same for the priest and she gently brushed her curls over her shoulder as she looked out and down at the crowd. Her breath hitched in her throat and her blood ran cold. She never realized she was afraid of heights but in this moment, she felt the panic rise. But she kept her cool, trying to keep the nausea down.

Virysa then looked to her fiance as he nodded and the music began to play. She clasped her hands in front of her and slightly pinched at her palms as she tried to calm her racing heart and the queasy feeling in her stomach. She blinked, looking around in wonderment as Kendrick began to sing. And then the priest and the people down below. It was strangely beautiful, she thought. She had never heard of such music back home and it felt odd. But she welcomed it, knowing how they would have to combined their cultures. She then saw Kendrick reach his hand out for her and she gasped slightly. She stepped forward cautiously and dared not to look down. She held his hand tightly, feeling as if he would stop her from falling. She looked up at him with uncertainty but then she just began to hum. She had a melodic voice, despite just humming. Her mother had insisted that she sing like a songbird when she was younger and luckily, it had paid off. And then the singing stopped. The music stopped. Virysa held her breath and squeezed her fiance's hand and she gulped thickly. And then the priest placed a grown on Kendrick's head and then her own. She sighed softly, her heart racing. She had been a Princess all her life. The reality that she would become Queen soon hit her all at once and tears welled in her eyes. She looked up at the fading stars, silently praying to the Old Gods that her mother was proud of her. The priest then began to say his prayer and Virysa lowered her gaze, her icy eyes filled with tears. She had a sinking feeling in her heart and she could not place it. She then blinked when Kendrick pulled her away and they were now standing before the priest. He then moved smoking herbs around the couple and spoke the words 'Blessed Be'. Virysa smiled softly and softly returned the words as Kendrick had. She then let he fiance lead her away and they walked back down the winding stairs and they stopped in the hall as Kendrick turned to her. She looked at him with a soft gaze and a small smile curled into her lips. "You did fantastic, my love." Virysa spoke kindly as she reached up and gently caressed his cheekbone with her thumb. She still was unable to shake that knowing feeling, like something terrible was to happen.

*:･ﾟ✦ The Princess woke with a jolt as she heard a rough knocking in the heavy doors to her chambers. She sighed, feeling her head beginning to pound. She looked around, seeing the entanglement of bodies in her bed. She began to panic first before she began to recognize them. She was laying on her side, facing Kendrick. He had a protective arm around the middle of her back and she felt another arm around her. She peaked behind her and saw Raul was curled up against her back, his arm wrapped around her waist. Eria was on the other side of Raul, her back to Raul and curled slightly into herself. She blinked, her memories of the night before hazy and strange. Another rasp on her chamber doors caused her to grumble. She untangled herself from the two men she loved and crawled out of the bed, less gracious that usual. She stumbled, not realizing her reason for being so off balance. Pregnancy could do that to a woman. She then rubbed her throbbing head as she approached her chamber door, still wearing her red gown from the night before. She pulled open her chamber door and she winced slightly at the bright light, showing it was well into the afternoon at this point. She grimaced and turned her gaze up to the guard at her door. He apologized for disturbing her but said that her carriage was ready. She nodded and thanked him before she closed the door. She turned to the heap of people on her bed, seeing them begin to stir. She shuffled over to her fiance and gently shook him. He woke with a soft groan and she smiled faintly down at him. "The carriage is ready. We have to get ready." Virysa said with a yawn. Kendrick seemed to wake slowly and he sat up. Everyone began to wake and stir, yawning and stretching their sore bodies out. Virysa walked over to her vanity and began to brush her tangled hair and she noticed all the marks all over her. She groaned and nearly face palmed, knowing she would have to cover them up somehow. Her father would have a heart attack if he saw such a thing. Memories of the night before slowly began to come to her and she nearly snickered at the thought. She looked in her mirror as Kendrick walked up to her. He kissed her cheek before leaving her chambers. She then turned her gaze to Raul and he gave her a small smile before he bowed and then left the chambers. Virysa stood and began to wash off her makeup from the night before with a damp towel and sighed. She then turned to Eria as she walked up to her. Eria seemed nervous and Virysa frowned at the sight. "What is it, Eria?" Virysa asked softly.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa was glad to hear Eria's advice on how to cover up the marks. She blinked and picked up the small box of power, almost seeming to examine it. She knew she would have to bathe and wash her hair before she put it on but it was comforting to know she would not give her father a heart attack. He had enough on his mind without worrying about his daughter. She smiled softly at the thought of her father and she continued to brush through her messy hair. She then looked at Eria in the mirror as she stood behind her chair with a... worried expression on her face. She frowned slightly and their eyes met for a moment. What was weighing on Eria's mind so heavily? She heard Eria begin to call her by her name but then fixed herself and called her by her title. Her brows furrowed further and her heart skipped a beat. What was so terrible that she was having such a hard time saying it? Virysa watched Eria with concern in her eyes and then watched as she moved to stand beside her. Eria told her that it probably wasn't her place to say these things and the words she spoke made her frown deeper. She felt her heart thundering against her chest and she gripped the brush that now rested in her lap tightly. And then Eria's next words made her blood run cold. She let her mouth fall open slightly and she felt her heart stop. Her gaze lowered from Eria's and the frown deepened on her features. She was pregnant? No, how could this be possible? And then she remembered. Her birthday had been a little over a month ago, when she and Raul made love for the first time. He had been so worried about getting her pregnant and here she was, pregnant with his child. Her hand shakily rested on her slightly swollen stomach and tears brimmed her icy blue eyes. She gulped thickly and she frowned, her eyes seeming to search her own memories. She remembered that night vividly. She had become Raul's when he gave her his mother's ring and now she was having his child. But how could she? What if the child looked more like Raul than her and it was obvious who was the father? That Kendrick wasn't the father but her personal guard was. She began to pant softly, the panic rising in her body.

"Wait, how can you be sure?" Virysa spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. She looked up to Eria with tears in her eyes. She set her brush down on her vanity as she stood. She brushed out her dress and set both of her hands down on her swollen stomach. She began to pant heavily, the panic clear in her eyes. The baby wasn't her fiance's and she had no idea how he would react to such a thing. Despite everything, she would protect Raul and his baby with all of her heart and soul. She was to be Queen, after all. She felt a tear run down her cheek and she exhaled shakily. "Take me to the infirmary. I have to know for sure." Virysa panted and she looked to Eria and the fear sparkled in her blue eyes.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa heard ringing in her ears as everything hit her all at once. She was already a target for assassinations as the past few months had shown. She was always in danger and she imagined she would always be. This child, was in danger much more so. This child was a bastard and would create a rift between the man that just became her official fiance the night before and her. She imagined all the horrible scenarios in her head. Would Kendrick kill Raul? Would he kill Raul and the baby? Or would he go into a blind rage and kill all three, Raul, the baby, and her? The fear seeped into her body like a virus and she felt the tears run down her cheeks. She could be killed, so could her child and the man she loved. All because she chose to follow her heart. She felt her bottom lip quiver as she panted softly. She had to tell Raul if she was carrying his child. She liked to imagine he would be happy about the child but would share the same fears as she had. The child would be a bastard and what if he looked like Raul? With his cooper toned skin and his raven black hair and his dark chocolate brown eyes. She imagined the child would look more like Raul and the thought terrified her. She had never meant to put Raul's life in danger like this, or their child's. She allowed Eria to help her stand and she felt the panic begin to fester into nausea. She groaned slightly and held her swollen stomach and gulped thickly. The nausea made her head spin but she locked elbows with Eria and walked with her nonetheless. She felt the panic begin to control her body as she shook, her icy eyes filled with tears. She wouldn't be this frightened if Kendrick had been the father. But she and Kendrick hadn't even made love yet. She knew for sure that the child was Raul's and she had no idea how her fiance would react to such news. She decided then, despite her panic and fear, that she would do anything to protect Raul and her child. Even if that meant running away with Raul and giving up her throne to protect the life inside of her. She couldn't lose Raul and this baby was a part of Raul. She wouldn't allow herself to lose the baby as well. She had lost too much. Virysa bit down on her cheek harshly and her fingers fidgeted as she tried to calm her racing heart. Eria's words caused her to look to her friend. She let out a shaky breath. She would like to believe her words but in this world, the only person she felt she could truly trust was Raul. He had been there all her life. He knew her better than anyone else did.

And then they arrived at the infirmary. Eria spoke and Virysa was almost frozen. She stared forward blankly as the thought of being with child weighed on her. She would be happy if she had become pregnant in other circumstances. She was pregnant with a bastard while her countries were at war with a much larger country and everyone who seeked to destroy this alliance tried to kill her. She was absolutely petrified. She let the doctor guide her into a separate room and she answered questions in a very monotone and shocked tone. She then asked the doctor to keep this news to herself and not to tell another living soul. The doctor agreed and then began the tests. Virysa laid on the bed with a tear streaming down her cheek as she squeezed her eyes shut. She was pregnant. With Raul's child. In the middle of a war with a shaky alliance. She exhaled slowly as the doctor confirmed the news. She was pregnant, the doctor had told her so. A little over a month. Just as she had expected. A soft cry escaped Virysa's lips and she curled her body into a ball. She cried for a few minutes before she walked out of the room. She turned toward Eria, her eyes red and puffy with tear stains on her cheeks. She cried softly and ran to her friend, pulling her into a hug, showing just how terrified she was. "They're going to come after me so much harder now. They are gonna kill my baby." Virysa sobbed into her friend's shoulder and she held her tightly. She felt her entire body shake. She jumped as a knock racked on the infirmary and she gulped thickly, stepping back a few steps. She placed protective hands on her stomach as she watched the doctor open the door. Raul stood there, rubbing his sore head and then his eyes met Virysa's tear filled eyes. She let out a sob.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa was shaking, the panic and fear clear on her beautiful features. She frowned deeply, trying to hold her hands still as she pulled from the embrace between Eria and her. She watched Eria go and her heart felt heavier in her chest. Her teary gaze lifted to Raul and he strode to be in front of her. She inhaled sharply and took half a step back, the fear clear as she averted his gaze. How would he react to the news? Would he dismiss her and never want anything to do with her? Would he be angry? Would he ask her to run away with him? She had no idea what his reaction would be and this terrified the young girl. For a moment, she wasn't a Princess. She wasn't Meurlen. She was just a nineteen year old girl, terrified of losing the man she loved and the baby she carried inside of her. In a perfect world, Raul would be happy to hear the news and they could run away together and leave everything behind. They could truly be themselves and truly be happy with one another. She whimpered slightly as his hands cupped her face and she looked up into his eyes. Her eyes searched his and her gaze showed that she was terrified. Assassins would be coming more once they learned the news and she had no idea how her fiance would take the news. She was sure he would feel betrayed and she knew he had every right to such feelings. She had agreed to marry him and then turned around and chose to love her personal guard and become pregnant with his child. Virysa let a sob fall from her lips as she lowered her head. He spoke her name and she shook her head, so afraid to speak the news out loud. If she spoke it out, it would be true. There would be no reversing anything once she told him. What if he chose Yvonne because he didn't want to be with Virysa because she was pregnant? She had no idea what kind of reaction he would have and that made her heart sink.

Raul's hand then lifted to wipe her cheek as he spoke again, asking her to tell him what was wrong. She sobbed once more, her body shaking violently. She shook her head and her brows formed into a deep frown. She exhaled shakily as tears ran down her cheeks. Her hands rested on her slightly swollen stomach as she finally decided to look up at the man she loved. Her bottom lip quivered and she searched his eyes, trying to search for some kind of reaction. "I'm with child.... your child...." Virysa spoke, her voice barely above a whisper as her entire body shook.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa saw his facial expression change as he seemed to try and register her words. She blinked, her body shaking as she watched him figure things out and the cogs turned behind his eyes. She felt the hot tears roll down his cheeks and his words made her brows furrow into a frown. He must've known she would not come to him with such information if she wasn't absolutely sure. That was why she had come to the infirmary before she had even thought of going to Raul. She slowly nodded, her brows relaxing slightly. His hands dropped from her face and she felt a shaky breath leave her lips. Was he going to refuse her and the baby? Would he chose Yvonne? Did he never want children with her? All of these thoughts swam through her mind all at once and made a scowl form on her ivory features. He spoke her name and began to trip over his won words and she stepped back, looking down. She shook her head as the tears fell to the floor. He didn't want her anymore. He didn't love her anymore. He didn't want to be a father, not to her children. She felt her bottom lip quiver and she panted softly. Her hands rested on her slightly swollen stomach. She would protect her baby, at all costs. Even if Raul chose someone else. Even if Kendrick wished her child dead. She would run, she would hide. She would love and cherish every moment she had with that child. She needed this child. It was a part of her, just as it was a part of Raul. Now and forever. Raul spoke up once more and she looked up at him, confusion clear in her beautiful features. His lips peppered her soft face and she erupted into giggled, unable to hide the joy she felt. Raul had accepted her, had accepted this pregnancy. And he was happy. They were going to have a child. He pulled her into him and she let herself fall into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his torso and held him close, crying softly into his chest. She was still so petrified of Kendrick and the possible assassins but at least she knew Raul was happy to be a father. He spoke of how they were going to have a baby and a soft sob left her lips as she clung to his shirt, feeling relieved that he had not lashed out at her.

Virysa then looked up at Raul with a shaky breath as he pulled from the embrace to wipe her tears. She gulped thickly and her eyes searched his. He then spoke that he would protect her and the baby at all costs. She exhaled shakily. He would protect the child no matter what, just as she would. She knew this would be extremely difficult and that there would be assassins and Kendrick would be furious. But she also knew if she needed to, she could run with Raul. They would protect their child, the one growing inside of Virysa. She placed her soft hands on her stomach with a soft cry. She looked down at the small bump and felt her heart swell at the thought. She would have a little version of Raul in her arms in a few months. The very thought made her smile. He pressed a kiss to her head and she sighed, closing her eyes. She let herself be pulled into his embrace and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. She continued to cry, she wasn't sure if it was from fear or joy anymore. She just felt all these emotions at once. He said he loved her and she let out a shaky breath as she hugged him tightly. "I love you, Little Leopard. More than you could ever know." The Princess whispered.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa looked up to her Raul as he gently caressed her wet cheeks with a soft smile on his lips. She gazed lovingly up at him and leaned into his touch with a soft sigh. She was very glad to see that he had a good response to the news. She then thought the happy thoughts any other mother would have thought instantly. Would the child be a girl or a boy? Would the child look more like her or more like Raul? If she were in better circumstances, she would wish for a boy. A mini version of Raul. She loved Raul and she knew that he would protect the life that they made together with all of himself. She felt joy in this moment, the fear slowly beginning to subside. Sure, she was still cautious and very much fearful but she knew Raul would protect her now. She knew she could always rely on him. The thought made her heart flutter. When Raul spoke about waiting to tell Kendrick, her eyes met his. She sniffled and nodded slowly. She knew he was right. She had no idea how Kendrick might react and she wanted to protect her child at all costs. She could never forgive herself if she lost this baby to underestimating the wrong person. She placed a protective hand on her stomach and nodded once more, this time more sure. She wanted Raul to know how much she already cared for their child but before she could, the door creaked open. She took half a step back quickly before she even saw who had walked in and removed her hands from her stomach. And then she saw it was Yvonne and she had to suppress the need to roll her eyes. The Princess felt that much more protective of Raul now that he was the father of her child and she had a feeling in her stomach about Yvonne. Something was... off about her. She didn't trust her, not one bit. Especially with the way she always had a snarky comment for her, who was going to be Queen soon. Even most Nomads know how to have respect for royalty. Virysa held back the snarl as she heard Yvonne's words and she narrowed her eyes bitterly at her tight smile. She was fake nice, and that bothered her. She figured if you're going to be mean, just come out and be mean. There's no point in trying to hide it. Virysa then saw the Yvonne looked at her and she narrowed her eyes, her eyes flashing to her feline state for a moment.

That woman had no room to judge her, she thought. She wanted Yvonne out of her life but she knew how important finding answers was for Raul. She clenched her jaw and a frown furrowed on her brows as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes seemed to dare Raul and that was when Virysa felt her lip curl in anger. She noticed Raul didn't rise to the bait and she nearly snickered. She watched as Yvonne left the room and a low growl left her lips, her eyes narrowed with venom. She then turned her eyes to her lover and her gaze softened. But her features made it clear she had been annoyed just by Yvonne's presence. Something about that woman got under her skin, like a spider. Virysa did not like it. Not one bit. At Raul's words, she nodded before placing a soft hand on her slightly swollen stomach. "Eria was the one who noticed it. And I trust Adeline with my life. But we are not telling that woman. And we are waiting to tell Kendrick, at least until after his coronation. He can't handle this kind of news right now. He might blow up and try to kill us both." Virysa spoke the last part in almost a bitter tone as a frown formed on her face. She sighed deeply and ran a hand through her hair. "Take me back to my chambers? I need to get ready." Virysa asked softly.

*:･ﾟ✦ Virysa blinked and rushed out of the door as Raul opened it for her. Her heels clicked against the cool stones and a deep frown furrowed on her brows. She had so much on her fragile mind. They were at war with Saeva but all she could think about was what Kendrick's reaction would be and if she would have to flee her home to protect her child. Her eyes welled with tears at the thought and she stepped quicker. She loved Kendrick, she'd be lying if she said she didn't. But men could be unpredictable. As could women but she feared his reaction above all. She inhaled deeply and when they arrived at her chamber door, she turned to face Raul. His gaze was hard and she understood why he was so hardened. She knew he was just as concerned as she was about protecting their child. Her hand rested on her stomach at his question. Do you trust him? Those words rang in her ear like a bell and her brows furrowed in thought. She knew who he was speaking of before he had even spoke his name. Kendrick. Her icy blue gaze turned to slits as tears welled in her eyes. She looked up at her lover with a clenched jaw and her eyes were clouded with emotions. She wanted to say she did. That she did trust him. But she also knew that if she trusted Kendrick fully, she would fear for her child's life like she did. She inhaled shakily and her gaze averted. She shook her head and a bitter laugh fell from her lips. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she came to terms with this fact. When it came down to it, as much as she loved Kendrick, he was a Nari. She was Muerlen. She would always protect her people if Kendrick chose to attack one of her people. She had no choice. She was to be their Queen and she would be, even without this alliance. She frowned deeply and when Raul pressed on an stepped forward, she raised her hand to push him back. She didn't like how he was acting. Sure, he was protecting her and their child but she didn't like the way he was coming off to her. She lifted her bitter gaze to his dark eyes and she clenched her jaw. His words hit her and made her stomach churn.

No, she did not trust her fiance. She thought she did but with the news of this child, everything was becoming new to her and this truly made her head spin. She pressed her hand to his chest and gently pushed him back, feeling very overwhelmed at the moment. She sighed and ran a stressed hand through her hair and she already felt the nausea hitting her. "No, okay?" Virysa answered bitterly as she chewed at her cheek from the inside. "I thought I could trust him but he can be unpredictable and who knows how he'll react to this." Virysa said in a low voice as she panted softly. She was obviously stressing herself out about this news coming to light. Like she had said, she thought she had been able to trust Kendrick. She did to some extent. But she knew he loved her and he would be hurt by this and hurt men have started wars and massacres over less. She thought more on this and the thoughts were clear in her icy eyes and she shakily exhaled. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she shook her head, looking away from Raul.