This couple of weeks he had spent alot of his time with Haiiro, having discovered that canine loved tea just as much as he did so thier conversation had been quite interesting. Before knowing it he had started to visit him everyday while the former medic recovered from his injures from that one nightmare. Dimitri had enjoyed this time with the other perhaps a little bit to much. This strange feeling inside of him had started to bother him alot more since starting to visiting Haiiro so often, everytime he saw him to be quite honest about it. Dimitri had tried to deny it to the best of his ability but now it started to get to difficult to ignore especially since everytime he saw the other his heart beat faster, founding himself even thinking about him in the most unexpected of times. So you see, this was really starting to become troublesome for the vampire.
Dimitri was not stupied though, he suspected what it was and that was what terrified him. Scared over what he might possible feel inside. If he would dare to admit his own feelings that meant he had allowed himself to get far to attached, something that never had happend before not like this. Admittedly Dimitri had never had this feelings for someone before the closest to even caring for someone had been his vampire family how had got extincted a long time ago. But what else could it be?. Dimitri had tried to found himself distractions like going out on that blind date with Hayliel. But the moment he had seen that picnic basket had thought about his own date with Haiiro as Inu. And during his recent blind date with Nymeria his mind had constantly slipt away to think about Haiiro, having found it hard to concentrate on the date not having enjoyed it as much like he usual would - should have because of it. Blind dates had always been the most funniest jokes for him so had thought it would have worked but without no results.
This was real bad, like real, real bad. None of this feelings he wanted anything with, it just wasn't who he was supposed to be. Love, what did that even meant?. So many times he had laugh at others faces how claimed to fall in love, to express thier affections towards him without feeling anything back then pity for them. How the this world explained for what love was supposed to be was just a to damn of an hilarious joke for him. It didn't exist just an illusion and so many times had he been proven right. No love existed forever and all thier emotions they claimed to be true would wash away into nothingness. People where quick to love just as quickly it could turn to hatred. Dimitri for sure didn't needed a such illusion, all he needed was his games. They would never leave him, forever loyal far more worth and importand then whatever his damn heart tried to tell him about. He hadn't time for feelings like this not now especially consider everything he had in plan right now to finish a old game to begin a new one.
Haiiro wasn't apart in any of his plans.
It had been nice what they had have this couple of weeks, it had made him be able to image a different life just like he had done with Inu. But it needed to end. He had to stop himself from visiting, to see him. The only way he could think about to do that was to leave, to create distance between them again and hopefully one day thier bond would fade away as well or until he found an solution to break this unecessery bond between the two of them. An other reason he couldn't be with him since he could tell what he as feeling inside and that was something no one had ever been able to do before, to read him through, and that scared him. Dimitri didn't liked to be readed through so openly by someone else, it just didn't settle well with him.
Today he had not gone to Haiiro's place like usual instead having wander through the forest to lay himself down in one of the fields that usual had flowers during the spring and summer. He would lay there on top of a rock, puzzled and conflicted with himself as he stared at the border that not was special far away. Before it had always been so easy to leave without even looking back so why did he needed to hesitant now for?. A frustrated huff come from him, and started to flink his tails back and forth. " Oh dear, i think i'm getting sick." he muttered to himself and flattered his ears.
He just wanted this feelings to go away.
// i need to stop writing posts when i have an headache
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