NOT TODAY ★ return to activity

*:･ﾟ✦ Maybe that was all she needed. Just some time to herself, some time to think and go over her life like a critic of her own movie. It was a short life, a pitiful existence, and her body was frail and weak, but Copperpaw needed to remember herself and why she was there. Her mortality was stunning, and in review of her life's events, she was afraid to realize how many times she could have died as a kitten. So many times, she was stuck in the medicine den, surrounded by bitter herbs, surrounded by friendly faces who hardly tried to mask their pity. They didn't think she was going to survive. They didn't think she was a genetic winner. Maybe it was cruel to keep her alive that long when upper respiratory infection after upper respiratory infection threatened her livelihood, but in the end, Copperpaw was glad to be here today.

Truthfully, she was no stronger than when she had first become an apprentice. She was still coughing, still sniffling, and she came into the medicine den every other hour for another dose of poppy seeds to hopefully act as some sort of painkillers. It was sort of admirable, honestly. Even with one eye, even with her affliction, Copperpaw was still intent on becoming a warrior. The she-cat was aware it was dumb, she knew it was a pipe dream, but she came by the logic that if she had survived all throughout her trying childhood, she deserved to be living life for all it had to offer instead of sitting on the sidelines as a passive passenger in her own life.

Even so, she enjoyed her moments of rest. She needed them often, as the sickness never seemed to stray from her body and she was constantly afflicted by some sort of fatigue, but at least she still breathed. At least she could still learn. At least she could still see those that loved her, even with only one eye. She had lost so much, but she still had so much to be grateful for. So she pondered these things at the edge of the camp with sunshine spilling over her deep auburn back and the forest calling to her from just beyond her reach. She smiled into it, even while a solemn sense reflected in her glassy amber eyes.

*:･ﾟ✦ There was Bearmumble, approaching her with good intentions and a friendly smile. She returned the gesture and nodded in greeting, a soft, gentle aura having surrounded her now. She wasn't at peace, and her story was still a work in progress, but she was trying. Even so, there was no point in lying to him. She felt awful. "I don't mean to complain, but I don't feel awesome. I've been coughing up blood all morning," she responded softly, and while her glossy yellow eyes glinted with a hint of sadness, she seemed determined not to worry him. She didn't need pity. "But oh well. I guess it's just par for the course," she continued then shrugged in response, forcing the same smile back onto her lips before coughing violently into the crook of her elbow. When she pulled away and recovered from the fit, a smattering of deep crimson blood could be seen sticking close to her fur,

Copperpaw recovered quickly however, mostly because she saw her mother padding close to her and the feline would do anything to keep her mother calm and without a care. Cinderstream deserved the best, and that's what she got; new mate, new kits, cats to replace the broken mess that her previous litter had been. Copperpaw laughed to herself bitterly, but kept up appearances anyways. "Hi mom," she murmured softly, curling into the warmth of Cinderstream. Desperately, the embittered apprentice wish that the clock could reverse and she could be in a time where she was still innocent and careless, unaware of death looming at her door.