all i can say is // returning // i'm so proud of you

^{dark hues into light --}

^{Orchid was home.}

^{Was he home?}

^{He didn't know.}

^{They say home is where the heart is. What happens, then, when your heart is pulled in so many directions, broken into so many different pieces and promised to so many people that you can no longer say where it truly belongs?}

^{They don't exactly cover that in the metaphor, unfortunately.}

^{When in doubt, he did what he always did, and returned to the place he was born.}

^{Once upon a time, he'd had a family. His mother, who's name at the time had been Muffet. A paladin in the Clan. He'd loved her, loved her more than anything. He'd had siblings, too, but they'd disappeared so quickly. He didn't understand why, but they hadn't been around long enough for him to know them. He was okay without them. But Muffet, Margaery, his mother... any time he thought on her, tears would spring into his eyes and he'd have to do everything he could to hold them back. She'd always been there for him, even when her and his stepmother, Suiteheart, had had more kids. Of course he'd been jealous, because what eldest child wouldn't be when there's a new baby? But... she made him feel like he still belonged. That meant everything to him, and yet she was gone, likely to never be seen by him again.}

^{His paws kept moving, bringing him to the base of the stairs that led to the islands that were so familiar to him.}

^{When thinking on his past, Mack was a major player. His first real relationship, a healthy one, one where they truly cared for each other. He'd managed to confess to the macawnine, and yet within a few weeks, his boyfriend was gone. Just like his mother, and just like everyone else he had ever cared about. He wasn't sure whether he could have been in love, because it hadn't been long enough for him to truly know before he lost him. It was to be expected, by that point. He didn't get to keep what made him happy.}

^{One step at a time.}

^{Slowly but surely.}

^{Wisteria. It all came back to her, in the end. His first crush, his first heartbreak, his best friend and likely his greatest rival, someone who his life seemed to be inexplicably intertwined with, no matter what happened. But it didn't matter. When they met as children, he hadn't liked her at first, and yet as time went on, they grew closer and closer, becoming friends first, until she told him she liked him. Yet, like a fool, he ruined it in so short a time. And it only happened again, and again, and again. Whether it was in relationships or in life, he would always hurt her and screw her over, and he would never forgive himself for all of the times he caused her heartache and heartbreak. Above all, she was the one person he cared about most. Even more than his mother, his former boyfriend, any of his close friends.}

^{And he lost her.}

^{The final step.}

^{After long consideration, he'd returned to his first body. Well... a nearly perfect imitation of his first body, although it wasn't the same one. That body was long gone, likely decomposing in the ground somewhere. It seemed fitting, considering he was returning to what used to be his home.}

^{His name, though, hadn't felt right. He wasn't the same person who he had been when he first lived here. He didn't deserve the name his mother had given him, and he refused to use it until such time as he felt he had earned that right and deserved the love she so willingly gave to him.}

^{Whitelotus took a seat at the top of the stairs, ready for whatever was to come.}

^{tags + plot}

^{dark hues into light --}

^{He hadn't expected to see faces he recognized, but still, it was rather odd when the ones who greeted him were completely unrecognizable to him. He supposed it didn't matter; regardless of who it was that was here, he was going to stay here, because this was where he'd come from and this was where he'd stay. Besides, his mother's garden--would it be considered his now?--was here, and he still felt he had to tend to it, even if he didn't truly hold any responsibilities at the moment anymore. At the question, he gave a hesitant smile, deciding to just be up front with it. "I'm, um, I'm Whitelotus," he introduced himself, stumbling over the sentence but getting through it nonetheless. "If it's alright with you, I'm here to join. Or, uh, rather, rejoin," he explained, as giving a reason for being here was probably rather important.}

^{tags + plot}

^{dark hues into light --}

^{"No, well, I don't expect we would have," he agreed, voice growing more confident, now that he had decided that these people who lived here now were trustworthy enough. Feeling as if it would be rude to leave it at that, he explained, "I mainly lived here under Tama. Her, and for a short while after Sweetophelia took power. From what I've heard, she's, uh, gone?" His voice lilted up at the end, turning the statement into more of a question, as he wasn't actually sure what had happened to her. All he knew was that he'd heard she longer was leading the Clan, and so he was stuck with the little information he knew.}

^{Whitelotus then let a small smile spread across his features, having cleared that up. "It's nice to meet you, though, Tavi and Angeldust." Even if the latter seemed as if he wasn't very enthusiastic about this, he wouldn't hold it against him. After all, he was the same way much of the time. The feline took a glance at the other who had introduced himself and continued, "The, um, the same extends to you, Nicklaus." It would've been rude to exclude him, and he had no reason to dislike him, so he saw no reason to leave him out of the greeting.}